I caught you (15 years later)

I am dying… Black spots invade my vision. My insides are cold. There is a ringing sound in my ears. I can see the light… And no, it is not the stage's lights. So, this is what it feels to die of heartbreak.

"How is it that you greet her first, and not your own father?"

No, Aldo! You cannot die like this! Not before you tell Heidi how you feel! Not before taking at least one kiss from her to the grave!

Pumped with determination, I brush off the maladies that plagued my body a few seconds ago and look at the man… the father. The man, who also acts in the play, heads to Heidi and looks at the girl in her arms with fond exasperation. The others look on with indulgent smiles, telling me the scene was an often occurrence. Looking at the small family, my body starts getting sick again.

Is he her...? No! I refuse to believe it! Heidi can only have one man in her life! That man must be me! No one else! I'll make them separate! I'll force her to divorce! She is mine!...

Wait, what am I saying? That's wrong. Calm down, Aldo. Don't act like the jealous love rival. It's not that I still like her… Right? No. No, Aldo, you don't like her… This isn't your plan; you only wanted to her how you felt years ago. Make her regret a bit. Then, you can disappear from her life just how she did with you. Yes, that was the plan! Focus!

…Ah, but they look so happy together!

I want to stop this! I didn't come here to suffer!

"Lilly, be a good girl and go with your father. I have a guest today." Heidi says, passing the girl to the man. She sounds a bit… excited(?) My ears must be playing a trick on me. Young and handsome, but already demented… Ah, what is this life of mine…?

Heidi gets down the stage and, without saying a word, takes my hand and leads me out of the man hall. The moment she takes my hand, I feel everything around us disappear. She still has this effect on me?

Back when we were kids, I was always trying to hold her hand, always trying to get that pleasant skin-to-skin contact with her, and she would nonchalantly take my hand without saying anything when I asked. I was a bit grateful that she was dense, so she never got uncomfortable with it.

It is a bit sad to admit it, but the sole reason I was always holding her hand was to be the happiest kid in the world. And, this time is not the exception.

I'm the happiest man in the whole universe! Forget about the revenge! I just want you, Heidi!

The room she takes me to is adorned with some psychedelic art, seats of all types and colors, and the pleasant smell of the flowers by the window suffuse the air. Most importantly, it is silent, with just the two of us here. The perfect spot to… My trailing thoughts come to a halt when she grabs my other hand, forcing me to focus back on her.

She stares at me. I stare back at her. I really do not know why she is looking at me like that… it makes my insides turn into mush, and words fail to come out of my mouth. What was I planning to say? Her penetrating gaze makes my heart beat fast, more so when she slowly gets closer to me.

Her hand lets go of mine and reaches up to touch my face, making me panic. I freeze. What is this? The reunion thing is not supposed to go like this. I should be the assertive one! Everything she touches on my face gets hot. I must be really red by that point. So shameful! I want to run away, but my feet cannot move.

"It's really you." She says with a bright smile. So blinding! "It's been so long, Aldo." I did not hear wrong back then. She really is happy to see me! My mind finally kicks my body to respond. I smirk and put on my facade of irresistible man. The one with which I conquered my past girlfriends.

"Who else, Heidi?" I give her one of my best flirting gazes, but, as always, she looks as if she has some sort of shield on and does not react to it. Instead, I am the one who gets affected by her as her arms cling around my neck and her body presses against mine.

Felony! This is a crime! I'm being assaulted!

But I like it, I like being assaulted by her... More, Heidi, please…

Woah! No! No! Pull yourself together, Aldo! Don't fall for it!

Think about something else, something unpleasant… think about the junior at the company and his last mischief… Think, think, think! Damn, Niccolo, you had the nerve to steal my food! I still haven't had my revenge on you! You'll severely pay for eating my prized pudding! I'll grab that mop of hair of yours and… oh, her hair smells nice. Even when messy and uncombed, my little savage always had a nice fragrance.

Come back, Aldo!

"Aldo." She suddenly calls out, looking up. "How did you find me?"

"I'm the great Aldo Greco, Heidi. There's nothing I cannot do." I laugh. And I may sound a little bit hysterical, but I can still feel her body pressed on mine and… Oh, she really has grown… My feverish mind cannot help but focus on those two certain parts that rub against-

"Yeah, even your tiger tooth is gone." She notes with mirthful eyes.

"Ah, yeah… Brackets and all that…" I absently reply. Then, I catch up with her words and glare at her. There goes my sudden excitement! You haven't changed Heidi. Always saying unnecessary things! "By the way, how old is she?" Great, Aldo! Ask her how she made the girl, too, why don't you! But I am curious – not how the girl was made, but to know more about her… daughter.

Right, even the thought of Heidi having a daughter upsets me.

"Who?" I forgot how hard is to have a conversation with her. She never seems to be on the same wavelength as me.

"The girl from before." I grit my teeth.

"Ah, she's 4, or is it 5? I always forget, I don't see her often." Not often? Are you a bad mother, Heidi? Forgetting your child's age is a bit...

"How can you forget? Isn't she yours?" I chide her. Then, I sigh at my actions. I am starting to think that I am a masochist and that I like torturing myself with the idea that she is already married, that she is already popping kids out of her and that a man...

What?

She is looking at me as if I just said something weird and outrageous, then she laughs. Hard. Loud. Without reserve.

What?!

"She's not mine. What are you saying!" She hits my arm while wheezing. I slowly raise my hand to rub my arm. It hurt.

"Then, why does she call you Mama?!" I explode with all the pent-up frustration and grievance. That's it. If I want to know it, I have to directly ask it.

"Why are you yelling? I don't know why she calls me that. She just suddenly did. It's not like I'll scold a little girl for calling me Mama. Kids are like that! I don't even know why you're so angry about it." She pouts. She always pouts whenever I scold her.

I never liked it when she did that. When we were kids, she was always pouting around because I scolded her a lot for being so dumb. However, her gesture always made me feel bad because I felt as if I was bullying her. Even now… Well, I shouldn't have yelled at her in the first place, but she's just so tiring and infuriating. She's right, though, it's not my right to get angry at her for what others do.

"Ok, I'm sorry." I sigh, rubbing my forehead. I am getting too emotional. Too invested. That was not the plan. When I look back at her, she is smiling. "What? Did I say something funny? I have something on my face?"

"Even if you're yelling at me, I'm still happy to see you." She hugs me again. This woman… How can she say something so embarrassing? Ah, but I am really happy. Why does she make me so happy with just a comment?

It feels like back then, back when I had that childish love towards you… and how you rejected me…

I embrace her back and lean my cheek on her head. Why did you not tell me you were leaving? Why did you push me aside as if I was nothing? Why could you not see how much I liked you? I never thought you were that block-headed to be oblivious to my feelings.

More than once, I let you know how I felt. Not directly, but anyone would have noticed. I mean, everyone in the class, in the school and in the neighborhood knew; everyone except you.

I have so many questions, Heidi.

"Why didn't you-"