My Company Is Black

#035

At the same time, Lee Gyo-ha was anxiously waiting for Jung Hwi-kyung, who hadn’t returned. He was so distracted that he didn’t even realize he was tapping the table with his fingertips. He was especially worried that Lee Sung-ha had followed Hwi-kyung out.

However, Gyo-ha couldn’t easily leave his seat. Lee Baek-gyeong held him back when he tried to stand up. Baek-gyeong kept Gyo-ha in his seat with the absurd notion that they should give Sung-ha a chance to apologize to Hwi-kyung.

Sung-ha apologizing? A Chihuahua would speak human language sooner. Gyo-ha’s heart was racing, worried that Hwi-kyung and Sung-ha might be having a second brawl in the bathroom.

Thinking about Hwi-kyung made him increasingly anxious. It felt like he had developed arrhythmia as a side effect of regression. Half of it was due to Jung Hwi-kyung’s lack of self-preservation. Whenever Gyo-ha took his eyes off him, Hwi-kyung would return in a mess, repeatedly saying, “I’m fine.”

Gyo-ha was starting to fear Hwi-kyung’s “I’m fine.” He was scared of not knowing how much Hwi-kyung could endure. A high pain threshold meant enduring a lot of pain.

“Gyo-ha.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you really like that person?”

Lee Jung-hye spoke, looking at Gyo-ha who was sitting ready to bolt at any moment.

In fact, Jung-hye knew well that Lee Gyo-ha wasn’t the type to formally love someone. She paid more attention to Gyo-ha than Lee Sung-ha, who wanted to crack his younger brother’s head at every opportunity.

Lee Gyo-ha, with his tendency to neither stop those who came nor those who left, hadn’t experienced long, steady relationships, but he had plenty of experience in normal dating.

However, Gyo-ha doing something this big for one person was unprecedented. He liked everyone easily and lightly. He had no strong preferences and rarely gave anyone special treatment.

Unlike Sung-ha and Jung-hye, who had strong opinions and always got what they wanted, Gyo-ha tended to let everything flow naturally.

So even Jung-hye couldn’t help but be surprised. Seeing Gyo-ha so restless over a man who seemed to have no connection to him was new even to Jung-hye, his sister.

Jung-hye secretly thought Gyo-ha was “pretending” to like Hwi-kyung for some reason. Sung-ha said she had been deceived by Gyo-ha, but she was several times more perceptive than Sung-ha.

There must be some problem he’s trying to smooth over like this. That’s why Jung-hye didn’t think too deeply and tried to use Hwi-kyung as a marketing tool.

But looking closely, Gyo-ha seemed to genuinely like Hwi-kyung. He was clearly anxious about not being able to treat him well enough. Gyo-ha was more concerned about Hwi-kyung than anyone else in this place, and he seemed to be the only one not fully aware of it.

“I do like him.”

“…”

“I’ve been saying I like him from the beginning, haven’t I?”

“I’m not asking if you’re just saying it, but if you really like him. Not just as a person, but romantically.”

“…Not just as a person?”

“Do you like him enough to keep him by your side even if it harms the company and you have to be stubborn against your family’s opposition?”

Gyo-ha was at a loss for words at Jung-hye’s question. Aside from not being able to freely tell his family “We’re both regressors, you know?”, he realized he had never specifically thought about his feelings for Hwi-kyung.

Just because we’re both regressors. Because if Jung Hwi-kyung fails, I’ll have to face the morning of the first semester of my master’s degree again. Because I feel sorry for Jung Hwi-kyung living such a harsh life, and I want him to be a little happier…

Lee Gyo-ha wanted to help Jung Hwi-kyung. He wanted to buy him nice clothes, let him live in a house with kind neighbors and hot water. He wanted to serve him expensive, warmly cooked food instead of convenience store lunch boxes costing a few thousand won, and he wanted Jung Hwi-kyung to rely on him even a little.

Although he had loosely wrapped it up as sympathy, this was too large in scale to be just “sympathy.” There was a limit to how much he could deceive himself. Being at a loss for words at Jung-hye’s question was proof of that.

If this had been an easily explainable emotion like “sympathy,” Gyo-ha would have immediately nodded at Jung-hye’s question. It wouldn’t be his first lie, and if he had decided to maintain the setting of liking Hwi-kyung, there was no need to hesitate and raise suspicion.

Moreover, his father Lee Baek-gyeong was also present. Dragging out the answer like this wouldn’t look good. If he was going to lie anyway, it would be better to deceive more perfectly.

But somehow, the words “I really like him” wouldn’t come out easily. Not because he didn’t like Hwi-kyung, but because it didn’t seem like a question that could be answered so easily. His mouth suddenly felt dry. Gyo-ha answered his sister, who was looking at him with concern:

“I’m not sure.”

“What?”

“No, really… I’m not sure. I don’t know what this feeling is…”

Jung-hye clicked her tongue briefly, narrowing her eyes. She was surprised to see her usually thoughtless youngest brother pondering so deeply. So this kid does think sometimes…

“I just… want Hwi-kyung-ssi to be happy.”

“…You’re really not in your right mind.”

“Why is it not right to want someone else to be happy?”

“Forget it, just…”

Maybe it was already past the stage where she could stop him. Jung-hye looked at Gyo-ha, who was confused as he put down his spoon.

“Just don’t carelessly hurt him while trying to be nice.”

This was the best advice Jung-hye could give now.

* * *

After the one-sided family gathering, Hwi-kyung fell ill. As if he had developed a condition where he got sick from eating expensive food, his stomach only settled after throwing up everything he had eaten throughout the early morning.

It was fortunate that tomorrow was the weekend this time. If he went to work with a pale complexion, it was obvious that not only Marcia but also Gyo-ha would worry about him. Hwi-kyung took one more digestive medicine and lay in bed, covering himself completely with the blanket.

Despite feeling warm to the point of being hot because of the blanket, his fingertips kept getting cold. He couldn’t tell if it was because he regretted the expensive Korean course meal or if Lee Sung-ha’s words were still bothering him.

“Am I really crazy…”

It was as natural as water flowing from high to low for Lee Gyo-ha to become a special existence to Jung Hwi-kyung.

The only other regressor in the world. The only person who could listen to Jung Hwi-kyung’s pain without responding, “Are you in your right mind?” The only helper. Someone who, unlike himself, was still sane after living fourteen lives…

It’s difficult not to depend on such a person. Hwi-kyung was already too tired. Since his sixth regression, he had thought it would be better to die, so continuing to regress was half out of inertia.

He worked at companies because he had no choice, and he was alive because there was no other option. In a life without an end button, where he was just hanging on, suddenly the only person who understood him appeared. It would be stranger not to develop feelings for him.

Hwi-kyung thought he had made a mistake from the moment he accepted Gyo-ha’s job offer. Even knowing that Gyo-ha wanted to help him, he felt he had made too shortsighted a decision. He kept feeling uneasy, wondering if he had put Gyo-ha in a difficult position due to a momentary impulse.

But it was also difficult to back out now. Marcia’s face, thanking him, kept coming to mind. If it weren’t for Hwi-kyung, Marcia would never have become a permanent employee.

So correcting things now would require quite a complicated process. It wouldn’t be difficult to persuade Gyo-ha to go to another workplace, but if Hwi-kyung left, Gyo-ha would have no reason to maintain the corporation.

But it wasn’t easy to think simply. Since childhood, Hwi-kyung had to constantly think about what came next. How he would live if his parents divorced, how he would manage if he couldn’t get a scholarship in college, what certification he should get next if he couldn’t get into a good company this time…

Such worries continued until now. If he really liked Lee Gyo-ha, was it a rational affection… or just a misunderstanding because he was too tired…

[Hwi-kyung-ssi]

[I’m leaving a message because you’re not answering the phone]

[Did you get home safely? I told you I should have driven you]

[I’m a good driver]

Though he was a chaebol, Lee Gyo-ha kept sending messages to Jung Hwi-kyung, not quite behaving like a gentleman.

[Yes.]

[I got home safely.]

[I know you’re a good driver.]

Hwi-kyung replied to Gyo-ha’s messages, not backing down. There was no benefit in letting him know he was in a troubled state. Gyo-ha would try to gauge Hwi-kyung’s mood to prevent entering the next cycle, and if he knew Hwi-kyung had developed feelings for him, he would undoubtedly offer to be by his side without much thought.

Jung Hwi-kyung disliked this aspect of Lee Gyo-ha. Unlike Hwi-kyung, Gyo-ha’s affection was as light as a feather. It was in his nature to try to undress someone just because they were wet, and to help in every way possible, even at his own expense, just because they were both regressors.

Just seeing how easily he said he liked someone, it was clear he had much more experience than Hwi-kyung, who didn’t know the first thing about romance. Hwi-kyung felt miserable imagining the affection Gyo-ha would give out like charity. He didn’t appreciate his sympathy.

[There’s no need to regress yet]

[I’m perfectly fine.]

[I’ll see you on Monday.]

With that final message, Hwi-kyung turned off his phone. If Gyo-ha kept sending replies, it was obvious that Hwi-kyung would end up responding rather than ignoring them. Gyo-ha was sensitive about messages being read and ignored.

The best way to sleep soundly without checking the messenger notifications was to turn off the power. Hwi-kyung decided not to think about Gyo-ha anymore. As always, it was enough if his feelings weren’t discovered.