I, a Mental Patient, Was Chosen to Participate in AnalogHorror

Wang Hai hung his head, his expression becoming extremely desolate.

"Dr. Wobuju, at first, there were no problems, but after, later, a rift developed in the relations among us three..."

Here it comes!

Wobuju felt a surge of excitement, believing that the key to victory lay with Wang Hai!

"May I ask whether the rift was caused by them, or was it because of you?"

Wang Hai seemed to recall some unpleasant memories, his body starting to tremble slightly. He did not directly answer Wobuju's question, and instead, he sprouted a bunch of nonsensical remarks.

"Yes, that's right, she actually doubted us, no, that's not right, our relationship was completely normal! It was she, she herself went mad, she went mad! But... but I still love her..."

Doubted us?

She went mad?

I still love her?

Does this mean one of the three was insane, and the other two were good people?

No!

That's wrong!

[Rule Nine: Remember! There is not a single good person in this mental hospital, do not easily believe anyone's words...]

All three of them must be insane; I shouldn't jump to conclusions.

Wobuju felt as if he was just a thin veil away from the ultimate truth.

"Wang Hai, did you have some kind of improper relationship with 'her' that 'she' caught or discovered?"

This question touched Wang Hai's sore point, and his voice became frantic.

"An improper relationship... No! There was none! We three were supposed to love each other! There couldn't have been anything improper! It was she who went mad! Not me! Ah! My head hurts so much!!"

Wang Hai, in agony, clutched his head, and from behind, dozens of sharp tentacles emerged and instantly shredded Wobuju!

[You have died, and the speculation has ended!]

Wobuju opened his eyes, pale-faced.

The time rewound to the moment he was about to ask his question, and, of course, he did not need to ask again at this point.

"Wang Hai, I suggest you just take your medicine, that's also 'her' wish."

"Her wish, huh... Okay, then..."

Wang Hai seemed somewhat fearful of 'her' authority and obediently took the medicine.

Wobuju exited Wang Hai's room.

"It looks like this patient could very well be a playboy; and it's quite likely he did wrong by the female mental patient, but to figure out which one is the legitimate wife, I still need to meet the last patient."

The Lighthouse Country's live stream started to sing praises of their chosen one again.

[Look, this is Dr. Wobuju from the Rice Empire!]

[Good! Look at that meticulous deduction and perfectly used skills, simply flawless!]

[Yes, you're right, now we're just a step away from the truth!]

[Tsk, tsk, not like some people, a chosen one who's a lunatic?]

[Hmph! Mere S-tier talent, in the eyes of Jiang Xiao from the Dragon Country, it's just that, brothers, that's enough resting, let's go back and watch Jiang Xiao~]

...

'DuangDuangDuang!'

Jiang Xiao knocked a few times then directly entered the second patient's room.

Inside, Wang Hai was sitting by the window, gazing out at the distant scenery.

"Oh, Brother Octopus, do you know where SpongeBob is?" Jiang Xiao asked in a muffled voice.

The Wang Hai sitting in the chair paused, then pointed at himself incredulously.

"Dr. Jiang Xiao, are you talking to me?"

"If there's no one else here, I think so, and please, call me Dr. Pai Daxing."

Wang Hai touched his buzz-cut, confused.

"Jiang, Dr. Pai Daxing, is this the latest treatment plan? However, it's futile, because I am a normal person."

"Brother Octopus, you have to know, there are no normal people living in a mental hospital. Why are you here?"

Wang Hai's expression turned somewhat gloomy: "I... I also don't remember why I ended up here..."

"Well, do you still remember what you like to eat the most?"

Wang Hai's eyes lit up, this he remembered.

"I like eating chili-fried meat and Mao blood hotpot!"

Jiang Xiao slapped his forehead, expressing profound disappointment in a muffled voice.

"Oh God, you don't get what I'm saying, I'm not the least bit curious about what you like to eat."

Wang Hai: ????

If you aren't curious then why the hell did you ask!

"Hmph! Whether you're Dr. Jiang Xiao or Dr. Pai Daxing, I won't eat a single dose of today's medicine!"

"Medicine? What medicine? Are you talking about magical rainbow candy? I indeed wanted to share some with you, Brother Octopus."

Wang Hai scoffed, magical rainbow candy, my ass.

"Dr. Pai Daxing, please spare me these tricks for fooling children, they're ineffective on me, I advise you... advise you..."

Wang Hai's voice caught in his throat as his eyes widened in disbelief.

He just saw this Pai Daxing doctor tilt his head back and show off by downing an entire bottle of medicine!

Wang Hai: ???

"Oh, please don't look at me like that, Brother Octopus; you were the one who didn't want to take them. Now it's too late for regrets."

Wang Hai shook his head, trying to make sense of the new doctor's logic.

This... this isn't right either!

"Wait, you just ate them all?"

"Mm-hmm~ What else?"

Damn it, mm-hmm?!

[My god, look at that life-doubting expression of his.]

[One 'mm-hmm' and he's rendered that creep speechless!]

[To be honest, watching Jiang Xiao's performance without using your brain is quite stress-relieving.]

[Jiang Xiao is breaking the rules, you know~ Rule three: You must make your patients take their medication on time, six pills a day.]

[Like what you're saying matters, when has Jiang ever cared about rules?]

[Jiang who?]

[Jiang Xiao has 'Spirit,' briefly known as Jiang Spirit, doesn't that make perfect sense?]

[Truly, Jiang Spirit!]

"Why are you still looking at me?"

Wang Hai swallowed hard, feeling creeped out by Pai Daxing doctor's intense stare.

Wasn't this guy quite talkative just now? How come he went all quiet after taking the medicine?

Jiang Xiao wasn't speaking simply because he was feeling more calm now, especially when he saw Wang Hai gazing out the window...

Yes, Jiang Xiao's outside hobbies were the same as Wang Hai's: gazing into the distance from the bedside.

At this moment, a touch of humanity took the upper hand.

"Oh, actually, I was contemplating something particularly deep and philosophical..."

"What is it? Can you share with me?" Wang Hai asked tentatively, having a keen interest in philosophy!

But Jiang Xiao shook his head earnestly.

"I don't think that'll work, you're mentally ill, you definitely won't be able to answer a normal person's question."

"Pai Daxing doctor! Let me reiterate—I am a normal person, not some mentally ill patient!"

"Hehe, since when do normal people call me, a Psychiatrist, Pai Daxing?"

Wang Hai: ???

I mean... wasn't it you who asked me to call you Pai Daxing doctor?!

Wang Hai felt uncomfortable, but the live comments started bursting with joy.

[Highlight: Jiang Xiao said he's a 'Psychiatrist.']

[Is that a play on words? Is he a doctor who treats mental illness or a doctor who has mental illness?]

[Wait, if you put it that way, my tonsils are about to speak up...]

[Enough! Please stop discussing what Jiang Spirit said, I'm afraid I might lose my mind!]

Impatiently waving his hand at Jiang Xiao, Wang Hai asserted confidently.

"You don't worry about whether I'm mentally ill or not, just ask me! Since I was young, I've read extensively, knowledgeable in astronomy and geography, known as one of the Capital City's four talents. There's nothing I don't know!"

"Alright then, I was wondering, why does the world host a Paralympics for people with physical disabilities but doesn't create a special math competition for someone with intellectual disabilities like me? Isn't that discrimination against people with intellectual challenges?"

Wang Hai: ???

What?

Any sane person would never ask such a question, right?!

But in the live comments...

[Uh oh, I'm actually starting to think Jiang Xiao has a tiny bit of a point. What do I do?]

[Goddamn discrimination against the intellectually challenged, I can't... I'm laughing so hard I'm convulsing.]

Wang Hai cleared his throat, "Pai Daxing doctor, if this won't do, maybe, maybe you could ask me a different question?"

"Fine. In Su Shi's 'Spring River Evening View,' it says: 'Ducks are the first to know when the spring river warms.' I want to know how Su Shi knew the ducks were the first to know."

Wang Hai: ...

"How the hell would I know how Su Shi knew that? I'm not Su Shi!"

[Sss... seriously, how did Su Shi know what the ducks knew? As the saying goes: 'If you are not a duck, how can you know the warmth of a duck?']

[Could it be... Su Shi was a duck?]

[???]

[Second floor? You must be Jiang Xiao's ward mate, right?]

[It's no use, I feel like I'm about to grow a brain...]

Wang Hai firmly slapped his head, refusing to believe it and pressed on.

"That's not right, not right at all, the questions you're asking can't be answered by anyone. Got any questions with common sense?"

Jiang Xiao nodded: "Of course, I have one. You have subtitles for movies, comics, and music, so why aren't there subtitles when you read a novel?"

Wang Hai scratched his buzzcut in confusion, huh, that's weird, come to think of it, why aren't there subtitles in novels?