I Became the Burden of a Conscienceless Party

104 – Faith and Love (5)

Faith and Love (5)

It was a little unexpected.

I had a vague sense of the atmosphere, but I could never have imagined a confession like this.

No, I guess you could call it a confession.

I’m a pretty capable person by nature. It’s impossible to tell me not to fall in love with you.

However, it is certain that the form was different from what was expected.

Saint Irina trembles as if she is afraid of being rejected.

Because the sight was so different from what I usually saw.

“Loving someone is free. Moreover, if you say you love me, I think I will be happy. Yes, I am happy now that I hear that.”

There is a saying that one action is worth a thousand words.

However, there is also the opposite.

Sometimes words speak louder than words.

This is usually the case with those who are not confident in their own actions or the appearance of others. Saint Irina was no exception.

All she needed now was a word of reassurance.

“then…….”

Irina flinched at my answer, but seemed to relax.

There was no sign of fear of being rejected like before.

Instead, a soft smile appeared on his lips.

Just a few simple words.

That alone was enough to relieve Irina’s fears.

What is so simple to some may solve a long-standing problem for others.

Be your own light.

I have lived up to that saying, but at the same time, I know that I cannot survive in this world with that alone.

At some points you have to figure out the answers yourself, but at other times you need help from someone.

That’s why I try to live honestly about everything.

“Mr. Jim, do you love me?”

“… … .”

However, I also realize that sometimes lying is necessary.

This is something I shouldn’t say frankly.

No, it won’t work, really…

***

Saint Irina knew.

That his own question was truly cowardly.

As a representative of the Cheonshin sect, he whispered words of love instead of apology.

It is truly a cowardly and ugly thing.

However, that doesn’t mean she’s fearless. If she were to hear rejection from the mouth of the angel she serves, it would have to be hers alone.

Because it was still difficult to accept the complete collapse of the Celestial Sect.

However, Jim saw through her intentions and agreed with her.

He told her that he was happy for her love. With just those few words, Irina felt her heart melting.

My heart is pounding harder and my mind is becoming more aching.

Irina smiled, free from the fear of being rejected.

And finally, he was able to admit that his feelings were love.

Yeah, that’s why.

“Mr. Jim, do you love me?”

“… … .”

I asked that question.

Honestly, it wasn’t a question I was expecting.

Irina, too, is not certain that the person she loves will love her back.

Isn’t it from now on?

Today, I confirmed the possibility.

Irina thought that alone was enough.

However, Jim kept his mouth shut tightly and broke out in a cold sweat.

“… Mr. Jim?”

Irina blinked as she watched Jim’s face turn pale in real time.

Perhaps the answer that would come out of Jim’s mouth would be ‘no.’

Irina would be heartbroken to hear those words, but she intended to understand. She had never intended for it to end there in the first place.

I will think of it as not giving up, but starting from now.

But Jim is in trouble.

Yeah, I’m having a hard time.

“Mr. Jim… … .”

Irina immediately began to shed tears. For her, who had been acting her whole life, this was a simple task.

If Jim feels sorry for her now, there’s no reason not to exploit that feeling.

Her feelings for Jim may be innocent and cute, but the brains behind it are sinister.

Irina’s heart was already relieved by the time she received Jim’s permission, but it was no problem to make the atmosphere even more sticky.

“Is that difficult to answer?”

To create the other person’s regret in the form of guilt.

She portrayed herself as a tragic heroine as possible.

“Why… … .”

Fortunately, Jim doesn’t know her true self yet. Irina had no intention of showing her true self in the first place.

She had been living a lie, so she was ready to act as Jim’s ideal woman.

And now she has her bearings set by the sight of Jim.

It’s something that elicits sympathy.

“Over there, that… … .”

“Just… just be honest with me, Mr. Jim.”

“Umm… … .”

Brrrrr.

The tears that had been in Irina’s eyes flow down her cheeks.

And then he chooses the moment when tears start flowing down the corner of his mouth and smiles.

Best directing.

A ploy to elicit sympathy and guilt. The appearance of a young girl.

“… … I’ll be honest.”

Jim said, rubbing his eyes as if he could no longer bear to see Irina like that.

“Saint… … No, Irina.”

“… … .”

Jim, who speaks with a lot of atmosphere.

Irina, who was manipulating the situation, flinched in surprise at the sudden calling of her name.

A situation separate from her acting. Not acting, but a real trembling heart.

Irina began to feel excited and anticipate the change in their relationship through their conversation a little while ago.

What if Jim says he loves you?

Should I run away and start a family?

Eastern style wedding? Western style wedding?

The Celestial Sect started in the East, so would their methods be better?

Children? Just one, considering God’s specialness? Or maybe three for a happy family?

Or else… … .

‘Hmm, hmm. That’s a bit too much.’

At that time, Irina was drawing a rosy picture of her future through such an assumption.

“… … I have seen Irina as an object of s*xual desire, but I have never seen her as an object of love.”

“… … .”

Irina was speechless.

I got rejected. Honestly, I expected it.

Didn’t you know this would happen from the beginning and create the current situation to make Jim feel guilty?

“That… … . That’s… … .”

However, Irina was only able to notice the emotions boiling over deep inside her heart only later.

“What on earth are you talking about… … ?”

I couldn’t stand the thought that he only saw me as an object of s*xual desire.

No, I know Jim sees himself as an object of s*xual desire.

But, who would have thought that there would be only s*xual desire, not affection?

Irina has been tempting Jim in many ways all this time.

There were times when I inadvertently stirred up that s*xual desire.

However, the basic plan would have been to run away together and start a family.

Every time Irina was tempted like that, she dreamed of her married life with Jim.

Wasn’t it like that just a little while ago?

She was a girl who, surprisingly, dreamed of becoming a good wife and devoted mother to her family.

But isn’t it true that Jim only dreamed of s*xual desire in those words?

Even if you are immersed in the seven emotions, isn’t this a bit too much?

Doesn’t that mean he’s basically on the same level as Esmeralda, who has been blatantly harassing Jim?

I can tolerate other things, but I can’t tolerate that.

Irina had a tendency to secretly look down on Esmeralda.

“… … .”

Her heart is pounding as if it will burst, expressing anger, love, and hate all at the same time.

I was definitely thinking of being satisfied.

Confess your feelings and get an answer from Jim in some way.

Then whatever the answer, Jim will be concerned about himself from now on.

I thought I could use that to tilt Jim’s heart towards love.

Yeah, that was all.

In the first place, Jim surrendered himself, saying he would stop running away and join the warrior party.

Irina didn’t know why, but she knew Jim was sincere when he said he would join.

In that situation, stealing the luggage and escaping the warrior party is counterproductive.

So today, I tried to be satisfied with just hearing the answer.

‘No, but.’

Irina’s head began to take in the current situation.

Her plan has already succeeded.

Jim has been watching Irina’s expression since he spoke a little while ago.

From now on, whatever you do, you will think of it as related to love.

But is that enough?

Now that it’s been revealed that she’s on par with Esmeralda?

She’s been tempting me quite a bit.

He has been openly expressing his affection.

But this is an absolutely unacceptable problem.

“… … .”

My heart is beating faster and faster.

Her mind, which had been filled with all sorts of thoughts, suddenly turned blank.

When I came to my senses.

“Irina?”

“… … .”

Irina was getting closer to Jim.

Irina, who had been clinging to Jim as if to push him over, closes the distance between them and looks him in the eye.

Slowly, as if asking for permission.

And the moment I realized that Jim was not avoiding me and was making eye contact with Irina.

Irina closed her eyes tightly and kissed Jim.

***

There is something called atmosphere.

I also know the general flow of the story.

Irina was disappointed and angry with my answer.

And yet, instead of expressing it, he chose another way.

Irina kissed me as if she wanted me to be conscious of her, even though she was angry at my answer.

In a way, it is a declaration of war.

She must have tried to get ahead because she knew I was putting her on the same level as other people.

Passionate feelings.

If you put it that way, it would be correct.

But, I got carried away with the atmosphere. Not Irina, but me.

For a moment, I was so caught up in the atmosphere that my lower body took over my brain.

“Why did you stick your tongue in there, you crazy b*stard… … .”

The person who inserted his tongue into a girl’s first kiss.

So, the person who surprised the person who shyly confessed his/her love to me and made him/her run away.

That was me now.