My Infinitely Long End-Of-The-World Regression Journal

I think I mentioned earlier that Abnormalities could be almost anything out of place. If I didn't then, let me fix things and say that now.

In the short 2 months that the new world existed before being destroyed by the Flood Dragon, I'd heard of all sorts of things.

Small creatures, terrifying shadowy entities...even smaller, less noticeable things like concepts, viruses, and entities. 

Then there were the big ones. Buildings, areas...those were rare, though. Mostly only seen during the Tutorial. That was why the Lost Forest itself was such a gigantic rarity. It was a terrifying place.

Still, not every abnormality needed to be incomprehensible or nightmarish. And they honestly didn't need to be too complex, either. Some could just be terrifying through the act of existing. Existing as simple, dangerous existences...

That all is to say...

"HOLY SHIT, WHY A T-REX?!"

I ran through the forest faster than I ever had before, everything a blur past me. Even with my impressive running speed, the living fossil from the prehistoric era was hot on my tail. 

It was big, but it was also fast. And it covered much more ground than me with each gigantic, earth-rumbling step.

"---!"

It roared again, and I swore I could feel the heat of its' breath on my back, even with the distance I was working so hard to keep between us.

I could imagine it easily - being grabbed by those jagged teeth and then being ground into mincemeat inside of the dinosaur's putrid mouth, or impaled by the claws on its' feet.

There were 1,000 ways to die against this thing, and I wasn't seeing any possible way to win.

But I'd have to think of a way soon. It was fast, in much better shape than me, and it was ravenously hungry by the look of it, running on instincts. 

I couldn't kill it. I had trouble trying to beat up a shadow security guard, let alone a goddamn dinosaur!!! Sure, I could do some flips and tricks, but what did that mean?

Just as I was feeling hopeless, I remembered something. Something that Viola had taught me during one of the earlier 'mental training' sessions.

--

"...disciple, I have a question for you." 

Viola was crouching in front of me, looking up into my eyes. I had them shut tightly, trying my damndest to concentrate. I didn't speak, because I knew that'd just lead to me getting the rock-weight fingerflick again.

"Why are you so focused on getting power? I mean, I'm just curious. Ahh...you have my formal permission to speak."

Even after she gave me permission, I was still quiet for a while. I mean, how do you just answer a question like that?

'I can't tell her that I've died before and I don't want to die again. Or that I need to save the world from a threat nobody but me knows about...or that I have to be able to kill something that seemingly doesn't even exist in physical reality.'

"Viola..." 

I almost immediately winced at my mistake, but she didn't seem to care much. She was genuinely listening to me, with no pretenses or jokes behind her gaze. I sort of appreciated it.

"...have you ever had to face something that you can't kill?" 

Viola looked at me curiously. I wondered if, for her, someone so impossibly strong, such a question sounded as ridiculous to her as her question had sounded to me.

However, she didn't give me a reaction like that. No, she just...laughed.

"Hahahaha! Oh, wow...that isn't a question that I ever expected someone like you to ask me, disciple." 

I wondered briefly what she meant by 'someone like me', but there wasn't a chance to ask, as she continued talking.

"No. I've never once fought something that I can't kill." 

Her response was a bit chilling. And a bit distant. It made me feel, for a second, that she really was inhuman. I wondered if she had even struggled before...

"But don't get me wrong." She spoke quickly, as if detecting the inner turmoil within me that the answer had created. "That doesn't mean I haven't found something I haven't been able to kill...by normal means."

I stared at her curiously, dumbfounded.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well...I can't tell you that yet. It isn't the time." She stood, placing her hands behind her back as she stretched her chest out. For a second, I thought she looked beautiful in the sunlight than shone off of her pale skin. "But I do know why you're asking. You've seen one of them, haven't you? Something that you can't just defeat by hitting it harder. An unnatural thing that even defies the existence of regular pain, injury, and death."

Her words brought back the memories of it. The Flood Dragon...I remembered throwing everything at it, but still being unable to kill it...plainly because there was nothing there to kill. Like it only existed as the shadow crawling within the waters.

"And why do you think more power will let you fight it?"

Her words, only then, gave me pause. I looked up, and found myself meeting those cosmic eyes of hers.

"Well...obviously I...I just wasn't strong-"

"Wrong." She spoke coldly, stopping whatever I was about to say in its' tracks. "Alan...you're clearly just in denial. You ran away, so you thought what you needed to do was find a way to stand up and fight. But when you did, you lost. You thought that you weren't strong enough. That if you could just be more powerful, you could succeed...but who says that's even the truth?"

"What do you know?!" I lashed out without thinking, standing up from under the waterfall. "You've just been lost in this forest for a day or two?! What even gives you the right to tell me this sort of high-handed advice like you know anything?!"

They were hurtful words. I knew they were. No matter how mysterious I found her to be, I knew that Viola didn't actually have an ounce of ill will towards me. I knew she wasn't really prideful or arrogant. 

But the pain inside of me forced me to say those venomous, disgusting words.

She walked closer to me. For a second, I felt the air leave the area around me. I quite literally couldn't breathe.

I thought she was going to kill me...

Then, I felt something soft. Suddenly, I couldn't see her eyes clearly anymore. The only thing that filled my vision were here purple bangs.

She was hugging me. Holding me closely against her, our bodies pressed against one another.

"It will be a heavy burden to bear. I won't say that it will get easier. But I will say this...the answer is not power."

She pulled away, leaving me without the warmth of her chest.

"To 'kill' something, you don't always necessarily need pure physical force. That is one of the many things that you'll have to realize. Power isn't always commanding others or striking something down. All it means to 'kill', is that, in that game of life and death...you win."

--

I sighed. 

It was such an obvious thing, in hindsight. I hadn't actually done any research on the Flood Dragon. I just assumed that I needed to beat it up. I assumed that I needed a bunch of strong people to gather to throw their pure force at it. And then, when that didn't work, I just thought I couldn't beat it.

I carried that mindset on into dying to the security guard...I just tried to fight it, thinking that would be enough.

What I should've been doing is what you should always do with Abnormalities. They're not incomprehensible, undefeatable gods. They're unnatural, but they have origins. And tied to those origins, are plenty of weaknesses.

And if they don't? Then, just get creative.

I ran through the trees, my eyes now narrow with determination. I could hear the T-Rex following behind me, and I was glad. In fact, I slowed down purposefully, enticing it into trying to lean down and take bites out of me.

I could hear the snapping of jaws just inches from my back, and it was making me feel the thrill of it all. My body must've been pumped full of adrenaline. The terrain got rougher. Rockier. I had to duck under tree branches. Run directly through thorny bushes. Jump over unavoidable boulders.

I couldn't feel it anymore. Any of the tiredness that had been plaguing my body. I felt...free.

This was different. Different from all the other times I had ran away from something. I wasn't afraid anymore...well, I still didn't want to die, but that wasn't all I had in my head. I...was enjoying it?

'God...maybe that crazy Master really broke something in me for real.'

After weeks of gruesome, hellish training...I felt like I finally got a piece of it. A piece of how I needed to confront things. 

It was usually almost impossible to navigate through the forest. But, thanks to my seemingly perfect memories, I had already noted a few 'paths'. 

I ran, and ran, and ran. My feet were becoming bloody. My lungs were screaming. My body was shutting down.

Then, just as I was reaching my limit, I saw it. A large cliff, right in front of me, covered by trees. 

I slowed down even more, letting the T-Rex nearly reach me, and then...I jumped.

The T-Rex, having had its' head down, too busy arrogantly watching and waiting too snap up its' seemingly already-caught prey, didn't notice the cliff until it was too late. Unable to stop its own momentum, its' feet slid, and the gigantic creature ended up tumbling and throwing itself over the cliff.

I had won. 

I had killed...a god damn T-Rex.

My fingers gripped the edge of the cliff, and I slowly pulled myself up. I had just pretended to jump off, really using my knack for acrobatics to flip onto the side and hold to the edge. As I got up, I saw Viola, waiting with a bright smile on her face.

"Well, well well..."

She reached out, taking my hand and helping me up. I stumbled, falling against her chest. All of the strength left my body.

She stroked my hair like I was a child, chuckling at my helpless state.

"You did well learning that lesson, disciple."

That night, I slept like a log.

I wonder...this fight may have been the singlehandedly most important battle I'd ever have in those first regressions that were stuck in the 2-month cycle. Not the flashiest, or coolest...but definitely the most important.

It started me on the path to defeating the seemingly unkillable Flood Dragon.