COTE: Expelliarmis… Wait, Why Isn’t It Working?! (MTL)

The Born of Unlucky Mage 

When I was born, it should have been a glorious moment. A magical genius was born, with enough power to change the world. At least, that was what my parents hoped for...

But the reality was far from it.

During the magical connection ceremony, where the god of magic directly blessed and named me, things did not go as expected.

As the magical light radiated from the summoning circle, the god of magic appeared with a... displeased expression.

Along with that, the strong smell of alcohol filled the room. He staggered a bit, his eyes hazy as if he had just come out of a party that had lasted all night. He glanced at me, frowned, and sighed in disappointment.

"This child... is really your child?" The god of magic asked my parents, his eyes filled with doubt.

My father, Kuzunoha Renji – a famous magic researcher in the Magic Council – immediately let out a wry laugh, his eyelids twitching repeatedly as he replied.

"Of course! He might be a little... slow-witted, but that's because when he was in his mother's womb, he accidentally absorbed some of the chaotic energy from a failed experiment of mine. I believe that given time, he'll soon reveal his talent!"

My mother quickly chimed in. "That's right! You must be mistaken."

The magic god looked at me again, then shook his head slightly. "I've never seen a soul with such a weak magical connection..."

Silence fell.

Despite that criticism, my parents did not give up. But the magic god cleared his throat, smiled slyly, and said,

"Cough cough, I say... You guys know the rules, right? There are things in this world that only happen when there is a little bit of the right 'motivation'... and you guys understand what I mean, right? Inflation is very high, you guys, now everything needs money, even gods are no exception!"

My father's expression immediately darkened like the bottom of a pot. He took a deep breath, tried to calm down, and then asked in a harsh voice, "So what do you want?"

The magic god rubbed his chin, his eyes flashing with greed.

"Ah, no no, those things are too trivial. I am a god of high taste, only liking very special things..." He paused for a moment, then glanced at my father meaningfully.

"For example... 100 magic gold coins?"

After a moment of reluctance, he finally took out a large bag of gold, placing it in the magic god's hand with a dark expression.

The magic god smiled with satisfaction, but his hand was still open and not closed. He slowly rubbed his thumb and index finger together meaningfully, as if to say: "This is not enough, there is more."

My father's expression darkened even more, and his forehead began to bulge. He clenched his fists, taking a deep breath to control his anger.

His lips twitched as if he wanted to say something but tried to swallow it.

Finally, with a look of resignation and extreme bitterness, he gritted his teeth and took out another 50 gold coins, dropping them into the magic god's hand as if each gold coin was a stab to his self-esteem.

The result? The magic god, in a drunken state, staggered to perform the magic connection ritual for me... with extreme reluctance, perhaps because he was no longer sober enough to refuse.

Before falling backwards, he still had enough strength to wave his hand and smile:

"Prices are very expensive now, you have to understand me. The taxes on the gods are constantly increasing, and inflation is also much more expensive than before! The gods also have to know how to manage!"

Before disappearing, he managed to pull out a rolled up piece of paper, patted it lightly on his palm, and threw it to my parents.

"Oh wait, I almost forgot. You guys sign here first. This is a waiver, ensuring that I won't be held responsible if this brat causes any disaster in the future. Just call it... a small formality."

My father looked at the paper, the veins on his forehead becoming more prominent. He gritted his teeth, holding the pen with a trembling hand, as if every stroke of ink on this piece of paper was draining a part of his life force.

Finally, he signed it, looking as if he had just sold his soul to the devil, or worse - applied for a high-interest loan from a gang of gangsters.

The magic god was satisfied, tucked the paper into his shirt, and laughed heartily.

"Alright, that's it. Remember, if there's a fire or any natural disaster in the future, don't call my name, I don't know anything! Call those other gods, I'm going back to sleep!" Hahahahaha" - as soon as he finished speaking, his eyelids twitched as if he had seen a troubled future.

My father looked at the scene before him, his mouth moving as if he wanted to say something, but in the end he could only gape without uttering a word.

His face turned pale, his forehead twitched as if he had just been splashed with cold water. After a long while, he squinted, looked towards the empty space where the magic god had just disappeared, and muttered bitterly:

"Damn god... I hope you have bad luck with that gold! I hope you accidentally drop it all down the drain and never get it back! May every holy restaurant double its price every time you visit!"

Then he took a deep breath, clenched his fists, and hissed softly: "One day, I will get my money back, with profit."

And that is how I – a "mage apprentice" with a 40% chance of failing in my spells – was born. It couldn't have been a worse start...

"A Thousand Times Failed" Magician Kuzunoha

My father, Kuzunoha Renji, was a researcher at the Magic Development Bureau, which specialized in researching practical magic and magical items for everyday use.

It sounds grand, but in reality, his reputation was pretty bad because most of his experiments ended in explosions or were banned for being too dangerous... or too useless.

He was famous not only for his failed magical inventions, but also for his handsome looks and his eloquence.

Despite his somewhat "dubious" scientific reputation, he was a master at flirting with ladies. Many people even rumored that if he hadn't been a researcher, he could have become a wandering artist.

My mother, Himemiya Reika, on the other hand, was not a researcher but a witch aristocrat who used to live a lavish life but gave it all up to marry my father.

She was a stunningly beautiful woman, with long, flowing hair like a magical stream, and sharp yet seductive eyes that mesmerized anyone who looked at her.

Everyone in the family used to say that she was "the brightest gem of the nobility", but she abandoned all that glamour to follow a man who specialized in inventing failed magic. A decision... that she probably still claims to be "destined by fate".

That decision shocked her family so much that they broke off their relationship. My mother had a rather peculiar habit: she never admitted her mistake, even when everything was too obvious.

If a spell failed, it was never her fault, but... "bad luck" or "the spell wasn't destined to succeed". That's what the boys would say to her.

According to my father, he and my mother didn't give me this name because it sounded cool or had any profound meaning. He chose this name Kuzunoha Kazuki after the magic god completed the magic connection ceremony for me.

It seems that this name has unintentionally become a reminder of something painful in their past as if to say "Stop it!"

...

In my world, only after graduating from high school can one be considered an official magician. There are 5 levels of learning for magicians:

Level 1 magician school -> level 2 magician school -> level 3 magician school

-> Advanced magician academy -> Magic research institute.

The academic ranks and titles of magicians are as follows:

Apprentice magician - From the beginning of primary school to the end of high school. (not graduated from high school)

Level 1 magician - Graduated from high school magician school.

Level 2 magician - Graduated from advanced magician academy.

Level 3 magician - Passed the evaluation exam of the magic research institute.

Level 4 magician - If you are even stronger and have contributed a lot to society.

But there is a big problem: "My talent is too bad".

Since I was young, I had to work hard to prove that I could become a great magician, despite the possibility of failing magic up to 40%.

Because every time my father looked at me, I saw him looking pitiful, his face as if remembering something bitter every time I cast magic.

Every time I cast magic, I always had to prepare myself for the unpredictable consequences.

Time passed, and I finally reached the age of going to school, I attended the Tenshou 1st-class magic school - one of the most prestigious schools for young magicians.

Normally, with my miserable magical achievements, I would not be able to set foot in this place. But thanks to the power of my mother, a powerful witch aristocrat, I was given special admission.

It seemed that the teachers here were not happy with this decision, but no one dared to oppose a request from Himemiya Reika. But thanks to the power of my mother, a famous aristocrat, I was given special admission... despite the fact that the teachers would probably regret this decision for the rest of their lives.

When the day of my enrollment arrived, my parents reacted in a way... unlike normal parents. They cried with emotion, and also told me to study hard.

My father, Kuzunoha Renji, then laughed so happily that I could have sworn he had fireworks ready to celebrate.

"Finally! After all these years of suffering, this brat is entering school! No more headaches teaching him magic!"

He stretched his shoulders comfortably, as if a thousand-pound burden had been lifted off his shoulders.

My mother, Himemiya Reika, crossed her arms, glaring at my father.

"You sound so easy on me, don't you? Weren't you the one who stuffed his head with useless magic that no one uses?! Don't think I don't know about you teaching him to summon a roast chicken instead of a guardian animal!"

My father immediately retorted, "Oh, really? At least I taught him something! What about you? You're a noble wizard, and yet he can't even teach you the most basic magic! You should have taught him seriously!"

The two of them started arguing back and forth, but after a while of fierce bickering, they stopped, looked at each other for a while, and then said in unison,

"Anyway... we're finally free to stay home!"

They clapped their hands in celebration as if I was a burden that had been removed. Looking at the scene before me, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

My father, who was still excited, suddenly turned to my mother with a sly smile. "Reika, we're finally free to stay home."

My mother raised her eyebrows, but before she could react, my father hugged her, lifting her up like a trophy. "What are you waiting for, let's enjoy it!"

"What are you doing—! Put me down, Renji!" My mother shouted, but the corners of her lips curled up in amusement. The way she leaned her head against my father's shoulder for a moment, and the strange sparkle in her eyes, made me realize that… she wasn't exactly protesting."

"No way! Let me make up for the sleepless nights I spent teaching that kid magic!"

Leaving me standing there with a deeply wounded heart, my father carried my mother straight into the house, the door slamming shut in my face. But before leaving, they did not forget to turn around and shout:

"Hurry up and go to school, Kazuki!!"

I sighed, looking up at the sky as if wondering: "Am I really the biological child of these two people...?"

...

One morning, during magic practice at the 1st-level magic school, I tried to use magic to summon a small cat according to the teacher's instructions. I squinted my eyes, took a deep breath, and told myself: "This time it will definitely succeed!"

"Result? A roasted chicken fell from the sky."

I refused to accept the result and tried again and again.

The second time, I focused and recited the incantation carefully. But instead of summoning a cat, I summoned... a hot pot of mixed vegetables.

The third time I recited the incantation. I summoned a watermelon and a salad...

"Oh my god, are you sure you're not the son of the god of food?" a classmate laughed out loud.

The aroma of food wafted through the classroom.

"That's great, Kazuki! We're having a buffet!" a classmate exclaimed.

For the fourth time, I took a deep breath and tried to summon the cat.

Instead, a giant cake appeared in front of me. The soft buttercream oozed out, making the whole class laugh.

"Wow, Kazuki, you're such a good chef!" another classmate said.

For the fifth time, I summoned the cat. The result was a pile of fresh sushi on the teacher's desk.

"Oh my, Kazuki, you can open a restaurant!" another classmate teased.

"Okay, Kazuki, stop," the teacher said, trying to stay calm. "You're not in a cooking class."

The teacher tried to regain her composure, but it was obvious that she had been betrayed by her own teaching career.

Her eyes were filled with confusion, as if she was wondering if she had taught the lesson wrong. 'No way... I taught it so clearly... how did it turn out like this?!'

"Kazuki, you need to concentrate more and control your magic."

I blushed, trying to stay calm and practiced the summoning magic one last time. This time, I summoned... a pair of bright red panties.

"Okay, okay, looks like I should stop here," I muttered, as the class laughed.

But at that moment, I realized something horrifying – I had just summoned a pair of bright red panties in the middle of the classroom. The class was silent for a few seconds, before they burst into laughter.

"The pinnacle of magic! Summoning underwear from another dimension!" a classmate shouted.

I was still bewildered, not understanding what was happening, when suddenly, a terrible murderous aura radiated from the teacher.

Her face was red, her eyes twitched repeatedly, her forehead veins popped out, and the corners of her mouth twitched as if she was trying to suppress something very great. Her hand clenched the chalk as if she wanted to crush it.

"Kuzunoha Kazuki! Is this your magic?!"

"Wh... what?" I stuttered, looking around for help. "I didn't do anything, I was just testing the summoning magic?!"

"Testing the summoning magic?!" the teacher growled, her lips twitching as if she was struggling between shouting and maintaining her image. "THAT'S WHY IS SOMEONE'S UNDERWEAR IN HERE?!"

One of the classmates laughed the loudest and said, "Wow, Kazuki, you really have special magic!"

I was even more panicked. "Whose... what do you mean?" I turned to my classmates, but everyone bowed their heads, holding back their laughter until they were shaking.

"I'll let you off this time, but if you summon anything else, I'll invite your father to see me!"

The teacher shouted, yanking the panties and stuffing them into her robe pocket as if to get rid of the evidence.

'Why did this happen to me? No, no, calm down! No one is allowed to know about this!'. The teacher thought to herself.

I could only bow my head. I didn't understand why I was being scolded, but it seemed like it was best to keep quiet this time.

The whole class was silent for three seconds, then exploded into a burst of intense laughter. But in contrast to the laughter of the whole class, the teacher just stood still, her hand gripping the chalk so tightly that it cracked.

She took a deep breath, as if telling herself that school violence was illegal. A classmate shouted,

"I forgive you this time, but don't make the same mistake again or I'll invite your father to see me!"

"Yes, teacher," I bowed my head, feeling ashamed and determined to improve my skills. However, these funny and awkward situations kept happening.

But I didn't give up. I knew that as long as I persevered and kept learning, I would have a chance to change my fate.

In the next practice session, I was asked to turn water into ice. The teacher looked at me warily, her eyes flashing with confusion as if she had just remembered the nightmare when I summoned panties.

'Kazuki, this time... please don't create anything strange, okay?'. The teacher thought to herself.

"Be careful, Kazuki, don't create anything strange again," the teacher warned.

But as soon as I started chanting the incantation, the class was ready for the unexpected.

"Let's pray that Kazuki doesn't turn the classroom into an ice skating rink," one of the students joked.

And as expected, instead of creating ice, I created... a giant pile of something gooey and gooey, causing the class to fall into an awkward silence.

The class froze. One of the students muttered, "Oh my god, did you just create... a liquid monster?!"

After a moment of regaining composure, the class burst into laughter, and the teacher held her head, her eyes lifeless as if wondering why her life had led to this.

She sighed heavily and said,

"Kazuki, you really have talent... but unfortunately it's not within the scope of normal magic. Are you sure you don't want to switch to culinary?"

"Special... talent?" I muttered, trying to wipe the sticky liquid off my face. "Maybe I should try being a chef instead of a mage..."