Modern Family: The Extra Dunphy

INTERVIEW – JOEY DUNPHY

[Joey packs a meticulously organized camping backpack, rolling a tent with military precision. Buddy watches, tail wagging.]

JOEY: Solitude isn't about hating people. It's about hating noise. [Zips the bag shut] But apparently, my friends missed the memo.

DUNPHY HOUSE – MORNING

Claire eyes Joey's gear piled by the door as Phil attempts to stuff a self-inflating kayak into the fridge.

CLAIRE: You're sure you don't want your father's patented Dunphy Survival Kit? [Holds up a box labeled "Bears Hate Dad Jokes!"]

PHIL (proudly): It's got bear spray, glow sticks, and a kazoo for Morse code!

JOEY (deadpan): I'd rather wrestle the bear.

ALEX (from the stairs): Statistically, you're more likely to die from Dad's kazoo.

HALEY (yelling): Joey, borrow my sequined sleeping bag! Bears love bling!

[CUT TO INTERVIEW – PHIL DUNPHY]

PHIL (teary): My boy's a lone wolf! [Pauses] …But even wolves need kazoos.

LEDFORD HOUSE – AFTERNOON

Matt scrolls through Joey's Instagram (one post: a black-and-white photo of a tent captioned "Silence: Loading…"). Lila, Zoe, Ethan, and Travis crowd behind him.

LILA (crossing arms): He's been "loading" and we're intervening, we are, aren't we?

ZOE (plucking ukulele): Camping's just outside with extra bugs! Let's surprise him!

ETHAN (sarcastic): Nothing says "fun" like stalking a control freak into the wilderness.

TRAVIS (grinning): I packed marshmallows and a harmonica! [Produces a kazoo] And Phil gave me this!

MATT (nervous): What if he murders us?

LILA (snatching keys): Then we'll die bonding. Let's move.

SIERRA NATIONAL FOREST – SUNSET

Joey's campsite is a geometric marvel: tent aligned to true north, firewood stacked by size, water purifier humming. He sketches under a lantern when twigs snap. Buddy growls.

JOEY (calling out): If you're a bear, I've got three kinds of repellent. If you're Haley, I've got four.

ZOE (popping from bushes): Surprise! We're your spirit animals!

[The group tumbles into the clearing. Travis trips over a guyline, collapsing the tent. Ethan faceplants into a "LEAVE NO TRACE" sign.]

JOEY (staring at the chaos): This is why I hate people.

LILA (already rebuilding the tent): Hate us faster.

[CUT TO INTERVIEW – ETHAN PARKER]

ETHAN: Joey's face? Priceless. Like a monk finding a rave in his monastery.

CAMPSITE – NIGHT

The group huddles around a fire. Joey reluctantly accepts a marshmallow on a stick Zoe carved into a "friendship wand."

TRAVIS (playing kazoo): Phil said this means "I love you" in bear!

JOEY: Dad thinks spaghetti is bear repellent.

LILA (toasting a marshmallow): Admit it. This is better than talking to trees.

JOEY (grumbling): Trees don't burn my marshmallows. [Zoe's marshmallow bursts into flames.]

ZOE (blowing out fire): Campfire rule: Share a secret or a song!

MATT (nudging Joey): You've got that guitar case in your trunk. Secret musician?

JOEY (freezing): …It's for structural support.

ETHAN (fake gasp): The robot has a heart!

[Joey hesitates, then retrieves a weathered acoustic guitar. He strums softly, avoiding eye contact. The group falls silent.]

JOEY (singing quietly):

♪ We build our walls, we stack the stones,

To keep the world from breaking bones.

But cracks let in the light, I'm told… ♫

[The fire crackles. Matt's eyes widen. Zoe sniffles. Even Ethan stops smirking.]

[CUT TO INTERVIEW – ZOE PARK]

ZOE (teary): His voice was like… a sad lighthouse? [Pauses] I wanted to hug him and build him a shrine.

LAKE SHORE – DAWN

Joey and Matt skip stones while others fish (poorly). Travis "accidentally" uses Lila's planner as bait.

MATT: That song… Did you write it?

JOEY (nodding): [Pauses] Music was my escape. Till I boxed it up.

MATT (kicking a pebble): I… write songs too. Not like yours. Just dumb garage band stuff.

*JOEY (stopping): Let me hear.

*MATT (panicked): What? No!

*JOEY (smirking): Scared of a little critique? [Tosses him the guitar.]

[Matt plays a shaky riff, lyrics stumbling. Joey listens, then rearranges the chords with a flick of his wrist.]

JOEY: Your chorus needs a key change. [Plays a soaring variation] There. Now it's your escape.

MATT (grinning): You're a music ninja.

[CUT TO INTERVIEW – MATT LEDFORD]

MATT: I felt like… Taylor Swift discovering fire. [Pauses] But cooler.

CAMPSITE – NEXT NIGHT

A storm rolls in. The group scrambles as wind ravages tents. Zoe's ukulele sails into a tree. Lila barks orders.

LILA: Ethan, tie down the food! Travis, stop hugging the cooler!

JOEY (yelling over wind): We need shelter! Follow me!

[He leads them to a cave, guiding with calm precision. They huddle inside as rain pours.]

ETHAN (dripping): How'd you know this was here?

JOEY (starting a fire): Topographic maps. And common sense.

ZOE (shivering): Your common sense is our superhero.

[Matt strums the guitar, voice steadying. Joey joins in harmony. The group sings as thunder rumbles.]

[CUT TO INTERVIEW – LILA CARTER]

LILA: Turns out, chaos is just unplanned teamwork. [Smiles] And Joey's a terribly good singer.

DUNPHY BACKYARD – SUNSET, ONE WEEK LATER

The group gathers for a barbecue. Matt's band poster ("THE LEDFORD EXPERIMENT") hangs beside Joey's bridge blueprint. Phil grills with a "MUSIC WIZARD" apron.

PHIL (handing Joey a kazoo): Proud of you, bud. [Whispers] But I still think bears hate B-flat.

MATT (lifting soda): To Joey—reluctant camp counselor, secret punk-rock god.

JOEY (rolling eyes): To not dying in a cave.

[Zoe starts a bonfire singalong. Buddy howls. Claire snaps a photo, eyes misty.]

[CUT TO INTERVIEW – JOEY DUNPHY]

JOEY: I used to think silence was the goal. [Glances at the laughing group] But turns out, noise has… layers.

FINAL SHOT – The camera pans up to the stars as the group's voices blend with crickets. Fade to Joey's guitar propped against his blueprint, sheet music scribbled in the margins.

POST-CREDITS INTERVIEW – BUDDY

[A dog's-eye view of the bonfire. Text overlay: "Best. Backup. Singers. Ever."]