A Court of Lost Stars

The grand piano had sat idle for years. Hollis couldn't remember when he'd last run his fingers over the keys and heard its sweet tune. The things that once brought him joy were now a distant memory. Lowering himself to the bench, he rested his fingers on the cool ivory and recalled the time he sat here with Nova. His fingers had ached, but he'd have played all night for her if it meant she kept smiling.

"I haven't seen you in this room in a while." 

Hollis found his mother standing in the doorway, smiling at him. Tears brimmed her eyes and fell down her cheeks, replacing old stains. She moved gracefully across the room and took the space beside him.

He returned to the keys, placed a hand against the ivory, and let his middle finger sing a note. "I couldn't find a reason to."

Her reassuring hand touched his shoulder and squeezed, then she licked her thumb and smudged away a bit of remnant dirt from the stables.

"Mother…" He chuckled but looked at her with affection before taking her hands in his and squeezing them. "It will be alright." He glanced up at her, looking into the eyes they shared.

Taking a shaky breath, Vivane nodded, "Yes, I know…" She trailed off as another tear rolled and admired him for a moment. "Life has never been easy, Hollis, but when your father returned from Under The Mountain, and we had you, I swore I'd never let anyone take you away. I would fight til my last breath to keep you safe…"

A muscle feathered in Hollis' jaw as he stared at their connected hands.

Viviane offered a small, smile through glittering eyes. "Do you know what your first celebration was?" She asked gently.

Slowly shaking his head, he guessed. "Winter Solstice?"

She shook her head and smiled, "Starfall."

Hollis raised his brows as his mother laughed.

"Rhysand and Feyre invited us to the Night Court to watch the stars fall, and at the time, I was pregnant with you," she smiled, lost in a distant memory, "When the first star fell, you kicked harder than you ever had before."

Silence fell like snow before she continued, "I will always strive to keep you safe, but I know your destiny is not tied to me. Not to us." She met his worried gaze. "Whatever happens, know you always have a place here. In our Court…in our hearts. Even if yours may lead you elsewhere."

It took Hollis a moment to speak past the lump in his throat, "If I'm not strong enough…" While others master blades and magic, Hollis had found his skills deprived. He lacked the coordination needed to fight effectively and the gifts his father passed onto him. Stories were repeatedly told of his parents' bravery in their fight against Hybern, how they fought fearlessly in the stride of battle.

And Hollis?

Hollis couldn't sleep at night without a fucking bottle.

"Strength is not one shade of color. One person's strength is another's weakness," Viviane said firmly, "You are more capable than you allow yourself to be, and you'll understand that in time. Life brings us lessons with its hardships, Hollis. Don't shun its teachings."

A soft voice came from the door and Hollis looked over to see his father watching them fondly. "The Night Court is here, are you ready?" 

Hollis swallowed and nodded as he stood to his feet. He'd spent so much of his time within the palace, never crossing the boundary after they closed the gates. Now, he'd be walking past them, unable to look back at the life he'd always known. Before walking to the door, he was caught in his mother's embrace. He smiled, hugging her back.

"I know you won't be able to write us," she said, pulling away and smoothing away the lapels of his jacket to brush away the tears she left behind, "But you'll be back for the Solstice. Even if I have to come get you myself."

He couldn't stop his grin, "Of course."

Turning to his father, who approached solemnly, he wrapped him in his arms before he pulled back to smile, fighting the heat behind his eyes. "I love you very much…and am so proud of you. We both are." Kallias squeezed his shoulders, "Come, we don't want to keep them waiting."

With dry eyes again, they descended the stairs and ventured to the main foyer, where members of the Winter Court stood among members of the Night Court. Everyone was packed lightly, bringing only necessities for the trip if they went on foot.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere he's going!" Jane pointed a finger at Brutus.

"Likewise," Brutus grumbled in return, his bushy brows covering his eyes.

Feyre, who stood between them, glanced up as Hollis, Kallias, and Viviane came into view and breathed a sigh of relief. "I think we can come to an agreement. A compromise?"

Just as Jane was ready to hurdle another insult at Brutus, Hollis stepped in with a bright winter smile and offered his arm. "I was hoping you'd change your mind about staying."

"You're just trying to butter me up." She waved her hand but walked with him toward Rhysand, where he stood wearing an amused smirk.

Hollis offered a sheepish smile. "Jane was one of the first Mortal families to take residence in the Winter Court, and she's very special to me."

"Oh," Jane smiled through her wrinkles, "You need to stop flirting with me."

"She stole my squash, you know," Brutus said in a not-so-soft whisper to Feyre, who bit back a giggle.

Jane turned to point a finger at him. "And I'd do it again!"

Grinning, Rhysand offered his hand to Jane. "I'll take very good care of her."

Jane looked the High Lord of the Night Court up and down, "You're a flirt, too."

Rhysand laughed as he carefully took Jane into his arms and winnowed away.

"Beautiful, feral thing, isn't she?" Brutus chuckled as Kallias smiled, offering his arm to winnow him to the Night Court.

With so many traveling, they wouldn't have been able to winnow everyone and maintain the strength they needed should they suddenly fall under attack. So, while the oldest of the crew were taken by Rhysand, Kallias, and Feyre, the mothers with infants were held in Cassian and Azriel's secure arms. Bundled to protect against the cold, they were flown across the lands.

The remaining travelers, older children, and others who were strong enough to walk gathered their bags. Hollis offered his mother one last smile before he and the other Illyrians began the trek toward Velaris. 

The further they traveled from the Winter Court boundary, the warmer the weather. It reminded Hollis of his first time visiting the Spring Court. It had been so warm, and the pollen in the air had tickled his nose and irritated his eyes. To his surprise, he didn't mind walking through the Dawn Court. 

At this moment, it wasn't so warm that his clothes stuck to his skin, but it wasn't so cold that he needed his jacket on. The insulated leather was stuffed into his bag as he walked alongside Bran, their thirty-six companions not far behind them.

Together, he and the Illyrians created an oval shape around his Court, encasing them in wings of protection. Bran and Hollis took the lead to ensure the path ahead was safe. Finch was situated on the left, Kyra on the right, and Caspian took the rear. They'd walked for hours in this formation and crossed the mountain pass, entering the Dawn Court boundaries just as the sun set.

"How much guidance do you want from me?" Bran asked, stealing a glance at Hollis' profile.

Blinking in surprise, he met his eyes. "What do you mean?"

Wearing a small smile, Bran said, "These are your people. We're here to help keep them safe, but what we do is ultimately up to you. We've been given orders to follow your command."

My command?

"Right, yes, of course." Bran was right, obviously. If Hollis was going to be a leader, he needed to…well, lead. There was just one problem. He didn't know how to lead. Yes, his parents had taught him the basics of ruling the Winter Court, but they weren't in the Winter Court. Trading goods and tips on discussing treaties wouldn't do him much good out here. 

These were uncharted waters, and Hollis had no idea how to swim. 

Hollis glanced at Bran, who walked and waited patiently for an answer. Finally, Hollis asked, "Is it safer to get there as quickly as possible or to stop for the night?"

A smile quirked the corner of Bran's lips as he nodded, "There are creatures that lurk in the trees, but a tired mind makes for a vulnerable body."

Hollis took the information in and nodded, "We'll stop for the night and pitch the tents."

"Alright."

Silence passed between them for a minute as they continued to walk before Bran nudged his ribs with his elbow and asked, "Are you going to tell them?" He nodded his head back at the Winter Court citizens, who were now dragging their feet with weary expressions.

A thrill of anxiety crept through Hollis' veins. "Oh, right…yes." He sent a worried glance at Bran. It wasn't as though they were meeting for the first time, but what would he think of him now? In his Court he could at least pretend to be confident. Coming to a stop, Bran stopped, too, just as Hollis did. Following his movements.

Heart pounding, Hollis turned to look over the faces that looked up at him. Frowns and sweat-covered brows leered up at him. The last they'd stopped was a short break to eat and fill water canteens. He cleared his throat and begged his voice not to crack as he announced, "We'll stop for the night and pitch our tents on-" he paused as a wave of cold flushed his cheeks, and he glanced at Bran, "High…" When he received a slight nod of approval, he continued, "On high ground." Scanning the crowd, his eyes settled on the Illyrians who watched him for their next order.

"Kyra, find the highest elevation for the night…please. Caspian, we'll need a fresh stream."

Without hesitation, they set out with their tasks, and Hollis clenched his jaw, side-eyeing Bran.

Now what?

He said, "We'll follow Kyra. When a site is found, we'll pitch the tents and make a fire."

Hollis let out a slow breath and managed a small, thankful smile at Bran before guiding the rest of the Winter Court off the path and into the forest where Kyra was scouting for the best resting spot.

It didn't take much longer for Kyra to find high ground that was even enough to situate the tents. It was just breaking nightfall, and the clearing was surrounded by dense trees in the shape of a temporary campsite. Caspian returned with water while Finch created a roaring fire and put a cauldron of rabbit stew over the licking flames.

Hollis worked with Bran to ensure everyone had water in their canteens just as a familiar presence appeared. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Rhysand, Azriel, and Cassian enter the clearing. He couldn't stop the sudden panic that twisted in his chest, but Bran chuckled.

"They're just here to help. Not criticize your leadership."

Hollis pursed his lips into a thin line and nodded, but the nausea he felt from knowing he could be doing something wrong was an ache he couldn't soothe. Whether they were here to help or pass judgment didn't matter; the issue was…according to the prophecy, he was supposedly destined to be with Nova.

Rhysand's daughter.

They had always been protective of her, and now they could see, without the shields of his parents, the kind of leader he was. He doubted they'd look at him and think he was worthy of the star they cherished. 

"What leadership?" Hollis asked quietly, shaking his head as he filled another canteen. "I fumbled every word I said."

Bran shrugged and looked around the site. "I don't think they seemed to notice." He pursed his lips, watching Rhysand and the others walk toward them. So he said more quietly, "If they didn't trust you to lead them, they wouldn't have left your Court."

"Everyone is in one piece," Rhys said with a smile as he approached. "Everything is going well?" He asked, directing his attention to Hollis as Cassian and Azriel flanked him. They seemed busy looking around the camp and beyond the treeline.

Whenever Hollis spoke to Rhysand, which was a rare event, it was while in the presence of his parents. Now, there wasn't a buffer. The High Lord of the Night Court was speaking to him directly, and he had to supply an answer.

"Yes," Hollis cleared his throat, "We're…uhm…yes, we're…alive…" He inwardly cringed. If the Cauldron took his life now, he honestly wouldn't argue.

Rhysand raised a brow as his smile stretched into a grin. "That is exactly what we want."

Wings brushed against Hollis' shoulder as Kyra stepped up. "Finch says the stews ready. Who knew that boy could cook? Honestly, I'd still sniff it before you put it in your mouth."

"I heard that!" Finch grunted from where he stood by the fire.

Kyra snickered, and Hollis quickly excused himself and helped dish out bowls for the people of his Court, who began standing in line for their portion.

Standing with Bran and Kyra, Rhys watched Hollis as his demeanor slowly morphed from disastrously awkward to warm smiles and gentle words of encouragement.

"How is he doing?" Rhysand asked, keeping his gaze steady as he observed him.

Kyra shrugged, "He's not half bad. Just scared shitless."

"Aren't we all?" Rhysand countered with a knowing smirk.

Hollis was the last to eat. After ensuring everyone had a bowl, he served himself and settled in an empty area away from the fire. Everyone intermingled. Some spoke in hushed tones, while others struggled to keep their eyes open mid-bite. Over the years spent with only the company of quiet shadows, Hollis was used to the solitary life. So, imagine his surprise as four Illyrians walked toward him, two of whom had very loud mouths, as they plopped in his once quiet area.

"Oh please," Kyra rolled her eyes at Finch, "You did not."

"I did," Finch argued with a grin and a wag of his brow. He looked at Bran, "She's just jealous."

Bran shook his head, "Don't pull me into this." He sighed, taking a bite of a potato.

Smirking, Caspian shook his head and remained silent.

It was possibly past his better judgment, but Hollis asked, "What?"

"He says he broke the score for the obstacle course," Kyra rolled her eyes at Finch, "He's a liar because Nova's score is still the fastest."

Finch sighed, "Try to keep up."

She settled an incredulous look on him.

"The course was altered; therefore, the past scores are nonexistent. Meaning I have the fastest score. You're just pissed you slipped."

Watching the bicker back and forth was probably the most entertaining thing Hollis had witnessed in quite some time. There weren't ever too many interesting things to happen to a person who always stayed to themselves. So this, in a way, was a bit of a treat. Strange as it was.

"Hollis." Rhysand's voice pulled him from the conversation. He looked up to see the High Lord waiting for him near the forest's edge. Swallowing harshly, Hollis set his bowl to the side and stood, willing his movements not to look as unwavering as he felt. 

Controlling his breathing, he left the group and walked toward Rhysand, who turned and delved further into the woods. 

Maybe this isn't a good idea, part of his brain argued.

"Come on, Hollis," Rhysands' amused voice came from somewhere in the darkness, and Hollis pushed forward. He didn't like the feeling of brambles against his cheeks but ignored their pricks as he stopped at the tree Rhysand was leaning against. 

Rhys pursed his lips and observed him momentarily before nodding, "Your father didn't receive his letter until after we left the palace. I didn't know you were unaware…"

Furrowing his brow, Hollis stared at him, "Unaware of what?"

"The Courts have called a meeting," Rhysand answered gently. "We're to meet with them very soon. It won't be long after you reach Velaris. I don't know what they will ask of us, but you must be prepared."

A cold that wasn't from the air filled Hollis' lungs.

"They'll make us join?" He asked softly.

Rhysand nodded, "It's likely…"

They were quiet before Rhys moved forward and stopped a foot before Hollis, "I need you to understand something."

Hollis cringed, waiting for the ridicule.

"I will not stand in the way of fate," Rhysand said, and Hollis slowly raised his brows. "I will do everything within my power to help you, to help Nova, but no one should be forced into a marriage they don't want…" He trailed off, his violet eyes sharpening. "Nova will be arriving in Velaris soon, and I want her to have time in her home before she relocates elsewhere. Feyre and I haven't seen her for ten years, and we'd like some time before the meeting before everything is set to change again. So, I'd like you to stay in the accommodations we have set for you. For the time being, at least."

Hollis found himself slowly nodding. There was a strange pang in his chest. Knowing Nova would be mere miles away, and he'd been asked not to see her. Of course, it was a request he would honor. If the tables were turned, his parents would have asked the same. He couldn't fault them for wanting to be selfish in the possibly limited time with their daughter.

"I understand…"

Rhysand nodded, "Cassian and Ansel will ensure everyone has everything they need. I can't imagine they'll need to stay too long, but it's best to be prepared."

Silent, Hollis clamped his hands together and absently ground his palms together, "I'm sorry. For all of this."

Knitting his brows together, Rhys shook his head. "Hollis, you need to understand that things happen in this world that aren't any one person's fault. Things happen that you can't predict or explain," he paused, "If fate should have it that you're intended for my daughter, then I will love you as my own."

Hollis glanced up at him and blinked, meeting his earnest gaze.

"I vowed to care for and protect you ten years ago, and that has not changed.

Rhysand's words rolled around in Hollis' mind as he lay in his tent that night. Perhaps it was through his lens as a child that he assumed Rhysand would abhor him for what was happening. The sense that the Night Court held some deep hatred for him had always been there, gnawing at the surface. 

Searching through his memories while staring at the tent's roof, he pondered that perhaps it had been his fear that warped his memories into something more sinister. 

He recalled the Spring Court…the night of the Winter Ball…the night of the attack.

With each memory, Hollis felt the anxiety of the unknown, but Rhysand and Feyre had looked on him with kindness in all of them. What he thought was their disdain for him, maybe…it had always been how he perceived himself.

Not good enough.

Not strong enough.

Clenching his jaw, Hollis forced his eyes to close, but the moment he did, he was met with darkness. Snapping his eyes open, his heart skipped a beat.

What would they say at the meeting? Would they force him to marry Nova right there in front of them?

And what would Nova think?

Would…she hate him for being bound to him?

The story of his parents had been an epic tale of love, one that Hollis had hoped for himself. Not in the same way, of course, but to marry the one he loved without hesitation and for them to reciprocate that love? 

He couldn't imagine a better existence.

The last he saw Nova, they'd encountered Autumn Court soldiers in their forest. She'd barely spoken to him, and what she did speak, he couldn't always understand what she meant. Ten years was a long time, and he knew he'd grown in ways, but had she? Could he, in good conscience, be with someone who had been barely speaking sentences?

"Just relax," Hollis told himself, forcing his eyes to close, fighting the urge to open them again. "Go to sleep. Relax…"

Even as sleep began to creep on his aching body, something cold and disfigured settled in his chest. He knew the feeling well, but he didn't have his usual tool to chase them away this time. The last of his liquor had been gone, and no one had packed wine to save space for water. A few sips might have been enough to warm his growing dread, but he would have to suffer without.

A slow crackling sound pulled his eyelids open as he gazed up and watched the inside of his tent begin to frost over. As he breathed, small plumes of air filled the space before him. Pinching his eyes shut, he clenched his fists and stilled his body, but with each acceleration of his heart rate, the colder his tent got.

Hollis tried to take a deep, shaky breath, but it was as though something was sitting on his chest, preventing him from breathing. His eyes widened as he realized he couldn't draw in a breath and brought his hands to his throat, scratching lines down the flesh of his throat. The zinging warmth of the pain his nails inflicted was enough to let him take a tiny breath, but his vision was starting to darken and haze around the edges.

Calm.

The sudden sensation settled over Hollis like the softest blanket. Raking in a breath, warmth filled his chest, and the ice that had begun enveloping his tent slowly evaporated.

I am here.

Have peace.

Hollis leaned into the words like a caress, suddenly warm from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. It was a different warmth than what the bottle or injuries offered. This took over his senses with light and peace. It wasn't a distraction from the other pain he felt; this was like a balm to a burn, not covering but healing the ache he always carried.

Slowly, his muscles relaxed, and Hollis hung onto the soothing voice as it lulled him into his first peaceful sleep in years.