I Won't Be a Loser

In life, most people, during their childhood, will come across a woman who is a little different from the rest. She's a bit older than you, warm and lively, always looking after you. While keeping a certain distance, she sparks in you a curiosity about adulthood.

Her presence is unlike that of your peers. She stands out in your life and memories—special in a way no other woman is.

Growing up in Itomori, there weren't many playmates around for Haruto. Kids his age lived far apart—the nearest one was at least a thirty-minute bike ride away, making it an hour-long round trip.

For a boy like Haruto, time was precious. Unlike children who longed for companionship and didn't mind the effort, he wasn't the type to spend an hour just to visit a friend.

As a result, he rarely ventured far from home. His only playmates were his two younger sisters, and his days revolved around taking care of them—occasionally teasing Mitsuha for fun.

If there was anything unusual about his daily life, it would be his neighbor. A girl a few years older than him, though he couldn't recall her exact age anymore—he only remembered that she was older. Her name was Fujika Nono, and during school vacations, they would sometimes visit each other's homes.

Unlike boys and girls his age, who still felt somewhat immature, Fujika was on the verge of graduating high school. She and Haruto shared more common topics, and even when they simply sat together in silence, it never felt lonely. Time seemed to slow down in her presence.

One late summer afternoon, with the season's end approaching, Mitsuha and Yotsuha were still napping at home. Sleepy himself, Haruto sat under the eaves, gazing at the bright sun. The sharp glare made him squint, instantly driving away his drowsiness.

Turning back inside, he glanced at his younger sisters—Mitsuha was mumbling in her sleep, while Yotsuha, despite being fast asleep, was still sensitive enough to instinctively swat Mitsuha's hand away whenever she reached out to touch her.

Haruto sighed softly, stood up, and walked to the kitchen. Pouring himself a glass of cold water, he then stepped out of the house.

The sun's heat was suffocating, and the chorus of cicadas rang in his ears. Wearing nothing but a light t-shirt and shorts, Haruto trudged towards his neighbor's house in his flip-flops.

Even after a short walk, he could already feel himself being baked by the summer heat. He reached out to press the doorbell, only to find it burning hot under his fingertip.

No response came from inside.

Frowning slightly, Haruto slid the door open.

"I'm coming in."

Still, no reply.

He stepped inside, kicked off his flip-flops, and walked barefoot across the wooden floor. Entering the living room, he saw the television on, an electric fan oscillating back and forth, and Fujika lying lazily on a tatami mat, half-asleep.

Even after hearing him enter, she didn't bother to look up. Instead, she turned over, burying her face into a pillow.

"So sleepy… When will this summer ever end?"

"It's still the height of summer. It'll cool down a little next month, but by September or October, it should feel much better."

"...Mmm."

Muffled in her pillow, Fujika lifted her head slightly and blinked at him.

"When did you get here?"

"Just now."

"Didn't hear you at all. That's breaking and entering! Now you owe me an ice pop, or I'll have to arrest you."

"Then that would be illegal confinement, which means you'd be committing a crime, too."

Sitting down beside her, Haruto reached out and poked her soft cheek with his fingertip. Fujika turned her head slightly, giving him a sidelong glance before suddenly rolling over and pressing him down onto the floor.

Like an octopus wrapping around its prey, she wrapped her arms around him tightly, rubbing her cheek against his, catching him completely off guard.

Letting out a long sigh, Haruto gave a token struggle before turning his face to the side, only to meet Fujika's gaze.

"It's summer, you know. Don't you feel hot?"

"It is hot, and you're all sweaty, but I don't mind~" she teased.

A radiant, mischievous smile spread across her face, one that he had never quite seen before. Haruto suddenly felt a little unsettled.

Because of how close they were, he could pick up the faint fragrance on her mixed with a trace of sweat, making his mind go blank for a moment.

It was summer, after all. Neither of them was wearing much. With their bodies pressed together, he could feel the softness of her smooth skin, the warmth of her slender arms, the slight tickle of her breath against his ear, and the gentle pressure of her toned, porcelain thighs.

Even though he wasn't exactly a kid anymore, Haruto felt his throat go dry.

Fujika Nono gazed at the boy before her, her eyes drifting downward without realizing it. After a moment, she let out a soft chuckle.

"Haruto, you're not a kid anymore, are you?"

"No, I'm just a kid," he replied instinctively, feeling her eyes on him.

But Fujika simply smiled, leaning in close until her lips were at his ear. In a low, teasing whisper, she asked,

"Then… do you want to become an adult?"

Memories from the past, tinged with complex emotions, surfaced in his mind. Haruto's eyes snapped open. He pressed a hand to his chest, sitting up abruptly, drawing in deep breaths. A faint sadness crossed his face.

"A memory from the past…?"

It wasn't unusual for him to dream of that summer, but it had been a long time—nearly ten years, in fact. So why had this memory suddenly come back to him now?

It had been so long since that summer ended. After that, he had barely seen Fujika again. It wasn't that he didn't want to—it was just complicated. He wasn't sure what he would say to her if they met again.

Besides, she had gone off to university, leaving Itomori behind. She rarely returned home. If he remembered correctly… she was in Tokyo now?

But despite living in Tokyo himself for almost a decade, he had never once run into her. The city was just too big, the people too many. Searching for someone he hadn't seen in years amidst the sea of faces was nearly impossible.

"Even after all this time… I'm still dreaming about those days?"

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair before pulling back the covers. Slowly, he got up and made his way to the bathroom.

After a quick wash, he checked the fridge for ingredients, put together a simple breakfast, and ate alone. Once he finished cleaning up, he got dressed, slipped on his shoes, and stepped out of his apartment.

Locking the door behind him, he thought back to the day he lost his clothes. Ever since then, he had made a habit of drying his laundry indoors.

"Guess I should be grateful the thief wasn't a burglar…"

Letting out another sigh, he made his way downstairs.

At the side of the road, he spotted Sekai Saionji. He gave her a small nod of acknowledgment but didn't approach. Instead, he simply continued walking toward school.

Sekai had made a habit of waiting outside the Kiyoura family's house each morning, just to have a few extra moments to chat with him. But today, Haruto didn't stop to talk—he just walked past her without a word.

She watched him go, her lips pressing together slightly. Seeing him act so distant caught her off guard. As his figure disappeared down the road, she lowered her gaze, feeling a hint of disappointment settle in her heart.

When Haruto arrived at school, he walked to the lockers and pulled out his indoor shoes. Just as he was about to change into them, he caught sight of a shadow approaching him from the corner of his eye.

Haruto glanced to his side and saw Yoshida Saki approaching hesitantly. She clutched her schoolbag in one hand while the fingers of her other hand nervously fidgeted in front of her. Her expression was uncertain, as if she were gathering her courage.

"Yoshida-san? Good morning," he greeted her.

"Ah… um! G-Good morning, Miyamizu-kun! Uh… hello."

Seeing her mix of surprise and excitement, Haruto gave her a small smile. He slipped on his indoor shoes, placed his outdoor ones into his locker, and turned to leave.

"I'm heading to class. See you later."

"Y-Yeah, see you, Miyamizu-kun!"

As she watched him walk away, Saki beamed. He hadn't shown any sign of annoyance—on the contrary, he had greeted her kindly. That small kindness filled her with happiness. As she changed into her own indoor shoes, she followed his path to class, her steps feeling lighter as if the whole world had brightened.

Unaware of how much his small gesture had meant to her, Haruto entered the classroom. Noticing that Eriri and Ichika hadn't arrived yet, he took his seat, set his bag down, and pulled out the book he had been reading. Flipping it open, he quietly immersed himself in the pages.

At lunchtime, he declined Ichika's invitation and left the classroom alone.

As always, he found a quiet spot in the school courtyard where no one else was around. Sitting on a bench, he unwrapped a rice ball and punctured the foil seal of his juice box with a straw. He took a bite, looking up at the sky, enjoying the peace of eating alone—until his gaze inadvertently landed on a girl sitting not far away.

Unlike the other students, she wore a white lab coat over her uniform. She sat quietly on a bench across from him, holding a carton of milk in her hands. Something about her posture and expression made her seem lonely.

Perhaps he had been staring too long, because the girl furrowed her brows slightly and turned to face him.

"Excuse me, but is there a reason you're staring at me?"

"No, I was just surprised to see someone else sitting here alone," Haruto admitted.

"You're alone too, aren't you?"

Her voice was calm, void of emotion, and her response made him pause.

"Fair enough," he conceded with a small nod. "Still, isn't lunchtime usually spent in the cafeteria or classroom?"

"There are always exceptions. Or are you saying you're not normal?"

"Are you on a diet?" he asked absentmindedly, glancing at her carton of milk.

The moment the words left his mouth, silence stretched between them.

Then—

Gurgle—

A loud stomach growl broke the quiet.

The girl's cheeks instantly flushed red. She lowered her head in embarrassment, clearly wishing she could disappear.

Haruto blinked in surprise. He hadn't expected her hunger to be so audible.

Was he hearing things? He kept looking at her, but she abruptly turned her head away, refusing to meet his gaze.

"...…"

He glanced down at the extra rice ball beside him.

Would one be enough to fill her up?

Her stomach had already given away her hunger.

After a brief hesitation, he stood up and walked toward the girl in the lab coat.

Futaba Rio sighed in frustration.

She had forgotten to pack a bento that morning, so she had gone to the school shop, hoping to grab some bread for lunch. But when she arrived, the place was overflowing with students—mostly boys, with a handful of girls struggling to squeeze through the chaos. Seeing the frantic expressions on their faces, she had hesitated.

She could have gone to the cafeteria, but sitting there alone felt unbearable. She wasn't exactly popular in class and didn't have anyone to eat with. So instead, she had bought a carton of milk from a vending machine and retreated to the courtyard.

And now, to make things worse, someone had seen her like this.

Her stomach, betraying her completely, had growled in front of him.

Humiliation and frustration churned inside her as she clenched her pale hands into fists.

—I want to disappear…