Harry Potter: The Witty Wizard

A plate of quarter-cut sandwiches appeared next to his left hand. And a second appeared next to her right.

"Looks like you're munching while reading, too," he smirked.

She just moved her plate closer to be between them and said, "Maybe."

As she expected, Harry wolfed his own down and eyed hers, which weren't touched yet.

Smirking to herself, she said, "Go ahead, Harry. I didn't want them in the first place, remember?"

That plate emptied quick-smart, too.

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

ˇ

It was while he and Hermione were again taking a walk around the back yard when Harry had his epiphany, as he later called it.

"Oh, for the love of Merlin!" he suddenly exclaimed, startling Hermione. "I am such a twit!"

"Harry!" she suddenly exclaimed in shock at his own sudden exclamation.

When Harry spun to look at her, wondering what was wrong, she had a hand lightly to her chest between her breasts.

"What?" he asked

"What do you mean, what?" she shot back. "You scared the life out me!"

"Oh!" he sheepishly replied. "Sorry."

"What was all that about?" she asked.

"Oh, yeah," he replied. "I've just realised I've been 'infected by the wizarding daft moron virus'."

"P-Pardon?"

"The daft moron virus!" he repeated. "I've turned into a daft moron!"

With a snort leading the way, she asked, "Ohh-kay. What's led you to believe that?"

He replied, "I've been thinking we need to ask the aurors to allow us to go to Diagon Alley to buy some more stationery supplies."

"Yes?" she asked. "And?"

"We don't need to go, if that's all we're going for!" he explained, throwing his hands up. "House elves can be sent to buy that sort of thing for you!"

"Oh," she said, understanding. Then she grinned. Then she began to laugh.

"It's not funny!" he declared. "I'm infected!"

That just made her laugh even harder. And made him sulk a bit.

"Harry," she patiently said. "I didn't think of that, either."

That made him feel better but not happier. "I just didn't see it," he grumbled.

"When we get back inside you can send Dobby to Diagon Alley as soon as you want. However..."

"However?" he asked, starting to lead the two of them back to the back of the house.

"How about we make a list of things for Dobby to buy us before you send him," she explained. "I'm sure there's more than just 'stationery' for him to buy."

"Yeah, and that's the other problem," he grumbled as they reached the back door.

As he held it open for her, she asked, "What's that?"

Stepping in after her and closing the door, he replied, "Think of how those in the wizarding world buy their groceries. Do you remember seeing a grocery store in the Alley?"

"Errr... no," she replied, stopping to turn to him with a confused expression.

"Exactly!" he exclaimed. "There isn't one there!"

Going back upstairs to the main floor and into the kitchen, he called, "Dobby."

The little elf popped in and asked, "Yes, Master Harry?"

"Dobby, when you were with the Malfoy's, did you do the food shopping?"

"Yes, Master Harry," he replied. "That was beings one of Dobby's works he shared with Peggy."

"How do you do it?" he asked. "I mean, where do you go to buy food?"

"There beings a muggle shop being run by squibbies," replied Dobby. "All elveses go there."

"So, if I was to give you a shopping list," he asked. "You'd be able to fill it by buying what I've listed?"

"Yes, Master Harry," replied the elf. "Does this mean Master Harry is going to be lettings Dobby doing shopping work now?"

"Most of it, yeah," he sighed.

Dobby grinned excitedly back.

"I'll have a list for you within the next few days," he almost morosely sighed.

"Yes, Master Harry!" exclaimed Dobby, before he popped away again.

Hermione was now sitting back at the dinette, turned away from him. But, she wasn't fooling him for one moment. The shaking of her shoulders meant only one thing. She was laughing at him and trying not to show it.

"I am a daft moron!" he firmly declared to the world - well, at least the kitchen. "However, I shall not embrace it! I shall overcome it, by doing better. I shall strive to rid myself of this infection with all my heart and mental... acuity. And I shall succeed!"

Her tinkling gay laughter did nothing to make him feel any better.

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

ˇ

During an afternoon tea break, Sirius called Harry.

Because Harry was stuffing his face yet again, Hermione had to answer the call.

Sirius took one look at his godson, hurrying to clear his mouth of food, and laughed.

As he swallowed, Harry scowled. "Stop it. You know I can't help it."

"I know, Pup," replied Sirius. "But, that doesn't mean I can't laugh about it, does it."

Hermione leaned in and said, "Harry's grown about three to four inches taller in the past few days!"

Unsurprised, Sirius gave a nod and said, "By my estimation he's got some more growing to do yet, kiddo."

Hermione grinned and nodded. "Any reason you decided to mirror call us?" she asked.

"Yeah," he returned. "Harry?"

As Hermione angled the mirror better for him, Harry was quickly trying to swallow another mouthful.

"Don't swallow on my account!" declared his godfather, before laughing a little again.

Harry scowled back.

"Listen," said Sirius. "The goblins have agreed to the use of their time dilation chamber. However, they need to go no later than the early hours of tomorrow morning for it to have a reasonable chance of being done on time for Tuesday morning. Recovery time is needed."

"Shhhhhyte!" he muttered. He thought for a few moments, reached a decision and said, "Alright. Do it."

Sirius then went on to define what terms the Goblins wanted for use of the chamber, plus the secrecy oaths they insisted be a part of that. The price was a 'biggy', but not financial. It related to a boon Gringotts owed the House of Potter.

"Understood," said Harry. "And, I agree to the terms."

When Sirius nodded back, he continued, "I need to get one letter off to Neville and want the goblins to take a letter into the chamber with them for me.

"So, I've now got some writing to do. I'll send both letters via Hedwig, as soon as I can today. I'll have her go to you first, before flying on to Longbottom Hall."

"Sounds like a plan," agreed Sirius. "I think this is actually going to work."

"Once you found that curse and counter-curse I'd figured, right then, this was going work. It was just how we were going to go about accomplishing it that was the major variable.

"All that's mainly left to do for the rest of us is watch it happen."

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

ˇ

Straight after the mirror call and finishing his 'snack', Harry pushed all the Potter documents to the other end of the table and out of the way. Then brought across his draft of text for the letter to Neville. That had to be completed, as did the second one.

The two of them added what they could to 'help' Neville through what was about to happen. But, couldn't flat out tell him because they all knew his grandmother would immediately step in and block it.

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