CHAPTER 117 - Feelings.
It took a while, but after Alex explained everything, from his promise to Reganath Nemeanor to Zahara's true feelings for Alex, everyone came to terms with this new revelation. Their shock, however, didn't lessen.
There was no way that the shock would go away so easily since all they could remember about Alex and Zahara was them bickering with each other. It was true that they now knew the reason why Zahara behaved like that, but they couldn't just wipe away the old image they had.
Even now, most of them were silent, deep within their thoughts.
The heavy oak table in the center of the room bore the weight of their contemplation, its polished surface reflecting the flickering flames from the nearby hearth. The faint murmur of music and laughter from the ballroom beyond the closed double doors served as a reminder of the festivities they were momentarily away from.
'A relationship between two council members,' Theron, now calmer, stared between Alex and Zahara, recalling how these two, who seemed like polar forces, were now together.
His gaze then shifted to Fenna, his brows creasing at the sight of her absentminded look. She kept staring at Alex and Zahara, confusion flashing past her eyes as she clenched her fists occasionally as if frustrated about something.
But today, Theron didn't feel annoyed by that—he felt relieved. 'It is for the good,' he thought.
Fenna wasn't aware of her feelings, but Theron was.
Theron could somehow tell that Fenna liked Alex more than a friend should. He didn't know when it started or when it happened, but only now was it becoming apparent—the reason for his mood being bad these days.
But now, with Alex declaring his relationship with Zahara, Theron believed that Fenna would cut off her feelings.
What he didn't know was that Fenna's feelings were way more complex than that right now. She stood near one of the tall windows of the compartment, her reflection merging with the view of the sprawling gardens illuminated by moonlight beyond the glass.
'What should I do? What's happening to me?' Those were two of the biggest questions in her head right now.
Since birth, all Fenna had cared about was fighting. She was almost like a battle maniac who loved to fight everyone she thought to be strong.
The same was true for Alex when he joined the student council. He was just a first-year student at that time, yet she felt that he was stronger than their seniors.
On a whim, she challenged him to a fight. Fenna didn't do it in front of everyone; she did it later when she found Alex alone. She had seen him rejecting many fights after all.
Fenna was prepared to be rejected as well, but to her surprise, Alex had agreed. He had a condition that she shouldn't reveal his true power to anyone, which she readily agreed to.
They fought almost every day from then to the start of the election competition for the first-year students this year. She didn't know when it started, but in time, she started to enjoy not just their battles but even their time together.
The problem was that she found it natural, thinking that this is how friends are supposed to be and started treating everyone close to her like that. But the feeling she got with him was unique—a strange calming sensation that she, who only had growing stronger and fighting in her mind, couldn't understand.
That was why, even now, Alex was only her friend—the best one she had. So, why...
'Why does it hurt?' Fenna couldn't understand these complex emotions. She felt lost, as if something very precious to her was taken away.
'Why can't I understand anything at all?' She grew confused and frustrated at her inability, blaming herself for all that she was feeling, and in a way, it was her fault. She was the one who didn't understand her own feelings after all.
But she wasn't the only one who had problems understanding her feelings; Mira was just like her—or maybe worse than her.
The poor girl wasn't even able to express her pain. All she could do was stare at Alex and Zahara. She could hear how Zahara told everyone about her phenomenal date with Alex, and she could see how Alex just kept being humble, not taking much credit.
'I-I want to talk about my date as well...' she muttered inwardly, wanting to tell how much fun she had with Alex and that she also had a date with him, but no words came out of her lips.
'Why am I like this?' Mira, saddened by her condition, just lowered her head. Unlike Fenna, who couldn't understand her feelings because she never learned what it was, Mira, even after trying her hardest, couldn't understand them. She was unable to—all because of her cursed physique.
It gave her power—unimaginable power. But did she want that? No, she didn't.
What did she want then?
'I just want to live a normal life.'
Mira clenched her fists unconsciously, her head lowering. Her expression, however, remained blank, as if she wasn't feeling anything at all.
She didn't want to appear calm, yet she seemed calm. But there was one person who wanted to appear calm but whose quivering gaze and trembling body were enough to give her away—it was Lilia.
Fortunately or unfortunately, no one seemed to notice her as they had their attention focused on Alex and Zahara talking about their date, making it seem like something out of a fairy tale.
'I thought I had come to terms with the fact that Alex and Zahara were together,' thought Lilia, trying to ignore the turmoil in her heart. 'So, why do I still feel like this?'
Her eyes darted toward Alex and Zahara, wondering why she was still feeling like this, even though she knew that Alex was already taken.
The scene of Alex and Zahara kissing each other played in her mind. She hadn't seen it with her eyes, but not seeing it just made it worse as her imagination, which felt shameful before, now seemed heartbreaking.
'Should I just move away from him?' A thought flashed through her head.
Lilia wondered whether leaving the academy would make it any better. Even if it didn't, at least she wouldn't be here to see them like this, making her want to replace Zahara, even if it meant using force...
For the good of her and others, she was now really contemplating her options.
Mira, unlike her, was now thinking of talking to Alex about her feelings. She wanted to tell him about her pain and suffering—something she never told anyone about, not even Vanessa.
Then there were Fenna and Theron. Both of them were thinking about doing something similar.
'I will need to talk with mother/her mother.' They wanted to talk to the same person, but their motives were different. What would unfold, only time would tell.
The center of all of their problems, Alex, however, was busy chuckling at how Zahara described their date in an exaggerated manner, making Aelora, Gurrak, Rodeus, and Aerenion look at her with dubious eyes.
But soon, their attention was pulled to the crowd below as the people seemed to be parting, making way for someone to come in.
Everyone, including Lilia, Fenna, and Theron, turned to the source of the unrest in the crowd, squinting their eyes as they stared at the entrance of the ballroom. Even the higher nobilities and the delegates of the other empires, especially the Holy Empire, who were still perched on the first floor, were focused on the entrant.
And before long, the announcer's voice echoed through the compartment and into the grand ballroom, which had turned unusually quiet.
"The representative of the Drakathor Empire's Church and their entourage has arrived!"
That announcement rang loud, echoing through the whole castle, making the higher nobilities and the emperor, who were all seated in the throne room, spring up from their spots, rushing to the ballroom with grim expressions.