Lookism: What If

Chapter 4: Chapter 4: Self Hatred



(Friday, April 19, 2024 – 4:28 PM)

Logan clutched his throat, his chest rising and falling with ragged breaths. Blood dripped from his nose while his face twisted in shock and rage.

The field was silent as the students frozen in disbelief. No one had ever seen Logan Lee stumble, let alone choke on his own breath.

He wiped his nose with the back of his hand, then spat a wad of blood onto the grass before cracking his neck.

"You… you little shit." His voice was hoarse from the kick to his throat, but the fury in his eyes was clear.

Daniel stood a few feet away with his own heavy breath, sweat dripping from his forehead. He felt the weight of every gaze on him, yet his mind remained locked into Logan and the way his fingers twitched in irritation, the way his stance shifted, preparing to charge.

Then Logan moved.

Daniel barely had time to react before Logan closed the distance between them. The sheer momentum behind his charge sent dirt flying from the field, his right fist swinging down like a hammer.

Daniel stepped back, but Logan adjusted, slamming his elbow toward Daniel's ribs instead. The impact sent a dull shock through his body as he staggered sideways, gritting his teeth as pain flared up his side. Logan's reach was ridiculous; even when dodging, the sheer force behind his attacks could still catch him.

He had to strike back.

Daniel pivoted, shifting low before launching a quick palm strike toward Logan's nose. Logan twisted his head just in time, avoiding direct contact, but Daniel immediately followed up, his foot snapping forward in a short-range kick aimed at Logan's inner thigh.

The reaction was instant, Logan's leg twitched, momentarily thrown off-balance, and Daniel seized the chance to grip his ear and twist hard. Logan snarled, jerking back, but Daniel didn't stop, stomping onto Logan's right knee to further throw him off.

But Logan adapted.

The moment Daniel's foot left the ground, Logan grabbed him mid-motion, his massive hands locking around Daniel's torso like steel clamps. Before Daniel could break free, Logan lifted him and hurled him across the field.

Daniel's body hit the dirt hard, rolling before coming to a painful stop. His ribs screamed in protest, his breath coming in sharp gasps, but he ignored it, forcing himself onto his elbows. His fingers dug into the grass as he pushed himself up with blood trickling from a fresh wound on his forehead. He was hurting, but his mind remained clear.

Logan cracked his knuckles. "That all you got?"

Daniel inhaled deeply. His body was battered, but that was expected. Logan wasn't just a brute; he was experienced, his ability to adjust mid-fight making him even more dangerous. But Daniel was adjusting too. Logan's fat absorbed most attacks, making blunt strikes useless, yet his nose, throat, ears, and joints reacted like any other person's. Those were the only weak points he could target.

So he would.

Pushing past the pain, Daniel lunged forward again. Logan met him head-on, throwing a wide punch that Daniel barely managed to slip past, feeling the wind brush against his ear. He countered immediately, jumping and slamming his palm into Logan's throat again, forcing another guttural cough from the bigger teen. Logan recoiled slightly, but this time, he forced himself through the pain, grabbing Daniel by the collar and driving a knee into his gut.

The air left Daniel's lungs. His body jerked violently from the impact with his vision flashing white for a second. Logan capitalized, lifting Daniel by his collar before slamming his fist into his stomach again, then again, and again. Each blow felt like a hammer against his insides, forcing his body to curl inward.

Daniel barely reacted.

Pain surged through his torso, but instead of tensing up, he loosened his body, reducing the damage as much as possible. His mind remained focused, even as blood trickled from his lips. Logan was strong, but he was predictable when he got mad. He wasn't thinking anymore, just throwing raw power around.

Daniel shifted slightly, and when Logan reared back for another punch, he struck first, thrusting his forehead forward and smashing it into Logan's nose again. The sickening crunch of cartilage breaking echoed through the air, sending another spray of blood flying.

Logan stumbled, blinking rapidly, his vision dazed for a moment and Daniel used the opening to drive a sharp elbow into the side of Logan's neck, forcing another pained grunt from him.

But Logan wasn't done.

Despite his nose dripping blood, despite his throat bruised and aching, Logan grabbed Daniel's wrist and twisted. A sharp jolt of pain shot up Daniel's arm, but he gritted his teeth as Logan yanked him in and delivered a devastating uppercut to his chin.

Daniel's head snapped back, his body lifting off the ground slightly before he crashed onto the dirt again. His jaw throbbed, the metallic taste of blood thick on his tongue.

Logan exhaled harshly, wiping his broken nose with the back of his sleeve before stepping forward. "You really don't know when to stay down, huh?"

Daniel remained still for a second, lying on his back, his chest rising and falling. Blood seeped from the corner of his mouth, his uniform torn and covered in dirt. His ribs ached with every breath, his body screaming at him to stop.

But he didn't.

Instead, he lifted a trembling hand and pressed it against the ground, slowly pushing himself up. His body protested, every movement laced with pain, yet he moved with the same calm, measured control he showed untill now.

His classmates watched in stunned silence. Some had expected him to be unconscious by now. Some had expected him to beg. But Daniel did neither.

He got up.

Slowly, steadily, until he was back on his feet, bloodied, bruised, but standing.

His bangs clung to his sweaty forehead, his breathing heavy, but his eyes, those were what made Logan hesitate. There was no fear, no hesitation. Only cold, seething hatred.

Logan wiped his mouth, his tongue clicking in irritation as he stared at the smaller teen. Then, his lips curled into a grin.

"Heh.." he scoffed, rolling his shoulders. "Guess you're tougher than I thought."

---

Name: Logan Lee

Height: 190 cm

Strength: |-{B}

Speed: |-{C}

Potential: |-{SS}

Intelligence: |-{A}

Endurance: |-{B}

---

Daniel said nothing.

He simply stared.

And for the first time in his life, Logan felt something strange creep up his spine.

Daniel tilted his head back with his eyes drifting toward the sky. The clouds above moved lazily, indifferent to the chaos unfolding below. His breath was ragged, his body battered, yet his mind was sharp, cutting through the pain like a blade.

'Even in my past life… I always had a weak body.'

His fists clenched as the memories surfaced. He had never been physically strong, never had the endurance to keep up with others. But that had never stopped him from fighting. He had always been loud, brash, ready to throw hands with anyone who looked at him the wrong way.

And he always lost.

Yet, despite the constant defeats, no one at his school had ever disrespected him. His ruthlessness had earned him that much. Even when he was on the ground, even when he was bruised and broken, they knew he would never back down.

But here… in this life…

Losing again to Logan.

It disgusted him.

Not Logan. Himself.

Why was he on the losing ground again? Why was he struggling to breathe while that bastard was still standing tall? Why the hell was he still weak?

It happens occasionally. When your body becomes hot in the middle of a fight. To be brief, it's self-hatred.

You can't stand feeling disgusted with yourself.

'Why is this all I can do…'

'Why can't I do more when I tried so hard…'

It rises from deep within, those emotions bubbling up like magma beneath the surface, self-hatred, a sense of inferiority, self-reproach.

These emotions, this shame, this rage…

They turn into hysteria.

Daniel slowly lowered his head, his bloodied bangs casting a shadow over his eyes.

Then, a grin spread across his face.

A wide, twisted, insane grin.

His shoulders relaxed, his breathing evened out, and when he lifted his gaze back to Logan..

His eyes burned.

"Ahh… fuck it..." His voice came out hoarse but steady, almost casual, yet filled with something dangerous.

His grin widened even more.

"Let's kill each other!"

[Heat Mode.]

Logan's smirk faded.

Something was very wrong.

---

Name: Daniel Park

Height: 160 cm

Heat Mode

Strength: |-{B}

Speed: |-{B}

Potential: |-{SSS}

Intelligence: |-{B}

Endurance: |-{C}

---

----

I thought about the course of this fight and i think Heat Mode is fitting currently.


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