Fourteen Moons

I lay on my back, the soft sensation of fur embracing me. I place the back of my hand over my face and sigh. What I want… I glance over at the small, innocently sleeping fairy. Her moderately long silk-like hair brushes against her face. It’s such a simple question… So why is it that when she asks, it becomes so difficult to answer.

 

I know what I want, but using her to get it… There’s no guarantee that they’d even approve. They’d likely say I’m a good-for-nothing, or talk about how disappointed they are. I roll onto my side, facing the wall, and wipe my eyes. They could’ve at least told me to my face… but no. I extend my arm and punch the stone wall in front of me. They had to talk about me behind my back… Some parents you are…

 

“Urh,” I wince as I bite my lip and rub my sore hand. Stupid. You don’t deserve it. You had your chance and you blew it.

 

“If you’re going to cry,” Revus comments, his quiet voice barely reaching me, “Why punch the wall?”

 

“Because I’m frustrated,” I answer, sitting up. He is sitting at the table with skins and leaves spread out atop it. “Are you actually making another bag?”

 

“Sure,” He simply affirms, “After all.” He pauses and glances at me with his eyes, “You lost yours and your supplies. Whether you stay with us or not, its pretty idiotic to travel without any supplies.”

 

“I…” I open my mouth to debate his point but stop. No, he’s right. Losing my bag in the surge was careless. Even if I wasn’t captured, I’d have nothing. I guess there’s a chance I could find it but that’s about as likely as escaping that jar on my own…

 

I turn my head and look at Evetta. If she hadn’t gotten captured then there’s no way I would’ve been rescued. I’d still be in that jar and the enōōfen would bring me to… wherever.

 

“Hey…” I mutter as I get up and walk over to the table, “Thanks, for saving me.”

 

“It wasn’t you I was trying to save,” Revus flatly responds.

 

“I know, but if not for you…”

 

“I get it,” Revus sighs as he scratches the back of his neck. He focuses his attention on me, “So, what’re you going to do?”

 

I sit down next to him, lean back in the chair, and reply, “What do you think I should do?”

 

“Hmmm… Well, at the end of the day, what I think doesn’t matter. I’m not a skryver, nor can I become a page,” He explains, then nods in Evetta’s directions, “What matters is whether she wants it, and whether you’re willing to bear that burden.”

 

I feel my chest tighten as my legs and fist tense up. I take a deep breath, “That’s true, but I still would like to hear your opinion. Otherwise I feel like I’ll keep wracking my brain about what I should do.”

 

Revus sighs, “Fine. You want to know what I think?”

 

I gaze at him and nod.

 

He stops working on the bag, leans back in his chair, interlocks his fingers and places them atop his head. “If you’re anything like Nova, then I’m sure you’d make a great page. Being from the Raine clan, you family has ties to the skryvers so you’re likely to be working with them with or without becoming a page.” He continues, “I know she’d be happy about it, which…” He pauses and directs a gentle smile at Evetta, “I’ve learned matters more than I initially thought it would.”

 

“I don’t deserve it though,” The words escape my mouth.

 

“Pfft,” Revus laughs, “Deserve it?” He continues to laugh, trying to keep his voice down and, as he wipes a tear, he states, “You think I deserve to be by her side? Let me ask you something.” He leans in toward me, “Why do you think the world put me by her side?”

 

I furrow my brows and look from him to Evetta and back to him, “Isn’t it to protect her?”

 

“Sure,” He admits, shrugging his shoulders, “But why does she need to be protected?”

 

“What do you mean?” I turn and gaze at the small fairy.

 

“Is something targeting her, if so what? Shadar, enōōfen, or aeth knows what else? Is she going to be incapable of protecting herself, if so why? Because she’s crippled or something’s preventing her from using the axioms?” He takes a breath and adds, “These questions have plagued my mind for years.”

 

As I hear his words, I gulp, the seriousness in his tone resonating with me. She needs to be protected?

 

“What she needs now, and going forward, is allies,” Revus continues. “I won’t always be around to keep her safe from everything, so what I need to do is find reliable allies that can help me protect her.”

 

“Allies… Is that okay though?” I ask, “Minerva chose someone else so-”

 

“I know I was pretty harsh on her when we were talking about it the other day,” Revus relaxes in his chair and resumes sewing the leather and leaf bag together, “but I don’t think having you along would be terrible, assuming you’re qualified.”

 

“That’s the problem,” I state, “If I wasn’t qualified to be Minerva’s page then how could I be Evetta’s?”

 

“Minerva is the fifth, right?” Revus inquires.

 

“The fifth?” I raise an eyebrow.

 

“Lady Vestele had four kids, but there were five buds back at Kāālith,” Revus states, “I know all of her other cousins, so Minerva would be the fifth bud, correct?”

 

“Yeah, that’s right,” I confirm.

 

“Is Minerva someone great or-”

 

“She’s incredible,” I interrupt, “She’s already being compared to Disara, and there’s talk about her being another candidate for the next monarch.”

“Alright, and do you rate Evetta above or below Minerva?”

 

“Be-” I start to speak but stop and turn to look at her. No… After what she did with the spyrite yesterday… Maybe she has more potential than Minerva.

 

“I know what you’re conflicted about,” Revus comments, glancing up at me for a moment, “Evetta has potential, but in terms of skill, Minerva sounds superior, and by a lot.

 

“I think that’s pretty accurate.”

 

“Alright, so your claim about not being qualified to be Minerva’s page,” Revus says, circling back to the main topic, “Do you think it’s because you lack potential or skill?”

 

“B-”

 

“And don’t say both,” Revus quickly adds, a sharpness present in his tone, “If you had to pick one.”

 

“Um… I’m…” I don’t know.

 

“Alright, let’s simplify the question,” Revus pulls his attention from the bag and looks directly at me, “Yes or no. Does Minerva value potential?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Does she value skill?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Which does she value more?”

 

“Ski-” I start to speak but stop realizing the word that is about to come out of my mouth.

 

“There’s your answer,” Revus states, “So, not being skilled enough makes you unqualified to become Minerva’s page?” Revus nods, points at Evetta with a sewing needle, and continues, “Skill won’t mean anything to her. She’ll likely view anyone who’s adept at manipulating spīīr fondly.”

 

He looks down and returns to his work, “Besides, skill and potential, there’s more to being a page than just those. I’m sure Minerva knows it, and Evetta seems to have a grasp on it as well.”

 

I lean forward, lower my face to Revus’ eye level, and ask, “So you think I should become her page?”

 

He glances at me, “No.”

 

“What? But you were just saying-”

 

“Don’t misunderstand,” Revus cuts in. “I wouldn’t have a problem with you becoming her page at some point in the future,” he explains, “but not right now, after all, we’ve only known you for a week.” He continues, “Being timid and unsure about how to act around us, struggling to decide whether you should befriend her, everything you’re doing, it could be an act.”

 

“I guess that’s true,” I reply, “In that case what do you think I should do, assuming I’m not acting.”

 

“Assuming you’re not, and if you’re anything like Nova, I doubt you would,” he comments.

 

“Thank you,” I murmur.

 

He nods and continues, “Then I think starting as friends would be fine. Just think of our trip to Folian as a way to get to know each other.”

 

“Right, I’ll… do that.”

 

“Just be aware that this could lead to pagehood and, if it does, then be prepared for whatever the future may entail, even if you have to one day sacrifice yourself for her.”

 

I stare at Revus. Becoming her page means bearing the burden of protecting her. “I… understand.”

 

“I hope you’re prepared to stick around though,” Revus comments, “She’s never had friends, and if you’re the first, well… good luck.”

 

I smile and look over at Evetta. Friends. It does sound nice.

 

After a brief silence Revus adds, “Oh, and you look better with your bangs tucked back.”

 

“Thanks.”