Kushina Uzumaki The Sage Of The Yuri Path

The tension inside the Raikage's office was suffocating. The walls of Kumogakure's grandest administrative building, usually adorned with symbols of strength and victory, felt more like a prison as the humiliated shinobi squad stood before their furious leader.

The Fourth Raikage, a towering, broad-shouldered man known for his explosive temper and overwhelming physical strength, sat behind his massive desk, his knuckles grinding into the wood as he processed the sheer absurdity of what he had just heard.

Before him, Hoshikawa, the once-proud squad leader of Kumo's elite retrieval unit, stood rigid, his face a mix of shame and lingering terror. The bruises on his jaw, the seal marks that had only recently faded from his skin, and the collective humiliation of his entire squad singing like a band of drunken minstrels at the gates of Kumo were still fresh wounds.

The Raikage's eye twitched. "So, let me get this straight," he said, his voice dangerously calm. "You, one of my top jonin, were sent to capture a three-year-old. A literal child. And instead of returning with the Hyūga heiress, you came back…" He squeezed his temples, inhaling sharply. "…singing?"

Hoshikawa winced. "L-Lord Raikage, I—"

SLAP!

The thunderous smack echoed through the chamber as the Raikage's open palm collided with Hoshikawa's face, sending him staggering sideways. The other squad members visibly flinched, but no one dared move.

"That wasn't just a punishment from me," the Raikage said, shaking out his palm as if disgusted by the very contact, "but from all men! You disgrace us all!" His voice boomed like a thunderclap, rattling the very walls of his office.

The female shinobi from the village glared at her male counterparts. "Yeah, what the hell? She was a kid! I want to die of second-hand embarrassment just standing next to you!"

Hoshikawa clenched his fists. "It wasn't just any kid! She wasn't normal!"

The Raikage's eye twitched again. "Oh? So now you're telling me that the legendary warriors of Kumogakure were undone by some kind of demon child?"

"No, my lord," Hoshikawa said quickly, swallowing hard. "She… she fought like no one I've ever encountered." He hesitated, glancing nervously at his teammates before continuing. "At first, we thought she was just another shinobi, maybe an early prodigy, but…" He shook his head, his hands trembling slightly. "She didn't fight like a normal ninja. She used… seals. But not like the Uzumaki Sealing Chains from the stories. These chains were different."

The Raikage narrowed his eyes. "Different how?"

Hoshikawa exhaled slowly, as if struggling to describe something beyond words. "They were… alive, almost. They radiated this strange, serene energy. I've fought chakra chains before, but these weren't just chains. They felt like…" His brow furrowed. "Like they weren't meant to restrain, but to harmonize. Like they were connected to something deeper than just chakra. It wasn't like anything I've ever seen before."

The Raikage drummed his fingers on his desk. "Are you telling me she used a new form of sealing jutsu?"

"I don't know," Hoshikawa admitted. "But whatever it was, it was beyond anything our team could counter."

The Raikage let out a deep breath, trying to process the ridiculousness of it all. "So, let me summarize: you and your team were crushed by a little girl who fights like a wandering priest, got your chakra sealed away, were forced to march home like prisoners." He inhaled deeply, his nostrils flaring in pure outrage. "She called herself the—what was it?"

Another squad member, who had been visibly shaking since entering the office, gulped. "T-The Yuri Knight, my lord…"

Silence.

The Raikage's eyebrow twitched so violently it could've powered a small lightning bolt.

"The YURI KNIGHT?" His fist slammed into his desk, splitting the thick wood clean in half as the room shook from the sheer force of his frustration.

The shinobi squad collectively tensed.

"Who in the history of the shinobi world," the Raikage bellowed, "HAS EVER HEARD OF A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN WOMEN BEING A SYMBOL OF POWER?!"

One of the squad members flinched. "T-Technically, Lord Raikage, that's not—"

SLAP!

Another thunderous smack sent the ninja sprawling onto the floor. The remaining shinobi took a step away from the blast radius.

The Raikage turned to the female kunoichi in the squad. "And you! You're telling me a group of grown, elite shinobi from Kumo lost to a twelve-year-old with a fake knight title?!"

"She wasn't twelve!" the kunoichi blurted out before she could stop herself. "She was five!"

Silence.

Absolute.

Silence.

The Raikage's eye twitched violently. "Five?!"

Hoshikawa closed his eyes, bracing for the impact.

The Raikage took a deep breath, as if desperately trying to find a single ounce of patience left within him. "And tell me," he said, his voice deceptively calm. "Why—why, in the name of the gods above—did you come back singing?"

The squad looked at each other, pale-faced, before Hoshikawa finally muttered, "The seal… forced us to sing."

The Raikage leaned forward, his hands pressing onto the broken remains of his desk. "She made you sing?"

They nodded miserably.

"And the song?"

Another shinobi cleared his throat awkwardly. "It was… our own war anthem, my lord."

The Raikage froze.

The entire room froze.

Then, very, very slowly, the Raikage stood up, turned away from them, and faced the massive window overlooking the village.

He took a long, deep breath, his muscles tensing visibly, his fingers twitching slightly. The shinobi squad watched in horror as they saw the muscles in his shoulders start to bulge from sheer frustration.

Yuumi had said Raven's tricks would leave a lasting impression—but even she probably didn't predict this.

Then, without warning—

"AAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!"

The Raikage's roar of pure rage shook the entire building, a shockwave of fury rolling through the halls. Somewhere in the village, a glass window cracked spontaneously.

Several shinobi outside the office ran for their lives, knowing all too well that the Raikage's legendary temper was about to level something.

Still breathing heavily, the Raikage turned back around, his eye twitching. "What the hell is a Yuri Knight?!"

Hoshikawa hesitated, swallowing hard. "We… we don't know, my lord."

The Raikage glared at them as if they had personally offended his entire lineage. "AND WHY DOES HALF THE VILLAGE KEEP TALKING ABOUT YURI PARADISE?!"

The squad shifted awkwardly.

"T-The housewives… they're, um… really into it, my lord."

Another shinobi coughed. "And some of the younger shinobi, too. It's… it's got a following."

The Raikage closed his eyes. "That damn book… Sayuri Arata is rotting the minds of my village." He exhaled sharply. "Get out. All of you."

The squad did not hesitate.

As they scrambled out of the room, the Raikage collapsed into his chair—what little of it was left—his face buried in his hands.

And, for the first time in his life, he felt something he had never thought possible.

Defeat "Ugh!"

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