I’m a Villainess, Can I Die?

I kept my eyes closed, but I wasn’t asleep. I had simply closed my eyes, feeling unusually comfortable.
Before long, the song ended, and a tremendous round of applause erupted from all directions. The noise, like an alarm, startled me, and I opened my eyes.
When I opened them, Aiden, with his face flushed as if he had just been talking to me, was clapping while gazing only at the stage.

I guess he really liked it.
I turned my head to glance at the stage. The singers on stage were bowing politely to the audience. When the curtain finally fell, and the performers disappeared behind it,
"Selina."

Lukas lightly tapped the armrest and called my name.
"What is it?"
Lukas, without answering right away, studied my face quietly and then spoke.

"You look tired. Should we head back?"
Tired, huh… I was indeed tired. But I was always tired. My body wasn’t in the best condition, so it couldn’t be helped. But I didn’t feel any desire to exercise.
After all, I was going to die in four years anyway... Why did my thoughts drift to this direction all of a sudden?

In any case, I was always tired, so looking tired was just a normal state for me.
"No."
If I had really wanted to go home, I would have set everything aside and returned immediately, but right now, I felt like I could stay out a little longer.

Besides, today, my goal wasn’t just the opera. For that reason, I definitely shouldn’t be heading home just yet.
When I said I wasn’t going home, Lukas raised an eyebrow in surprise.
"I see, Selina."

However, Lukas didn’t say anything further, just nodded and agreed with me.
Having decided to stay out a little longer, I shifted my gaze slightly to look at my primary target for today—Jacob. As soon as our eyes met, Jacob, still seemingly full of energy, winked at me again.
I wonder when Jacob will realize that his winking is really not attractive.
"Is the cake to your liking?"

"Yes, it’s delicious."
The green tea cake really was delicious.
To be honest, I’ve had much more extravagant desserts at the Duke’s house… but this one wasn’t bad either.

Moreover, the time of day seemed a little ambiguous, so the quiet atmosphere of the café was just right for me.
"I’m glad to hear that."
Jacob smiled widely, his mood obviously elevated. He looked the happiest he had all day.

It made sense. After all, it was just the two of us at this table. If you looked at it from a formal standpoint, this was exactly the kind of date he had been hoping for.
Aiden and Lukas were probably enjoying their cakes and tea at a table a bit farther from ours.
It was uncomfortable, yet amusing to think about.

In reality, I didn’t really want to sit alone with Jacob and eat cake. But for the sake of accomplishing today’s goal, there was no other choice.
After a light meal, when I said I wanted to have tea alone with Jacob, everyone had different reactions.
Jacob was so happy he didn’t know what to do, blinking his eyes incessantly as if there was a sandstorm. Aiden silently stared at me, his expression stiff. Lukas whispered in my ear, warning me that this wasn’t a good idea.

"Are you deceiving your family again?"
His face was stern. It almost reminded me of the way the noble peacock used to glare at me. Seeing it from the front, it felt quite new.
This was the face that had made the noble peacock lower its tail so quickly.

Feeling a bit of kinship with that peacock, I shook my head.
"I’m not deceiving anyone. I just want to have a personal conversation. Don’t worry, I’m not running off."
Even though I spoke calmly, Lukas still looked like he didn’t believe me.

How did I become someone so hard to trust?
To be honest, I wouldn’t trust someone like me either.
"If you’re that worried, you can sit at that table and keep an eye on me."

And Lukas, as if on cue, actually did sit at another table to keep watch on me.
At this point, being watched wasn’t any more unnatural to me than basic needs like food, clothing, and shelter.
Thinking back to what had just happened, I silently ate my cake when Jacob spoke again.

"Lady, with you sitting here, the whole world seems like a beautiful place."
I almost spat out the green tea cake.
No, honestly, I think a tiny piece might have fallen to the floor beneath my feet.

This man truly had a natural talent for making people feel utterly uncomfortable.
He looked fine on the outside… but as they say, you can’t judge a person by their appearance.
I just wanted to get today’s goal over with and go home to sleep.

The reason I came to meet Jacob today and sat alone with him, sending Lukas and Aiden to a different table, was to resolve a small doubt.
The truth was, I had known Jacob since the greenhouse party when we first met.
The reason was simple: this "Jacob" was a character from the novel.

In the novel, Jacob appeared when Selina was 22, during the height of her villainy. By that time, Selina’s bad actions had caused people to drift away from her, and the person who appeared just then—his name was Jacob.
Though he might sound like an important figure from this explanation, he was actually a low-tier character, using flattery and charm to try to manipulate the wealthy Selina. But in the end, Selina smacked him down and he quietly left the scene.
Vivian, being quick on the gossip, might have heard something about Jacob’s unsavory reputation.

Though there were bad rumors, nothing was confirmed, so it was difficult for anyone to speak openly.
Even so, Jacob had tried to hint at something to me... Vivian... you...
The reason I was playing along with Jacob, despite knowing about his hidden motives, was simply because of one reason.

I had a small doubt about Jacob’s constant, relentless confessions.
Why, I wondered, was this side character who didn’t appear until Selina was 22 showing up three years earlier than expected and trying to seduce me?
Well, the story had already started to deviate from its original plot. When my brother got engaged to the Empress, wasn’t that the end of the game?

Even so, the doubt lingered, and I couldn’t shake it.
This translation is the intellectual property of .
If the story had completely diverged, shouldn’t Jacob’s behavior also be something that never happened?

Yeah, that was the question.
So, to try and get some answers to this question, I had decided to go along with Jacob’s advances. But now it felt like I had only wasted my time.
Because, when I thought about it, there wasn’t really any way to find the answer.

I couldn’t ask him directly why he was trying to seduce me now, and I couldn’t ask when he decided to start.
Even if I asked, there was no way he would answer honestly.
It felt like I was just wasting time, and with a frustrated sigh, I stirred my tea with a teaspoon, when once again, Jacob opened his mouth.

"Lady Selina, have you thought about my confession?"
"Hmm. Is the relationship between nobles so simple...?"
It is. It’s easy.

At least for me, it is. If I say I like a man, my family would say, "Oh my! Selina likes someone!" and they would accept it right away.
Of course, that would change if the man before me had the same dirty intentions as Jacob.
He seemed to see an opening in my ambiguous response, his eyes gleaming with desire.

It seemed he was looking for some kind of opportunity in my vague answer... how pitiful.
"Indeed. But true love overcomes all hardships and adversity. Don’t you hear the cries of my heart for you, Selina?"
What nonsense.

I might be a bit shameless compared to others, but this man had no sense of shame at all.
Saying something like “cries of my heart” in a public space. Of course, this is the same person who remembers how long ago he ate an orange.
I felt embarrassed just listening, but Jacob looked at me without a hint of shame, his eyes burning with desire.

"The cries of your heart…? I hear it. Very clearly, in fact. It’s as strong as the neighbor’s puppy’s cries. That little one also cried like that when it wanted something..."
I tried to match Jacob’s poetic style and spin something out, but he didn’t seem to understand.
That wasn’t all.

"Neighbor’s puppy?"
"The puppy."
Jacob’s face twisted, like someone had just stared at him in an odd way.

Jacob, seriously, even if you’re like that, you still need to manage your expression. This is how you upset people.
They say when I do something, it’s romance, but when someone else does it, it’s an affair... That’s exactly the situation now.
My questions, my doubts—Jacob was just... better left not knowing about them.

Sometimes, it’s more beautiful to leave a question as just that: a question.
Yeah, that’s right.
Jacob was too big of a person to be figured out by me.

Even the male protagonists in romance novels would probably kneel before his lines.
I decided to give up on this terrifying man.
His constant blinking and his use of flowery, nature-based language was already exhausting.

"I don’t know what a puppy is, but… you’re joking, right?"
However, unlike me, Jacob hadn’t given up on me yet. How persistent he was... Well, nobles do tend to have a bird-like nature. The peacock noble, the sparrow friend. As for me, I’m the magpie who repays kindness.
After all, the magpie is the best among birds.

Anyway, having decided to give up on Jacob, I firmly refused to get further entangled with him.
In novels, people often offer a chance to back off and then tell them not to approach again… but that was something for the old Selina to do.
It doesn’t suit someone like me, the pacifist.

While I was thinking over all of this, I remembered the document I had tucked into my small handbag.
It was something I had prepared just in case, though I never imagined I would actually need it.
Jacob… You really are quite an unexpected person…

"Yes. I was joking. But, I didn’t realize you thought that much of me. You know, words are fleeting, so it’s hard to believe them, right?"
I shrugged casually, and Jacob nodded, agreeing with me. But contrary to his words, his eyes were still shifting, confused.
‘What is she talking about?’

His eyes seemed to be saying that. It felt almost satisfying, like Jacob was finally starting to feel my mood.
"So, I was wondering… would you mind writing something down for me? Then I’ll seriously consider your feelings."