Play Test: Stuck in Another World as a Reality TV Contestant

I scrolled through picture after picture of willowy, picturesque women in scandalous attire bent in incredible poses. My eyes stayed locked on the screen, not moving even as I took a bite of my cheesesteak or a sip of my diet root beer. This was what true dedication looked like. Not to brag, but I'd been keeping this up for over an hour now. Impressive, right?

I groaned and threw my phone like a frisbee to the far end of my couch. This should have been an ideal lazy Saturday and yet I was feeling more frustrated than ever. I had known it would be basically impossible to find most of my friends, but Davis's character started already successful and well-known. She, at least, should have been easy to locate and contact.

"Tell me," I said to my empty apartment, "why does every, single, ballerina also have to model? Pick a lane, people!"

And how did one planet have so many lost cities?!

Today was lost to Recovery checks, so I'd been dealing with everything I could that didn't require me to leave my apartment. Recovery checks were how I healed from Damage I'd taken. Without feats involved, you only got to roll Recovery with a night of rest, or if you chose to spend a day down doing nothing more vigorous than a walk. I'd done well last night, healing 2 points of Murderous damage, but that had still left with me 3. And unlike normal damage, which I was always guaranteed to heal 2 points of with every check, success or fail, Murderous damage lingered.

I'd spent the entire morning trying desperately to sift through conspiracy theories about the Maya Empire to find something that stuck out to me as 'Mystico Maya'. Unlike researching most of the others, if I could just get to Nasim's starting location, I could definitely find him, or rather, his character, Tor Knudson.

Well, maybe 'definitely' was too strong of a word. Nasim had decided to try and power game his character, saddling himself with a load of optional starting complications for more points. Among them was a complication that had made him wanted in connection to war crimes. He had tried to be clever by canceling it out with another called 'Burnt', which made his government, Norway, erase all paperwork alluding to his existence. Meaning in combination, Tor Knudson was a man without a name, history, or country who was being hunted by at least one country, possibly more. He also gave himself weekly night terrors, an evil stepmother, evil step-sisters, an evil blood sister, a tragic backstory, exceptionally delicious flesh, and had made himself a functioning alcoholic because, and I quote, "They're basically free points."

I was against power gaming out of principle – it made people who didn't do it feel like they'd built bad characters – and thank god, or else I'd have been stuck in this world with some ludicrously contrived tragic backstory too.

Regardless, I was confident that if I made it to Mystico Maya, which was presumably somewhere in Mexico, and started asking after a six-foot, ten-inch blonde alcoholic Norwegian named Tor, I'd probably find him. If I got to him before his evil immediate family or government did, that was. Oh, or the personal Nemesis he'd made for himself, an illiterate Welsh bare-knuckle boxer with no connections or wealth or ability to read maps. Although I was kind of hoping that guy would show up to kick Nasim's min-maxing ass, preferably while I was there to watch.

At least I had located 'Neon Harbor', where Ted had wound up. The only thing I remembered from his character was the robotic arm that he'd customized himself. All I'd done was search 'cybernetic technology company Asia' and quickly found several corporations based out of an island city-state in the East China Sea called Ryuukai. I was positive I'd have heard about it if it existed in my old world. Ryuukai had rebelled during the Sengoku period and had never been re-unified, existing as an independent economic powerhouse for centuries, not coming under Japanese control again until the Second World War. It was a modern-day mega-city, with almost 20 million people crammed into an increasingly cyberpunk dystopia that made Singapore look like a quaint fishing village.

Unfortunately, that was where my search for Ted ended. Limb replacement was the current craze in Ryuukai, and it wasn't like I could filter for 'robot arms' on this world's equivalent to LinkedIn anyway.

"I'll be honest guys, I was kind of hoping I'd be able to cheese the Grand Quest."

I was developing a habit of talking to my 'audience', the perverts from across the multiverse, while I was alone. Not that I thought they'd seriously be watching me shirtlessly eat cheesesteaks in my home. The whole point of having an ensemble cast, I'm sure, was to always have something interesting going on. I mean we did all have actual lives to keep up as well as our adventurous shenanigans. For example, I'd started my day by responding to emails from my agent, closing out my bank account, and switching everything over to the Black Card – hardly riveting television.

I checked the back of an envelope I'd been using as a to-do list. If that was all the boring stuff, then I could finally get to the fun, figuring out how to spend my 125 Experience Points.

Oh, right, the nuclear option, I'd been trying to forget about it. This would be humiliating, my friends from this world would never let me live it down. But if there was any chance it would work, I had to do it.

Picking up my phone, I took a deep breath and resolved myself to my task. Scrolling back to the top of the page, I started again down the list, this time following all of the accounts. I cringed with each one. This was the definition of 'horny on main', one step below responding to OnlyFans models on Twitter. Oh god, my sister was going to think I'd lost my mind.

My idea was simple, if Davis had any inclination at all that I was James Li, she would look me up online and see that I had followed approximately every British ballerina alive. This would act as confirmation, hopefully, that it was me, and that I'd been looking for her. It was the closest thing I had to communicating with any of my friends.

After following four hundred and eighteen models and dooming my feed to nothing but thirst traps, I needed some guilty carbs to assuage my social humiliation.

My hand patted a couch cushion, suspiciously free of any fried snacks.

"Come on." I groaned. "Two days in a row, seriously?"

I had reached for where I'd put the emergency giant bag of chips I'd ordered with the sandwiches – an emergency bag because it had been added in a moment of weakness and was so far outside of my diet that it may as well have been in orbit. It was a big, shiny, bag that would have, of course, crinkled loudly if it had been touched at all.

The moment I'd considered how loud the chips would have been, I could instantly hear them being dragged slowly across the kitchen floor. No, wait…I'd been hearing the noise the whole time; I had just considered it beneath my notice until now. Someone, or rather, some fat idiot rat had laid an enchantment on my mind.

The little bastard hadn't noticed me yet. He was still inching towards the back of the kitchen cabinets, from where I was pretty sure he was getting into my apartment, seemingly trying to make as little sound as possible. My 2000 empty calories of kettle-cooked jalapeno goodness blocked his view of me.

I had to do this very carefully or else I'd trip his ability to read Fighting Spirit. I wasn't going to kill him, no, I wasn't even going to hurt him. All I would do is carefully pick him up, put him in a shoe box, take a bus to the subway station, hop onto the train, and drop him off at the last stop in the suburbs. He and I were going for a nice trip, nothing more, nothing less.

I raised my hand in his direction and prepared to roll my first real Telekinesis roll. I didn't have enough dice in the Skill to use it reliably, but I should have been able to hold a rat with it, even a particularly fat one.

I unleashed my Qi in the form of pure kinetic energy, grabbing hold of the creature by its tail and lifting it into the air. "Aha! I have you now, you lit—you…little…chew toy." I squeezed the old used-up, faux rat, eliciting a long high-pitched wheeze as air rushed back into it. It looked to have been stolen out of the trash.

The chips were gone when I looked down, replaced by a small pile of cherry blossom petals. Well, that was nice, at least. Never mind, most of the petals had bite marks.

The worst part of all this was that I hadn't actually seen how he'd used any of his techniques, so I couldn't mimic them if I wanted to.

"When I catch you, I am going to THROW YOU INTO SPACE! Fuck!"

I flung the chew toy at the wall with all my telekinetic power.

"SQUEE-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee," mocked the toy.

[Hidden Quest Complete]

Be in a viral video.

Reward: 5 XP, +1 Performance (Stunts)

[Recurring Quest Discovered]

This quest can be repeated, however, you must outdo your last video each time in terms of popularity. Popularity is measured by: the number of views, speed of growth, cultural impact, and critical reception. The Rewards grow commensurately greater as the difficulty increases.

I jumped a little, surprised by the notification.

The only video I could think of that I'd been in had been the duel. Had it leaked? I outstretched my hand towards my phone and called it into my hand.

CRACK

It whipped past my head like a bullet as I Whiffed on the Telekinesis check, shattering on impact with the concrete wall behind me. I held my face in both palms and groaned. Why did I do that? I could have just reached. I wouldn't have even needed to get up. I could have leaned!

"I could have leaned, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggghhhh. Idiot."

What was I thinking? I 4 dice in Aura and only 1 in Telekinesis – I was a psychic battering ram. It was a miracle I hadn't popped the chew toy picking it up.

I looked mournfully at the shrapnel of my only way to check the internet. James hadn't owned a computer. Not for lack of want, I'd been too broke. I picked up my to-do list and made a note. Now the only things not crossed out were, 'Fun Stuff', and 'Buy new phone'. I squinted at the envelope, then added, 'Kill Rat' and underlined it.

"Fun stuff time!"

Yesterday had been insane in terms of growth, but, that didn't mean I could expect that to continue. My theory was the game was front-loading me with Experience Points from these relatively easy quests. Granted, one of those easy quests had nearly killed me and may have implicated me in gang warfare.

I needed to walk a balance between frivolously spending my XP right away versus deliberately crafting my character with a long-term vision. It wasn't like playing a Monk in D&D for ten levels, waiting for it to get good; I didn't have a party to fall back on. But alternatively, I couldn't go chasing every idea that came into mind, or else I'd be multi-classed to uselessness by the time the XP slowed down.

My most pressing need was obvious – it was the reason I was stuck inside today. I had no healer. James Li had been built with the expectation I would be in a party, but both of my healers were currently scattered across Eurasia.

Luckily, I was already bought into the Eagle Style Kung Fu feat list. Most of the traditional styles contained some Recovery option, albeit trapped behind Major feats and high Attribute and Skill requirements. There was only one that I qualified for, and now that I could no longer dedicate today to recovering inside, there was no reason not to buy it.

[Major Martial Feat]

Circular Breathing – Through your dedication to the everyday principles of your martial art, you have mastered one of the simplest forms of Qi Circulation. Add half of your Aura, rounded down to Recovery checks. Additionally, you may instantly perform a Recovery check a number of times per day equal to your total Aura dice.

"Woah."

My body surged with vitality. Suddenly I was very aware of how much Qi I'd gained last night, and it was nothing to sneeze at. I let that power flow through me, focusing on the fractures in my ribs and the flesh Kuze had ripped apart with his Tiger's Claw. With three Breaths, I was whole again, and I could still manage another today if I had to. Incredible, no matter the farcical lows of this new life, the highs of being a Player Character could not be matched.

I used my Eagle's Talon to cut through my sutures and began to pick them out of my chest as I considered my next move. My remaining 80 XP was more of a conundrum. There were a lot of different roles I was totally incapable of performing. To put it in perspective, James Li didn't even have a driver's license. Now, obviously, I could drive, the Producers hadn't ripped it out of my mind, at least I didn't think so. That was only to say that even when making an all-arounder like I had, I'd still have to leave a lot out of the build. I could sneak, but I couldn't be a thief. I could talk, but I couldn't be a politician. Not a good one, at least. An 'all-arounder' in my mind at the time, was someone who was always useful in a group, not a one-man band.

My next greatest blind spots had to be my: defenses – I was a glass cannon – and my near-total inability to deal with ranged enemies. After those would probably be my holes in dealing with anything scientific, technical, or magical, but I figured I could schmooze my way around the first two, and the last required instruction to purchase normally.

Maybe I was biased by the bits of plastic embedded into my rug and stuck in my hair, but Telekinesis seemed to be the best option for shoring up both defense and ranged attacks. I spent 25 XP in total to buy my only Mystical skill up to 3, which provided a level of control that I was sorely lacking. Attacks made with it would have 7 dice in combination with my Aura score, not many compared to the heights of my martial arts prowess, but still respectable for dealing with your average thugs. Telekinesis 3 also let me buy:

[Major Mystical Feat]

Force Armor – You have learned to subconsciously manifest a thin, imperceptible barrier around your skin at all times. You may reduce all incoming physical damage by 1.

Force Armor wasn't incredible on its own, although I did immediately relax a little knowing it was there. The real benefit of the feat, though, was the others it was a prerequisite for. The Force Armor tree had some real bangers in it. Specifically, I had my eye on Mirrored Force which would let me reflect an attack a few times per combat, and Tele Firma, which could cancel out most attempts to sweep me.

That left me with 5XP for a rainy day. It would be a good idea to keep 5 around at all times, in case I needed to buy a specialized Knowledge. Honestly, it would've been better to keep 25 to 30 in the bank in case I needed a Minor feat, or to get to 3, a journeyman's proficiency, in a new Skill, but I didn't have that luxury.

Once I'd cleaned up my apartment and extracted my SIM card from the shattered carcass of my phone, I headed out to the nearest good electronics store. There were closer ones available, but I didn't want to buy a pay-per-week burner and last generations budget laptop. I was trying to spend enough money that I could forget that I was now 0-2 against a literal rodent. You know, some good old retail therapy.

Rain battered the streets, as it had all day, mostly keeping Harbor Hill clear of the usual hoodlums. Hopefully, the storm would pass by tomorrow. Annie was supposed to come over to Train Hard. And while I was fine with working out in the rain, standing in a steel-framed squat rack in the middle of a thunderstorm was an exceptionally stupid way to die. I'd do a lot for gains, but getting hit by lightning was not one of them.

Since when had buying a phone become like buying a car? Even when paying cash, the salesman kept me at the counter for nearly forty-five minutes. Half of it was my fault; my memories kept clashing, the first time it had really happened. I'd been assuming that Millenium Software, MilSoft, was this world's version of Microsoft, and Maze Inc. was Apple, but it turned out there were something like eight more tech giants in the space than I'd expected, probably as a consequence of the plots and side stories in Neon Harbor. But the other half was definitely because the sales guy had seen dollar signs when I'd expressed my confusion.

My two dice in Electronics that I'd rolled for randomly yesterday only hindered the whole process. They gave me just enough knowledge about hardware that I'd be nodding along at what I was hearing in one moment and then completely lost the next as the man started talking about software. He must have thought I was some sort of idiot savant. I could talk to him in specifics about Bluetooth chips, but was shocked to hear there were more than two operating systems for cell phones.

Anyway, I'd ended up leaving the store having spent three and a half thousand dollars between a phone, laptop, wireless speakers, and a few tracking tags I'd thought could be useful in adventures. It took my mind off of rats, just not in the relaxing way I'd hoped for.

I really needed to figure out my money situation, or else I'd have to go back to doing parcel deliveries most days of the week just to maintain. As much as I enjoyed roof hopping and parkour, the thought of doing an app-based day job as a Player Character was deeply offensive. Gig work for PCs was called adventuring, and adventuring was supposed to drown you in money. My problem was that everyone I could think of who would pay me to 'adventure' in Black Harbor were either literal criminals or deeply corrupt.

Whatever, I had a week at minimum to figure it out before I'd be back to budgeting out cheap protein options and coupon hunting. Maybe I'd hear back from the Stunt Performers Guild by then – a boy could hope.

Two things of interest happened on my way home. One, a young pre-teen tried to grab the large plastic bag with the laptop in it while walking past me on the bus back from the subway. I ruptured his eardrum with an open-handed slap, and he ran away crying. Not my proudest moment, but maybe he'd learn something, like, for example, don't try and rob a jacked and visibly annoyed adult if it looks like he could snap you like a twig. Or maybe he'd stop trying to rob people in general – again, a boy could hope.

The game didn't give me any Experience for striking the child, for which I was grateful. We didn't need to incentivize that sort of thing, did we?

The other thing of interest to happen were the notifications that had popped up earlier, while I'd been waiting for the train back. They had played a large role in why I'd been angry enough to hit the kid instead of just twisting his wrist and sending him on the way.

[Recurring Quest Completed]

Be in a viral video.

Rewards: 10 XP, +1 Martial Arts

[Hidden Quest Completed]

Become an Enemy of the Tiger Triad (Black Harbor Tong)

Rewards: 40 XP, +1 Endurance, +1 Strength, +2 Intimidation

[Feat Synergy!]

Style Maker adds Reward: Learn one random Major feat from Tiger Style Kung Fu (Crouching Tiger Stance)

[Major Feat (Tiger Style Kung Fu)]

Crouching Tiger Stance – You've learned to use your Qi to become closer to the deadly, enormous beasts your style is named after. Like a Tiger waiting nearly invisible in the tall grass or stalking silently atop broken branches, you can wrap yourself in a dense layer of Qi to blend into your environment and deaden your sounds. When motionless in this Stance, you may add your Aura to any attempt to avoid detection even if you are not aware of the observer, and when moving you may add half your Aura, rounded down.

Buying my Aura up to 5 with the Experience made the news sting a little less. But still, the Tigers…

My mind helpfully replayed scenes from my childhood, the last time the cold war between the Triads had turned hot. I'd been six and my sister four. Naturally, our parents had tried to shelter us from most of it, but there was only so much they could do. Car bombs, restaurants burnt down during dinner rush, entire families committing suicide, Chinatown had been turned into hell on Earth.

I had no idea what to do about this, nor any idea of what to expect. My dad had been a professional thief, but Ma had frequently threatened to kill him if she caught him trying to influence either of us down the same path. Even after the divorce, he'd done his best to respect her wishes. If only I could talk to him about this. Maybe if I wrote part of the letter in Chinese, the prison staff wouldn't bother calling in a translator to check over a paragraph or two on an otherwise innocuous page. It was worth a shot.

A full four hours after I'd gotten the first notification, I was able to check my phone. There was a brief pause between the phone registering my number and the deluge of messages from what had to be half of my contact list.

Checking my texts with Annie confirmed the basics of what I'd suspected happened. She had put out a video of me jumping up to the streetlight that had popped off. Someone who'd seen it had gone internet sleuthing and found the video of me fighting Kuze, which must have leaked.

Annie's first message was a gif of an excited hamster, followed by:

'The video I took of you jumping hit a 100k!!!' She'd added the link to the video on her JinJin account, this world's TikTok equivalent in the next message. Followed by:

'Lol, why did you follow 300 ballerina?'

'Haha, omg someone counted and they said its actually 418 ballerins'

'you know, gymnastics is a lot like ballet'

'jk jk lol'

A couple of hours later came a panicked chain:

'Oh my god! James! Are you okay!'

'I saw the fight'

'AHHH pick up!'

'James'

'!'

'!!!'

*Angry Hamster GIF*

I quickly texted back:

'So sorry, I broke my phone trying to film a stunt.'

'I'm all good.'

'Look. It wasn't that deep.'

I sent her a selfie holding up my shirt and showing off the scars from Kuze's attack.

A bubble popped up showing that she was writing her response and stayed there for a good thirty seconds until I finally got a:

'lol'

'Ive totally done that before'

'Not the kung fu fight with a rival. The breaking my phone thing.'

'Are we still on for tomorrow'

'?'

I sent her a confirmation. She responded with a gif of a hamster rubbing its hands in front of a slice of watermelon. Out of curiosity, I clicked the video she'd posted. Damn, Annie had 75 thousand followers. The benefits of being a Penn State cheerleader I supposed.

The video started with a voice-over of clips of her doing some insane jumps and flips from her cheerleading and gymnastic days. "So you guys know how I'm crazy good at jumping already. Pretty standard stuff," she said, as a clip of her doing a triple front flip from standing played. "Seen it, done it, whatever. I'm a genetic freak, right?" she asked in front of a video from when she was twelve, clearing the long jump pit.

The camera then switched to front facing. I recognized her outfit as the sweatsuit she'd been wearing after we'd finished filming. "Oh, hang on, wait a minute. Nope, turns out your girl's a genius because it was technique the whole time. I met this guy, James Li on set today and, because he's cracked, he drew this after watching me jump four times."

She held up my notebook to the camera. I'd let her keep it after dinner. "Look! Look at it! There's like, arrows, and a sketch of me, and little dotted lines for movement! And I know what you're saying, 'That means nothing to me, I can't read his handwriting.' Well first of all, rude. And second, it doesn't matter that neither of us can read it, because James can, and watch!"

An old video of me practicing parkour played that she'd pulled off of a dusty MeTV page I'd started in high school. How did she even find that? "This is how he used to jump, okay. No shenanigans here, you can look it up yourself. And now see him from today!"

The clip of me jumping up to the streetlight played. It was quite picturesque, bathed in the reds and oranges of pre-sunset Black Harbor. Annie had an eye for this. "He learned it! He learned how I jump in one day! Not even, this was after grabbing dinner after work! He's goated!"

The highest-rated comment was, 'Loooool why he followed 418 ballerinas today! Girl, get your man!' The next highest was a link to a MeTV video and a wide-eyed emoji. Sure enough, it was of my spar with Kuze, titled 'Shifu James fights Tiger Gang school challenger'.

The highest comment under that video was, 'Yeah he can dodge the deadly tigers claw, but can he dodge 418 thirst traps?'

Matt sent me an apology. Not all of the beginner students had been added to their group chat. Kelsey, the beginner in question, had also sent me an effusive apology and asked if she should take the video down. I told her not to bother. It had surely already been re-uploaded, and if not, someone would do so the moment the original disappeared. Plus, if the Tiger Gang were dumb enough to target an Eagle School student, they'd be guaranteeing my mother's wrath. Me, I was a Master of my own art, lived independently, and was already a part of the 'Martial World', known interchangeably as the 'Underworld'. I was fair game by the laws of the Triads. Kelsey, on the other hand, was a barista who had taken up martial arts to try and get a flat stomach.

Scrolling through the rest of my messages, it was mostly the same timeline of events. Messages of congratulations becoming light-hearted jests, light-hearted jests becoming messages of concern. The few outliers included my mother, who chided me for leaving dents in the plaster ceiling of the schoool from when I'd kicked off of it, and Cory, one of my friends in the Cranes. I had called Cory this morning to get his take on the situation with the Tigers. The Miko that Huo Laoshi mentioned had also texted me, but I put that aside for now.

'Oh shiiiiiiit, you didn't tell me it was Tanaka,' read Cory's text. 'The stank you put on his name gotdam. Kuze. Ice cold.'.

A minute later he added:

'YOOOOOO wtf that was NOT a spar!!'

'Dude this was way worse than you made it sound'

'Fuck James'

'Call me asap'

I sighed and hit the call button. Cory and I weren't that close, but we had known each other our entire lives. He'd grown up idolizing the Triads and had always been a bit of a dipshit, but was fun to be around in bursts. Though he could also find ways to surprise you, like when he mastered the Xiang dialect of Chinese to impress the higher-ups in the Crane Triad.

It sounded like he was at a club or party when he picked up. "Jaaaaaames! Yo everybody, it's James Li! He fucked up Tanaka!" I heard a raucous cheer in the background. "I'm going to go take this! Sorry, bro, I'm at karaoke, one sec."

"Take your time."

I regretted giving him the permission in short order. Cory ran into three more people on the way out of the karaoke place, making sure to tell them all he was talking to me, that I'd fought Tanaka, and relaying back their greetings and congratulations. After a bit, I heard the sound of a door cut off the background noise and the telltale flick-and-singe of a cigarette being lit.

"Aight, I'm good. Don't say too much on the phone though, we got to keep this on the DL."

I gritted my teeth. "Keep what on the DL? You told half of the club you were talking to me."

"Haha! True, true. But, like, no specifics and shit, right?" He took a drag of his cig. "But, damn, bro. You kinda fucked, huh?"

I took a deep breath. "Cory, this morning you told me I did everything right and it would be fine even if the video leaked."

"Bruh, what! Nah, you playin' right now. You told me you beat him badly, not that you near ripped his fucking arms off. And you didn't tell me it was Kuze fucking Tanaka. That dude is psycho, bro."

"Why does that matter? Wouldn't the Tigers care less about me mauling one of their Japanese members?"

"Bro. I can count the Japanese Tigers on two hands. You think one of them decided to run wild? Nah, no way. Tanaka does what he's told. I can't say more than that on the phone."

Why would the Tigers be trying to rile up Ma? Or had they been punishing Kuze by sending him to get his ass kicked?

I sighed. "Okay. So now what do I do? Can't I just, I don't, kowtow to one of their captains in public?"

He laughed. "Y'all past that, homie. You could let them beat your ass in public, though. That'd for sure do it."

I opened my mouth to respond but stopped myself and considered it for a moment. It was probably the most sensible, least dangerous way to put an end to this conflict before things got out of hand. But…

"Fuck that. I'm not letting those mouth-breathing bottom feeders push me around. If they want to beat me in a fight, they can start training harder."

"Hell yes! That's what I knew you'd say. Don't worry, I got you covered. I already called around for you – can't say much more than right now. What are you up to tomorrow?"

"Training with a friend."

"All day? Damn. Aight, Monday then?"

"Dueling my mentor and then icing my ribs, probably."

"Sheeesh, son, they'll have to train mad hard to beat you, huh? What about Teu—"

This was getting suspicious. "Cory, stop. Tell me what you can tell me on the phone."

"I mean, listen, bro. You gonna need some help, right? Right. Or else you wouldn't be calling. So I went to the people that I go to when I need some help, ya feel me?"

Yep, that was where I thought he was going. "No, no, no. I'm not getting your higher-ups involved in this, man."

"Chill, it's not that big of a deal. Look, I'ma be at an opening night party this Thursday for my boy's new club. Come out. I promise you it'll be worth it. Plus, it's been a mad minute since we partied."

"Cory, the last time I went to a party with you, you left me to do blow with a stripper for two hours."

"Whaaaaat, it was my birthday."

"It was my birthday!"

"Oh yeah," He laughed. "I was warming her up for you, bro. Loosening the jar lid – hahaha! Anyway, it'll be fine. I won't have two hours' worth of blow this time." I waited silently for him to stop laughing. "But for real, the club's not even in Chinatown, you'll be fine. Who knows? Maybe you make a few friends."

"Fine. I'll come out." It wasn't like I had any better leads.

"Sick! Yo, I met this stripper that said she used to be a ballerina by the way—"

"I'll see you Thursday, Cory."

I needed a palate cleanser after talking to my most annoying friend. Thankfully, it looked like the Miko hadn't seen either of the videos with me in them. Or if she had, she'd been polite enough not to mention them.

She picked up on the first ring and spoke quietly, apologizing and letting me know she was at a library. We introduced ourselves. Her name was Ishida Maki, or Maki Ishida in American, and she was a junior at BHU. All that Huo had told her about me was that he'd picked me up at the street she'd told him to keep an eye on, and that I'd been shaken at the time.

"Mr. Huo told me you had an…experience on Bell Street by the old gum factory. I'd like to ask you a few questions, is that okay?"

"Sure."

"First of all, are you a martial artist?"

"I like to think so."

"Yes or no, please."

"Oh, uh, yes, I'm a martial artist."

"Okay, and can you verify if any of the following were true for you? Were you injured? Had you been fighting recently? And did you have any fresh blood on your clothing?"

"Yes to all of those."

"…I see." Her voice had gone from quiet to dull and disaffected. "Can, can you please tell me what you experienced."

I gave her the rundown on what had happened, leaving nothing out; the sense of dread, the stagnant air, strange laughter, the smell of bile, the killing intent. "Oh," I added, "and when I got home it was like something had untucked my bandages from under my shirt."

I heard shaky breathing from the other end of the line. "Are you okay?" I asked.

She whispered as though to herself, "So soon." Clearing her throat, she said. "I'm sorry, Mr. Li—"

"James."

"James. You've been a great help to me. I don't have any more questions at this time. I would urge you to avoid that area—"

"Nope," I said cheerily. I couldn't believe she was trying to duck me.

"Excuse me?"

"I said no. I'm not going to avoid that area. Why would I? You've given me no reason not to."

"I…" Emotion was beginning to slip back into her voice, edging out the dull, lifeless tone. Good, that had been creepy. "Surely, you must have intuited the danger you were in."

I laughed. "Oh, yeah, I was scared shitless."

"Then why would you – argh!" She took a breath. "Mr. Li—"

"James."

"James. Please listen to your instincts and avoid that area."

"No. Why should I?"

Maki groaned. "As you've no doubt picked up on, I am not at liberty to—"

"And that's fine! I totally respect your boundaries. I'm just saying that I'm going to go that street a lot. Way more often than I would. In fact, I'm going to keep going until something happens. Oh! And now that we've had this conversation, I'll make sure to arrive injured and bloody. The 'recently fought' will be hard, but there's enough thugs in Harbor Hill who I'm sure would oblige me. Unless," I paused for emphasis, "I were to hear some specific information about why I shouldn't do that."

There was a long pause. I swear I could hear her grinding her teeth. "Tell me, do you have any experience with the supernatural?"

"One time I went camping and thought I heard a ghost, but it turns out that's just what foxes sound like."

She muttered something in Japanese to herself. "Mr. – James, listen to me. The being that toyed with you is an exceptionally powerful Hungry Ghost. You cannot harm it physically. It hungers for male martial artists, and it has killed many dozen over the years. Do not return to its territory. It has already had a taste of your blood. You have no way of fighting it. You will die. Do you understand me?"

"Maki – do you mind if I call you Maki?"

"I do."

"Ms. Ishida, you listen to me. If something is hunting in Chinatown, it's my responsibility to deal with it, especially because it sounds like I can lure it out better than others. And don't underestimate my martial arts. I'll figure out a way to harm it." I chuckled. "Hah. You've got me excited. I wonder what's stronger, my Black City Style, or a legendary warrior hunting ghost?"

"The legendary warrior hunting ghost!" she shouted. She added quickly to someone else in the library, "Sorry, sorry." Maki got up and started walking quickly, angrily whispering, "Are you an idiot? You just admitted you have no way to harm it."

"Hmm, if only I knew someone with more experience with the supernatural…"

"ARGH!" her voice echoed as if she was in a stairwell or bathroom. "Don't you think I would help if I could?!"

"Why would I think that? I don't know you." I hummed in faux thought. "But that is a bummer to hear. I guess I should get my affairs in order before I do this, get a will together. Ha! What am I saying, I'm broke and don't own anything. I guess that means I can start hunting this ghost right away then. Just curious, why can't you help?"

This time I could hear her teeth grinding. "I'm, not, allowed, to. I was forbidden from trying to exorcise this spirit."

"Oh, so you probably shouldn't have been looking into it at all."

"I…"

"Ms. Ishida, ignoring everything else, do you want to help me exorcise this spirit?"

"More than anything." Her voice cracked.

"Well, you're already breaking the rules just by having this conversation, right? And hey, I won't tell if you don't." There was a long silence, long enough that I had to check to see if the call hadn't dropped. "Ms. Ishida?"

"Maki…please call me Maki. I'll need something to tell my parents. If they hear I'm hanging around a martial artist from Chinatown – well, they aren't stupid."

I hummed in thought. "Do we strictly need to interact with your parents at all?"

"Our temple is a highly secure place of power. There are artifacts I will need to borrow, and certain shrines that I will need to do my preparatory rites in. Rites on you. And while I could sneak into those shrines, bringing you will raise literal alarm bells, so yes."

I offered the first plan that came to mind. "Are you single?"

"You can't be serious."

"Well?"

"Yes, I'm single. Happily, thank you."

"What? I'm not actually asking you out, you maniac. I was offering it as a smoke screen. Huo Laoshi already tried to set me up with you. He was going to bring me to his calligraphy class. I could ask you out there."

"I don't know…that isn't like me."

I laughed. "Hey, I'll do the charming, all you have to do is swoon appropriately."

"I'm gay, James."

"Maki, I really can't stress enough that I'm not asking you out."

She sighed. "My parents know that I'm gay, James."

"College is a time to experiment."

That got a laugh out of her. "Kami-sama…I can't believe I'm doing this. Fine, ask me out on Tuesday, but please, be smooth about it. Ugh, my mom is going to be thrilled at the chance for grandkids again."

"It's a date! Bye, Maki," I sing-songed.

She groaned and hung up.