I Tried To Be Her Loyal Sword

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157th Chapter

“What should we give as a token for the Swordsmanship Tournament? A handkerchief feels too cliché, how about a grenade? They say any weapon other than magical tools is allowed at the tournament, right? If worse comes to worst, just toss it.”

“That’s hilarious. So, are we going to give them a cannon as a token?”

“Quit dousing me with cold water.”

As usual, the banter between Aria and Karl blurred the lines between a fight or a conversation. This ordinary routine was precious to me, but unlike other days, I struggled to enjoy it today.

“I’m sorry for bringing you into this world filled with misfortune and not being able to protect your childhood.”

It was just yesterday that I had unearthed the tragic past hidden behind the black veil.

Even discovering the truth then hadn’t caused the world to crumble or the sea to dry up. Other than seeing a bit more tenderness in Caesar’s eyes as he looked at me, everything around was as it had always been.

Yet I felt slightly different. It was as if a pool of muddy water in my heart, long unsettled, was slowly drying up and turning into solid ground, like soil hardening after rain.

“What am I living for right now?”

With my gaze fixed into the void, I quietly organized my thoughts.

In my early childhood, I had vowed not to live like my mother. With resentment towards her and filthy, muddy emotions, I barely managed to persist.

As I grew a little older, I lived for Aria. After discovering the only color in a monochrome world, I was determined not to lose my sight again.

At some point, I grabbed a sword to save Aria, and after that, the sword became my value. My swordsmanship was my only worth.

So, what is it that keeps me alive now?

I had graduated from childish stubbornness, and Aria was no longer a child needing my protection. The sword was still my value, but I felt it wasn’t enough.

“Sister. What are you thinking?”

Startled by the sudden voice, I blinked. Turning towards the source of the sound, the vivid sky-blue I once cherished was waiting for me.

Aria’s voice was soft as the morning dew rolling on leaves, yet it held a firm core within. That gentle determination captured people’s attention without the need to raise her voice.

I couldn’t even think of answering; I simply stared at Aria’s hair swaying in the air.

“Shush. You look deeply troubled. Is something wrong?”

I turned my gaze toward another voice.

Was it blood that could not be deceived? The tone of Karl’s voice was very similar to Caesar’s. Only younger and fresher, like a rosebud that had not fully bloomed, caught somewhere between boyhood and youth.

No. It’s nothing.

I managed to pull my expression back together and shook my head. In an instant, both of their faces hardened.

“W-what is it?”

Seeing their faces grow cold, like a scene from a horror novel, I shuddered. Under the watchful gaze of two pairs of eyes imbued with the vivid colors of the sky and a fiery red, Aria, blinking slowly, tugged at the corners of her mouth. Her eyes weren’t smiling.

“I believe I mentioned it several times before. You know I can read you like a book.”

Indeed, Aria was the one who knew me best. It was only natural, given her sensitivity to others’ emotions and changes, having observed me throughout her life.

Yet, as I hesitated to speak, Aria’s eyebrows twitched, and she struck with a critical blow.

“Are you going to wait again to tell me? Just like during the incident?”

I couldn’t hide the tremor in my pupils. That terror incident was something I had to forever apologize to Karl and Aria for.

“On the day of the incident, I only asked for help and then returned a mess…”

There was no room for excuses for my guilt, and I recalled how coldly Karl and Aria had treated me in the days following that incident.

“That’s not it…”

“By the way, I heard you talked with Father for a long time yesterday.”

I was generally quick to pick up on things, but the perception of Karl and Aria was instinctual, on a level surpassing mere intuition. I couldn’t fathom why they were quicker to sense these things than I was.

With Karl’s casual remark, I could no longer manage my expression.

“Would it be better for me to ask Father, or would it be better for you to tell me directly?”

Feeling that I had no way to escape while watching the corners of Karl’s mouth rise with grace, I finally opened my mouth slowly.

“……Yesterday, I learned about my mother from Father.”

A faint hint of discomfort spread across Karl’s face. As half-siblings, he was cautious about the topic of my mother. I sent Karl a reassuring glance and turned my head away.

“Aria.”

The grip in Aria’s hand holding the cup tightened. I bit my lip.

Just as I had a curiosity about her, Aria might also be curious about our mother. However, I was torn about whether to share what I had learned with her.

While I felt Aria had the right to know, I questioned whether I wanted to bring up the painful memories again.

“If you’re curious…”

“No.”

Before I could finish my sentence, Aria firmly rejected it. I blinked in surprise as I looked at her.

“I’m not curious, sister.”

Her eyes, blue like the clear sky on a sunny spring day, shone coldly.

“I don’t have parents. I don’t want to be dragged into stories from the past, nor do I want to hear about those people. This isn’t resentment or a childish stubbornness. I just don’t want to know.”

Aria’s two eyes spoke of a perfect stranger. In that unwavering, strong aura, I felt the difference between Aria and me.

I had turned my feelings about my parents from that time into resentment, overcoming the tragedy of my birth through it.

Yet Aria seemed to have dismissed her parents from her life without any resentment at all.

I couldn’t even imagine what thoughts plagued the sick Aria as she lay in bed all day. It was something I couldn’t gauge, nor could I dare to.

“I just want to live without knowing. I’ll leave those people behind in the past. I don’t want to understand.”

Calmly, Aria tilted her teacup. The sight was endlessly elegant and beautiful, reminiscent of a scene from a fairy tale, yet her delicate hands holding the teacup trembled faintly.

“……Alright.”

I nodded briefly. If that was Aria’s choice, I had to accept it.

Foolishly, I had torn the veil of truth that didn’t need to be revealed, exposing the ugly side of the world. That was my chosen method. No one should intrude into my way of life.

However, wise Aria knew how to leave Pandora’s box shut. She thought rationally, leaving curiosity behind. She was the type to move forward, leaving the dark veil simply behind her.

“Have you ever thought you needed parents?”

I asked cautiously. Though Aria had said she was fine, I was worried if she had ever felt the need for them.

Aria, who had been gazing at me, smiled brightly. It was that smile I loved.

“Not even once. For me, family was more than enough with just you, sister.”

Just as I had confirmed my reasons for being born from Caesar’s words of love, I reaffirmed something else from Aria’s heartfelt words, densely packed with sincerity. I smiled back at Aria.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

It meant my life until now hadn’t been in vain.

Thud.

My feet encased in mana lightly touched the ground. Behind me, a black drapery fluttered widely. Glancing around the empty alley for a moment, I stepped softly out onto the main road.

“The Guild Street.”

The street where the Empire’s guilds gathered was quite quiet. Considering how bustling it had been when I last visited, this had a high probability of being a residual aftermath of the terror incident. That terrorist attack in the heart of the capital certainly stirred a sense of vigilance among the Empire’s citizens.

“I hope Yasha is at the guild.”

I pocketed my hand, fiddling with Yasha’s business card. I felt uneasy about the possibility of making a fruitless trip.

Even though I had heard an overall account about my mother from Caesar, it still felt insufficient.

I learned the reasons behind my birth, but I had no idea what happened to my mother after that or what her connection with Leisha was. Thus, I had come here intending to meet Yasha.

“How strange. Why do I have such a hollow feeling about my memories of my mother?”

I raked my fingers through my hair, furrowing my brow. No matter how hard I tried to recall, my memories prior to the age of seven were oddly empty.

Of course, it’s more unusual for childhood memories to be vivid, yet this was unnaturally so. Even though my memory is not that poor, recalling a single detail about my mother was difficult. It felt as if someone had forcibly erased them.

“Were those memories something I didn’t want to keep?”

Perhaps my subconscious had wiped them away as a defense mechanism, not wanting to remember my mother during those hard times. Brushing past the rising sense of alienation, I moved forward.

“Speaking of which, up ahead is ‘Hide & Seek.'”

As I walked down the now-familiar path, I narrowed my eyes slightly.

An emotion that I couldn’t discern whether it was hatred or affection suddenly surged forth. I pictured a man’s face that could elicit the most dramatic reaction from me.

“I wonder if that jerk is still doing well in business.”

Looking at the empty guild street, useless thoughts crawled up. My heart alternated between a sense of glee at the thought of him starving due to financial issues and a reluctant desire not to see such a sight. I couldn’t even understand my own feelings.

“Still no updates from him. That guy… Doing that, he’ll screw everything up.”

I clicked my tongue, recalling the information documents that had yet to appear despite daily checks of the letter packages. As I irritatedly cursed Zigmund internally…

“I-I swear I’ll pay you back if you just give me a little more time!”

I suddenly halted my steps at the distant voice that faintly drifted over from the right alley.

Whether it was the Information Guild or the Broker Guild, there were plenty of guilds engaging in debt collection across the board. Collecting debts was one of the best ways to raise money, especially since guilds typically consisted of the empowered.

This alley was likely one of those scenes. Simply passing by would be the wisest choice, yet I couldn’t bring myself to leave. The voice was too familiar.

“Are you really not letting this go? How dare you treat Deckardo’s heir like this…”

The voice ringing menacingly from beyond the alley was unmistakably that of Märhen Deckardo.

“Useless bastard. It’ll be handled by Leuwellin.”

The words that came to mind upon recalling Märhen were all negative.

“Crazy guy… Did he borrow money from loan sharks?”

Feeling uncomfortable, I raked my hair wildly.

Since Leuwellin began his move to establish himself as the rightful heir, Märhen’s position had swiftly declined. After all, he had only occupied his role due to being the firstborn with no actual ability; there was no way it wouldn’t crumble once a true successor appeared.

“I had heard he was grinding his teeth in anger, but I can’t believe he borrowed money too.”

Sweeping my bangs to the side, I let out a groan. It was a troublesome situation.

As I was contemplating what to do…

“Do you know how many times I’ve said this, Lord Deckardo?”

Upon hearing a familiar voice, I froze, unable to even breathe.

A voice that was seemingly polite yet endlessly chilling. A low tone dipped in gloomy timbre, stirring the winter air with merely a breath.

If I tuned in closely, I could certainly sense it. A cold aura, as frigid as a frozen lake.

Was he aware of my thoughts? Or was it his intention to provoke me again? Just when I thought I would feel better, he reemerged.

“I thought I had waited an awfully long time.”

I swiftly turned towards the alley where the voice emanated.

A voice and presence impossible to forget, lingering for eternity. That deep and heavy name engraved within my bones.

The one confronting Märhen was undoubtedly Zigmund.