Monarchs of Ruination

"Are you suggesting that someone erased all your memories and then awakened them again? How is it even possible to manipulate your thoughts and turn them into obsessions?.... Even the Heavens couldn't do that." Lucas said, just as baffled as NOX.

If what NOX said was true, then this certain someone was terrifying beyond reason.

"Perhaps… it might just be me?" NOX said suddenly, uncertainty creeping into his voice. His words carried weight, profound and unclear.

It was impossible to tell if 'me' referred to his current self or something else entirely.

Lucas frowned. "What do you mean?"

Seeing Lucas' reaction, NOX quickly corrected himself. "Maybe it was just me all along, you know… Maybe I subconsciously manipulated my own thoughts, turning my goal into an obsession."

Lucas raised a brow. "But why would you do that? Sure, you're insane, obnoxious, self-destructive, but you're not crazy, are you? Why would you manipulate your own memories and thoughts?"

"I'm gonna let that comment slide… for old time's sake." NOX said angrily.

'Obnoxious? Me?' NOX snorted inwardly.

"Remember when I told you I awakened these memories while grieving after my partial revenge?" NOX asked.

Lucas nodded slightly.

"There's more to it than that. Let's assume my memories were sealed by my own mind as a defense mechanism, and the familiar loneliness I felt after losing my family broke the seal and triggered their return." NOX speculated.

Lucas didn't nod or comment—he simply waited to see where NOX was going with this.

"But.... You see, along with these memories, I got another set—a bonus set, memories that should have never belonged to me."

"I mean, if someone really was trying to manipulate my mind, couldn't they at least be more subtle about it? What an amateur schemer." NOX said amusingly.

"All things considered, though, I'm glad I got these bonus memories."

Lucas' frown deepened. "What do you mean?"

"Have you wondered why my mother suddenly stopped visiting? And why, soon after, my whole family did too?" NOX asked.

Lucas nodded. He had been puzzled by it but had dismissed the thought, assuming they had been preoccupied with something else.

"Turns out, while I was busy hating and resenting them in my loneliness… they were literally sacrificing everything to save me." NOX said, his hands trembling slightly.

In these 'bonus' memories,

I saw a massive altar next to the room I was stored in. In the middle of the altar, I saw a woman bleeding golden blood. The blood flowed over the altar, dyeing the ritual circle red.

That woman was my true mother.

At first, I was puzzled. I couldn't make sense of what was happening, but as time passed, I slowly began to understand.

The thing is—she was literally sacrificing her blood and flesh to keep me alive through some kind of forbidden ritual.

She was giving herself up so that my body could grow.

And my family… they were busy keeping both of us alive. By the time I finally woke up, my mother had already fallen into a deep coma.

And I had spent all that time hating these people. For what? For not visiting me?" NOX's hand trembled again as he clenched his fists tightly.

"I really was just a 'piece of meat.' Both literally and figuratively."

Even Lucas exhaled sharply.

What was he supposed to say? Where was he even supposed to begin?

Just as Lucas was about to speak, NOX interrupted him.

"I know what you're going to say, so let me spare you the words. It doesn't matter if someone was manipulating me and my thoughts. Maybe it was obsession. Maybe it was guilt. But here's how I choose to interpret my situation—my reasons for bringing them back."

Reason 1:

I've always wondered—why did they go so far to save me?

I was nothing but a piece of meat, right?

So how could they love a piece of meat so much that they not only sacrificed so much before I was even born but continued sacrificing even after I grew up?

I want to ask them that. If I can bring them back, I will ask them."

"Reason 2:

They were people, too, weren't they? They had goals, aspirations, dreams, just like anyone else.

My big brother wanted to see the full potential of his 'OP' skill. A ridiculous goal, but still a goal nonetheless.

My mother wanted to see us grow up—me, my sister, my big brother. That was all she ever wanted.

My father, my grandfather—they wanted to search for our lineage beyond this universe.

But in the face of saving me, their goals meant nothing.

How can I stay silent, knowing that I was the reason they died… and that because of me, their dreams never came true?"

NOX's voice was steady. To him, it didn't matter whether his reasons were influenced by an unseen hand or his own fractured mind.

All that mattered was bringing his family back.

And if he didn't survive in the process?

Then at least he could find comfort in knowing that he gave them a chance to fight for their own dreams.

Lucas exhaled slightly. He didn't know if he should call NOX naive... or simply human.

********

Neither NOX nor Lucas spoke further. They simply stood there.

Lucas looked at NOX, his eyes gleaming with determination, as if he had already made his decision.

"You've always wanted to know what my [Destiny] is, right?" Lucas asked suddenly.

"You bastard, don't drag this out. Just take my fucking hand and let's be done with this… This isn't some kind of therapy session for secrets and past regrets," NOX cursed.

This had been dragged on long enough.

Did NOX want to die? Of course not.

But he could never kill Lucas either.

If one of them must die to 'create' the inevitable future, NOX had already chosen himself.

The reason? Compared to him, Lucas was more caring, kind, and responsible. He wanted their families to be in Lucas' hands.

He also wanted to end this nightmare and rest.

Lucas didn't mind NOX's curses. He could see the desperation in his eyes.

"My Dharma Heart is fractured," Lucas revealed suddenly.

"With my power in your hands, you won't need to worry about that. You could create Dharma Hearts like biscuits," NOX said impatiently.

Lucas didn't respond. He simply looked at NOX in silence.

NOX, recognizing that look all too well, sighed. "Alright, you selfish bastard. What is your oh-so-powerful Destiny?"

"My Destiny is called [Selfish Hypocrite]," Lucas admitted plainly.

NOX fell silent.

If it had been any other time, he would have made a cheesy remark. But now wasn't the time.

"I too hated this Destiny." Lucas said, his voice laced with bitterness.

"And I lived my whole life trying to protect the innocent, to bring peace and stability to this universe. Every life you took, I compensated by saving another. I truly believed I was the balance to your chaos and madness.

I wanted to prove my [Destiny] wrong. But the irony is… it had always followed me like a shadow." 

His expression darkened, as if the very memories of his struggle were a painful replay.

"Saving lives just to defy my [Destiny]—isn't that, in itself, selfish and hypocritical? But not saving them is also selfish and hypocritical.

This is one messed up [Destiny], don't you think? No matter what I do—or don't do—it's already predetermined. The Heavens must have a cruel sense of humor to assign me something like this."

He laughed gently as he mocked himself and the Heavens.

"And you say you represent bad while I represent good?

Stupid brother, look around us…

Show me the lives I saved. Show me the people I protected. I fucking massacred them with my own hands. Once again, proving my [Destiny] right."

For the first time, Lucas was genuinely angry—at his [Destiny], at NOX, at the Heavens, at himself.

NOX remained silent.

"Brother, after everything we've been through… don't you think I'm tired too? Don't you think I want to rest?" Lucas said, his voice breaking as tears streaked down his face.

From the beginning of this nightmare, it might have seemed like Lucas had faded into the background, but in truth, he had already lost his Dharma—and his will to keep going.

He wasn't like NOX. He couldn't just act indifferent after taking countless lives and destroying countless dreams.

He had long planned to give up his power once he helped NOX revive their family. Maybe it was hypocritical, but he had convinced himself that he was destroying all those lives for the sake of his sworn brother.

And now, his foolish brother was asking him to take his power and continue this nightmare?

But the most fucked-up thing in all of this was—

If Lucas took NOX's power, he would become the [Selfish Hypocrite] who killed his sworn brother.

If he refused, he would once again be the [Selfish Hypocrite]—a coward who pushed his brother to continue this nightmare.

Could anyone fathom such despair?

Could anyone truly remain sane after all this?

"I can't accept your power.

Brother, please… let me be the selfish one, just one last time." Lucas pleaded.

Lucas was asking NOX to kill him.

Because he couldn't commit suicide—doing so would violate the last of his principles.

So, instead, he was asking his sworn brother to do it for him.

He knew what this would do to NOX. He knew he was being selfish.

But this was his Destiny, wasn't it? Being hypocritical and selfish.

NOX remained silent, his entire body trembling. His thoughts were a whirlwind of self-blame.

What kind of fucking sworn brother am I?

Did I seriously try to push the only person I call family into continuing this goddamned nightmare?

But… I couldn't just kill him, could I?

Seeing NOX hesitate, Lucas pushed him further.

"Brother, after everything I've just learned… do you really think I would hesitate to violate my last principle? Especially if my death meant even the slightest possibility of hope, do you really think I wouldn't do it myself?" But NOX didn't respond.

Lucas sighed, his eyes filled with determination.

"It's been a wild ride, brother."

With those final words, Lucas drew his sword and, in one decisive motion, thrust it into his heart without hesitation.