Haikyu: Nah, I'd Adapt!

It just so happened that the training camp ended on a weekend, with the practice game against Nekoma marking the final day.

Everyone in Karasuno was about to return to their accommodation to pack up their things and prepare to head home.

However, Tsuna had never stayed at the camp with the rest of the team—his home was nearby. Without a word, he slung his bag over his shoulder and jogged straight home.

The Karasuno players stared at his retreating figure in stunned silence.

"...Is he for real?"

Tanaka finally blurted, his mouth hanging open.

Nishinoya shook his head in disbelief, "What kind of monster has that much energy after all this?" 

"Amazing! He's like a machine!"

Meanwhile, Hinata's eyes sparkled. On the other hand, Tsukishima didn't seem to be impressed at all as he mumbled, "Or a lunatic."

And with that, the day—and the camp—came to an end.

On the following Sunday…

The faint smell of something burnt filled the small kitchen,

Tsuna sat at the dining table, his expression was unusually serious.

Across from him, Ichiro mirrored the look as between them sat a plate of slightly charred omurice. 

"So, son," Ichiro began, his tone grave, "what advice do you need from me today?"

"Dad… are you trolling me?"

"Trolling?"

Ichiro gasped, clutching his chest like he'd been personally attacked. "Me? How could you even think that?"

"..."

Tsuna was unimpressed.

Tsuna sighed and explained what had happened while following his father's advice about Shimizu.

As he spoke, Ichiro listened intently, nodding along, until his eyes suddenly widened. He slammed a hand on the table and exclaimed, "Hold on, son! You should've told me sooner!"

"Huh? What? Why?"

Ichiro sat back down as he frowned, "Hmm... considering she's still acting that way, it's not too late!"

"What are you even talking about?"

Ichiro leaned forward, locking eyes with Tsuna. "My dear son, let me ask you something crucial. Do you trust me?"

"No."

"…That's too quick of an answer," Ichiro muttered, his serious expression faltering for a second.

Tsuna shrugged. "Well, what do you have in mind?"

"Listen…" Ichiro's voice dropped to a low, mysterious tone. "A rabbit has been fed carrots for a long time. She's had so many carrots that she's taken them for granted."

"...?"

Tsuna furrowed his brows as he stared at his father like he'd grown a second head.

Ichiro ignored that and pressed on. "Then, one day, the person feeding the rabbit carrots disappears. What do you think happens?"

"Huh?"

Tsuna scratched his head.

He rolled his eyes but paused to think for a moment before muttering, "I guess… the rabbit would get hungry?"

"No shit, genius. That's the obvious part." Ichiro facepalmed, shaking his head in disappointment. "But once the rabbit realizes how important that carrot was… when she understands there's no one left to give her the carrot anymore… what do you think happens then?"

"Hmm, she'd miss it...?"

"Sigh…"

Ichiro sighed deeply, shaking his head as if mourning his son's inability to catch on. "You're a genius in other things, but not this, huh? I guess God is fair."

"Huh? What does that have to do with me being a genius?" 

"It has everything to do with it!"

Ichiro declared, "Because I need you to understand that the little girl is the rabbit, and you're the one giving her the carrot!"

"Oh!!!"

Tsuna's eyes widened as realization dawned on him.

But then...

He shot up from his chair, pointing a finger at his father as if he'd just unraveled some grand conspiracy, "Dad, you must've been a criminal, right!?"

"Hey! I'm not!" 

"Such a devious plot…"

Tsuna muttered under his breath, rubbing his chin as if he were contemplating the morality of his father's advice.

His eyes narrowed as he shot Ichiro a skeptical look. "You… you didn't use this method to get Mom, did you?"

"Keke…" Ichiro smirked, leaning back in his chair with a mischievous glint in his eye. "What do you think?"

Tsuna turned to look at his dad's average-looking face before catching his own reflection in the glass cabinet nearby.

His undeniably "handsome" features stared back at him as he then twitched his lips in disbelief as he rolled his eyes at his dad before asking, "Now you need to explain to me how someone like you got scammed by a friend with such a devious way of thinking?" 

"...Son, you're getting personal now."

Ichiro's smirk vanished instantly as his shoulders drooped. He looked utterly deflated as if Tsuna had struck a nerve.

"Why can't you just be nice to your old man for once?"

Ichiro muttered, shaking his head like a man who'd been deeply wronged.

Knock! Knock!

"Aniki! Are you home?"

Keishin's voice interrupted from outside.

Tsuna and Ichiro exchanged confused glances before Tsuna shrugged and got up to answer the door.

As Tsuna opened it, Keishin stood on the other side, looking uncharacteristically panicked.

"Aniki! Bad ne—"

His mouth opened to blurt something out, but when he realized it was Tsuna who answered, he faltered mid-sentence, "Uh, Tsuna? Is your dad home?"

"Yeah..."

Tsuna raised an eyebrow at Keishin's flustered state before stepping aside to reveal Ichiro, who was already craning his neck to see what the commotion was about.

"Aniki! I've sent a message..."

Keishin didn't waste a second and hurried inside, muttering under his breath as Tsuna closed the door behind him.

He returned to his half-eaten breakfast, idly stirring his plate of omurice while keeping an ear out for whatever Keishin had to say.

"You did...?"

Ichiro asked, "Isn't that good? How's the response?"

"..."

Tsuna glanced between them, guessing the topic must have been about Machida since he'd given her number to Keishin a few days prior.

Keishin hesitated, "Yeah… that's the problem."

"...?"

"I think… she ignored me."

The room went silent for a beat. Keishin's dejected tone hung in the air as he scratched the back of his neck, clearly embarrassed.

"...!"

Both father and son exchanged a knowing look. Slowly, identical smirks crept onto their faces, as if they were reading each other's minds.

"Ahem..."

Ichiro cleared his throat as he leaned, his expression turned stony, "Keishin, my little brother… I can guide you to win her over."

"Huh? Are you serious about that?"

Keishin blinked, caught off guard. 

"Absolutely!" Ichiro's grin widened as he gestured toward Tsuna. "Together, my son and I can turn you into an irresistible man!"

That day...

...another stalk—uh, true man was born.

Maybe.

"Huh? Are you two for real...?"

Keishin shot a skeptical look at the father-and-son duo while scratching the back of his head.

These two guys literally just told him to be a criminal.

"Well, you can always try sending her another message." Ichiro shrugged casually, "Whether you trust my advice or not is entirely up to you…"

"...Right."

Keishin let out a long sigh, clearly unsure if he'd just walked into something dubious.

Then, without warning, Ichiro clapped his hands together with a sudden burst of energy. "Anyway, since you're here too, why don't you stick around and listen to my art?"

"Art…?"

Both Keishin and Tsuna furrowed their brows at the same time. Ichiro, however, was practically glowing with enthusiasm.

With a flourish, he whipped out a small music player from his bag. Tsuna raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, "Dad… are you talking about your music again?"

Ichiro had been telling him how he'd been working on his music these days.

Tsuna was skeptical but let the old man do whatever he wanted anyway, but seeing his joyful expression made him realize that maybe his music was done, and it was time to finally reveal it.

"Hahaha, of course!" Ichiro laughed heartily while fiddling with the device, "Did I not tell you? I'm going to be a rapper!"

"A rapper?"

Keishin repeated in disbelief as Tsuna pinched the bridge of his nose.

He totally understood Keishin's response very well.

"Now…"

Ichiro ignored them, grinning from ear to ear as he hastily set up the music player in front of them. "Behold my fine creation…"

"Fried Rice!"

With that dramatic declaration, a traditional Chinese melody began to play, its soft, plucked strings creating a serene atmosphere.

Keishin tilted his head, mumbling, "This isn't even Japanese…"

"Shh... Just listen..."

Ichiro spoke reassuringly.

Then, out of nowhere, the serene melody was interrupted by an aggressive, modern beat. It wasn't subtle at all as it crashed in, creating a chaotic fusion of old and new.

"Oh?"

Tsuna leaned forward slightly, his skepticism turning to curiosity as the fusion didn't sound that bad. And to his surprise, the beat was… kind of lit.

It had rhythm, energy, and—dare he admit it—a certain charm.

The beat was infectious!

Yeah, yeah, yeah

And then, Ichiro's recorded voice blared through the speakers.

I be like, "I would like three chicken wings with the fried rice"

I be like, "I would like three chicken wings with the fried rice"

I be like, "I would like three chicken wings with the fried rice"

I be like, "I would like three chicken wings with the fried rice"

"...!"

Tsuna froze mid-bite, his fork hovering near his plate, while Keishin's jaw slackened.

"Holy shit, Aniki… Why does this actually sound good?"

Keishin whispered, disbelief etched on his face.

The traditional tone of Asian music mixed with the modern western rap beat created a surprisingly harmonious blend, catching both of them completely off guard.

Used to eat Chinese on the late nights

After laying with a hater who would throw shade, wife

Box like an ocean, I ain't think twice

Turned into Larry Bird, homie, that's a great white

"Wait, hold on…" Tsuna squinted at the music player as if it might suddenly explain itself. "The rhymes are actually… good?"

Ichiro leaned back, arms crossed, his smug expression nearly glowing with pride. It was as if he'd just won a Grammy in their living room.

"Right?!"

He puffed up his chest arrogantly.

Tsuna's lips twitched at his dad's smug response and thought, 'I thought he was joking, but this is actually not bad at all.'

His gaze wandered to the small table near the television where Ichiro's proposal sat—a neat stack of papers titled Why You Should Invest in Your Dad.

For the first time, Tsuna wondered if maybe—just maybe—it wasn't a completely ridiculous idea to back his dad's dream of becoming a rapper.

The song carried on, with lyrics sharper than anyone expected...

Spelled victory on her lips, then she gets dismissed

When you kiss, tell me what it tastes like

If she ain't thick, then you know the face nice

If it gotta switch, then the cake's baked right

"Whoaa..."

Keishin's eyes sparkled, wide with admiration.

The song's last verse hit like a final punchline, leaving an impression that lingered even after the music faded.

The room fell silent for a moment, save for the faint hum of the music player.

Then Keishin broke the silence, his voice trembling with excitement. "A-Aniki! You might actually become a superstar!"

"Hahaha, really? I'm confident, but a superstar? I hope so, Keishin!"

His words were totally different than his expression as Ichiro's grin stretched from ear to ear.

"I'm serious!"

Keishin crossed his arms and nodded vigorously, "That song was awesome!"

Ichiro rubbed the back of his neck and clearly was embarrassed by Keishin's genuine praise when he was being all smug. Still, he thought it was a great success regardless as he turned to Tsuna with his eyes sparkling with expectation.

"Son, what do you think?"

"Ha..."

Tsuna sighed and put down his fork. "You know, when you said you were going to be a rapper, I thought you were just going crazy..."

"Hey, Tsuna, don't be rude!"

Keishin interrupted, shooting him a disapproving look.

"Oh shut up..."

Tsuna rolled his eyes at Keishin, who was acting almost identical to his grandfather. He then looked at his father with a nod.

"But honestly? That's a pretty solid rap song."

"Ohhh!"

Ichiro's eyes lit up like fireworks as he asked, "So, will you invest in me?!"

"...Invest?"

Keishin blinked, looking utterly lost.

His gaze shifted between the two of them as he was wondering, 'Do these two have some kind of deal or something...?'

"Sure," Tsuna said casually, picking up his fork again. "But don't mess it up like your ramen shop."

"WHOOAHAAA!!!"

Ichiro let out a triumphant roar that echoed through the room. Keishin was then swept up in the moment and got dragged in as they both started cheering and dancing around like hyperactive kids.

The sight was quite ironic as the person who was supposed to act like the responsible adult was jumping around like a child while the actual kid sat quietly at the table, eating his breakfast Tsuna sighed and continued eating his breakfast.

Meanwhile...

"Anyway, what's your rap name, Aniki?"

"My rap name...?"

Ichiro's lit up as he smirked, "Are you both curious?"

"..."

Tsuna just looked him dead in the eye, completely unimpressed, to which Ichiro coughed awkwardly, "Ahem..."

Making the investor unhappy would be a bad idea after all as Ichiro regained his composure.

"Hehe, alright," he said, puffing up his chest. "I guess I should tell you since you'll find out eventually anyway. But don't be surprised..."

Ichiro paused before smirking once again as he slowly spoke, "I shall be the next upcoming international sensation. And who am I?"

"My name..."

Tsuna watched as Ichiro suddenly took out a pair of thick sunglasses, some fake chains, and a prop cigarette before declaring, "...is Sushi Dogg!"

"..."

The room fell into heavy silence as Keishin's expression froze.

His mind clearly struggled to process the absurdity of what he'd just heard while Ichiro stood tall and proud.

Then—

Plop!

The sound of Tsuna's chopsticks hitting the table echoed through the quiet room.

He stared at his father, his mouth slightly open in disbelief, before slowly massaging his forehead, 'Should I not invest in him?'

Tsuna felt the need to convince his dad to change that name before approving the investment proposal first.

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Song reference: Lew Sid - Fried Rice

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