Rebirth and Blood

Stale coffee and cheap donuts were some of her favorite things. They smelled like freedom and progress made real and despite the nagging wish that some blood had been put in the brew, she still enjoyed the small compliments. The brunette sitting in front of her was another story.

Together they sat in a white concrete basement of the local Addicts Anonymous building with nothing except the two of them, a table of cheap pastries and bad coffee with a poster advocating villain reform programs stuck above the stairs that were illuminated by the bright LEDs lights hanging from the ceiling. 

"So tell me the usual stuff Miko."

Uraraka said with as hard a face as her puffy head could make while she crossed her arms.

"I got all my work done for my job this week, went to my therapist last Tuesday, made extra sure I had at least 3 months surplus of sanguine and took the st pills. Same old as always.

Uraraka kept the stone-like expression, handling a sheet of paper from a file that Himiko knew was from her being protective. The heroine handed the item over and spoke with an edge to her voice.

"I looked up this guy like you asked and he is hired by the Sugarman Agency as it's only sidekick along with a job at some consulting firm. Everything about him seems plain, right down to the fact that he's quirkless."

"And that's a problem?"

The ire in the heroine's did not lessen at all from that, still shanking the former villain with an iron hot glare.

"That's almost cliche for someone who wants to keep something hidden. He just shows up out of the blue, drunk off his ass and somehow manages to meet you at the exact right time? While also having no noticeable history at all, criminal or otherwise? For all intents and purposes Izuku Midoriya may as well not even exist in the world, if that even is his real name."

"Or maybe he's just some random normal guy so I managed to bump into on a very dark night? Trust me here Cheeky I know dangerous and he certainly isn't."

"But you don't give off those vibes immediately either and you did a whole lot of stuff. This guy could be anyone and you just immediately accept him into your life? How do you know he isn't in some weird fetish cult or knows who you are?"

Himiko gave the most flatlined look she could give, topped off by a lifetime of hardship that showed throughout her still somehow beautiful face.

"Maybe he is, maybe he isn't, wouldn't be like it's something that we haven't faced before. Besides it's not like I have anything romantic in mind for this guy, even my version of "romantic". He's just some schmuck that I'm helping out since I have nothing better to do."

A padded finger was pointed at her, but slowly retracted as a wave of emotional exhaustion rolled over the more upstanding woman.

"Look Miko, I understand that you're looking for someone to just be friends with at the least and ever since your release you've been nothing but upstanding, which means you can keep going in life. It's just you have the worst luck with attracting people. For the past ten times in ten years you managed to become entangled with some of the worst kinds of people and it's a miracle you get away with your chastity intact, much less your physical safety. It's just I don't want you to fall into the same trap you keep getting yourself into."

Himiko pursed her lips with her eyes slightly going to the side.

"... I know what you mean and you do have a valid point to be worried about given my track record. It's just, is it messed up that when he offered to make another trip outside to get me blood, I thought he was like that one guy who offered to kill people for me to "drink" when he obviously meant going out to buy blood packs?"

"No, it shows you've been through a lot and noticed stuff that most don't."

The hero sighed at the room itself, not at the woman who thrice times attempted to end her life, rather it was the steel clamp around all their necks since the Meta Liberation war began and ended, taking with it much of what was left of their innocence while the survivors tried to piece together their lives. 

"Himiko I believe in you, I really do, but it's the sheer fact you attract the worst kinds of people by accident that makes it hard to swallow. I might be completely wrong about this guy, for your sake I hope I am because I think you legitimately deserve some happiness in your life, but the longest you've ever been in a "relationship" was two months and that girl was a literal sociopath who wanted you to kill people for sport because it aroused her to watch them die."

The former villainess shivered at the memory. Sure she was alike to that woman at one point, but it came from a place of love, twisted, sick love, but love nonetheless. Her approach to it was so removed that even if they had met in their teens Himiko would be turned off by that monster's view of death and the hunt. She was sure even Tomura and Dabi would have been disgusted if they were still upright.

"I know, I keep fucking up with people. But at least this guy tries to act right. Hell, he's the most self-disciplined person I ever met. Sure he's a fuck up, but he has potential to grow. The only thing "off" about him that I can really see is that he harbors a lot of repressed emotions, but who doesn't at this point?"

Concern colored Uraraka's being when she leaned forward in what might have been an attempt at a comforting pose. Hesitation lingered as if it hurt to suggest.

"This guy...he isn't prone to outbursts, is he? Because I had to deal with a lot of that from Bakugou back in Highschool. I understand how tough that can be."

An eye roll answered her.

"Oh please, if I came across a fucker like that I would have broken his ribs."

A sad light shone in the brunette's eyes. The sort of sorrow only the scars of the past can make as she almost appeared to be looking at something far away.

"No, not like that where it's anger, that's easy enough to manage. I mean like a full on emotional meltdown due to stuff in his past."

She bit her lip as memories of what was her first and only relationship thus far came back.

"Katsuki was...complicated. He was emotionally stunted in his childhood so he had the tendency to bottle them up. With him the one emotion he was always used to releasing was anger since that was the one that wouldn't get him completely berated at home. All the others came out in very sporadic ways that might have him laughing on the floor after a gag in a film or sobbing uncontrollably when we hugged. It was so emotionally draining at times and it wasn't even his fault. Hell, he threatened to kill somebody one time for flipping me off."

Disdain was the single response on the former murderer's face when she heard that drivel about the man who hurt her family.

"So Hothead has bipolar, big fucking deal. I'm used to dealing with emotionally disturbed individuals thank you very much and Greenie doesn't seem that bothered in the head."

Now Uraraka raised an eyebrow.

"You've given him a pet name?"

Himiko glared at the woman who helped so much. She was an angel, but by god could she be annoying at times.

"I do that with everybody. He just happens to have a mop of green hair with green eyes so the name stuck. He's just an acquaintance at most."

She paused, re-evaluating her words suddenly when memories of nearly a month showed up.

"Okay so maybe he's a distant friend at best, but still, it isn't like I want to jump his bones."

There came a far more parental edge to the antigravity user, staring at her like a kind yet stern sister.

"Himiko, I know that look. You two did something, now out with it."

The ex-slasher felt the rush of warmth to her face which could only be from embarrassment as she avoided the judgement leveled against her.

"Well, we've been sparring in martial arts since the idiot never took a class in his life and... admittedly it does give me a bit of a thrill to beat him and watch him squirm, I'll admit that. It's been fun watching him get better and seeing him get angry and then incredibly happy. Heck I find the way he looks when he is scared to be something worth remembering, except he isn't horrified of me despite how rough I am or too into it. It's just a training session and that's it."

Crossed arms greeted her like a stone wall. 

"You're smiling. That means you did more than just spar, what is it?"

Himiko pursed her lips once again and began to twiddle her thumbs, knowing damn well what was coming. 

"See, during a sparring match I may have...said something to zone him out."

"Which was?"

A long pause hung in the air as Himiko kept her head down in shame.

"...I asked if he wanted to suck on my titties because he's a flustered guy and I may-...no I did, stick my hand down his pants and twist his balls because I wanted to show him what to avoid. Afterwards...I forced him to cuddle for payment and we did that for a few...hours. Then we both fell asleep on top of each other."

There it was, the sign that said "I'm not angry, just disappointed". Clasping her hands together almost as in prayer, Uraraka gave that tired, "Everything is gonna be alright" smile.

"Himiko, I think he might be taking advantage of your situation. It's clear you're lonely, anybody can see that but this guy may be trying to use you."

Anger boiled deep inside the blonde as she snarled with her teeth bared, not making the heroine back down an inch.

"He didn't do anything! I was the one making the choices here, he just went along with It! I approached him, I kept kicking his ass into gear, I'm the one making sure he's on track! I'm the one pulling the strings missy, not the other way around! I am nobody's subject or plaything, least of all a loser like him!"

A hand touched her fist, gripping it lightly as the physical contact seemed almost to drain away the anger and anxiety from the blonde. Uraraka looked at her sympathetically as only someone who knew exactly what she was going through would.

"Miko, I love you like family, you know that, and perhaps I am being paranoid. It's just you latch on so hard to people that you tend to overlook things. You have a habit of sacrificing a lot for people and...I guess I wanna know why you're bothering with this in the first place."

Himiko grasped the hand in return. Why was she doing this? He wasn't anything special or remarkable, if anything he was a dead weight on her. But that's the thing about being at rock bottom, the weight doesn't bother anymore. Sure he appeared like a good guy and at least he isn't horrified by her requirements for blood or overly obsessed with it. He was a plain, normal accepting guy with a chip on his shoulder.

Her heart didn't skip a beat nor did she really want to cut him, so she wasn't in love. He wasn't exactly someone she admired either like Stain or Uraraka, since he never really did anything worthy of her admiration, so he wasn't cool. He wasn't particularly wealthy and had even less connections than her, so it wasn't for survival or money. Yet...he was there.

He hadn't run away when she went so far as to put a fucking knife to his throat to make a point. He didn't cringe at her needing to drink blood. He hadn't asked to fuck or do anything obscene. He wasn't weird in a perverted way and he at least came by to visit every week and they could at least joke around. 

How long had it been since she had an actual friend? Not a well meaning Parole officer she owed everything to, not a self righteous hanger on who thought they could "fix her", not a mentally disturbed pervert who wanted to debase themselves with her body and knives, a friend. Just a person she could unwind with and talk about stupid shit and go to concerts or watch shitty movies with or share a meal with.

Somebody who she didn't need to be Himiko Ito, the reformed villain or known as Himiko Toga, the sadistic killer, and instead just be Himiko, the twenty something with a completely fucked life who has no family and loves bad TV. The last time she ever had that was in her teens and she was too mentally far gone to really appreciate it.

All those people were dead, she was the only one left standing by only a thread and it could be snapped at any second. She needed personal connections, she needed someone to just be there because it was hard being alone, it sucked being alone and knowing the whole world would hang you if they ever found out who you are.

Pursing her lips and sucking her fangs, she shrugged as the hand was withdrawn.

"Because I'm lonely and he's the best thing I can get at this point. I don't love him or anything, but he shows up and doesn't freak me out or disgust me so that's good enough. I don't know where my life will go and if something were to happen to you Cheeky, then I'd be screwed. I don't have the League anymore, I never had my parents and everybody else wanted to use me for something. So in the whole heap of shit, he's the one that stinks the least."

Uraraka put a hand on her shoulder, giving a melancholy smile like one seeing a terminal patient.

"I see. Well you can always call me if things get bad."

The blonde smiled back at her, assured by the statement. Himiko knew she had no right to the life she lived, even if she had eventually repented for those lives taken. Her actions were too horrid, but still she went on even after the world left her. Jin was gone, Tomura was gone, Toya was gone, Magne had been taken too soon, Iguchi was gone, Kurogiri was gone, even Sako had been slain, leaving her alone in this horrible world without anyone. Maybe she deserved it for what she did, but part of her owed it to them to push on.

Her villain days were done. She could still pull off the moves and still possessed the skills and knowledge to easily be an B rank villain, especially with the experience afforded to her. But even if she still futilely wanted to change the whole world after learning first hand the consequences it would bring, she had a feeling deep in her soul that if she perished that way then her friends would weep in the hereafter. All that was left was to chip away at the days she had and try to enjoy them the best she could while keeping her nose clean. So if this guy was to be a part of it for even just a little while then she'd accept it and at the very least she had her savior to fall back on if it did go south.

"Thanks, Cheeky."