I’m Leaving the Villainess Station

Chapter 25

Raina burst into tears like a child at my words.

“I know… I know, but I’m scared. I’m so scared. I keep telling myself that I have to do it, that I need to do it, but I just can’t. I’m terrified. I always knew no one liked me, but I didn’t realize it was this bad.”

Her voice trembled with emotion.

“Every time I think about stepping into that house, I feel like I’m going to die. Just the thought of it makes me so scared that I can’t stop crying. But I can’t run away… I can’t escape. I love Bern. I love him so much. I don’t want to run away. I can’t. But… I don’t have the courage… I have no courage…”

For a moment, I felt strange.

She knew. She knew that entering that house was practically a death sentence.

I thought she was too blinded by her desires to realize it.

Her cheeks were cold from crying so much, and dark circles shadowed her eyes. She looked at me with desperate hope, like she was grasping for something to hold onto.

“Lady Carmilla, I’ll be okay, right?”

Raina looked up at me like a lost child, her eyes filled with fragile hope.

“Please tell me to be brave. Tell me to move forward. If you say it, I think I’ll be able to do it…”

Tears streamed down her face as she pleaded for me to push her forward.

I was at a loss for words.

Why was she asking me? Why me, of all people?

Could she not decide this on her own?

It felt strange. Just moments ago, I had been pleased—satisfied that she would take my place in that house and meet her end. It would have been so easy to say one simple sentence, yet I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

Acting directly was one thing, but being asked to tell someone to walk toward their death was different. My mouth wouldn’t open.

Humans are such contradictory creatures.

I felt sick to my stomach.

Raina and I were completely incompatible.

I couldn’t imagine a person more different from me. At least with Bern, I could wholeheartedly hate him.

“Don’t call me ‘Lady’ anymore. You’ve taken an Armen family name, haven’t you? Call me ‘Miss Carmilla’ instead.”

After saying that, I looked at her as if I had seen something terrifying, my face pale, before turning away.

“It seems today isn’t the right day. I’ll come back once you’ve composed yourself. Don’t you have to choose your dress and prepare for your debut in society? You don’t seem to be in the right state for that today.”

As I left the room, I added, “Send a word when you’re feeling better.”

Once I stepped outside, I leaned against the wall, struggling to catch my breath.

I felt suffocated.

On my way home, I muttered in exhaustion, “Maybe I should have the head maid or the steward handle the rest… Let them take care of everything from now on.”

My voice was barely more than a whisper.

“Why did she look at me like that? Why… Why did she look at me with those eyes? Like a fool who doesn’t know where to cling…”

I clutched my head, whispering to myself.

“Like a fish caught on a hook, as if she already knows everything…”

A chill ran through my heart.

I hated her. I truly did.

The way she dumped all the guilt onto me, refusing to even be a proper villain—it was selfish beyond words.

But could I forgive her? Could I truly forgive her?

The answer was clear: not.

In my ears, I could hear the cries of a child I had never even met. It echoed inside me, seeping into my heart like blood.

Unless I got that life back, even if I had to play the villain again, forgiveness was impossible.

With a cold expression, I whispered, “It’s your fault. There’s nothing I can do.”

Despite some disturbances, everything proceeded smoothly.

“Choosing the dresses and registering her for the ball won’t take long.”

I checked over the plans and murmured, “The real problem is her.”

Raina seemed calmer now, but her eyes were still swollen from crying when she appeared at times.

Yet, something must have happened while she was left alone. She was trying to act composed.

If she could stand on her own, that was enough.

I disliked the idea of pointing out her swollen eyes. It felt like it would drag me into her emotions more than I wanted.

I didn’t feel like I was bullying someone weaker than me.

Because my heart was already overflowing with all the garbage Raina and Bern had discarded.

I had too much of their leftover trash—the waste of their love—piled up inside me.

They had pushed me to the edge and turned me into a heap of trash until I was on the verge of death.

I survived not because they showed me mercy but because of a miracle. And because I had fought with everything I had to seize that miracle.

So I said just one thing.

“What you do in your daily life is your business. But at least don’t come to your debut with swollen eyes. Unless, of course, you want to embarrass me on purpose.”

The maid holding up a dress against Raina flinched and glanced at me nervously.

But Raina looked straight at me, her voice steady.

“Alright. I won’t.”

Her gaze was clear, but for some reason, it unsettled me.

I didn’t know why.

Maybe I just hated her so much that everything about her irritated me.

Half confused, half annoyed, I asked her, “By the way, has Bern said anything about how miserable you look lately?”

Raina stood like a delicate canary among the dresses and boxes. Her pale face seemed drained of life.

I hesitated, unsure how to describe it, before settling on a neutral phrasing.

“…Has he said anything about how down you seem?”

Raina clamped her lips shut.

Her pale cheeks, framed by soft red lips, tensed as if she was holding something back.

That subtle stubbornness in her eyes was different from before.

It was as if she had suddenly become more human-like pressing on an old wound and seeing a reaction.

“This is my problem,” she said. “Bern has his burdens to carry.”

She sounded instinctively defensive, like a mother bird shielding its chick.

The moment she finished speaking, however, she looked surprised at herself and fell silent.

I was surprised too. Not annoyed—just surprised.

I widened my eyes slightly and took another look at her.

Suddenly, I remembered the first time I saw her at the orphanage.

She had seemed completely clueless, yet out of nowhere, she had spoken with conviction:

“If I let my fear show, Bern will suffer more. So I’ll be okay.”

Until now, I had assumed Bern was simply protecting her.

But maybe… their relationship was slightly different from what I thought.

Out of nowhere, I asked, “Raina, when it’s just you and Bern, what do you two usually do?”

Raina blinked in confusion.

“…What?”

I simply waited for her to answer.

Under the silent pressure, she hesitated before speaking.

“We just talk. About little things that happened during the day. Or sometimes, he plays the piano, and I sing along.”

As she spoke, a faint smile appeared on her face.

“He used to be great at the violin, but because of sword training, his hands have stiffened. Now, he doesn’t play string instruments anymore. He says it frustrates him to hear how bad his playing has become.”

She glanced at me nervously.

“Was that too trivial of an answer?”

I stared at her blankly before shaking my head.

“No. I asked, so don’t worry about it.”

In truth, I wasn’t even curious anymore.

I had just wondered what Bern was doing when he wasn’t coming home.

Now, hearing her answer, I felt nothing.

All those years of wondering, imagining their time together, had suddenly lost meaning.

It was as if the lock that had kept me chained was never locked in the first place.

And somehow, that realization felt freeing.