Possessive crush

Eve sits on my bed with her mouth open. She blinks her eyelids without making a sound.

I can see that she is in shock. What I just told her shook her up quite a bit. She can't believe what happened at Felix's birthday party.

- It's not just that he has a paranoid personality. He has been obsessed with me since elementary school. I am a threat to him, and he is a threat to me and other people," I say, nervously playing with my hands. - His parents thought he was better off, but meeting me unleashed the madness in him anew.

The blonde wrinkles her eyebrows and rests her elbows on her knees, leaning forward. She looks as if she is contemplating something.

- It's weird. He's been obsessed with you since elementary school. So why did he only notice you after the Mike incident?

- The school is big. He never paid any special attention to girls, besides, I have changed over these few years, and he might not know me.... - I explain.

- What if he had previously been watching you from hiding? Recall the beginnings... When we were talking, you revealed to me that when you were chatting with Mike, he was looking at you, and his eyes were full of love.

- You mean when you joked that he was in love with his friend?

- At the time I thought it strange that he would look at you like that since he didn't know you, but now everything is becoming clear.... - Eve puts her hands to her mouth - God, it sounds even scarier. All this time he was watching you from hiding. He knew who you were... So what was he waiting for?

I feel chills all over my body.

- Why would he do that? It seems to me that he would have tried to get close to me from the beginning.

- Or he was waiting for the right moment to attack you.

- Are you crazy? - I slap her hand, looking at her with angry eyes. - Don't make him a psychopath. Ok. He has problems and needs treatment, but he is not a chump.

- And who does he seem to be? How does he treat you? As if you are his property. You are unable to free yourself from him. He controls you.

I look at the window, shedding a tear.

- I can't explain it, Eve.... I love him so much, but I'm also terribly afraid. I know I have to disconnect from him because his parents are already preparing to move. They want to go to another city to help their son with his treatment. I realize that any moment we will have to part, but it hurts so terribly. I feel a terrible pain in my heart when I think about it.

- Remember that he is a threat to you. You will never be happy in such a relationship. In time, it will turn into hell, as you will sit locked in some basement.

I comb my hair back and sigh loudly. I know Eve is right, but what can I do if I still love him so much?

*

The last days of school are beautiful when you can already smell the vacation. This year, unfortunately, I can't be happy.

I'm sitting on the grass court, watching the boys play basketball. I am accompanied by my best friend, who is fiercely typing out messages with someone. Furthermore, I, all the while, I am watching Felix, wondering if he is the main reason for my gloominess.

He pretends that everything is fine. Since his birthday, he acts as if nothing has happened between us. I help him with this so as not to impugn that something is wrong.

I don't know if Felix ignores it, or is it just that forcing a smile on my face is already so practiced that he doesn't notice it?

Something strange is happening to me. Although I still love him very much, I can no longer be happy in his company. What was before, everything changed after that night, after the way he treated me in the bathroom and in the hotel.

I have a vague feeling in my head. On the one hand, I would rather not leave him, but on the other hand I want to do it, I want him to leave me alone so I can take a breath and feel freedom.

Now I'm suffocating. I feel like I'm trapped in a cage.

- This is the definitive end. - I am pulled out of my cupid by the voice of my friend, who puts the phone down and looks ahead. - Me and Sebastian have nothing to do with each other anymore. We are just acquaintances who didn't work out.

I wish, like her, at some point I could just end the relationship and breathe.

- What happened that made you take such a decision?

- I confessed to him that I kissed my soulmate during my birthday and had butterflies in my stomach.

I shift my puzzled gaze to Mike, who is just aiming the ball at the basket.

- Why don't I know anything about it?

- Because I have been wondering all this time what really happened then. It's strange, because before that, he was like a friend to me — gay. There was no question of romantic feelings.

My friend is a sweetheart. Breaking up and new love come with great ease to her.

I don't know whether to envy her.

- And just like that, you already have a nose for Sebastian because you felt butterflies around Mike?

- With Sebastian it was some kind of weak infatuation. With my soulmate, I feel somehow so different," she announces with a smile on her face. - Ah, those teenage hormones.

Well... I had noticed long ago that they were getting towards each other. I wanted her to leave our peer and focus on Mike.

It's safe to say that at least I'm satisfied with that.

- I'm glad you made that decision.

- I too will be happy when you finally make the right decision too," she declares, placing her hand on my shoulder. - I'm worried about you, Selena.

I don't answer her. I simply watch Felix when he pushes a colleague because that one bumped into him accidentally during a game. At times, he behaves too aggressively because of trivial matters.

After all, he didn't do it deliberately apologized, so why does my boyfriend keep attacking him?

Mike puts his arm around him, saying something in his ear and reassuring him. It's a good thing that at least he can tame this beast.

They both head in our direction. They sit down on the grass and drink water. I keep looking at Felix the whole time, wondering what is going on in his head.

- Why are you looking at me like that? - He asks as he caps the bottle. - Is something wrong?

- Why did you attack him? After all, he didn't bump into you on purpose. It was an accident.

- Because he weaves around this pitch like a wimp. He can't play the game. I don't know what he's doing in the team," he says frigidly.

I shift my gaze to Eve and Mike, who are whispering among themselves. I don't know if they are flirting at this point, but they look quite charming. And I envy them for it. I felt that way at first, too, before my relationship with Felix became hell.

- The sun is heating so hard today that I start to feel bad. I will go home already," I declare.

- In that case I'll see you off," says Felix. - Give me five minutes. I'll freshen up, change and come back to you, okay?

I nod in response, forcing a weak smile.

As he walks away, tears gather in my eyes. I feel my friends looking at me, so I hide my face between my knees.

- What's going on? - Eve asks in a caring voice.

- Selena, is something wrong? - Mike sounds worried.

I lift my face and look at them with weeping eyes. I'm down and feeling worse and worse every day.

- I am at a loss. I don't know what to do...

They both embrace me tightly, and I cry into their arms. It's lucky that I have them by my side.

*

It's late evening, and I'm sitting on the bed, my back resting against the pillow. I look through my phone, thinking about how comforting Mike's words were when Felix went to change.

"Remember that your happiness is the most important thing. Suffering in a relationship, you will never be happy, even if you love that person very much. Think about yourself, Selena. It's your life, no one is entitled to control it. And I say this because I'm not going to side with my best friend. Not in a situation like this."

I enter the gallery. Three-quarters of the memory is taken up by photos with Felix, the rest are selfies of myself or with a friend.

Why does my first love affair have to be so painful? My first love...

The phone beeps a new message. It is a text message from Felix.

"We will meet now. We need to talk."

I don't know why, but I feel a strange anxiety. I get the impression as if something is wrong. Maybe I'm overreacting after all?

"Okay, let's meet."

"I'm waiting in front of your house."

I rise from the bed and look out the window. Outside, dusk has already fallen, however, I notice the silhouette of my boyfriend. He is circling in front of the fence, looking nervous.

- Something must have happened...

When I leave the house, my parents are not in the living room. They are probably already in their bedroom, so without saying anything to them, I close the door behind me. I have my phone with me in case they want to know where I am.

My heart is beating hard as I face Felix. His sharp gaze lets me know that nothing good awaits me.

- Did something happen? - I ask cautiously.

His diabolical smile is the answer.

- Let's take a walk.

I just do as he proposes and walk at his side, getting more and more nervous with each passing moment.

Felix is strange.

- You knew, didn't you? You've known for a long time," he begins, and I furrow my eyebrows, not quite understanding what he's talking about. - You schemed it up with my mother. You did it behind my back. It wasn't just a meeting where she asked you to break up with me, was it, Selena?

A strange lump appears in my throat. I can't get the words out.

- You are silent, you do not defend yourself, you do not answer.... which means it's true after all.

- I didn't plot anything with your mother. She simply told me about your problem, Felix.

He stops in place and jerks me by the arm, positioning me in front of him. He looks at me with frantic eyes, looking like a demon.

- Don't even think about it... You will never get rid of me from your life. I will do everything so that no one will separate us. I'm not an idiot, I'm not going to just be transported to another city for treatment. It's not me who has the issue, but my parents. My mother wants to control me all my life.

- Your mother is worried about you," I say in a calm voice.

- She would like to imprison me! She hates me! - he yells, and I close my eyelids, knowing full well that I won't talk sense into him. He doesn't see the problem in himself, but in others. He is sick.

- Even though you are already of age, your parents still have the right to decide about you, since you are sick," I claim, touching his cheek with my hand. - You can't escape it. You have to get treatment, it's the only way we can still be together.

With these words, I open a pandora's box.

- I have to treat myself so we can still be together! - he yells at me, squeezing my hand firmly below the shoulder. - So you plotted this together with my mother? You want to get rid of me because someone else caught your eye. I was right, who is this bastard? I will kill him!

- There is no one else. The problem lies with you!

- I'm not going to listen to this nonsense," he announces in a threatening voice. He pulls me close to him, embracing me from behind. He puts a handkerchief to my face, which emits a strange smell, and then I feel myself starting to drift away.

I get dizzy, I get very sleepy, and the sentence that Felix says at that moment is the last thing I remember:

- Everything will be fine, Selena. No one will separate us. I promise.