I Tried To Be Her Loyal Sword

---

170 Chapter

The soft sensation spread across my lips. His lips, touching my most sensitive skin, were chillingly smooth, causing my body to shudder involuntarily.

A firm arm wrapped around my waist, and a hand grasping the back of my head pulled me closer, our bodies pressed together.

Frozen in place, I felt something touch my lower lip, and my spine tingled, prompting me to open my mouth reflexively.

From that point on, a sweet lily fragrance filled my mouth. I gasped for air.

‘Ugh, mm.’

A groan rose from my throat but couldn’t escape; it only echoed within me. As a strange sensation climbed my spine, I instinctively stepped back, but El’s hand, holding my head, pulled me back toward him.

He did not close his eyes. It was as if he was capturing every subtle movement of my facial muscles with his shining eyes. It became even harder to breathe in the face of those intense silver eyes, so I tightened my grip on his shoulder and shut my eyes.

“Ah.”

He slightly bit my lower lip with his fangs. Then, with a gentle touch on my lips, I gripped his shoulder even tighter.

It was strange. So dramatic that I didn’t know what to do.

“Ha, Shushu.”

El slowly released my lips, keeping our foreheads pressed together, and whispered my nickname in a heated voice.

When I barely opened my tightly closed eyes, I saw his eyes, reddened and soft, and his expression trying to suppress his desire.

“… We said we didn’t need a reason. I did this because I wanted to, without a reason. I’m sorry to surprise you.”

His voice, cracked with emotion, pretended to be gentle as he smiled, looking down. He seemed to try for the usual smile, but I could see the cracks in it.

I knew that such intimacy was not exclusive to lovers. Above all, the first place I lived was a brothel. There, emotions did not serve as a reason. It was simply enough to act on impulse.

I understood that El acted impulsively, but the heat rising in my brain also played a big part. El, looking down at me with a strange smile, asked.

“… I liked it. Did Shushu dislike it?”

My face burned with his question. Even without a mirror, I knew my face must have turned bright red. Flustered under his persistent gaze, I turned my head slightly, covering my face with my hand and muttered.

“It… it wasn’t that I disliked it.”

El was someone I cherished; he was kind and gentle. I felt flushed all over and unbearably embarrassed, but there was no reason to dislike him.

Suddenly.

The large hand that had been brushing aside my hair froze. After a moment of being stiff, he covered his mouth with the back of his hand.

El’s face was completely flushed.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“Huh?”

El hurriedly turned his body. He strode over to the wall, crashing his forehead against it to the point that it swelled. He turned back to me, his ears and neck flushed bright red, unable to meet my gaze.

“I’m sorry. I think I should go.”

“Oh, o-okay, take care.”

Both of us were in quite a disarray, and for some reason, El looked particularly flustered.

After tightly closing and then opening his eyes repeatedly, El took out a teleportation artifact from his pocket. Clenching the artifact tightly, just before activating it, El looked straight at me without being able to calm his blush and said.

“I didn’t do it by mistake. I don’t regret it.”

“So I hope you feel the same.”

El spoke in a dry voice, like someone slighted.

Swish.

And before I could respond, he vanished in a flash of light.

Thud.

After counting to ten since El disappeared, I sat helplessly on the spot. My face, covered by my hands, felt extraordinarily hot.

‘I feel so strange.’

The heat didn’t seem to cool down easily.

The fourth round of the Swordsmanship Tournament ended without much fuss. For my opponent, facing me must have been a challenge beyond hard mode, yet for me, it felt like mere child’s play. The opponent, who wielded dual swords quite convincingly, regrettably had to face defeat in the fourth round because of me.

“Did the Princess of Crisis really defeat Gregor? How on earth?”

“Was there some trick from the Duke’s Mansion?”

“Yet, it seemed… Gregor was overwhelmingly pushed back in the match. The princess was definitely superior.”

Lately, wherever I walked, people were buzzing about my match in the fourth round, and I realized my opponent was quite famous. Gregor, known as a wandering knight from the mercenary background, had been favored by many betting that he would win the swordsmanship tournament.

Because my opponent was a well-known strong contender, attention naturally shifted to me, who had defeated him. Suddenly, people began placing bets on me. While some still thought I had come this far because of the prestige of Crisis, it seemed that more were starting to be interested in my strength.

‘But what’s important now isn’t that.’

I slowly brushed aside the beautiful white chrysanthemums I held. Just seeing the white petals brought forth memories of the snowfield.

Dressed in a black uniform, I tightened my grip around the teleportation artifact.

I had someone to meet before revealing the identity of ‘Mir’ to the world. This was the person who had given me this name. I whispered softly.

“Teleport.”

The world within my vision flipped in an instant.

“Ugh.”

I grimaced and spat out a short sigh.

The nauseating sensation of teleportation was one that I could never quite get used to.

‘There weren’t such problems when I rode in as a mercenary.’

Having used the teleportation artifact for the first time, which could only be used twice, I carelessly shoved it into my trouser pocket, and then I noticed something cold dripping onto my hand. Automatically, I looked up at the sky.

“Ah.”

Thick snowflakes were falling from the sky.

Unlike the Empire, which was just transitioning from early summer, this place was in winter. In the north, which boasted eternal snow, winter was the only season that ever visited.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been to the North.”

I used to come here every day as a mercenary, but since joining the Crisis family, I hadn’t come at all. I shook off the snow that had already begun to pile on my head and briefly surveyed the area.

A familiar ‘S’ shaped tree came into view. Instantly understanding where I was, I skillfully shifted my steps to the right.

The snow piled up to my ankles, pressing down on my feet with every step. I was glad I wore long boots. Bracing through the discomfort of the snow, I gradually slowed my pace as I neared my destination.

It was inevitable that my steps would become heavier.

Tapping.

At the end of my slow, almost turtle-like pace, I stopped before a single black rock in the middle of the pure white snow. My brows furrowed in sorrow.

This rough and unremarkable stone was the only gravestone dedicated to my master, Karasho.

“…Master. I’m quite late, aren’t I?”

I whispered softly as I placed the bouquet of chrysanthemums in front of the rock. I knew that the white petals would soon mix with the snowflakes and disappear, but I always brought flowers. There’s something beautiful about being ephemeral and fragile.

I visited this place every year on Karasho’s memorial day. It became a tradition to drop off a bouquet of flowers, lament the life I had been living since then, and then leave. I used to bring drinks too, but today wasn’t her memorial day, so I just brought the bouquet.

“For a long time, I could only share limited news about my life. Yesterday, today, all I could tell you was that I earned money hunting monsters. But now, it’s different. I’ve found something precious besides Aria and a place to return to.”

Now I could say more than merely surviving from day to day while standing at the crossroads of life and death. I wondered what it would have been like if Karasho were still alive.

‘You found your father! No matter if it’s a duke or whatever! So what, is he a good person? Is he treating you well? Hahaha, that’s all that matters!’

She would surely have genuinely congratulated me for finding a new family and a place to return to. She would have shared in my joy like it was her own, feeling a bit sad that we couldn’t work as mercenaries together anymore but urging me on my path. She was that kind-hearted.

I bit my lip tightly. The overwhelming rush of longing and sadness engulfed me.

Just because I had more precious people didn’t mean that Karasho’s loss was nullified. No one could fill the void left by a person. A vacancy remains eternally empty, and what fills it is something else entirely.

I chewed over thoughts of Karasho slowly, carefully, like restoring an old parchment.

With her beautifully tanned brown skin and gentle black eyes. The mercenary hailing from the warm East was warm-hearted too.

I learned much from Karasho. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that half of the many pillars supporting who I am today were formed because of her. She taught me about the sword, life, and beliefs. To say that I could now act like a person instead of a wreck was largely due to her.

“I still remember every teaching you gave me. Especially the last one… I will never forget it. You were right. Even though you are gone, your teachings remain with me.”

All the lessons engraved in my mind became a compass and guide for my life. My strong and unwavering beliefs came from her. I admired her and wanted to be like her. I wouldn’t say I had none of her innate qualities, but many parts of who I am now were shaped by her teachings.

I wore her clothes.

“But now I want to go beyond your teachings and find my own beliefs.”

I gently brushed the snow piled on the gravestone away. As the snow beneath my touch vanished, so too did the snowfield inside my heart slow to disappear. It was time to forget the nightmares.

I wanted to wear my own clothes now.

“It’s not that your beliefs were wrong. It’s time for me to graduate from you and find my own. I’ve grown now.”

Having brushed the snow off the gravestone, I stood up straight. Though still sorrowful, Karasho was no longer my nightmare. She became a memory, a precious treasure to keep.

“This winter, I came early just in case I might be too busy to visit on the actual day. Please forgive me for being unable to come then. I will visit you after everything is settled.”

I briefly pressed my forehead against the gravestone. The hard stone that touched my forehead was certainly chillingly cold, but to me, it felt warm.

“I still respect and love you. Please rest well over there.”

I whispered with a voice filled with sincerity.

Even in death, Karasho remained my master.

Taking a deep breath, I gently brushed off the snow that had settled on my head. It would be more comfortable to take out and wear the robe in my pocket, but since I came prepared in my black uniform to see Karasho, I didn’t bother to cover it up. While standing there for a moment, I shook off the snow piled on my shoulders and spoke elegantly.

“When are you going to keep standing there?”

Swoosh.

At my reprimand, I heard the sound of snow crunching behind me. I brushed off the snow on my shoulders and turned my head.

“Zigmund Hyde.”

A large silhouette stepped out from behind a tree and walked toward me, his deep hood falling away to reveal an incredibly beautiful face.

“That annoying face is still the same, I see.”

I smirked.

Under this sky, besides me, the only remaining disciple of Karasho was Zigmund Hyde.