Dancing on the golden ashes

I walked the path toward the unknown, my steps slow and heavy as days seemed to blend together. Time drifted by, and no matter how far I traveled, my body refused to fully recover. The wounds I carried still throbbed faintly beneath my skin, and although the pain had dulled over time, it remained a constant reminder that I was far from healed. My body had mended only slightly, barely enough to keep me moving, yet every attempt to circulate my soul power ended the same way. Each time I tried, sharp pain surged through my chest, burning fiercely as if molten iron had replaced my blood. It left me gasping for breath, clutching my ribs as though my heart might burst. And so, a year passed. Sometimes I walked for hours, dragging my battered body along winding trails and across endless plains. Other times, my wings would carry me wherever the wind decided to take me, leaving me stranded in places I had never seen before. This world seemed vast and unpredictable, yet no matter where I ended up, I always found something that reminded me of how beautiful and mysterious this place truly was. To be honest, I loved this world. Everywhere I went, I was greeted by something new, something that surprised me in ways I never expected. Just the other day, I came across a massive hamster, easily fifty or sixty meters tall, rolling across the land like a mountain of fur. It was oddly adorable, and I knew that if I still had my system abilities, I would have captured it for my beast collection without hesitation. What a pity. About a month ago, the sky had lit up with vivid green and pink lights. Beams of color streaked across the heavens before crashing down like falling stars. They didn't cause any damage, nor did they seem to serve any purpose. It was nothing more than a visual display, yet it captivated me. For the first time in what felt like forever, I forgot about my pain as I stood beneath that sky, watching the colors dance in silence. Perhaps I had been too strong before. I had been so focused on growing stronger that I had stopped paying attention to the world itself. I spent so much time desperately searching for demigod beasts to slay, hoping to claim their cores and rush toward my goal of reviving my fallen comrades. I had been so obsessed with that goal that I had forgotten to stop and see the world for what it was. And now, I no longer knew how much time I had left. The other me, the one I used to call the eerie entity, had vanished. She was no longer dependent on my lifespan to survive. I could not tell if that meant I had more time or less. She had drained so much of my energy during our final battle, using both her strength and mine to strike down the Creator's clone. I had no idea how much life that had cost me. I didn't know what to think anymore. All I could do was accept it and keep moving forward. There was no choice but to walk this new path, a path filled with questions and uncertainty. I eventually found shelter in a cold and empty cave. The air inside was stale, and the faint whisper of wind crept through the cracks in the stone. Ignoring the discomfort, I sat cross-legged on the hard floor and focused everything I had on circulating my soul power. I knew I had to recover, and this was the only way I knew how. But nothing happened. The energy inside me refused to move, lingering like a dying ember that no longer remembered how to burn. No matter how hard I tried, it remained still. Pain surged through my chest once again, sharp and overwhelming, leaving me breathless and weak. I leaned back against the cold stone wall, letting my head rest against it as exhaustion wrapped around me like a heavy blanket. I stared blankly into the darkness, unsure of what else I could do, and simply waited for something to change. Time passed again and again, stretching on endlessly until I could no longer tell the difference between days and nights. The silence that once lingered had grown heavier, pressing down on me until it felt like a constant whisper against my skin. It wasn't long before I started to feel like I was losing my mind... And then, the voices began. "Gaon..." Malrang's voice drifted into my ears, soft yet unmistakable. My heart lurched, hammering painfully in my chest as if it had been yanked from its place. I spun around, searching frantically, my eyes darting from shadow to shadow in the hope that I might see her — just a glimpse, just one flicker of her familiar presence. Yet no matter how desperately I looked, she was nowhere to be found. I stumbled out of the cave, my breath uneven as I staggered forward. I didn't know where I was going, only that I had to keep moving, away from that voice, away from whatever madness had begun to gnaw at my mind. Before I knew it, I found myself standing in the middle of a field filled with crimson flowers. Each one stood tall, their petals glistening under the light as if they had been dipped in fresh blood. The air was thick with the sharp, metallic scent of iron, so strong that it clung to the back of my throat, making me gag. I wanted to run, to escape this place, yet the voices only grew louder, echoing inside my head until they became unbearable. "You left us to die..." Seong-hoon's voice struck me like a hammer from the heavens, each word crushing me beneath its weight. "No... no... he would never say that..." My voice broke, and tears blurred my vision as I shook my head furiously. My chest felt tight, as though the air itself had turned solid, crushing the breath from my lungs. "We trusted you..." Eun-woo's voice came next, filled with a rage so raw that my body trembled uncontrollably. My legs buckled beneath me, and I collapsed into the field of crimson flowers. Their sharp petals pressed against my skin like blades, slicing shallow cuts across my arms and legs. I felt them tear into my wings and tail as well, their edges scraping through flesh as if they had been forged from razors. Blood pooled beneath me, warm and sticky as it seeped into the earth. The pain barely registered, it was nothing compared to the ache that bloomed deep inside my chest. "I'm sorry..." My voice quivered, barely louder than a whisper. I felt so weak, too weak to fight back against the voices or the guilt that twisted inside me like a cruel parasite. Perhaps this was what I deserved. "It hurts big sister Gaon... that monster is so scary..." Jieun's voice followed next, soft yet trembling with fear. Her words pierced through me like a jagged blade, cutting straight into my heart. My chest tightened painfully, and for a moment, I swore it might burst into a million tiny shards — each one sharp enough to tear me apart from the inside. "Why... why are you blaming me? I... I-!" I wanted to scream that I had been dead at the time, that I couldn't have done anything, that it wasn't my fault — but before I could speak, the guilt swelled again, swallowing me whole. The words died in my throat, choked out by the suffocating weight of everything I had failed to do. "Empress... why did you abandon us and the empire..." Min-jeong's face appeared in my mind, her gentle smile replaced with a look of quiet disappointment. She had trusted me more than anyone, had believed in me when others had doubted, and yet I had left her behind. "Sorry..." The word escaped me in a breathless sob, my voice shaking as I clutched my head. The pain in my skull pulsed violently, as though my thoughts had become a storm of fire and glass, slashing through my mind with every memory that resurfaced. I lay there in the crimson field, my body trembling beneath the weight of it all. The voices refused to stop, and no matter how tightly I held my head, no matter how hard I cried, they just kept echoing... endlessly reminding me of everything I had lost.