Marvelous Meditations

Xavier's eyes met Nathan's with a steady, unreadable expression. "Logan tells me you want us to hire you as our security consultant."

Nathan nodded, a measured response as he leaned back in his chair. "Not me specifically, but Maximus Security. Given the unique challenges the X-Men face, I believe our expertise—mine, in particular—would be indispensable."

Ororo's brow furrowed slightly, her concern evident, though she remained silent, her gaze shifting between Xavier and Nathan. She trusted Xavier's judgment but couldn't help feeling uneasy about this new development.

Xavier rested his hands on the desk, his demeanor calm but probing.

"Your expertise, yes..." He trailed off, pulling a thick file from beneath his desk. "I asked an associate of mine to run a background check on you. Your military record is both impressive and concerning."

He slid the file across the desk, his expression hardening as he continued, "Some of the missions you were involved in during Operation Cerberus are, to put it lightly, not exactly reassuring."

Nathan raised an eyebrow, accepting the file. He flipped through its pages, the weight of its contents evident in his furrowed brow. His eyes widened slightly as he absorbed the detailed account of his past, each mission meticulously documented.

A fleeting image of a black-haired woman with distinct markings on her face flashed through his mind, the only person capable of digging up so much classified information. He quickly shook it off, focusing on the situation at hand.

"This is quite impressive," Nathan admitted, setting the file down. "You have a very thorough associate."

Xavier's gaze remained steady. "We like to be prepared."

Nathan exhaled softly, his tone measured but tinged with sincerity. "I won't deny my involvement in some of the most immoral operations in U.S. history. I did things I'm not proud of, things I carry with me every day. But I was a different man then, and I'm trying to make amends, bit by bit."

Xavier nodded slightly, satisfied that Nathan had chosen not to hide behind excuses like following orders. Before he could speak further, Wolverine grunted, his voice rough. "Trying to make amends doesn't erase the past."

Nathan smiled bitterly, the expression tinged with regret. "No, it doesn't... but I don't need to tell you that, do I?"

Logan's lips twisted into a bitter smirk, his eyes narrowing as he shook his head. "No, you don't."

Xavier cleared his throat, bringing the conversation back to its intended focus. "Yes, well, as you can see, my associate managed to retrieve a considerable portion of your service record despite it being classified, but not all of it." He gestured toward the file, his gaze steady. "Before your discharge, you served in a special task force. However, we couldn't uncover any details beyond the name—Taskforce Thunderbolt."

Nathan inclined his head in acknowledgment. "That's right. It was a task force specializing in handling metahuman threats and alien technology. Primarily, we dealt with mutants and Chitauri tech."

He turned to look directly at Wolverine, his expression unflinching. "As I've already explained to Wolverine, my role was to hunt down and eliminate mutants."

The bluntness of Nathan's words sent a ripple through the room. Wolverine, despite already knowing this, couldn't help but wince at Nathan's unvarnished admission. His eyes flicked to Xavier, who, though accustomed to diplomatic conversations, was momentarily taken aback by the starkness of Nathan's statement.

But it was Ororo who reacted most strongly. Her eyes widened, her posture stiffening as she took an instinctive step forward, the room's atmosphere growing heavier with the weight of her unspoken questions. "You hunted mutants?" she repeated, her voice a mixture of disbelief and anger.

Nathan met her gaze evenly, his voice steady though devoid of pride. "Yes. It was my mission, and I carried it out."

Ororo's hand clenched at her side, her eyes narrowing as she fixed Nathan with a cold stare. "So, you hunted our kind, and now you expect us to trust you?" Her voice was laced with a mixture of incredulity and anger. She turned sharply to Xavier, her tone demanding. "In the first place, I still don't understand why we even need a security consultant, let alone why this man is being considered for the job."

Xavier sighed softly, a weariness settling into his features. "Ororo, I understand your concerns. But there's more at stake here." He folded his hands on the desk, his gaze steady. "Logan was ambushed earlier. The level of preparation and the resources deployed were... alarming."

Ororo's hard gaze flickered with a hint of surprise as she glanced at Logan, who gave a small nod of confirmation. Xavier continued, "Mr. Cross and his associate from the Wildpack were the only reason Logan was able to rescue the children and return unscathed."

Ororo's expression softened slightly as she turned back to Nathan, her eyes scanning him with renewed scrutiny. Then, she looked back at Xavier, her voice still wary. "And?"

Xavier's face grew more somber, his tone lowering. "What's more concerning are the implications. The assailants knew it would be Wolverine who would respond to the distress call from Nessiros Island."

Ororo's eyes widened in alarm. "You think there's a traitor?"

Xavier nodded slowly, his reluctance clear. "Either that, or we're dealing with an enemy capable of infiltrating our security systems—someone who can avoid detection even by our most powerful telepaths, including myself and Jean Grey."

The room fell into a tense silence. Ororo's brow furrowed, the weight of Xavier's words sinking in. She crossed her arms, her gaze turning thoughtful. "That kind of breach... it's more than just dangerous. It's catastrophic."

Logan, still leaning against the wall, growled softly. "If they can get in once, they can do it again."

Logan nodded, his arms crossing over his broad chest as he leaned slightly forward. "Exactly. Which is why we need someone with Cross' expertise. As a covert operative, he'll be more capable of spotting a mole than any of us. His unbiased judgment, without personal stakes clouding his decisions, could be exactly what we need to flush out a rat..."

"And let's face it, his experience as someone who's hunted mutants before makes him even more essential. He knows how someone might try to blindside people with abilities like ours."

Ororo sighed, her skepticism lingering in her tone. "I understand your reasoning, Logan. But is he trustworthy? That's the real question."

Before Xavier could respond, Nathan spoke up, his voice calm but firm. "I believe that's what the professor is trying to discern from this meeting. Trust isn't given; it's earned. And I can only do what I can to make you feel more at ease."

He turned to Rick, who stood beside him with a subtle frown. "Rick, would you kindly give them the file?"

Rick's hesitation was evident as he pulled out a thick file from inside his jacket. "Are you sure about this?" he asked, his tone edged with concern.

Nathan nodded with a serene confidence. "I'm asking them to place their trust in me and, ultimately, their lives in my hands. This is the least I can do."

Rick muttered under his breath, "It's your funeral," as he handed the file over to Xavier.

Xavier took the file, his fingers grazing the edges before he opened it and began to scan the pages. The room fell into a tense silence, the soft rustling of paper the only sound. Nathan watched him calmly, though his posture hinted at an undercurrent of tension.

"All my targets," Nathan began, his voice steady but carrying a weight of past burdens, "were rogue mutants, criminals, and extremists. The same kind of people you fight on a nearly daily basis." He let out a quiet sigh, the memories of past missions flickering in his mind. "Though my methods were different. It was mostly search and destroy."

Logan's eyes flicked to Nathan, a faint grimace on his face. He knew the weight of those words, the toll of that kind of work. Xavier paused in his reading, his gaze lifting to meet Nathan's.

"And do you believe those methods are still necessary?" Xavier's tone was measured, a quiet challenge behind his words.

Nathan shook his head slowly, his gaze fixed on a distant point in the room as if weighing the gravity of his past. "I'm not sure," he said, his voice tinged with quiet introspection. "Some of those people might have deserved a second chance, but others... they clearly didn't."

He crossed his arms, the weight of his experiences pressing down on him. "I've had a second, a third, even a fourth chance. And part of me believes I didn't deserve any of them."

The room fell into a heavy silence, the kind that seemed to stretch time itself. The atmosphere thickened, each person caught in their own thoughts until Rick's voice cut through the stillness, sharp and pragmatic.

"In any case," Rick said, his tone brisk and no-nonsense, "we're not here to debate philosophy or morality. We're here to discuss business." He gestured toward the file in Xavier's hands, his eyes narrowing. "And that file is serious business, Professor. It's classified beyond top secret. If even a whisper of it gets out beyond this office, not only Nathan, but everyone in this room will be in deep trouble."

Xavier's gaze shifted from the file to Rick, a solemn understanding in his eyes. He nodded, his expression resolute. "Rest assured, once I've studied it thoroughly, I'll personally destroy it. Logan and Ororo won't say a word about its contents. You have my guarantee."

Logan gave a slight grunt of agreement from his corner, his arms still folded, while Ororo's eyes flicked between Nathan and the file, a thoughtful frown settling on her face. The gravity of the situation was clear to everyone present, and the weight of Xavier's promise hung in the air like an unspoken pact.

Rick exhaled slowly, his posture easing ever so slightly. "Good," he said, his voice softer now but still carrying a firm edge. "Now, let's get down to business. When it comes to business, only two things are necessary: a mutually beneficial agreement and trust between the client and the service provider."

Xavier inclined his head in agreement. "Indeed."

Rick's lips curled into a faint smile. "We've already established that our services will be beneficial to the X-Men. As for trust, that's even easier to establish." He gestured subtly with his chin toward the file in Xavier's hands. "Do me a favor and skip to the end of the file."

Xavier, curiosity piqued, flipped through the remaining pages until he reached the final section. As his eyes scanned the text, his expression suddenly shifted, a flicker of alarm crossing his features. "Lilian..." he murmured, a hint of hesitation in his voice. He looked up, his gaze settling on Nathan. "You were the young man with her at her last moments?"

Nathan's brow furrowed at the mention of the name, a shadow of something deeper flickering across his face. "You knew Lily?" he asked, his voice laced with a mix of surprise and guarded emotion.

Xavier's expression grew somber, his eyes clouded with regret. "Not personally," he admitted, "but failing to protect that child was one of my greatest regrets." He sighed deeply, the weight of past failures evident in his tone. "She was hidden from me, from Cerebro, somehow. By the time we arrived.. it was too late."

Nathan's jaw tightened, a grim understanding settling over him. "Taskforce Thunderbolt had a knock-off version of Cerebro," he explained. "They implemented their own security measures against it. It's likely they installed devices to hide the signals of any mutants in their labs... there was nothing you can do..."

Xavier's expression softened, tinged with a deep, aching regret. "Alas," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, "there were things I could have done..." His gaze dropped, his fingers lightly tracing the edges of the file on his desk. He winced, a brief flicker of pain crossing his face. "I sensed her days before her passing, but I chose to wait, out of consideration."

He lifted his eyes to Nathan, the weight of his guilt evident. "I could sense her thoughts... and for the most part, she felt safe, even happy. I thought I'd give her more time to adapt to the world, to find her place in it. I thought that—"

Before Xavier could finish, Nathan interrupted, his tone calm yet heavy with a resigned bitterness. "You thought I could protect her." His gaze was steady, unflinching. "I thought so too."

Xavier blinked, taken aback by the bluntness of Nathan's statement. For a moment, he was too stunned to speak, the air between them thick with unspoken sorrow. He drew in a slow breath, his voice gentle as he said, "I did not mean to insinuate that young Lilian's fate was in any way your fault... and for what it's worth, I don't believe it is."

Nathan offered a small, weary smile. "Thank you for saying that."

Xavier studied Nathan carefully, seeing through the polite facade. It was clear to him that his words, however sincere, meant little to Nathan. The man had already borne the weight of guilt for too long, had etched it into his very being. There was nothing Xavier could say that would lighten that burden.

A moment of silence passed, heavy and contemplative, before Xavier spoke again. "Very well then. I will consider your offer and consult with my associates before giving you an answer."

Nathan nodded, rising smoothly to his feet. His smile was polite, almost practiced. "That's all I ask."

Rick followed his lead, standing with a slight smirk as if to ease the tension lingering in the room. "Well, gentlemen," he said, adjusting his jacket, "I think that wraps things up for now."

As Nathan turned to leave, he paused for a moment, his gaze sweeping the room, lingering briefly on each face. "I'll be waiting," he said, a hint of something unreadable in his tone, before heading towards the door.

Ororo watched them go, her expression unreadable, before turning back to Xavier. "Do you trust him?" she asked softly.

Xavier exhaled slowly, leaning back in his chair. "I trust that he believes in what he's doing. Whether or not that's enough remains to be seen."

Logan, who had remained silent for most of the exchange, crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "He's got a past, but he ain't running from it. And he did save my life. That counts for something."

Ororo nodded, though the concern in her eyes did not fade. "We'll see."

...

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