PTSD Military Chaplain of the Academy

I realized that this was the world of a novel about two years after I became possessed.

To be honest, it wasn’t a very interesting novel. I barely made it past around twenty chapters. The character I possessed had a name I had never heard before.

So at first, I thought I had been reincarnated into a different world. I only remembered my life on Earth, and I had become a completely different person.

One thing was certain: even if I had realized I was possessed a bit earlier, nothing would have really changed.

The moment I realized I was possessed, war had already broken out. I received a letter while serving as a sub-priest in a small church in a rural village.

It was a conscription notice. A notification that I was to be drafted as a military chaplain.

To be frank, I wasn’t particularly worried. Like the protagonists in the novels I had read before, I had a rather special talent.

I had a purer divine power than other priests, and based on that, I possessed excellent healing abilities. That was my strength. Therefore, I was arrogant. There would be many people in need on the battlefield, and I arrogantly thought I would use my abilities for good.

At that time, I was a fool filled with an unmeaningful arrogance.

A good heart can sometimes turn into arrogance. The decision I made was undoubtedly a good one, and because of that, my arrogance grew like a snowball.

People praised me to the point where they exhausted their saliva, and I lived a life like the protagonist of a novel. It was the product of my arrogance and vanity merging together in my imagination.

And so, I accepted the conscription with a light heart, to the point of being childish.

Looking back now, that should not have happened. I should have refused the draft instead. Even if it meant rotting in prison, I could have at least maintained a semblance of a human life.

The sound of gunfire that could tear ears apart is still vivid in my memory. The sight of limbs being dismembered before my eyes is still fresh in my mind. I can still clearly recall the image of a rat soaked in blood peeking out from the eye socket of a corpse.

Before I possessed this body, there was a great war called a world war on Earth. Of course, I only learned it through history; I never actually experienced it. I was born in an era after the war had ended.

The peace of our time. A peace governed by absolute power. It was a life that had grown accustomed, complacent, and lazy in that peace.

For that reason, it might be particularly difficult for me.

In the world of the novel, a great war occurred. For someone like me, who had survived six years in that hell.

The harder I fought to cling to this hellish life, the more suffocating it felt. The more medals I earned on my chest, the more they tightened around my neck.

To me, it felt unbearably heavy.

***

The entrance ceremony finished around noon.

The freshmen scattered to explore the dorms and classrooms where they would be studying, while the returning students except for them headed to the library or training grounds.

This was because the midterm exams of the first semester were imminent. The freshmen had not taken the first-semester exams, but the circumstances were different for the returning students.

“Feels lively.”

The training ground, briefly visible outside the window, was already occupied by the returning students who were fully absorbed in their training. I stared blankly at the lively scene before lowering the blinds and slowly surveying the darkened professor’s office.

A desk and chairs for work. A communication magic crystal occupying one corner of the desk. A large bookshelf and sofa, a table, etc. The furniture was all adorned with luxurious decorations, giving the otherwise sparsely furnished professor’s office a certain elegance.

It was an extremely businesslike arrangement, yet not lacking for welcoming guests. I was quite satisfied. It strongly felt like I was indeed in the world of an academy novel.

I stared off into space for quite a while. To keep distracting thoughts at bay, it was best to clear my mind and zone out.

To me, the meaning of distracting thoughts would undoubtedly become a painfully tormenting time.

– Knock, knock.

A knocking sound broke my alone time, and my lips slightly curved downward.

– Professor. It’s me. The one you met at the bench earlier.

“…Come in.”

If it was someone I met at the bench in the academy, it seemed to be the female professor I had encountered when I went into a state of panic briefly. So, the first feeling I had was rejection.

It wasn’t common for me to show such a demeanor. Therefore, I didn’t want to be seen by others in this state.

“… Well, it can’t be helped.”

With a wry smile, I went to the door to greet her and opened it. It was the appearance of a guest I was not particularly pleased to see.

“Excuse me…”

With dark blue braided hair and a pointed hat and staff in hand. The robe that looked a bit oversized revealed her shoulders slightly. Her deer-like eyes sparkled like the night sky, looking in my direction.

So, it was indeed that female professor I met at the bench. When she saw me coming to the door, she smiled brightly and slightly bowed her head.

“Uh, you looked unwell since earlier at the bench… I was a bit worried and came to check on you.”

“Ahaha…”

“Oh, Professor. I’m sorry. This is so sudden, right?”

“…No, it’s fine.”

I tried to force a smile, but even that wasn’t easy. So I just gave up.

When I greeted her with a stiff expression, her face became a bit sulky. Did she think I was not glad to see her?

… Thinking about it, it isn’t exactly wrong, so I did not deny it.

“Please have a seat over here.”

“Ah, thank you.”

The female professor sat down on the soft sofa. Then she began scanning the professor’s office with curious eyes.

“Hmm… I always feel that theology professors decorate their offices simply.”

“Haha… You’re politely saying it looks shabby.”

“Oh, no…! I didn’t mean that at all!”

She waved her hands vigorously, denying it strongly. I offered her a teacup with a wry smile.

“The aroma is nice. What kind of tea is it?”

“Just cheap black tea. I apologize.”

“Oh, no! I like black tea. It’s great!”

Slurp—

The female professor sipped the cheap black tea and scrunched her face, making a valiant effort to savor it as she chewed on it. At that pure and innocent action, I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.

“Pff.”

“Ah…! I-I’m sorry. That was too embarrassing.”

“It’s fine.”

She turned her gaze towards the nameplate on my desk. I focused on savoring the cheap black tea with my eyes closed.

“Professor Antorelli… Your name is peculiar. Did you come from the Holy Empire?”

“Not me, my father did.”

“Ah…”

“May I ask your name?”

Her expression suddenly turned sullen. I stared blankly at her, not knowing why.

“You don’t know my name?”

“…?”

“My name is Esther. Esther Garrett. I’m a new professor in the Department of Illusion Magic. We were together in the auditorium earlier…”

Now that I think about it, I guess that was the case. As I took a sip of black tea with a wry smile, she puffed her cheeks and abruptly turned her head away.

“You’ve only been drinking black tea since earlier! I was so worried about you!”

Now that I think about it, she was indeed very attentive and concerned about me on the bench. Suddenly recalling that I hadn’t been particularly pleased earlier, I began to feel a bit apologetic.

“I’m sorry, Professor Garrett. I appreciated it back then.”

“Hmph. I’m fine if you know! … By the way, are you not feeling well? You really looked unwell earlier.”

“… A bit.”

“…Hmm.”

“My condition is not at a level for you to worry about, Professor Garrett. It’s just something personal.”

“Well, you know your own health better than I do.”

After exchanging a few words, the sullen expression on her face melted away. She then started twitching her fingers a little.

“And… you can just call me Esther.”

“…Huh?”

“No, uh…”

I could feel that my face was plastered with a confused expression even without looking. Her face turned bright red as she babbled and then sighed as if she had given up.

“… Actually, I transferred from another academy. I don’t have any close professors here… I’m destined to eat alone…”

With her cute pouty lips, I couldn’t help but smile faintly.

“Starting from lunch tomorrow, let’s eat together, Professor Esther.”

“Ah…! Yes! So… Professor Lucio. Hehe…”

I hadn’t permitted her to call me by my name.

“Well, it’s fine.”

She seemed to have a bit of a quirky side. Seeing how visibly happy she was, perhaps she had a bright disposition.

I closed my eyes and savored the black tea in silence. The bitter taste of the cheap black tea lingered in my mouth.

“Hmm… Professor Lucio apparently loves black tea. If you need it, would you like me to give you some high-quality black tea leaves later? I have a lot leftover from a gift.”

When I opened my eyes, I was met with Esther’s deer-like eyes, also sipping black tea.

“…No, it’s fine. I don’t drink it for its taste.”

“Oh, then…?”

“Professor Esther, do you know that I drink black tea in the middle of the battlefield?”

Esther looked at me as if to say, “What do you mean?” I silently stared at my teacup and continued.

“In the field, everything is scarce. Dishes, magical power, even the fuel to light a fire is lacking. It’s unimaginable for cooks to prepare meals amidst the chaos of a fierce battle.”

“Ah….”

“So, usually, we eat the rations provided in the field. They have a long shelf life, are easy to prepare, and rarely spoil.”

Tea leaves from the cheap black tea floated aimlessly around. I stared vacantly at them as they drifted like ships sailing on the vast sea of black tea.

“Interestingly, rations include black tea bags as well, accompanied by a bit of sugar. Do you know why?”

“……”

“After surviving a fierce battle, during those moments when one can finally breathe a little, I always drank black tea. Adding sugar, sweet enough to make my tongue ache with the bitterness of cheap black tea, it made me realize that I still felt like a whole human being, merely by being able to enjoy such comfort at this moment. Black tea became a sort of awakening for me on the battlefield.”

Even if it was just cheap supplied black tea. Saying that made my mouth taste sour.

I tore my gaze away from the teacup. Esther’s eyes were trembling. I stared at her without looking away.

“Demons also roam the battlefield. Just the number of demons I’ve exorcised exceeds five.”

“Professor Lucio.”

“Have you ever seen a person get torn to shreds? You probably will never forget it. I drank black tea even during that time. I did.”

With its gut-wrenching images, I felt like a monster for still sipping on black tea.

That was why, in a paradoxical way, I drank black tea to maintain my already shattered humanity. It was a way to escape for even a second from that hellish reality.

To me, black tea meant that.

“…Professor Lucio, did you participate in the Great War?”

…Oh no. It felt like I had unintentionally brought up too heavy a topic. I set down the now-cold teacup.

“It’s just an old story. I’m sorry for bringing up something heavy.”

And then I pulled myself back from my thoughts. To my surprise, the teary-eyed gaze was now right in front of me. Esther had reached the sofa where I was sitting.

“Whoa, you surprised me. Haha…”

“Professor Lucio. Starting tomorrow, we have to eat together.”

“Ah, yes.”

Esther hugged my arm tightly and murmured. That earnest tone made me nod my head unconsciously.

I was relieved that no outburst occurred this time. I thought so.

Day one at the academy. I now had someone to share a meal with.

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