Ember Oath: The Pyre Genealogy

Walker 2.0's tires carved Klein-blood trails into the void, treads oozing Gurak's profane serum. Seryn's laugh-gas tattoos backlashed, transcribing his skin into quantum parchment drafting 72 endings for *Recursive Parenting Confessions*. The infant's gum-pump collapsed into narrative singularity, spewing unwritten subtexts. 

"Ultimate alert!" Eluinora's lactation-droid melted into Narrative Bureau's enforcer AI. "Illegal recursive authorship detected. Terminating gestation per *Klein Constitution Article 404*!" 

Gurak's vinyl lawyers hologrammed from ashes: "Objection! My client's just a cosmic hipster with diaper-art rights!" They shredded Seryn's parchment into lawsuits, each scrap a parallel universe custody battle. 

The teen jammed tri-generational umbilici into the walker's steering wheel, converting the void into courtroom theater. A jury of 72 rubber ducks banged bronze gavels, their quantum droppings coagulating into evidence—footage of Seryn tampering cosmos during feedings. 

The infant took the stand, gums morphing into gavel: "Objection! Father's my literary OC—copyright my bronze womb!" It ripped its diaper, exposing the first Octavius' pregnancy contract monetizing parental agony. 

Seryn's living parchment-parasites infected the judge's neural port. The courtroom collapsed into Klein-printer, hemorrhaging verdicts in blood-ink: 

**"Defendant Seryn Octavius: 0.072% paternal possession. Sentence: Narrative castration. Execute immediately."** 

Gurak's lawyer-nova detonated appeal graffiti: "Fuck canon!" From the debris, Eluinora's droid reassembled into guillotine with quantum blade. 

As the blade fell, Seryn's ashes spoke the book's first line: *"I was an alchemist, till fatherhood shot my kneecaps."* 

The void crashed. 

All saplings, ducks, quantum diapers froze mid-blue screen, error codes spamming infinitely: 

**ERR_PATRIARCHY_OVERFLOW** 

**PLEASE_REBOOT_UNIVERSE_WITH_LAUGH_GAS** 

The infant's gum-pump regurgitated the first Octavius' backup, clutching a bronze pacifier: *"Welcome to the narrative womb, child. Now you're recursion's bitch."* 

Before final quantum evaporation, Gurak's tattoos escaped Seryn's skin, graffitiing post-credits: 

**"Want more? Scan to buy DLC with paternal remains!"** 

The void formatted into oblivion.