HP: Alchemy? Nah, It's Crafting

"Hmm..."

The Sorting Hat murmured softly atop Kasenhis' head.

Before it could even speak, however, Dumbledore swiftly yanked it off.

He calmly placed the hat back onto the cabinet, then turned to Kasenhis with a knowing smile in his eyes.

"...I need a damn explanation. The Sorting Hat and I had a mutual understanding—who the hell are you to interfere?!"

"Because you're not ready yet. Trust me, it won't be long… But let's get back to business. You were wondering whether the voice Harry heard could have been the Basilisk itself, or perhaps Tom controlling the Basilisk?"

Kasenhis subtly glanced at the Sorting Hat, now back on the cabinet.

He silently vowed that one day, when Dumbledore wasn't around, he would absolutely steal it.

Of course, none of these thoughts were visible on his face. Instead, he maintained a completely serious expression and replied,

"Magic is vast and unpredictable. That kind of thing should be possible, right?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Indeed. For example—Parseltongue."

"...…You mean a person can understand snakes?"

"Not just that—you can speak their language and even command them."

"Harry's going to love hearing this," Kasenhis said dryly. "I mean, it's a special talent, at the very least."

"Not exactly," Dumbledore corrected. "Parseltongue is one of Salazar Slytherin's defining traits. Every known Parselmouth since him has become an exceptionally powerful Dark wizard. It would be best to warn Harry and tell him to keep this a secret."

"That's just survivor bias—too bad no one in the wizarding world teaches math," Kasenhis muttered, watching as Dumbledore stood up. He rolled his eyes and got up as well.

"I'm going to check out the corridor Harry mentioned. Maybe I can trace the pipes and find out where those two are hiding. If you didn't take enough," Dumbledore gestured toward the cabinet in the corner, "you can grab a few more bottles."

"Really?"

"Of course—as long as you accept an advance deduction from your salary."

"Uh… never mind."

...

Back in the Alchemy Office

Returning to his office, Kasenhis stretched deeply, cracking his back as he did.

Harry was lounging comfortably on the sofa, munching on a bag of chips, while Neville—the poor, studious soul—was hunched over his books, head buried deep in study.

In his left hand—a giant Rune dictionary.

In his right—the Enchantment Book.

Right now, his entire focus was on figuring out why the damn Rune characters were behaving so inconsistently.

Was this a bug?

Did Professor Kasenhis create something with a flaw?

Impossible.

Absolutely impossible. It had to be his own mistake.

Time to go over it all again.

If Kasenhis knew what was going on inside Neville's head right now…

…he probably wouldn't care.

After all, strictly speaking, it wasn't a bug—It was a feature.

If something is replicable, doesn't that make it a feature?

"Professor, how did it go?" Harry asked.

"Oh, nothing major," Kasenhis replied casually. "The voice you heard was probably the Basilisk. In other words, you're a Parselmouth."

Neville, who had been scribbling calculations on a blank parchment, accidentally pressed too hard, nearly dragging his quill straight across Harry's face.

He looked up immediately, staring at both a completely bewildered Harry and a perfectly relaxed Kasenhis.

"That can't be right—Harry is a Parselmouth?"

Kasenhis nodded. "Yep. At least, based on what he told me so far, that seems to be the case. But Dumbledore also told me to advise you to not tell this to others."

"Wait—what does that even mean?" Harry asked, still completely lost.

"For as long as history has recorded, every known Parselmouth has come from Slytherin's bloodline—and almost all of them have been famous Dark wizards. From Salazar Slytherin himself to Voldemort, every last one of them," Kasenhis explained matter-of-factly, while simultaneously shoving Neville's head back down toward his parchment.

Students should focus on being students, after all.

At the same time, he thoroughly enjoyed watching Harry put down his chips.

Harry collapsed onto the sofa as if someone had pulled out his spine, his entire body limp and lifeless. Even the light in his eyes had completely disappeared.

"I'm a Dark wizard… I'm a Dark wizard… I'm a Dark wizard…"

"No wonder the Sorting Hat wanted to put me in Slytherin… I am a Dark wizard…"

"Hey, I said you shouldn't go boasting around. Who said you're a Dark wizard?" Kasenhis asked, looking mildly confused as he reached out and ruffled Harry's hair. "The others just happened to be Dark wizards who shared the same trait as you."

"I'm a Dark wizard… I'm a Dark wizard… I'm a Dark wizard… sniff… I don't want to be a Dark wizard… I'm a Dark wizard…"

Kasenhis turned to Neville. "…Is he always like this in the dormitory?"

"Actually, this only happens when he's here… Uh…" Neville hesitated, then added, "I think it's kind of like when a kid whines to their dad...? Ron acts like this sometimes with his father too."

"...Wow. Thanks a lot, Harry."

Kasenhis sighed.

"You just turned a perfectly respectable young professor into… well… a dad."

Technically speaking, he had already graduated from Manchester before coming here…

Strictly speaking, he wasn't that young anymore.

"Professor, what should I do?"

Harry suddenly snapped back to life, looking up at Kasenhis.

"Just bear in mind - aside from your closest friends, don't tell anyone about this," Kasenhis said seriously.

"Your closest friends will comfort you, go to great lengths to help you feel better, and make sure you don't feel alone.

"But if you tell the wrong people, they'll use it as ammunition against you."

Harry nodded dazedly, processing the words.

"…Professor, why do you look so… weird?"

Kasenhis waved a hand dismissively. "It's nothing. You just reminded me of something annoying. You said the Sorting Hat wanted to put you in Slytherin, right? Well, I just remembered something frustrating of my own."

"What?"

Both Harry and Neville—who really should have been focusing on his calculations—looked up at the same time.

"I was in Dumbledore's office just now, trying to get the Sorting Hat to sort me, but Dumbledore interrupted me… That old bumblebee with a sweat tooth… that ancient meddler!"

"Anyway, let's drop that. Did you remember everything I told you?"

Kasenhis turned to Harry.

Harry nodded—though whether or not he actually remembered was another story.

By the time he left, he had completely forgotten about taking back the broom Neville had.

Maybe his brain was still buzzing too much to process it all.

Once Harry was gone, Neville finally got back into the right headspace.

"Professor… come look at these two runes. Something feels off about them, no matter how I look at it."

Kasenhis glanced over, then leaned back on the sofa, flipping open a magazine while casually responding,

"Exactly, Neville. That's why I told you to study. The runes in dictionaries and the runes in practical use are completely different."

"Then what about the punishment.. I mean paper…?"

"Still ten inches of parchment or five thousand words. If you write it well, there's a chance it could get published in the European Alchemy Journal."

"…Professor...…"

"Hm?"

"I think I want to die a little...…"

"What nonsense are you talking about?"

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