I Wished for Non-Face-to-Face Lectures

I despaired and wailed over the fact that I could no longer eat strong-smelling spices like garlic, but the weakness experiments continued despite my sorrowful emotions.

I skipped the sunlight exposure test since I had already experienced it painfully in the morning, and I carefully tried reflecting my body in running water, but.

“…It’s just extremely unpleasant.”

Fortunately, it seemed that a different legend applied—”cannot cross running water”—because although I felt a strong aversion, I didn’t sense any threat to my life.

After the running water test, the next experiment was, naturally, my reaction to silver objects.

“Gweeeeeeck…”

Given that I was dry heaving just from getting close to it, directly touching it would probably lead to terrible results.

So I had no choice but to seal away all the silver spoons in the kitchen with tears in my eyes.

When I wore gloves to hold them, I could at least move them.

Anyway, after going through those long hours of suffering, I faced the final experiment.

As I prepared for “touching a crucifix,” I felt extreme hunger, perhaps because I had used too much energy.

“Since I’m a vampire, do I need to drink blood? No, maybe I can still eat food?”

Not being able to eat garlic is one thing, but being unable to eat any other food would be crossing the line.

Muttering quietly, I defiantly munched on some lettuce I took out of the refrigerator.

“…!”

Soon, I realized the joyful fact that this excellent body could consume foods other than blood.

Eureka!

“I can eat pork belly!”

It’s still depressing that I can’t eat it with stir-fried kimchi garnished with a bit of garlic, but!

At least they didn’t say I had to die completely!

Cheering, I quickly opened a delivery app to look for food.

What would be good?

But are there any foods in Korea that don’t include onions, garlic, and green onions?

“…”

Come to think of it, Korean cuisine was completely sealed off.

With tears welling up in my eyes, I chose sushi as my late-night meal option.

As long as I removed the strong-smelling wasabi, I should be able to eat it somehow.

“But speaking of sushi, I feel like I’m forgetting something important, though it might just be my imagination?”

What was it? I’m sure there was something related to numbers.

I tilted my head and looked at my notepad, but nothing particular stood out.

Well, it probably wasn’t important. It’s not a weakness that would endanger my life.

I lightly brushed it off and began the final experiment.

“…I hope I don’t vanish the moment I touch it.”

With a worried voice, I gently touched a “blunt” crucifix, but nothing happened to the finger that contacted it.

It’s okay to touch it? That’s a bit unexpected.

As I held the crucifix in my hand with curiosity—

Zap.

“Huh?”

Suddenly sparks erupted from the hand holding the crucifix, and powerful electricity mercilessly engulfed me.

“YOU TRICKED MEEEEE!!!”

When I threw the crucifix out the window due to the intense stimulation, only then did those damn sparks disappear.

I exhaled breathlessly from the dizzying pain throughout my body and collapsed weakly to the floor.

“The world is unfair to me.”

Perhaps becoming a woman had made me a little more emotional, because tears welled up in my eyes after enduring hardship I could have avoided.

I’m cold, tired, and hungry.

I wish the food would arrive soon.

How long did I wait endlessly for sushi while sprawled on the floor?

Just as I was getting tired of waiting, fortunately, the delivery person arrived at my door and rang the doorbell.

[Delivery!]

“Please leave it at the door!”

[Okay~]

The delivery person disappeared with a cheerful response.

I salivated as I brought the sushi the delivery person had left into the house.

“It looks so delicious…”

Food eaten after suffering is the most delicious in the world.

I was about to put a piece directly into my mouth, but.

Suddenly.

A question came to mind.

How many grains of rice are in this sushi?

“…Ah.”

Only then did I remember another vampire weakness I had forgotten.

Counting compulsion.

The insane instinct that, once you think you need to count something, you must sit there and count every single one.

“Ah, no.”

There were 12 pieces of sushi left, including this one.

“One… two… hiccup… three…”

Hell had arrived on earth.

[Became an orc warrior overnight. Not taking questions.]

(Roughly a picture of an orc lifting weights)

I was often told I looked like an orc, but what if I actually became one?

Fuck.

Likes! 182 Dislikes! 12

Aren’t you actually better looking now???

Honestly, comparing photos, there’s barely any difference between before and now, for real lol

Why did the gay fail at changing species…? Go reset quickly, it’s not too late yet!

But those muscles are seriously insane… How much can you lift?

The fact that you’re still lifting weights after changing shows you’re a true gym rat, damn

.

.

.

It had already been three days since I became a vampire.

After tremendous effort to adapt to this body, I gained a little bit of leisure.

Reading the novels I’d been putting off, doing some community browsing that I hadn’t done in three days.

I also checked to see if any new information about the alien species situation had been released, but unfortunately, only more unreliable hypotheses had been proposed, with almost no changes from three days ago.

Actually, there was more quality information in the newly established alien species community.

Information like how the luscious tail of a fox person is very soft, fluffy, and plush.

Or that an angel’s halo is detachable, so it can’t be used for fellatio.

Or the fact that orcs, unlike in adult manga, aren’t actually that sexually vigorous.

There were many trivial but interesting pieces of information, and I wasted a lot of time looking at them. When I came to my senses…

“…This is bad.”

The weekend when I was supposed to go to my parents’ home was fast approaching.

The time left until the weekend was two days, no, since midnight had passed, just one day.

I needed to start preparing, but.

“I don’t have… clothes to wear?”

I had absolutely no suitable clothes to wear!

That was obvious if I thought about it.

There was no way the current me, with a height of just 165cm, could handle clothes worn by my past self who boasted a superior height of 185cm.

It’s not that I hadn’t tried.

The boxer briefs were still wearable, so I thought other clothes might be okay too and tried them on, but.

How should I put it.

It looked like a kid wearing their dad’s clothes.

They’ll already be very worried when they see this frail body, and if I show up looking shabby with clothes that don’t even fit properly?

The result was predictable. I would once again face the annoying interference I had experienced right up until I joined the military.

“…I need to get clothes. And decent ones that suit this body.”

As they say, thoughts must be followed by action, so I tried to measure my body size first, but…

“How do I do this?”

What could a former man who had zero interest in women’s clothing do?

Naturally, I hit a roadblock before even starting.

“…”

I looked down at my phone silently, pondering.

Of course, there was exactly one person I could ask for help.

But asking that person for help carried a significant risk for me.

That person is an unmanageable weirdo.

However, a lesser evil was better than the worst option.

It’s better to suffer for a day and be comfortable for years than to suffer from parental interference for years, right?

After making up my mind, I immediately contacted them.

Even though it was early morning, they’d be having a good time, so they’d reply.

[Hey]

[Hey hey]

[Help me out.]

Perhaps curious about the rare private message, they immediately replied.

[?]

[What do you need help with at this late hour, you crazy bastard?]

My friend showed a rather prickly attitude, probably because I interrupted their happy time.

But I asked for help with an even more shameless attitude.

[If you have clothes you don’t wear, give them to me.]

[I need them for something.]

As soon as I sent the message, the notification number 1 disappeared.

And after a brief silence in the chat, messages started pouring in like machine gun fire.

[You were into that?]

[No, when did you start getting into crossdressing?]

[Don’t tell me you, in the military…?]

[Wow, fuck, I never imagined you’d be into this sort of thing.]

It’s not like that, you crazy woman.

I’m not asking because I want to, damn it.

How dare you treat a normal person like a gay man.

If I hesitated any longer, this insane woman would spread false rumors everywhere.

Since I absolutely couldn’t let that happen, I took a quick selfie and posted it in the chat.

(Roughly a picture of a vampire making a V sign with an awkward face)

[You know about the alien species situation, right?]

[I’ve become Hawawa, a discharged female high school student;;]

[The first part was a joke, but I’ve become a vampire, and if you don’t help me, I’ll have to visit my parents looking like this tomorrow.]

[Sorry for calling you late, but please help me just this once.]

[You know my parents’ personality—once they start worrying, they interfere endlessly.]

After leaving a serious message with the photo in the chat, my friend remained silent as if contemplating, then.

[OK I don’t understand what’s going on but I’ll come help.]

[Is your address still the same as before?]

[I’ll be there in 10 minutes, so wait for me.]

They replied that they would gladly help.

As expected, they’re loyal.

The feeling of being moved lifted the corners of my mouth, but it was short-lived as I suddenly began to feel uneasy.

It’s rare for them to agree so readily… Are they really coming to help after seeing a friend’s difficult situation?

As I was shivering with an inexplicable chill, I heard someone knocking on my apartment door, and.

I ran to open the door with joy, thinking my savior had arrived, but what appeared at the door wasn’t my friend, but.

“I’ve come to deliver good news.”

It was an unfamiliar angel, wearing a lecherous expression and carrying a pile of clothes.

…Who are you?