My Platoon is F**king Hopeless

My head ached. My vision was dark. Struggling to open my eyes, I gradually gained focus.

“Where am I?”

I tried to recall the events. It was vivid up until I had shot a fireball through a solid building wall, which got me in trouble with the battalion commander.

The problem was what happened next. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember. I didn’t even know why I was lying here.

One thing was certain: this wasn’t my room. The sunlight streaming through the window confirmed that.

Judging by the crisp bed and bedding… could this be the infirmary?

A few days ago, Lumina had accompanied me as I toured the base, and the infirmary I saw back then felt just like this.

“Oh, you’re awake?”

That’s when it happened.

The door opened, and a woman entered. She had her hair tied in a neat ponytail.

She was one of the senior officers in my unit, apparently named Debra Bennett.

“Do you remember me?”

“Debra Bennett, Lieutenant?”

“Oh, your memory is quite good. We’ve only properly introduced ourselves once, haven’t we?”

Debra seemed surprised.

Ignoring her name tag on her chest, she stood out because of her position as the head of the facility management department.

While I didn’t need to memorize the names of other officers or NCOs, knowing the names of the company commander or section chief was always beneficial.

“I may not remember everything, but I make sure to learn the names of my seniors.”

“Aha~ You’re quite the flatterer, aren’t you?”

“It’s not flattery; it’s proper respect as a subordinate.”

“Ew~.”

Debra recoiled, seeming to dislike formalities.

“What! Never mind. I wasn’t going to say anything about that anyway…”

As I spoke abruptly, she leaned against the door, as if blocking the way.

“Do you know there was a protective spell on the wall you destroyed?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Why did you cast a spell on a perfectly fine wall then?”

Though my head was still fuzzy, I could guess what she was expecting from me.

‘It sounds like she’s talking about the Flame Buster. Testing its penetration power by casting a spell on the wall… That kind of speculation.’

As the head of facility management, she might have to write a statement and report on this incident.

So, the correct answer would be…

“I failed to control it. That’s all.”

I firmly dismissed any controversy. I had already told this part to the battalion commander and Lumina. Adding more details could turn into perjury.

It’s better to admit everything at 100% than to be seen as an uncontrollable lunatic for investigating the spell’s power by shooting it recklessly at a wall.

“Are you really saying it was just a failure to control it? Were you trying to demonstrate a spell?”

“Fireball.”

“…”

Debra’s eyes wavered. Yes, I’m an idiot. As a mage, I can’t even control a Fireball.

“Did you really get hit by a Fireball?”

“Yes.”

“Really, truly?”

“What are you asking?”

The situation was simple.

While researching magic, I accidentally fired a Fireball unknowingly.

That Fireball struck a random wall in the barracks, causing the already aged wall to collapse.

That’s it.

Was there anything else to add?

Lumina mentioned that there was a defensive barrier on the outer wall, but I had no idea how it was broken.

“But it’s strange that a protective spell could be breached by just a Fireball.”

“Who knows? Maybe the mage who set the barrier was flawed.”

As soon as I said that, Debra’s gaze turned icy. She pointed at herself and replied.

“The one who set the barrier was me.”

“Oh.”

“So, it’s even more suspicious. Sergeant Enok, are you really the one who fired the Fireball?”

Ouch! Yes!

I instinctively knew further explanation would be futile, so I simply nodded.

“Have you ever been tested for magical aptitude at the disciplinary barracks?”

“No. Those records should be with the battalion commander or personnel officer.”

“That makes sense…”

Debra made a complex expression, then seemed to make a decision and left the room.

“What?”

Her sudden departure was as abrupt as her arrival. Witnessing this, I began to reform my image of Lieutenant Debra Bennett.

‘She’s an odd woman who only says what she wants.’

But before even a few seconds had passed, she burst back in.

“What?”

“Right, I almost forgot. The doctor asked me to give you this.”

With that, she handed me a piece of paper.

[Medical Report]

Below the hastily scribbled signature of the doctor, it clearly stated my current physical condition.

“By the way, you were unconscious for two days. Stress shock, they say. How surprised do you think I was when you fell face-first into a pool of foam right after entering the battalion commander’s office?”

“Excuse me?”

“Anyway, try to get some rest. They have sleeping pills at the infirmary. In the military, no one will take responsibility for your injuries. This is advice from a senior.”

Such useful advice.

Lieutenant Debra Bennett left the room after leaving those words.

At the same time, my understanding of Debra, the head of facility management, was updated once again.

‘She’s an odd senior woman.’

*

“So, to summarize… That’s how my reputation spread, huh?”

“Yes.”

Sergeant Bella Meyer shuffled her feet as she answered. She was wearing a short dress that exposed her thighs, so I quickly looked away.

Since I found her while she was relaxing, I hesitated to tell her to change clothes.

“But it’s not true, right?”

“What are you referring to?”

“The inspector. From the first moment I saw you, you seemed very experienced for a new officer.”

“If you think so, that’s a relief.”

I already knew my name was being talked about all over the base, even if I hadn’t brought it up.

Rumors are like that.

They will eventually fade away with time or the emergence of new events, so it’s best to ignore them.

But if Bella Meyer is right, perhaps it’s worth taking some action.

An inspector is too specific and dangerous. It could easily lead to serious misinterpretations.

Even though it could be a perfect opportunity to get back at the annoying battalion commander.

But it’s only a one-time reward.

For someone like me who needs to stay in the military, it’s not worth the risk.

“Who’s spreading this rumor?”

“Hmm, there are so many it’s hard to pinpoint. But do we really need to clarify it? They’ll figure it out on their own.”

“It could cause big trouble.”

“Excuse me? P-P-Pornography? Hahaha!”

Bella Meyer suddenly burst out laughing. What’s with this reaction? Was there something funny in my words?

“Why are you laughing?”

“Hehe, I never expected the captain to use such language.”

Sergeant Bella Meyer smiled, her eyes twinkling.

“You know, among the rumors I didn’t confirm, there were ones saying I was a noble’s son or even the duke’s illegitimate child.”

“Not surprising at all.”

My appearance could easily be mistaken for a noble. If looks were rated, I would score at least 80.

“My tone is also quite stiff… Even Lumia seems to fear the captain. There’s something unapproachable about you.”

I do have traits like coldness, stiffness, and pride.

In games, starting with these traits made it hard to gain the favor of subordinates and superiors. It seems it’s the same in real life.

“That’s why I laughed. Pornography, it’s so funny.”

Sergeant Bella Meyer snapped her fingers.

“And I’ve also experienced discrimination based on appearance. So, I don’t care much.”

“Sergeant Bella Meyer is such a beautiful person.”

“Oh, thank you.”

Although it might sound awkward, in the military, appearance can be quite advantageous. It’s useful for propaganda purposes.

After all, don’t famous actors often wear military uniforms in videos? And don’t actresses sometimes wear uniforms during annual events?

If Bella Meyer really had no intention of becoming a mage, she could have joined the Public Relations department.

“But it has to be someone worthwhile. The captain knows I look normal but am not.”

“The truth will come out.”

Despite appearing relaxed, she must be in a dire state, having reached the point of desperation.

But that’s all I can do. I’m a soldier, not a babysitter or a psychiatrist.

“Thank you for your kind words.”

“But where are Sergeants Debra Bennett and Claude Rain?”

“Claude went to the city, and Lumia is probably in the supply department.”

“To the city?”

Puzzled by her unexpected response, she waved her hand nonchalantly.

“Well… I didn’t expect much from the start. He always acts like that.”

“Is he on unauthorized leave?”

“No, it’s probably an overnight stay. Actually, the company commander only threatened to punish him but couldn’t carry it out. The regimental commander and he fought together in the war… If the battalion commander is intimidated, that says it all.”

That’s quite extreme.

Seeing NCOs act like masters in their units isn’t uncommon, but this level of defiance is unusual.

“I need to say something.”

“Mm, honestly, I don’t think he’ll listen.”

“But I’m the platoon leader.”

“Many people have ended up regretting approaching him that way. And…”

Bella turned her gaze. A sad emotion lingered in her red eyes.

“Even if I hate his appearance, he has his own story.”

“…Something from the war?”

“I don’t know for sure. He gets angry as if possessed whenever he talks about the past.”

Over the past few days, I observed that Sergeant Claude Rain and Sergeant Bella Meyer had an extremely tense relationship.

They often exchanged harsh words and insults, yet there seemed to be a hidden concern for each other.

“Sergeant Bella Meyer.”

“Yes?”

“You’re very friendly.”

“Oh, ahaha…”

Bella laughed awkwardly, seemingly not expecting such a comment.

“Um, thank you. What’s with today? I’m getting nothing but compliments from the captain.”

After that, silence fell over the tent. An awkward atmosphere filled the air. Bella Meyer seemed to avoid eye contact oddly.

“Then, you should go back to work! You came here because of the rumors, right? Lieutenant Bennett seems to be talking about it a lot…”

Ah, so that’s what the lieutenant meant. It felt like it would be the case.

“Thank you. Then, I should go back to the facility management department.”

“Be careful!”

Just as I turned to leave,

DING DING DING DING DING!

The alarm bell echoed sharply throughout the underground tent. The short noise continued repeatedly. At the same time, I met Bella Meyer’s eyes.

Quickly assessing the situation, she hurriedly put on her clothes, and I immediately rushed out of the tent.

“General mobilization…?”

This was an emergency signal.

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