I Will Eventually Embark On The Path Of No Return Called A Hero

[Arc5] - 64. Pain and Happiness Go Hand in Hand

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It was a miscalculation. The [Heart] he had long desired brought unexpected, terrifying side effects. Was it because of such negative influences that he abandoned it in the first place?

Those were memories he didn't need—like how humans reject parts that bring pain. As a doll, he had simply deleted anything that caused him pain. It was a logical action with no fault in it.

Gowther clutched his head, leaning against the wall as he moved inch by inch. Even though he had no lungs, he found himself taking deep breaths. This puppet body of his, though artificial, provided some relief.

Merlin once claimed that his creator was the greatest magician in Britannia. It seemed she wasn't exaggerating. Yet, he had no memories of this creator. And if he couldn't recall them, so be it.

The greatest mistake was fleeing in panic. This uncharacteristic behavior would surely raise suspicion. The probability of Captain Meliodas chasing after him was 80%, while the probability of Vice-Captain Cyd pursuing him was 100%. According to the behavioral patterns of the [Seven Deadly Sins], once Cyd acted, the others would enter standby mode. In other words...

If he could avoid Cyd, he might have the chance to analyze and resolve the abnormalities in his body.

"The probability of escaping from the vice-captain is 5%. Direct confrontation must be avoided. Initiate disguise."

After a brief analysis, Gowther began his transformation. Being a doll, he could easily alter his appearance. First, he changed his hair color and made slight adjustments to his body structure and voice. Concealing his magic, he put on a simple white dress, completing his disguise.

Though simple, Gowther was confident it would suffice. As a doll, he wouldn't exhibit nervousness under interrogation, leaving no gaps for detection.

He was confident... until—

"Gowther, where are you going?"

Gowther stopped in his tracks, expressionless as he took a step back from the figure blocking his path—Cyd.

"So, the vice-captain defies common logic. I thought my disguise would work at least twice."

"Then... isn't this what you've always wanted? The [Heart] is right here before you." Cyd leaned against the wall with his hands in his pockets, his [Reforged Pandora] resting across the only path Gowther could take.

"I cannot determine whether it is my [Heart]," Gowther said, glancing at the unarmed Cyd. His brows furrowed. "Escape probability: 2%. Mortality probability: 50%."

"Mortality probability? That's disheartening. I learned this for self-defense, after all. If you hadn't suddenly attacked, I wouldn't need it. Though, looking at your current state, it might be a bit excessive," Cyd said with a shrug.

Gowther's face rarely displayed emotions, making his intentions difficult to read. Despite always peering into others' hearts, no one could fathom his own.

Now, Cyd could. Gowther's expression was etched with pain, resisting the awakening memories.

"Gowther, you once had a [Heart]. It wasn't just a physical component but a symbol of life itself. You didn't lose your [Heart] because it was removed; you lost it because you forgot it."

Gowther could erase others' memories—so naturally, he could erase his own.

"Throwing away painful memories... you're quite the child."

"Vice-Captain, I am nothing like you," Gowther said, retreating a few steps while clutching his head. Facing an unarmed Cyd was perilous, with low odds of success. Turning to flee would yield even worse results. His only option was persuasion.

Or so he told himself. In truth, he wasn't persuading Cyd but venting—a raw, ugly emotion he didn't understand.

He was angry. Angry that Cyd blocked his path, despite knowing nothing.

"You wouldn't understand me, Vice-Captain. Your perfect past must be full of happiness. I know you've endured battles beyond comprehension. Your memories sustained you. I envy that. All I have are painful memories."

Kind, strong, compassionate, and diligent—Gowther saw every admirable human quality in Cyd, almost as if he embodied the [Seven Virtues].

Such a perfect being must surely have perfect memories.

"Happy memories? The younger me didn't think so, but the present me would admit it," Cyd sighed, taking a step closer to Gowther.

"You speak as if we [Seven Deadly Sins] are fundamentally different, but we aren't."

"What do you mean?" Gowther's expression twisted, the sound of approaching footsteps merging with the echoes of forgotten memories.

"Memories are painful because they record both your happiness and the moments you lost it."

Meliodas and Elizabeth fell in love countless times, each time ending in separation.

Escanor was born into loneliness, finding warmth in a maid who later sacrificed herself for him.

Ban found his reason to live only to lose it again.

King, despite his greatness, watched his loved ones disappear one by one.

Diane, rejected for disliking combat, bore the guilt of an unjust death.

Merlin, even with her brilliance, lost her sanctuary after defying gods.

And Gowther...

"What is this?" Gowther's vision blurred with snowy illusions. Amidst the monochrome flakes, a slender figure emerged. "Who are you? Why does it hurt so much?"

The mere sight of that figure brought agonizing pain to his chest, as if it were being torn open.

"Stop! Don't come closer!" Gowther pressed his hands to his head. "Something must be wrong. I just need to reset everything!"

"I once fought for an ordinary life. Though I failed from the start, it didn't feel so bad," Cyd said, seizing Gowther's trembling hands.

"I've felt true happiness—with family, friends, a wife, and countless people I couldn't thank enough. But those days are gone. In the cracks of time, friends died searching for me. My wife became a star in the sky. My family wandered the earth in loneliness. My caretakers fled in guilt. All this happened while I fought."

"For the first twenty years, I held onto the hope of a happy future with my loved ones. For the next twenty, I clung to every small, cherished memory. But as time passed, those memories turned into torment because I had already lost everything."

"Why didn't you erase the memories that caused you pain?" Gowther asked, tears streaming from his doll-like eyes.

"Because pain stems from happiness. If I forget the pain, I lose the happiness too."

Releasing Gowther's hands, Cyd stepped back.

"Pain can be erased, but happiness leaves indelible marks. Even seeing something related to it will bring it back."

"[Heart] is magic. Your magic can't conquer it. If your [Heart] can't overcome your magic, then I'll take responsibility until it does."

Gowther's lips twitched, a hint of his usual demeanor returning. "Then I'll just keep deleting until no trace of happiness remains."

"Gowther... are you trying to be funny?" Cyd's lips twitched, exasperation breaking through his calm demeanor.

"Then I'll just keep repeating your past to you like a broken record, starting from the most painful part every time."

"Vice-Captain... are you a devil?"

Cyd smacked Gowther's head, hefting [Reforged Pandora] onto his shoulder.

"My despair opened Pandora's box of hope. Now, I'll be the [Seven Deadly Sins'] box, bringing hope when you need it most."

Facing the sun, Cyd extended his hand to Gowther.

"I am the Vice-Captain of the [Seven Deadly Sins]."

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