Maniac’s Mayhem: A guide to being a corporate slave

I watch as Bubbles slowly tries to get up. Good, she is alive. A whirling noise can be heard from the fire truck, and out of some hidden compartments come turrets and hoses with chemicals that start unleashing onto the oncoming antithesis. I turn around to see why Bubbles learned how to fly.

I see a big head; that is not entirely correct. It looks like it was once more than just a head, but two of its side connections have mostly been melted off, leaving just a big face with lumps attached. Ooh, and tentacles, long whip-like things with balls and some type of blades on their ends.

“Lyssa, the fuck is that thing?” I shout out.

That would be a model 13. By its size, Lyssa would say it is underdeveloped and hatched early, and the acid is not helping it. These models are still extremely dangerous; they are incredibly fast, and a hit from them will break bones.

‘Good, good. I needed to add broken bones to my list of injuries for today anyway. So how do I fight it?’ I subvocalize while positioning myself between the overgrown Oshima tree and Bubbles.

You are physically not fast enough to deal with it. Lyssa would like to recommend Jet Stream Ultra for 20 points, so you have a chance; it will be a rather unpleasant experience.

At this point, the thing is moving. The cracking of whips can be heard, so I make my decision. When did running stop being an option?

‘well, in for a penny, in for a pound, just give it to me.’

New Purchase: Jet Stream Ultra

Points reduced to... 440

A little purple injector pops into existence. This one is smaller than the ones I have used so far, but I have no time to dwell on that particular detail for long. The squid is coming closer, and I put the injector into my right arm. A wave of this weird, electrifying pain shoots through my arm into the rest of my body. I try to scream, but my mouth does not work anymore. What is going on? I try to move my hand to force my mouth open, but it is not moving either. As I am freaking out, I notice one of the tentacles of the Model 13 is coming towards me. It is moving slowly. I try my best to move out of the way. Slowly but surely, my body reacts. It's like I have been dropped in a vat of artificial meat jelly.

I somehow managed to avoid it and even put my sword in the path of the tentacle. Was this thing not supposed to be fast? That’s when the tentacle hits my blade. I feel the impact and see the sparks. The impact makes my arm vibrate in such a way that I think that all of my muscles are going to fall apart. I internally scream in agony since my mouth is still not mouthing correctly.

I slowly try to move my sword back, trying to find some purchase for it so it can work its magic. I somehow managed to strike the tentacle. It does not go deep at all, just a couple of centimetres. I activate the sword. Barbs unleash from the sword, and I pull with all my might. The sword is ripped free, taking a chuck of plant flesh out with it.

The tentacle has taken a hit but is still moving slowly. While trying to stay out of its grasp and aiming for the wound, I bring my sword down again. I hit, cutting deeper this time. I activate the sword again, this time ripping even more of its Xeno flesh to shreds. The tentacle has now become useless. I can do this.

Sadly, this was not its only tentacle, and I was forced to dodge more. But now I have a strategy, and soon, I fall into a rhythm, dodging and blocking tentacles and slowly tearing off flesh when I have the chance.

Every time I block, my body is sent into pain as my muscles are torn apart. I don’t feel good. I want to throw up, but because of the state I am in, I can’t even do that. My legs have become a shaking mess. My arms feel like wet noodles, and I am pretty sure I have been crying for a while now. The only thing in my body that feels fine is my back. So I make a note to myself to also replace the rest of my body with tech,

I keep going, and after what felt like three hours, no more tentacles come. Looking up at the face thing, I see that it's not doing great using its remaining strength to keep upright. I try to run, but with the slog, my body's progress is slow. I almost fell several times when a tentacle that I thought could not move anymore displayed motion.

I eventually reach the squid and stab my sword into its mouthless face. I activate the sword. The creature slowly collapses and falls back into the hole. I stand there unsure what to do next—I don’t want to jump into the hole after it. Then I notice the hose. It has been flung aside, but it definitely belongs to bubbles. An eternity later, I turn my head enough to see that, yes, it is still connected to the fire truck.

I grab the bubbler, aim it at the creature, and then release the mechanism. A slow, foamy spray of bubbles and goop comes out, covering the model 13. The thing's green flesh starts melting away, and one thought hits me as it does so. Fuck that probably ruined my fancy sword as well. Goodbye, little raven; your service was invaluable.

I keep staring for a while. Then, close the valve and slowly try to turn around. I see that Bubbles has managed to stand up and is leaning against her truck, using it to fend off the last of the Xenos.

As I look at her fight, the little rat in my brain starts spinning the wheel again. I can see the bullets leave the gun in slow motion as well. My body is not slowed down or impaired; my mind is going fast, or something similar is going so fast that everything looks like it is slowed down. This relieves me but also scares me a lot more. At least my body is not broken.

My injectors usually last for around six hours. Six hours like this is going to be hell. My body hurts from the fight. The sounds are loud and painful. Not being able to use my body correctly makes me feel trapped. I became terrified. I would probably be hyperventilating if I could breathe properly. Fuck, what to do.

I spare another glance at Bubbles, and she looks like she is doing fine. I try sitting down And fail. falling down while being like this makes you really appreciate how you fucked up. Slowly, the ground gets closer, but even with all this time, I can not figure out how to stop myself from falling. I feel the slow impact, and it hurts. It really hurts it is not one of those slow taps but a long-dragged-out collision.

I don’t know what to do anymore. So, I stop trying to do anything. I bring my legs close to my chest and wrap my arms around them, and then I just lie there, making promises to myself. Never again. Never again. My eyes start to hurt at some point, so I close them as well.

I don’t know how long I have been here, hours or days. Nothing seems to change. Until something grabs me, it hurts. I try to open my eyes to see my assailant. What greets me are the 2 round black eyes of a gas mask. The left lens is cracked, which seems unimportant now. She slowly removes the gas mask, and I see Bubble's face. She is trying to talk, but it is not getting through to me. Suddenly, a message pops up in the middle of my view.

[Lyssa would like to share data on Evelyn’s current condition with Vanguard Liquid Catalyst. Do I have your permission]

Underneath the message are two boxes, one with yes and another with no. I slowly focused on the yes option and selected it. Nothing happens after that. It is just me laying there in pain in her arms.

This could have been nice if it had happened at any other time. She is really cute too. Her blond pixie cut and blue eyes give off child-like cuteness. Suddenly, another message appears.

[Vanguard Liquid Catalyst required the sharing of unlocked catalogs]

Wait, you can do that. Fuck, I am in no state to absorb this kind of information. Anyway, I select yes again. After another three days or so, a box teleports in. Bubbles opens it and takes out another injector. Ooh, finally, something to take me out of this hell. She stabs me. I feel a sharp pain, and slowly, everything turns muddled, and I lose consciousness.