A Honkai: Zhongli x Star Rail

The Astral Express hummed gently as it descended toward the planet Jalamet, a bustling trade hub known for its floating cities and endless markets.

Zhongli stood near the window of the parlor car, observing as their destination came into view. Massive platforms hovered above a vibrant, cloud-covered world, linked by bridges of light and gravity-defying lifts.

From above, he could already see thousands of merchants, their stalls overflowing with goods both familiar and utterly alien.

March 7th nudged him with a grin. "So, Zhongli… ever tried shopping in space?"

Zhongli chuckled softly. "I have traversed the markets of Liyue many times. I imagine the fundamental principles of trade remain the same, regardless of the world."

Pom-Pom, who had been listening, hopped up onto the table. "Then Pom-Pom has a challenge for you, Zhongli!"

Zhongli arched a brow. "A challenge?"

March smirked. "Yup! A shopping contest.

You, me, and Pom-Pom each get 500 credits. Whoever gets the best deal wins!"

Dan Heng sighed from across the room. "March, we are here to gather supplies, not to start unnecessary competitions."

March waved him off. "It's for science! And, uh… fun. Mostly fun."

Himeko leaned against the doorway, smirking. "I'd actually love to see this. A former Geo Archon versus March and Pom-Pom in a battle of bargains? Count me in as a spectator."

Zhongli chuckled, setting his teacup down. "Very well. If this is the custom of Jalamet, then I shall partake."

March grinned. "Alright, Mr. Consultant, let's see if you can still negotiate like a Liyue businessman!"

The Express doors hissed open.

Their market adventure had begun.

---

The Art of the Deal

The floating city of Jalamet was a spectacle of trade and culture.

Everywhere, merchants called out their wares—selling rare metals, woven star-silk, gravity-defying sculptures, and even food that shifted colors based on temperature.

Zhongli walked calmly through the streets, his golden eyes scanning the stalls with measured curiosity.

Meanwhile, March and Pom-Pom had already rushed ahead, each determined to win the contest.

March pointed excitedly at a hovering scarf made of starlight-thread. "Ooooh! That looks cool! How much?"

The merchant, a large insectoid being with six arms, clicked its mandibles. "Five hundred credits! Very rare, very stylish!"

March frowned. "Five hundred?! That's my entire budget!"

She turned to Pom-Pom, who was eyeing a set of tiny space boots. "Pom-Pom, I think I'm gonna need a loan—"

Pom-Pom shook their head. "Pom-Pom does not do loans!"

Meanwhile, Zhongli had already begun his negotiations.

He stood before a stall selling celestial inkstones, elegantly carved artifacts that pulsed with faint cosmic energy.

The merchant, a floating, jellyfish-like being, wobbled eagerly. "Ah, a refined customer! These inkstones are 300 credits each."

Zhongli studied them carefully.

"The craftsmanship is exceptional," he mused, running a gloved hand over the surface. "However, I notice that the engravings are not Xianzhou in origin. They resemble pre-collapse Panhua script—a style often reproduced but rarely authentic."

The merchant froze. "W-What? No, no, these are genuine!"

Zhongli smiled slightly. "If they were truly from Panhua, they would carry contractual markings on the reverse side."

He turned the inkstone over—revealing a blank back.

The merchant wobbled nervously.

March, watching from a few stalls away, whispered to Pom-Pom. "Oh my god, he's terrifying."

Pom-Pom nodded. "Pom-Pom respects this skill."

Zhongli set the inkstone down. "I will take one—but at 100 credits. That is a fair price for a reproduction, wouldn't you agree?"

The merchant hesitated, then quickly nodded.

"Yes, yes! A fair price indeed!"

Zhongli handed over the credits, tucking the inkstone into his coat.

March sighed dramatically. "We're so losing this contest."

Pom-Pom crossed their arms. "Pom-Pom still has one strategy left!"

March raised a brow. "Which is…?"

Pom-Pom hopped onto a stall selling Luminite Crystals and stared intensely at the merchant.

The merchant, a round bird-like creature, twitched. "U-uh… are you… staring me down?"

Pom-Pom did not blink.

A tense silence fell.

The merchant began sweating. "Okay, okay! Ten percent discount! Just… stop looking at me like that!"

Pom-Pom nodded, satisfied. "Pom-Pom accepts."

March threw her hands up. "Wait, THAT WORKED?!"

---

The Results

Back at the Express, the contestants gathered to compare their purchases.

March had gotten a glowing scarf for half price (by pretending to cry). Pom-Pom had successfully intimidated a merchant into giving them crystals at a discount.

And Zhongli…

He placed his authentic-looking inkstone onto the table. "One hundred credits."

March groaned. "Okay, yeah. We got completely outplayed."

Pom-Pom sighed. "Pom-Pom admits defeat."

Himeko laughed. "Well, that settles it! Looks like Zhongli is the Astral Express's new best negotiator."

March pouted. "That wasn't even fair! He's got, like, thousands of years of haggling experience!"

Welt smirked. "Which means you both learned a valuable lesson—never challenge an Archon in business."

Zhongli simply took a sip of his tea, his expression as calm as ever.

"I must admit, this was… an enjoyable exercise."

March slumped onto the table. "Great. Now I'm broke and I lost a contest."

Zhongli gave her a reassuring nod. "Then perhaps next time, I shall offer you a few lessons in negotiation."

March blinked. "Wait. You mean, like… you'd teach me?"

Zhongli smiled slightly. "Of course. After all, even the greatest merchants must start somewhere."

March's eyes sparkled. "Okay, now I'm excited!"

Pom-Pom crossed their arms. "Pom-Pom also wants lessons."

Zhongli chuckled. "Very well. Then our next stop shall be a true test of skill."

Welt raised a brow. "And where would that be?"

Zhongli's eyes glowed with amusement.

"A Liyue marketplace."

March and Pom-Pom gasped in horrified excitement.

Himeko grinned. "Oh, now that I have to see."

The Astral Express continued its journey, laughter echoing through its halls.

---

Chapter 12 Preview: The Tea Master of the Express

After conquering the markets of Jalamet, Zhongli takes on a new challenge—teaching the crew the art of tea-making.

March's disastrous attempts.

Pom-Pom's obsession with perfectly measured leaves.

And Welt discovering that Zhongli's tea is far stronger than expected.

Who will become the Astral Express's tea master?

And can Zhongli survive March's "experimental flavors? "

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Author's Note: 〜⁠(⁠꒪⁠꒳⁠꒪⁠)⁠〜