I’m Just a Counselor

‘Why suddenly…? Did I say something wrong?’

 

I looked at him, not knowing why he was suddenly frowning.

 

Jeremiah gritted his teeth slightly and seemed to be cutting his emotions to himself, while a few knights and privates passed by his side.

 

He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, seemingly suppressing something that was churning inside him, and after a few moments, he finally opened them.

 “I was in a hurry to get here, so I didn’t call for a carriage. Do you know how to ride a horse?” “I’ve never ridden before.” “Well, as long as you don’t fall off by yourself, you’ll be fine.” 

Before I could even ask what that meant, Jeremiah grabbed me around the waist.

 Bam! 

I reflexively hugged his neck, startled by the sudden heightened visibility.

 

Jeremiah paused for a moment, then sat me down on his horse.

 “Hold on to this.” 

He slid the reins of the horse to me, and then he slid off of me.

 

As I clutched the reins, helpless, with nowhere else to turn, Jeremiah, who had seemed to be moving away, leaped onto the horse.

 

His hard chest touched my back. Jeremiah’s warm breath brushed against the side of my cheek.

 

I tensed, but in a different way.

 

‘We’re just riding horses together…’

 

What better way to go home with someone who doesn’t have a carriage and doesn’t know how to ride.

 

I would have done this even if it was any other rider, not Jeremiah. So there’s no need to be nervous about our newfound proximity…

 “No, but they have a wagon, don’t they?” 

Is the carriage I rode in when I came here… a piece of evidence, so I can’t ride in it, or is it some sort of chivalric code that says I’m human and can’t ride in a carriage?

 

As I muttered to myself and struggled to loosen my grip on the reins, Jeremiah whispered in my ear.

 “Just lean back against me.” “…….” 

His low voice made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. My hands tightened back into fists as I tried to relax.

 

I bit my lip, not daring to turn my face toward Jeremiah.

 “Do you think I can lean back…?” 

As I muttered to myself, Jeremiah grabbed my hand. Or, more precisely, he overlapped my hand and grabbed the reins.

 

I heard a small whinny from the horse, which I recognized as the black horse from before.

 

Jeremiah whispered to me again.

 “Don’t worry, you won’t fall off.” “That’s… Good luck.” 

I managed to reply, but I still couldn’t lean back against him as easily as Jeremiah had said.

 

I had no choice but to lean on the horse with all my strength, and of course it didn’t take long before I was shaking all over.

 

‘So this is what horseback riding is like.’

 

Shoulders, back, thighs, hips. There was nothing left to spare. And the wind was so cold that even my facial muscles seemed to be freezing.

 

When I was finally on the verge of tears, Jeremiah must have noticed my doughy state and slowed his horse even more.

 

Jeremiah let out a faint sigh, his pride defeating my desperate efforts to avoid creating an embarrassing situation.

 

I cringed at his unnecessary pinpointing, but I didn’t dare turn my head away. In a way, I felt sorry for Jeremiah.

 

If we were going at our normal speed, we’d be at the castle already.

 

Jeremiah is a very good rider.

‘But I’m not even half as good as he is, and we’re going so slowly…’

 

I’m sure Jeremiah can’t wait to get home from work and see Estella.

 

I cringed, feeling like I was being a nuisance.

 

But before I could dwell on it, Jeremiah released his grip on the reins and wrapped his arms around my waist.

 

My eyes widened in surprise at the sudden touch, and I cried out, the cold momentarily forgotten.

 “Duke, what are you doing!” “I understand that Miss Vanessa is trying to protect her pride, but you keep doing it, and it makes me uncomfortable.” 

Jeremiah stopped his horse at the side of the road and used his other hand to unbutton the jacket I was wearing. His touch was gentle and attentive as he meticulously re-buttoned my jacket.

 “I’m doing this because you seem cold.” 

His warmth still lingered in the jacket, and I shrunk back slightly as it and Jeremiah’s distinctive scent seemed to wrap around my shoulders in a new way.

 

I fiddled with the hem of my jacket, then turned to Jeremiah.

 “But… the Duke isn’t cold?” “Apparently, Miss Vanessa is from the Islands. You’d be laughed at in Loasen if you said it was this cold.” 

Jeremiah said bluntly. I shook my head and pulled on the hem of my robe.

 

Only when I was organized enough did Jeremiah take hold of the reins again with one hand, and with the other he pressed his body against mine, so that the back of my head was pressed tightly against his ribcage.

 

I could feel Jeremiah’s chest rise and fall. I squeezed my eyes shut.

 “Relax your back, I won’t tell Estella.” “Hey, what are you bringing up Estella here!” “Aren’t you just stroking your ego because you don’t want to say something embarrassing to Estella?” 

I was about to let her know that I wasn’t stroking my ego, but then I stopped.

 

‘Jeremiah is uncomfortable too…’

 

I didn’t want to embarrass him further here. Eventually, I gave in and leaned into his body.

 

Jeremiah chuckled lowly as I pulled away. The vibration traveled up my back and it felt strange. It was almost as if I was laughing.

 “Estella was very worried about you, Miss Vanessa.” 

Jeremiah said, trying to ease my remaining tension. I shook my head no this time.

 

Jeremiah’s body was warm, and from what he said, this cold was nothing to him as a northerner.

 

‘Almost a human stove.’

 

I’d been so focused elsewhere that I hadn’t even realized how warm my body was, with such warm, firm arms around my back.

 

As soon as I realized it, the embarrassment I’d been feeling disappeared, replaced by a desire to be this comfortable.

 

I relaxed even more, resting my head against Jeremiah’s chest.

 

Jeremiah still had one arm around my waist, and he drove the horse with only one hand.

 

I felt like we were going faster than before, and it was obviously more comfortable for him. I let go.

 “I can’t soothe her, so Miss Vanessa had better go and soothe Estella.” 

Jeremiah’s arm around my waist felt so trustworthy, like he would never let go of me, no matter what.

 Dag-dag, dag-dag. 

The sound of horses’ hooves echoed through the empty streets.

 

Leaning against him, I felt fleshier and even had the presence of mind to respond to his words.

 “What about the Duke?” “What about me?” “Just… was the Duke worried about me, don’t you mind if I don’t comfort you?” 

I asked, somewhat playfully, but Jeremiah was speechless for a moment, as if he was confused.

 

He seemed to take my words seriously, which made me feel embarrassed.

 “Don’t try to comfort me.” 

It was probably not the best thing to say to a twenty-four-year-old man.

 “But you’re secretly upset, aren’t you?” 

Unlike Jeremiah, I’m a vulnerable little citizen who needs to be worried about.

 

Jeremiah still hadn’t answered me, and I hadn’t told him that I was worried about him.

 

It was as if he had come to me only because of Estella.

 

I even said earlier that I trusted Jeremiah to save me.

 

Even if I hadn’t really been worried about anything, I could have replied that I was, even if it was just an empty threat.

 

As I pouted my lips at his demeanor, Jeremiah’s small voice whispered in my ear.

 “I was worried.” 

Jeremiah whispered, as if he were telling me something intimate.

 “I was worried, Vanessa.” “…….” “I wonder how you’d soothe me if I told you I needed soothing.” 

Jeremiah seemed to add the last part as a joke, but…

 

Feeling more embarrassed than I thought I would, I squirmed in his arms and kept my mouth shut. Somehow, I felt like I was giving and receiving.

 

* * *

 

When Jeremiah and I finally arrived at the castle, everyone else had already arrived.

 

We were the first to leave and the last to arrive. It was a testament to Jeremiah’s patience.

 

After another apologetic glance at him, I finally turned to face Estella.

 

She was nervously biting her nails, and as soon as she saw me, she ran to me.

 “Vanessa!” 

Estella’s face was already wet and damp with tears, but when she saw me, she started crying again.

 

I soothed her with a confused look on my face. I don’t think anyone could have known that this outing would end like this.