Chaos' Heir

Khan had expected a similar statement. After all, he knew Monica like the back of his hand and could sense the emotions afflicting her mana. However, nothing could have prepared him for actually hearing those words.

"What do you mean?" Khan asked. "Why?"

Monica wanted to reply, but another sob clogged her throat, making her unable to speak. Tears started flowing down her eyes, and she diverted her face to avoid being seen by Khan.

"Is it because of humankind?" Khan questioned, not giving up as he stepped forward and grabbed Monica's shoulders. "My Uncle will deal with that, and Colonel Norrett also knows about everything now."

Monica tried to escape Khan's grasp but was unable to. She couldn't oppose Khan unless he played along and let her.

"Everything is safe here now," Khan continued. "We don't have to stay here anymore."

That was true, at least from Khan's perspective. Monica aimed for the seat of Matriarch inside the Solodrey family, but that could wait. It actually had to wait for Baoway to reap more benefits for Monica to be eligible for that position.

"So," Khan said. "Come wit-."

"Don't say it!" Monica shouted, stopping struggling while lowering her head. "Don't ask it."

Khan fell silent, his grasp on Monica's shoulders weakening. She was properly crying now, and he felt lost. He couldn't control his emotions, no matter how much his rational side had prepared him for that possibility.

"If you ask me," Monica sobbed, "I'll do it. I'll do anything you want me to do. I won't be able to refuse you at all."

"Don't you want to be with me?" Khan asked, making sure to choose his words carefully.

"Of course I do!" Monica cried, lifting her head to look at Khan. "I desperately want to. I want to be with you all the time forever, but that's not all."

Monica gulped, breathing deeply in a desperate attempt to control her tears. She failed, but Khan waited until she could speak again.
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"If," Monica muttered, her voice cracking. "If I come with you, you'll kill yourself twice as hard. You'll always be conflicted between what you should and must do, and you'll blame yourself for it."

"You are the one who always deals with my doubts," Khan reminded. "I don't know where I would be if it weren't for you."

"I know where," Monica exclaimed without explaining further. "But, that was then. I don't know now. I can't understand you most of the time."

"What are you even saying?" Khan questioned. "If you don't understand me, who can?"

"Don't pretend to misunderstand!" Monica cried. "Don't reassure me! You know that better than me. You know better than anyone else. I can't see your world. I can't reach you anymore."

Strength abandoned Khan's arms. They fell limp at his sides while he studied Monica's core. She was breaking apart but summoned her entire strength to last long enough to deliver her message.

"I'm-," Monica said before a sob interrupted her line, forcing her to lower her head again. "When I'm with you … Khan, I'm scared. You scare me."

Khan instinctively tried to reach for Monica, only to lower his hand again. He had noticed that development before Monica could come to terms with it. Yet, Khan was innocent. He wasn't actively trying to scare Monica. His existence simply was too much for her.

"It's not your fault," Monica promptly reassured. "It's mine, and it isn't. I even thought about increasing my attunement, but how would that work? I'm not as good as you. I'll never be as good as you."

"I never asked you to be good at this," Khan stated, "And I can wait as long as you need."

"Khan, you just killed an evolved warrior," Monica exclaimed. "Meanwhile, I'm at the same level I was one year ago."

Monica raised her head. Tears tainted her desperate, helpless, beautiful face. It pained her to have that conversation, but she had to. She knew Khan would burn the entire universe to search for non-existent solutions otherwise.

"And," Monica continued. "I don't want to. That's not my world, Khan. It never was. I forced myself to join it because you were there."

"And I never asked you to join it," Khan declared. "I don't want you to. Do you think I like putting you in danger?"

"But you thrive in it!" Monica shouted. "I hate it. I'd do anything to stop you from going there, but you belong there. You want to be there. It is your world, and I can't separate you from it."

Khan fell silent. That discussion felt strangely similar to what he had with Cora, but she never popped into his mind. Somehow, his brain realized everything was different at that time.

"Believe me," Monica added. "I tried."

"Can't you love me even if I scare you?" Khan asked, almost not believing the words coming out of his mouth.

"Don't you get it?" Monica sniffed. "I do love you. I love you more than anything. I love you more than myself."

Khan opened his mouth, but Monica spoke again, interrupting him. "Which is why I can't come with you. I'll just be a burden. I'd weaken you, and I can't allow that."

"I can't ask you to wait for me," Khan stated, "Here, alone. I don't know how long I'll be gone. I don't know what I'll be when I return, especially after being without you for a while."

"You'll be whatever you need to be to save us all," Monica declared, "And I'd love you anyway, even if being in your presence would suffocate me."

"Is it suffocating to be with me?" Khan asked.

Monica wanted to reassure Khan, but a sob interrupted her. She covered her mouth, doing her best to finish what she had set her mind to do, but it took her a while to calm down. As for Khan, he obviously waited for her.

"If you depart knowing I'm waiting for you," Monica continued once she calmed down, "You'd be afraid of doing what you must do. You'd be worried about how I could take it. You'd worry I wouldn't love you anymore."

"What does this mean?" Khan questioned.

"It means," Monica sobbed. "I must do the only thing I can do at this point. I'm not worthy of being at your side anymore, but I'll never let that weigh you down."

"Monica," Khan called, stepping forward to seize Monica's wrists. Her eyes trembled in sadness and sorrow while she looked at him. She didn't want to say those words, but her love for Khan demanded it. Even if he couldn't see that yet, Monica knew her decision was for his own good.

"I'm leaving you, Khan," Monica revealed. "I love you more than anything in the world, so I must leave you. You won't be able to save yourself otherwise."