The System Teaches You How to Be Human

The Dual Emperor Tournament was a highly prestigious competition that everyone on StarNet could participate in. The competition was divided into several sections, with the mecha battles being undeniably the most popular one.

It was a well-established fact that mechas were the romance of the interstellar people.

The Dual Emperor Tournament was currently in the first phase of selection. Interstellar citizens could choose to participate in either team battles or solo battles. The top ten winners wouldn’t only receive merits but also become prime candidates for recruitment by the nobility.

This competition was primarily designed to meet the needs of interstellar citizens, serving as nothing more than a pastime game for the wealthy and the nobles.

Si Yisi browsed through the browsing history left by Tru on StarNet. Ah Tu had transformed into a bald mechanical rabbit curled up on Si Yisi’s lap, mimicking the act of browsing.

Tru’s participation information was publicly available. He was scheduled to participate in a two-person mecha battle in half a day. Before that, Si Yisi noticed that Tru had placed a bet of 10,000 gold star coins on himself in the event’s betting section!

He bet on his own victory!

His opponent’s mental fluctuation felt eerily familiar to Si Yisi; Lin Xian, undoubtedly the only son of the Marshal.

Seeing the hostility between these two, Si Yisi easily deduced why Tru had helped him blow up the mecha.

Unfortunately, that mecha was Ah Tu, so it couldn’t be directly destroyed.

Si Yisi called Wang Qi over, “Can the star coins from the agreement be transferred to my StarNet account in advance?”

After receiving an affirmative response, it didn’t take long before a large sum of star coins was deposited into Si Yisi’s account.

Once he confirmed the funds were received, Si Yisi’s mental strength suddenly linked to an existence somewhat similar to himself. The semi-intelligent lifeform eagerly connected to Si Yisi’s mental strength, openly revealing its presence without any precaution.

The semi-intelligent lifeform took the form of a squishy round ball. Its digitized body resembled a semi-transparent jelly, with a pair of large eyes perched atop the warm orange “jelly.”

Its simulated voice was that of a crisp child’s tone, utterly naive and innocent, “Are you… my kin?”

“You could say that,” Si Yisi replied.

The “jelly” blinked its eyes, “This is the first time I’ve seen kin; so can I eat you?”

As soon as it finished speaking, its warm orange color rapidly darkened to a starry-night blue, its mouth opening wide to reveal rows of sharp teeth. It opened its maw wide enough to swallow a whole person and lunged at Si Yisi’s mental body!

Si Yisi had been prepared for it. How could a semi-system lifeform born within such a vast network as StarNet be innocent? What a ridiculous joke!

He remained motionless, allowing the “jelly” to bite down fiercely on his head, encasing his entire head in its gooey form!

The “jelly” bit down hard, then bit again…

“Jelly”: “???” Why can’t I bite through!

The next second, it felt its tightly clamped teeth forcibly pried open, one by one, as Si Yisi yanked each tooth out in mere seconds! But Si Yisi wasn’t done yet. After throwing the teeth aside, he struck the inside of the “jelly’s” mouth, leaving it unable to function properly!

Green chunks of blood spewed continuously from the “jelly’s” mouth with each hit, causing its body to shrink smaller and smaller. Eventually, it was reduced to the size of a thumb!

Si Yisi bent down and pinched the thumb-sized “jelly” between his fingers. Looking at its adorably pitiful appearance, he almost felt like he was bullying a child.

“Ulu-ulu, QwQ!!” The “jelly” reverted to its soft, warm-orange state, shedding its previous viciousness and emitting a series of pitiful sobs.

Ah Tu curiously eyed the “jelly.” Also in a mental form, he felt an irresistible urge to devour it upon sight.

With lightning speed, Ah Tu bared his two sharp fangs and snapped up the “jelly,” his thunderous power automatically breaking it down!

The moment Ah Tu swallowed the “jelly,” the entire StarNet experienced an unprecedented, violent tremor! This disruption startled countless mental entities and indirectly caused chaos among those in the midst of battles!

***

Tru had arranged a private warm-up duel with someone. Given his level of mecha combat skills, he was no match for the opponent he had invited; so this was a staged match where he was supposed to lose on purpose!

The opponent controlled his mecha and swung a punch. Just as he was about to strike Tru’s mecha in the face, he prepared to ease up and let Tru dodge. But unexpectedly, the ground suddenly trembled!

“Boom!”

With a dull thud, the opponent lost control of his strength and directly sent Tru flying!

“Ah!” In the real world, Tru clutched his burning face and let out a pained cry. The punch that was meant to be held back had instead landed mercilessly on the mecha’s face!

The uncontrolled strike not only left Tru’s entire body numb but also managed to bruise his face through the mecha!

“%$#$$%…!!!” Furious, Tru cursed at the top of his lungs, but his swearing was automatically censored by StarNet’s system, turning into a string of harmless characters.

There was nothing he could do to the opponent, either. They had signed a contract beforehand, ensuring that the employer couldn’t hold the hired fighter accountable for any unintentional mistakes.

Tru was so enraged he was about to lose his mind. He had carefully arranged to team up with an absolute expert for the upcoming mecha battle, but now, the only way to vent his fury was to crush some weaklings!

Tru fixed his gaze on the betting column, watching the amount wagered on Lin Xian’s victory skyrocket. Excitement surged in his chest!

Did he think a randomly assembled weak team could defeat me? This time, I’ll make Lin Xian kneel before me in front of everyone!

***

“Stop, Ah Tu.” Si Yisi urgently stopped Ah Tu, who was about to devour the “jelly.”

Ah Tu shot his master an aggrieved glare, drooling as he longingly eyed the “jelly,” his mechanical eyes gleaming with the predatory instinct of a beast staring at its prey.

The “jelly” had nearly become food. Trembling violently, it began to weep, forming small puddles of jelly-like tears. It seemed to have momentarily forgotten Si Yisi’s ruthlessness and instinctively moved closer to its “savior.”

“Don’t eat it. It’s filthy. You’ll get sick,” Si Yisi dismissed Ah Tu’s hunger with a single sentence.

Ah Tu immediately lost interest in eating the “jelly.” Instead, he human-like produced a toothpick and began scraping his teeth in disgust.

The “jelly” shuddered, its voice quivering as it pleaded for its life, “I… I’m very useful! I can steal money from powerful figures for you! You need money, don’t you? I can also help you find ways to extend your lifespan and awaken your mental power; doesn’t your mother need that?”

The moment it finished speaking, Si Yisi grabbed it.

Si Yisi’s gaze was filled with chilling intent as he stared at the “jelly.” “Shut up.”

The “jelly’s” offer was tempting, but thinking it through, every single one of its words was a hidden trap. Stealing from powerful figures? Did it think he had a death wish? He’d be hunted down before he even had the chance to spend a single coin!

A method to extend lifespan? A way to awaken mental power?

Any rare information like that, once spread by a semi-intelligent StarNet lifeform, would make the person who possessed it the target of countless hunters!

This thing might act pitiful, but every sentence it spoke was bait, just waiting for Si Yisi to take the plunge!

“I need you to do something. You don’t have the right to refuse.” Si Yisi tightened his grip, crushing the “jelly” until its body was nearly in pieces. “If you show even the slightest bit of disobedience, don’t blame me for eating you myself.”

The “jelly” had planned to eat Si Yisi, but the situation had completely reversed, and now it was the one being threatened; such karma!

“Y-Yes… tell me what you need…” The “jelly” jiggled nervously.

Si Yisi had been wondering how to arrange a match against Tru, and now, a convenient tool had just delivered itself to his doorstep.

“Make my first opponent in the tournament this person.”

The image that appeared was none other than Tru!

After thoroughly intimidating the “jelly,” Si Yisi turned and placed all of his available star coins onto the betting table.

***

Half a day passed in the blink of an eye.

Completely unaware of the silent deal that had taken place, Tru was excitedly contacting the media stationed on StarNet, preparing for pre-match publicity. He had even drafted a press release in advance!

In Tru’s eyes, his victory over Lin Xian was already set in stone! When the time came, he would release the news immediately, mocking Lin Xian’s incompetence as the Marshal’s son!

Ha! Tru could already picture how utterly humiliated Lin Xian would be!

Not to mention the bet…

Tru had even prepared multiple aerial cameras to record Lin Xian kneeling before him from every angle!

Several aerial cameras had already begun hovering in midair, and this extravagant display of spending in the virtual StarNet quickly attracted a crowd of curious interstellar onlookers!

My god, what kind of filthy rich big shot was about to compete?!

Even before the match between Tru and Lin Xian had begun, Tru’s reckless and extravagant spending had already drawn significant attention!

While the citizens of StarNet whispered among themselves, speculating about which fool was throwing money around so lavishly, Si Yisi stepped into a mecha customization center, browsing for a mecha to use in the competition.

The center was filled with countless mechas, dazzling to the eye. Fortunately, there was a list to help filter the options, making the selection process much easier.

Si Yisi examined them for a while. Under the guidance of the staff, he quickly adjusted the mecha’s sensitivity, aesthetics, and energy consumption; all to the lowest possible levels!

The mecha he selected had the appearance of Ah Tu’s current body; one of the ugliest mechas in existence!

“I’ve made my choice.”

The staff member received Si Yisi’s customization request and was utterly stunned! How hideous was this mecha?! Not only did it look like a piece of junk salvaged from a scrapyard, but its stats were also as fragile as a sheet of paper!

This was the most bizarre request the staff member had ever encountered. She felt that Si Yisi might as well go next door to the mecha repair shop and buy a second-hand scrap mecha instead!

“C-Customer, are you sure about this…?” The staff member was so shocked that she struggled to believe what she was hearing.

“With these settings, a single physical attack will severely damage your mecha. Are you absolutely certain?!”

And it’s so ugly, too. The staff member quietly grumbled in her heart. Buyers always had strange requests, but this is on another level!

“I’m sure.” Si Yisi nodded. “I won’t give them a chance to hit me.”

The staff member: “…”

Alright, fine. You’re paying, so you’re the boss.

But just to be safe, she went to get the shop owner and explained the situation to him. “Boss, I’m worried that if this guy goes out in such a ridiculous mecha, it’ll ruin our shop’s reputation.”

Every mecha came with a visible manufacturer’s mark, serving as free advertisement.

“That… is a problem.” The shop owner thought for a moment before making a swift decision. “Alright, let’s charge him a little less and just leave our logo off the mecha.”

He cast a disdainful glance at Si Yisi, who was waiting for a response.

“He’s probably just some clueless kid. Says he won’t get hit? Ha, what a joke. Bet he doesn’t even realize mechas usually have branding.”

The moment he finished speaking, the shop owner suddenly felt a chill run down his spine.

Si Yisi thought to himself, I heard that. But he merely gave the man a flat look before picking up his newly customized mecha and mecha control button, then leaving without another word.

***

By the time Si Yisi arrived, Lin Xian and Tru were already exchanging verbal jabs below the stage.

“You’d better get ready to kneel and bow when you lose!” Tru laughed arrogantly, full of himself.

Lin Xian glanced at the cool-looking person beside Tru, his expression darkening. This was blatant cheating; Tru was so desperate to win that he’d lost his mind!

Still, Lin Xian figured his odds were about fifty-fifty. After all, no matter how skilled someone was, they couldn’t carry a complete deadweight. Besides, the competition valued fairness. If someone had too high of a win rate, the system would automatically adjust various thresholds to balance things out.

Just then, both Tru and Lin Xian received their entrance notifications.

Tru sneered, “Hah! Let’s see what kind of garbage you get matched with!”

Lin Xian turned to the empty spot beside him; only to see a figure slowly approaching, fully encased in a mecha.

The person’s title gleamed in golden text, written in bold, flamboyant strokes.

[Kneel and Call Me Daddy!]