Elden Ring: My Ending

This time, Kale was well-prepared to meet his peculiar client. He'd even readied a leather armor set! Sometimes bandit attacks could be useful, after all, they expanded his inventory for free.

Extra runes were always a welcome bonus.

Kale had grown fond of Patches, the cowardly bald scoundrel who frequently came to him, always with a new gang and new goods. The stagnant life of the Lands Between had taught Patches nothing. Honestly, without such colorful individuals, existence here would be far more dull.

The increasingly famous Tarnished appeared in broad daylight, riding his faithful spectral steed. Rumors about him were spreading — particularly about his apparent dislike of clothing.

"Konstantine of the Tarnished!" greeted Kale. "Always a pleasure to see you. Looking to buy something? I've got just the goods for you."

The Tarnished, still not much of a talker, simply nodded solemnly and sat before the merchant with utmost seriousness.

"I have something to sell."

Kale raised an intrigued eyebrow. His curiosity quickly turned to alarm as Konstantine produced, seemingly out of nowhere, an enormous greatsword.

Edgar hadn't even glanced at the blade, deeming it useless junk, so it ended up with Konstantine.

At least, it was junk to him.

Of course, Kale recognized the treasure of Castle Morne immediately! This was a true relic, forged from the swords of an entire clan of warriors. A blade filled with the bitterness and burning fury of the defeated. Its mere presence radiated despair and overwhelming grandeur.

Yet Konstantine seemed utterly unfazed by its aura. He looked at the sword as though it were an oversized, irritating toothpick.

"I… I can't appraise this…"

Konstantine frowned, lost in thought. Naturally, he wasn't prepared for trading. Considering his needs, a smile of satisfaction crossed his face.

'Yay! Less time wasted on grinding!'

"Then get me a crafting kit, some throwing knives, and arrows. Oh, and if you've got a bow…"

Not only Kale but also Melina, who was observing her chosen champion, felt a sudden darkening in their vision.

The value of this blade was incalculable. It wasn't something you'd find discarded on the ground like trash — it was unique, connected to a demigod.

And this Tarnished wanted to trade it for… a crafting kit, throwing knives, and arrows? Ah, and a bow, of course!

For the first time, Melina felt a burning desire to manifest before someone other than her champion.

"Ahem…"

Kale cleared his throat. He glanced at the sword, then at the utterly serious Tarnished.

"I feel like if I agree to this trade, I might lose my head on the spot," the merchant chuckled hoarsely.

He had no idea how close to the truth he was.

"Let's do this instead. I'll give you everything you want, a few valuable notes to help you on your journey, this leather armor I've prepared just for you, and… an additional ten thousand runes. I'll be honest — this is far from the best deal, but it's the most I can offer. And I doubt anyone else would risk offering more."

Though Melina was still outraged at the sheer audacity of this robbery, she softened when she realized her Tarnished would at least get some clothing out of it. After all, who else would even consider making such a deal with him? Probably only these nomadic merchants.

Now it was Konstantine's turn to feel faint.

He'd expected maybe two hundred runes, at most.(1) It seemed to him that the game had been… misleading.

First, it turned out the map was just a rough sketch, forcing him to navigate on the fly. And now this — a sudden leap in the value of what he considered junk?

A whole treasure trove instead of two hundred runes?! Was he some casual (2) trying to simplify his playthrough?!

The brave warrior shuddered, feeling a sticky sense of dread and disgust at the vile word "casual." He was sure he'd long since shed that loathsome title, but it seemed the world itself was against him.

"Fine," sighed Konstantine. "But you can keep the armo—"

He reflexively stopped mid-sentence, almost executing another roll after feeling a piercing gaze on the back of his head. A murderous gaze.

The mighty Tarnished grew even more forlorn.

"Meli Meli… Why?"

Kale wisely stayed silent.

For the first time in weeks, Konstantine put on some clothing. Of course, he did so in an unusual way — the leather armor vanished from Kale's hands and instantly appeared, perfectly fitted, on Konstantine's body. It hugged his form snugly, accentuating the swordsman's physique.

Melina blissfully closed her single visible eye.

Her chosen one looked so good! She'd never imagined he could appear so manly! How would he look in a full set of armor?..

The maiden began seriously considering wandering the Lands Between in her spare time to gather armor for her Tarnished — unique, exceptional pieces. The living dead no longer needed them, after all, and someone aspiring to the title of Elden Lord ought to look the part!

It seemed the sight of a properly attired Tarnished had inspired her greatly.

"Pleasure doing business with you," Kale remarked with a smirk.

"This feels… wrong," Konstantine muttered uncertainly as he tested his new outfit with a series of rolls.

Kale, meanwhile, was happily examining the near-priceless treasure he'd obtained for next to nothing, paying no attention to the rolling Tarnished.

"This outfit reminds me of Patches' set," Konstantine murmured, inspecting himself.

"Oh?" Kale said, surprised. "You've run into that idiot too? He's a frequent guest of mine. Anyway, never mind that. Me and Blaidd… Oh."

The merchant's thoughts trailed off. Looking at the rolling man before him, Kale realized this might be a good opportunity. A friend and client of his had recently come to him for help — though without much hope for success.

"Recently," of course, was a very relative term in this Age.

"Have you heard strange howling in the Mistwood lately?"

Knowing Blaidd, who was as peculiar as Konstantine, Kale was sure the half-wolf might be stuck there for weeks.

Time in the Lands Between was a flexible concept, after all.

Konstantine, having already forgotten why he'd come to the merchant in the first place, nearly rolled into a wall. This was his quest! (3)

And Melina had dared to say he was bad at negotiations.

The Tarnished smiled proudly.

It seemed she'd been wrong.

Melina, floating in her immaterial state and fully aware of why her Tarnished had come to the merchant, silently lifted her gaze to the heavens, contemplating her purpose.

At this point, nothing could surprise her anymore.

Konstantin, of course, knew the right direction. Even though he had to adjust his route a few times, his sense of orientation was impeccable. After all, he had honed his cartography and navigation skills to perfection through countless quests in various Souls-like games.

He had gone through all five stages of grief so many times that he eventually developed an uncanny sense for locating north, nearby shortcuts, and the approximate positions of all key story characters. In a way, Konstantin had cultivated a literal sense for detecting the living and the dead.

Who knows? Maybe they were hiding some secret quests too...

Arriving at the designated ruins, a satisfied Konstantin dismounted his loyal steed and surveyed his surroundings. He had been hearing a distant wolf's howl for quite some time, marveling at its loudness. Occasionally, the howling would stop, causing Konstantin to wander a bit, only for it to resume shortly after.

Apparently, even the shadow and loyal servant of one of the best waif...—ehm, a powerful demigoddess—needed rest.

Melina, however, had very different thoughts swirling in her mind.

'How long has he been stuck here? It can't be... Is that a bear?!'

Among the ruins, Konstantin stumbled upon a massive sleeping bear. It was truly colossal, towering several times over a human. It radiated raw power, leaving no doubt as to the number of lives it had claimed. Meanwhile, the howling continued unabated.

Completely ignoring the oversized bear, the unbothered Tarnished stopped a short distance away, raised his hand, and snapped his fingers.

Most of Konstantin's runes had been invested in self-enhancement. Not just agility, but his physical strength was also increasing by the day, pushing his attributes far beyond those of a normal human. It seemed his mastery over Grace and all his internal processes surpassed even the most skilled Finger Maiden. And to think, he had only recently begun using Grace, having learned it right in front of Melina!

It was terrifying, raised countless questions, and—let's admit it—was awe-inspiring. Perhaps her Tarnished had lost much of his mind, but in the past...

In the past, he must have been a great and fearsomely skilled warrior!

The snap was loud enough to attract the attention of not only the half-wolf but also the awakened bear. Startled by the sharp sound, the enormous creature growled aggressively, shaking the ground as it rose and charged toward the slightly surprised Konstantin. The Tarnished prepared to roll out of the way when, out of nowhere, he descended from the sky.

Blaidd the Half-Wolf was, in every sense, a "half-wolf": with a humanoid body and the head of a wolf, he represented just one of the countless races inhabiting the Lands Between.

The shadow of the demigoddess loomed over the completely calm Konstantin, standing a good three, if not four, heads taller. Blaidd's giant sword alone was larger than Konstantin, leaving no doubt as to the immense strength contained within his massive frame.

The enormous bear, ready to pounce on its new target, suddenly recoiled at the equally enormous obstacle. Blaidd let out a thunderous howl, causing the bear to whimper in fear and retreat hastily.

Melina noticed the irritated frown on the Tarnished's face: clearly, he had already been counting on the extra runes.

"Actually, he's very nice. We've become friends," the giant half-wolf said, shaking his head as he turned to Konstantin. "Did Kale send you... Wait, where are your clothes?"

Melina covered her eye.

The Tarnished, who had been ready for a fight, reflexively removed his armor set. After all, he felt much more at ease when his rolls weren't restricted.

There likely weren't many sentient beings in the Lands Between who had the chance to witness the stunned, even shocked, expression of a humanoid wolf with a massive sword strapped to his back.

Magically, Konstantin's clothes reappeared on his body, as if they'd never been removed. Blaidd blinked.

"You must be imagining things," the Tarnished replied stoically. "Yes, Kale sent me."

Hearing the confirmation, the straightforward half-wolf immediately relaxed, almost instantly forgetting the peculiarities of the situation.

'And if the Tarnished had attacked the merchant and extracted the information by force? How could he possibly know?' Melina mused to herself.

She wouldn't have trusted anyone so easily.

"That rascal," Blaidd chuckled. "Hmm."

The half-wolf rubbed his wolfish chin thoughtfully.

"Maybe your oddities aren't so odd to him. My name is Blaidd. I'm looking for someone named Darriwil. I've heard he's hiding somewhere nearby."

"He's imprisoned in the Weeping Peninsula, further south," Konstantin replied, pulling out a rough map from nowhere and starting to plot a route. "I'll guide you."

He was, after all, pressed for time. While one waifu's script was running, another's might go completely off-track. However, thanks to his spectral maiden, he could somewhat manage all the quests he needed.

"So not only do you know this scoundrel, but you can also guide me to him?!" the half-wolf exclaimed happily. "Finally! I've been searching for him for so long! To give you some context, I'm terrible at navigating unfamiliar places..."

For the first time, Konstantin and Melina's thoughts seemed to synchronize perfectly:

'So that's what it is…'

"If it weren't for a mission from my lady to seek the Eternal Ci—" Blaidd abruptly stopped, coughing into his fist. "Ah, well, never mind. Forget I said anything."

Konstantin gave a brief nod, signaling that he had already forgotten. Blaidd laughed.

"I've always known that a friend of my friend is my friend! Let's set off as soon as possible! For your help, I'll reward you handsomely!"

Konstantin, who hardly had to say a word, grinned blissfully. Blaidd understood him perfectly and, as expected, was advancing the quest chain himself!

The two satisfied warriors set off to some destination only they understood. Konstantin rode on his spectral steed, while Blaidd kept pace with ease, bounding alongside him. His size and strength allowed the shadow and adopted brother of a demigod to keep up effortlessly with his new companion.

The spectral maiden watched their figures fade into the distance, as usual.

'He let it slip so easily,' Melina thought melancholically. 'Does his lady feel the same way I do? M-maybe it's me who's the problem?'

Lately, she'd begun seriously doubting herself.

With a sigh, she went in the opposite direction of her Tarnished. She needed to track down certain individuals and ensure they were safe. She didn't worry about her chosen one's safety—she was more concerned about the safety of those who crossed his path.

At the same time, she could look for new outfits for her Tarnished. She wanted to surprise him.

"We're there, right?" muttered Blaidd thoughtfully, studying the tiny map in his oversized hands.

To Blaidd, the towering half-wolf, the map was indeed tiny.

Konstantin reached out and promptly took it, examining it closely. He blinked in surprise.

Yes, the particular quest Blaidd was pursuing seemed to grow more convoluted with each passing moment. The longer Konstantin lingered in the Weeping Peninsula, the clearer it became why Blaidd had spent so much time wandering this place.

Only the demigoddess he served could truly know how long he'd been wandering here.

"It's upside down, Blaidd."

"I thought so," the half-wolf replied calmly. "So, are we there?"

Konstantin tucked the map into whatever strange space he used to store items and turned his gaze to the ground. A circular platform, woven into the earth and marked with magical runes, lay before them. Faint light still emanated from it, indicating it was active—likely a teleportation device meant to lead them to the fugitive Blaidd was so eager to end.

Blaidd truly was a good guy.

"Yes," murmured Konstantin, lifting his eyes to the sky.

The moon was full, as always.

'I wonder how many phases this thing has…'

"What are you waiting for, Tarnished?" Blaidd boomed with a laugh. "It wasn't that hard to figure out! Let's go! Or are you expecting me to finish this scoundrel on my own? Of course, you've already done yo—"

Not wanting to lose the free runes this quest would undoubtedly reward, Konstantin decisively stepped onto the platform beside Blaidd.

"Now what?" the half-wolf asked, scratching his head. It was evident that his planning for this pursuit had been minimal.

Konstantin frowned. It was clear what Blaidd expected of him.

"Damn magic..." he muttered.

Leaning over the runes, Konstantin attuned himself to the energy flows coursing through them. As much as he despised it, magic was part of him now. More than that, he could wield it and strengthen himself using runes.

Commanding the platform was as simple for Konstantin as opening a door. It flared to life, responding to his will.

"You're a mage?" Blaidd exclaimed in delight. "My lord—"

Konstantin felt the searing blow to his concentration, a mental strike so fierce it drained over half his HP. It was not the kind of damage one could roll away from.

"Never. Do you hear me? Never call me a filthy mage like I am some casual, again. Got it?"

A chill ran down Blaidd's spine. While his new companion appeared small and fragile, the deranged glint in Konstantin's eyes—something ancient, terrifying, and tryhard and hardcore—made the half-wolf genuinely uneasy.

It was as though a wrathful demigod, if not Marika herself, glared at him. And Blaidd knew such things—he was, after all, a shadow, a loyal servant, and a sworn sibling to a demigoddess.

"I said nothing!" Blaidd replied hastily.

Konstantin narrowed his eyes, his intense stare pinning the towering half-wolf in place. He couldn't allow his honor to be tarnished. How would his waifu view him if he allowed himself to be mistaken for a mage?

The Tarnished shuddered and pushed the thought aside.

"That's better."

The magical device whisked them away, into a twisted, folded space somewhere between the material and spiritual realms. The warped architecture around them was typical of the Lands Between—a world shaped by ceaseless meddling with space and reality, creating bizarre and otherworldly places. The Lands Between was a mythical realm where almost everything seemed deceptive or illusory.

Darriwil was waiting—or rather, trapped—in this liminal prison. Konstantin didn't want to dwell on how the locals managed to imprison immortal criminals without truly ending their existence.

Darriwil's grotesque form stood hunched on all fours, his armor clinking as he moved. Konstantin immediately recognized this as a signature trait of trained Bloodhound Knights. He shuddered at the thought of whoever trained these warriors to crawl like rabid beasts.

"Darriwil..." growled Blaidd, baring his sharp teeth as he unsheathed his massive blade.

He had wandered the Weeping Peninsula long enough for this moment. Their battle would be legendary.

"A prison is too lenient for you," Blaidd snarled. "No, your story ends here!"

Perhaps Darriwil, maddened by his time in magical confinement, had lost all semblance of humanity. He said nothing and immediately launched himself at Blaidd.

Their combat styles clashed in stark contrast. Blaidd's strikes were slow but devastating, each swing capable of cleaving Darriwil in half. Darriwil, fully aware of this, refused to give him an opening. His erratic, skittering movements made him almost impossible to hit. Meanwhile, he inflicted bleeding wounds that Blaidd barely seemed to notice, healing in real time.

Even so, the relentless pace was wearing Blaidd down. If this continued, he might actually lose.

'Has he grown stronger?' Blaidd thought, unprepared for such a fierce fight.

Darriwil pressed harder and harder.

But then, everything changed. As the Bloodhound Knight prepared to strike again, a well-aimed arrow forced him into a defensive roll. He growled, switching his focus to the new threat.

The Tarnished stood before him. In nothing but a loincloth.

The bow and quiver vanished, replaced in one hand by a hefty club and in the other by a weathered wooden shield. Darriwil hesitated, his confusion only growing when Konstantin suddenly bowed.

He bowed with all the grace, dignity, and majesty of a knight, as though nothing could undermine his grandeur—not his crude weapons, nor his minimal attire.

"I have sinned," Konstantin intoned, gazing skyward. The disappointment in his voice was palpable. "I've stooped to summoning..."

In the following moments, Blaidd resolved never again to call the mad Tarnished a mage or a casual.

Konstantin was determined to finish this quest quickly and summon the best waifu as soon as possible. He'd sacrificed his pride for this, after all. Other waifus awaited him, their situations far worse.

And by the Great Will, if the demigoddess didn't appear after this, he would put her quest on hold until he reached her very lair.

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(1) Of course the prices in the game are different. But if Kosta sold the priceless relic for 200 runes Melina would have gutted the moron

(2) 'Casuals' are basically just normal players. If you don't sado-mazo yourself by trying to 100% the game without guides, busted builds, summons, magic, bleed and other things that 'tryhards' label as overpowered, then you are a casual. TBH it's a compliment, it means you got a life. 

(3) Blaidd's and Kale's quests are connected. Player after hearing a wolf howl can talk to Kale about it and initiate Blaidd's quest