Harry Potter: Don't touch

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***

When he saw the ceiling of the Hospital Wing above him, Potter quickly put two plus two together and cursed loudly, cursing the dragon, its habits, and the ordeal itself with less than favourable words.

- Minus five points to Hufflepuff, Potter," Madam Pomfrey's voice came from somewhere to his right.

She walked over to the bed Harry was lying on.

- Turn on your stomach, I need to examine your back.

Harry did as she said and while the nurse examined his wound, he looked round at the patients lying on the beds in the Hospital Wing. Besides him, there were two other champions here. The Durmstrang champion, Lundren I think, was lying on a huge bunk made from two other bunks in the far corner of the Hospital Wing, his entire back covered in some sort of white substance. Fred Weasley, covered from head to toe in orange-red anti-burn ointment, lay in the next bunk. Something about his appearance struck Harry as odd, but he didn't have time to think about it because Madam Pomfrey struck up a conversation with him.

- 'I can't say I disagree with you about the trial, but you chose to participate in it. I can't imagine what you must be thinking to volunteer for the Tri-Wizard Tournament at such a young age. Did you really think you could handle a dragon, Mr Potter?

- When I dropped my name, I didn't think I'd be forced to fight dragons. I thought it would be a test of cunning and knowledge of spells, like the last Tournament. And I almost beat a dragon, by the way. I bet I got the smartest dragon of them all. If I had fought against any other dragon, I would have passed the test.

Madam Pomfrey pressed her lips together unhappily.

- 'No fracture, no complications,' she said. - You'll be able to walk out of here tomorrow. You will spend the night here, in peace and quiet.

At the last words, she glanced meaningfully at Fred Weasley, lying on the next bed.

- How are you feeling? - Fred asked Harry as soon as Madam Pomfrey stepped away from the Durmstrang student.

- Lousy," Harry listened to how he felt. - Have you been following the Tournament? Did that thing hit me with its tail?

- Yeah. It looked cool, you were on fire, grabbing the egg and running away from the dragon, and then in slow motion the tail flew into your back, you landed slowly on the ground and disappeared. Only Granny and Hypotenuse's performance is cooler.

Potter took another careful look at Fred Weasley. He finally realised what was wrong with the sixth year boy's appearance. He had no eyebrows and no hair on his head. Harry gulped.

- What's wrong with you? - He asked, even though he knew the answer to that question himself.

- The dragon did his best, never mind, it's nothing. I'll show you a slow motion replay of my performance when I get out. The only problem is that now George and I will be recognisable. But that's okay, soon he'll cut it off too and we'll be indistinguishable again.

- Slow motion? - Harry clarified.

It was the second time Fred had mentioned the term, which didn't go unnoticed by Potter.

- Monocular. You know that thing? My dad was able to hook up a Muggle memory card to it, and now you can use the monocular to watch the coolest moments with no time limit.

- You mean like a memory maelstrom?

- Yeah. But memory maelstroms are expensive, and memories are hard to duplicate, but you can sell monoculars of champion performances all you want. While I'm lying here, George has already started selling them.

- Where is he, by the way? - Potter only now realised that there were only three people lying in the Hospital Wing. Does that mean everyone else has passed the test?

- Surrounded by glory and honour," Fred said dreamily. Noticing the confusion in Potter's eyes, he explained, "George was one of the five who managed to capture the golden egg. He was here, but he was kicked out by Madam Pomfrey about half an hour ago. We tried to switch places, but the nurse spotted it. Yeah, I've just realised you're out of the loop, aren't you? I can tell you all about it. Thanks to Lee Jordan and his monoculars, I know how all the champions performed. It's evening, the trial ended a few hours ago.

- You saw all the champions perform? And me, did I do well? - Potter asked hopefully. - It's not like I let go of the golden egg when I got hit. When I landed, I guess I didn't either. Does that mean I passed the test if I had the golden egg in my hand when I lost consciousness?

- I, by the way, like everyone else, didn't realise that. Why did you use a regular egg instead of a golden egg? Did you want to annoy the dragon more?

- The regular one.

Harry realised that despite his best efforts, he had failed because of a stupid mistake over the flowers. Frustration came over him and his mood soured even more.

- He was on fire. The colours were all mixed up, and his glasses were burnt. I thought I had the gold," Harry explained.

- Ahh..." Fred said. - That's it... You're probably hurt, aren't you? Don't worry about it. Despite your failure, you got good grades, mine were much worse, and I don't mind. You've got new glasses, by the way, Dumbledore did it himself. But where they are now, I'm not too sure.....

There was silence for a few moments.

- How did George deal with the dragon? - Harry asked

- Fed it canary fudge," a smile appeared on Fred's face. - It was as stupid as it was brilliant. And the great thing was that it worked. You know? Our invention turned a huge, Marilyn take it away, dragon into a little bird. While the dragon was a canary, George grabbed the golden egg and ran away. I'm sure sales of canary fudge will skyrocket after the trial.

- Finch-Fletchley? He didn't beat the dragon, did he?

- Yeah. Didn't take much of a risk, just cast spells from afar. Called the birds to attack the dragon, they burned. Then he gave up, sending up a shower of red sparks. He looked strange, by the way. His face was unnaturally red, like he was sick.

- Cedric, what is he? - Harry continued to question Fred.

- Summoned the dog and controlled it skilfully. It was dodging fire, imagine that. Was able to distract the dragon and grab the egg. Then the dragon favoured the dog over the human, and Diggory got a bit banged up, he visited the Hospital Wing too, but left almost immediately, nothing serious.

- What about the others? Who's in first place now?

- First up is George Hypotenuse. School is Durmstrang. He turned into a dragon and defeated another dragon one-on-one, epic. He's an unregistered animagus, as it turns out, but there's a different system at Durmstrang with registration. Second up is Krum. Threw Conjunctivitus and, while the dragon was thrashing around furiously, grabbed the egg. A really basic solution to the problem, I'm surprised no-one's thought of it. George is third. Cedric and his dog, he's got a lot of points off because he's injured. Fifth is Adrian Roux. Dangerous bloke. Slaughtered a dragon with a transfiguration sword, got a lot of points off for killing a dragon. These are all the people who got golden eggs. Sixth Fleur Delacourt, her attempt to charm the dragon was great, except the dragon turned out to be a female and wouldn't respond to the charms of another female, so Fleur never made it to the golden egg. Seventh, you. The judges appreciated your attempts.

Fred stopped. Madam Pomfrey came over to him and gave him a drink of medicine.

- 'Eighth Evette Roux,' he continued as Madam Pomfrey walked off somewhere. She became invisible and was supposed to get to the egg, but got hit on the head with a wing. She gave herself away by screaming and chose to get away. The ninth Johan Otto. He tried for a long time to get to the dragon's nest, closing himself with a stone wall against the flames, but the dragon kept breaking his wall, so he spat on it and called the Infernals to his side, immediately after that he was disqualified. He's ninth only thanks to Karkaroff's ten, they don't consider such magic forbidden at their school. Tenth is me. I, like you, summoned a broom and tried to lure my dragon out of the nest, except that I, unlike you, succeeded. But as soon as I grabbed the egg, the dragon caught me and let the flames out of its mouth at almost point-blank range. The defence system was bullshit: all my hair and a bit of my face burned before I flew out of there, all my wounds are healed now, but my hair is a problem. Eleventh - Lundren. Accelerated himself several times, ran around the dragon and taunted it. Successfully lured it out, but tripped over the dragon's nest, got a tail on his back and a few paw strikes. He wasn't as lucky as you: the tail broke his spine and now he'll be in the Hospital Wing for a week. Twelfth - Basel Francois. Shortest performance. Attempted to apparate without an apparatus licence. There was a barrier removed, so it turned out to be quite possible. Anyway, he missed and hit the podium, that's where his ordeal ended. Thirteenth, Justin. He didn't show anything special, I've already told you. Fourteenth, Juliette Laurent. She gave up as soon as she saw the dragon. And the last one. The champion of champions. Anton Babushka. The most epic performance. He first tried to get the dragon drunk with some bourbon, and after failing, he summoned a tank from somewhere. The tank broke the supports for the spectator stand, as a result of which the stand did not fall down only thanks to the actions of the judges. Many of the spectators were injured, and Nana was disqualified. Dumbledore gave him a "-10." Granny managed to score less than zero points, even Juliette, who was not judged, was above him.

* * *

The picture after the first trial of the Three Wizards Tournament, as it turned out, wasn't so bad. Harry didn't get hold of the golden egg and didn't get the clue for the second round, which was in that very egg. And even more than that, because of the increase in the number of champions, measures were taken to prevent foul play, and now none of the champions can help another champion, because the clue in the golden egg was covered by a privacy spell.

But despite all these significant disadvantages, Harry was in the top half of the standings after the first round, which was still not a bad result. Five people got the clue, four people failed outright, but there were six other people who made a good attempt but for one reason or another didn't make it to the golden egg, and Harry was in second place among those people. So with a good performance in the second round, Potter could well be in the top three before the last test, and if the top five also failed as one, first place wouldn't seem such an unfathomable task.

Half an hour later Finch-Fletchley came into the Hospital Wing, looking like a crushed slug that had been painted black. Madam Pomfrey attended to him at once, and soon he resembled a human being, and after he regained the ability to speak, he told his story.

After the trial he, still sober, made a joke about Juliette Laurent, who had come fourteenth in the first trial. The joke hurt not only her, but all the French, but the girl herself did not respond in any way to the teasing. But, to Justin's misfortune, there was Fleur Delacourt, who was upset about the failed trial and had a blast on Finch-Fletchley.

- We need to get back at her, Harry. One on one she can take on anyone, but we can take her on together," Justin returned to his human form and began to call for revenge as soon as Madam Pomfrey had left to go about her business.

- I'm sorry Justin, but I'll pass," Harry refused. - I think you're being deliberate. We've had more adventures this term than the last three, and you can't get enough. Why are you teasing everyone?

- I'm not teasing...

Fred snorted. Even the Weasley twins were already noticing that Finch-Fletchley was acting a little too swaggering.

- I'm just making jokes, not teasing. It's their fault if they don't get it. After all, words should be answered with words, not incantations, right? So, are you gonna help me?

- No. Although...

Harry wasn't sure of the answer. On the one hand, he thought Justin had asked for it, and besides, he wouldn't want to take revenge on a beautiful girl for whom he felt a strange affection and for whom he was ashamed of in front of Zhou for no real reason. On the other hand, he didn't want to betray Finch-Fletchley. The man had always been on his side and helped him with absolutely everything. When Harry was about to resolve the dilemma in favour of Justin and unjustified revenge, Fred suggested a better choice:

- What if George and I pranked her?

- Yeah, that's a great solution," Harry seized on that option. - Did she turn you into a slug? Or what was it? And Fred and George will turn her into a canary. Revenge will be served.

- Well... - Finch-Fletchley clearly wanted more, but compromised nonetheless. - All right. Put canary fudge in her juice, or whatever she drinks, and we'll be even. By the way, I have a message for you. For some reason, they won't let anyone but the other champions in, so they've decided to pass them on to me. Fred first. George wanted me to tell you that his egg is screaming like Percy and he has an idea of what the ordeal might be about, but he can't tell anyone. He's also already bought a hair growth accelerator. This I didn't understand, by the way, how he could buy something if the walk to Hogsmeade isn't for a while yet. Also, the girl who introduced herself as Angelina asked me to give you one word, "Kingdom". She said you'll figure it out for yourself. What does that mean?

- It doesn't matter," Fred waved it away.

For a moment Harry thought he was blushing. But after a moment he wasn't so sure of it anymore, indeed, the Weasley twins and 'blushing' were antonyms.

- Right, now Harry. You're popular with us. Ginny has enquired about your well-being. Creevey asked permission to sell the pictures of you standing in front of the dragon on fire. Zhou gave you a long message that I was too lazy to memorise, but I'll give you the short paraphrase - "Harry, you're my hero!"- Justin warped his voice beyond recognition. It was nowhere near Chang's voice. - Tonks said you did well. Moody said you performed very poorly, but much better than my, as he said, abysmal performance; also suggested you follow Madam Pomfrey to see who she would treat more. Bagman congratulated you on a good result in the first round. That's about it. Oh, yeah, there was Hagrid. He didn't like it when you called the dragon names. But he's glad you did well on the test.

- What a lot of well-wishers you have! - whistled Fred.

- That's what I mean, there was some guy from Ravenclaw, first time I've seen him, but he said he'd tell me in person.... But for some reason, nobody congratulated me. I'm kind of jealous. That's fine. I'm gonna go talk to Lundren, I've got a great story about a fast man with the grace of a rhinoceros.