Reborn in a cultivation world with my Ex girlfriends

Wang Li always knew he was unlucky, but he never thought he would die in such a ridiculous way.

A falling air conditioner unit? Seriously? Was this the will of the heavens?

One moment, he was standing outside his favorite noodle shop, texting his best friend about how he was finally over his ex. The next, there was a loud crashing sound, and his vision turned black.

In that final moment before death, his last thought wasn't about his wasted life or any deep regrets. It was simply:

"Damn, even in death, I'm getting crushed by things I didn't see coming."

Then, silence.

---

A New World, A New Identity

When Wang Li opened his eyes again, he wasn't in a hospital. Nor was he in the afterlife.

Instead, he was lying on a silk-covered bed inside an opulent chamber. The ceiling was adorned with golden lotus carvings, glowing softly like stars. The air was thick with the scent of incense, and outside the window, he could hear the rustling of trees.

No… not just trees. There was a faint hum in the air, like the world itself was breathing.

The sky outside was painted with streaks of violet and gold, two suns hanging lazily in the horizon. Towering jade mountains floated in the distance, and rivers of what could only be liquid spiritual energy snaked through the valleys below.

This wasn't Earth.

And more importantly—

This body wasn't his.

His fingers moved with an unfamiliar grace. His arms, which had once been scrawny and unimpressive, were now toned and powerful. When he took a deep breath, the air itself seemed to course through his veins, filling him with an intoxicating sense of strength.

He sat up sharply, heart pounding. Just as he did, a flood of memories slammed into his brain like a tidal wave.

Scenes flashed before his eyes—sword fights atop waterfalls, drunken nights in luxurious sect halls, breathtaking beauties whispering sweet promises in the moonlight—

And then—rage. Fury. Slaps. Threats of castration.

His expression darkened.

This body's original owner was Wang Tian, a so-called genius disciple of the Celestial Lotus Sect. He was handsome, talented, and blessed with an abundance of luck.

But there was just one problem.

He had way too many ex-girlfriends.

Wang Li's jaw clenched as realization hit him.

It wasn't just that Wang Tian had exes. It was who his exes were.

All of them were powerful cultivators. Not just any cultivators, but elite disciples, sect masters, demonesses, princesses—each more terrifying than the last.

And worst of all?

He had ghosted every single one of them.

Wang Li paled as his memories settled.

"Oh," he whispered. "I'm so, so dead."

Then, as if the universe had been waiting for him to acknowledge his misfortune—

BANG!

The doors to his cultivation chamber exploded open.

---

The Return of the Exes

A powerful gust of spiritual energy surged into the room, nearly blowing Wang Li off the bed. His instincts screamed at him to run, but his body was frozen in place.

A woman stood at the entrance.

She was breathtakingly beautiful, with piercing golden eyes that burned with intensity. Her crimson dress hugged her body perfectly, embroidered with phoenix patterns that seemed to shimmer with real fire.

But it wasn't her beauty that terrified Wang Li.

It was the aura of rage emanating from her.

Memories surfaced immediately.

Li Qingyun.

His first ex. A prodigy of the Blazing Phoenix Sect. A woman with a temper as fiery as her techniques.

The last time he had seen her, she had been smiling at him sweetly, promising that their dual cultivation session would bring them both to new heights.

The next morning? He was gone. No note. No explanation. Just a cowardly, Wang Tian-shaped hole in the sect's walls.

"Wang Tian," Li Qingyun said, her voice dangerously calm. "So you finally dare to show your face after three months?"

Wang Li gulped. He could already feel the flames of his impending doom.

He barely had time to think of an excuse before—

BANG!

Another door flew open.

Another woman stepped in.

This one was the opposite of Li Qingyun. She wore a flowing white robe embroidered with cherry blossoms, her long silver hair cascading like moonlight. Her presence was cold, refined—like an untouched snowfall on the highest peak.

Her jade-like fingers gripped the hilt of a sword, and her gaze was sharp enough to cut through his soul.

Mu Yuechan.

His second ex. The Ice Fairy of the Frozen Lotus Sect.

The one he had promised to accompany on a romantic journey through the Spirit Wind Mountains.

Instead? He had taken a "shortcut" and ended up in a completely different province.

"Oh," Wang Li muttered. "This is getting worse."

Then—

BANG!

A third door.

A third woman.

This one was draped in dark robes, her crimson lips curved into a knowing smirk. She had sharp black nails, a faint scent of blood lingering around her, and a gaze that seemed to look directly into his soul.

Zhao Lingxi.

The Demoness of the Hundred Night Sect.

She had once offered him her heart.

He had offered her a cheap excuse and a quick escape route.

Wang Li felt his entire being tremble.

Three of them. They all arrived at the same time?

"Uh…" he managed, barely keeping himself from passing out. "I can explain?"

Li Qingyun cracked her knuckles.

Mu Yuechan's sword glowed with icy light.

Zhao Lingxi simply smiled, a dagger appearing between her fingers.

"Oh?" Li Qingyun said sweetly. "Then explain, Wang Tian. Explain why you ghosted all of us."

Wang Li's brain went into overdrive.

He needed to escape.

He needed to survive.

He needed—

Another door flew open.

A fourth woman entered.

This one was dressed in royal robes, her phoenix crown glistening with golden light. Her expression was frostier than Mu Yuechan's, and her aura was more dangerous than all three of the others combined.

Princess Bai Lianhua.

The imperial princess of the Heavenly Jade Empire.

His ex-fiancée.

"…Oh," Wang Li whispered. "I might actually die."

---

The Dao of Bullshitting

A wise man once said:

"In the face of certain doom, one must master the sacred art of bullshitting."

And Wang Li?

He was about to ascend to immortality in that art.

Taking a deep breath, he smiled—a perfect blend of regret, sincerity, and shamelessness.

"My dear, beloved ex-girlfriends," he said, voice full of emotion. "I know you're all angry. You have every right to be."

The room crackled with murderous intent.

"But please… just listen to me," he continued. "I didn't leave because I wanted to. I left… because I was cursed!"

Silence.

A single, skeptical eyebrow rose.

"…Cursed?" Bai Lianhua repeated.

"Yes! A terrifying, ancient curse!" Wang Li clutched his chest dramatically. "A vile technique that forces me to flee from any woman I love. I never wanted to leave you! I was trying to protect you!"

For a moment, there was no response.

Then—

Zhao Lingxi burst into laughter.

"Cursed?" she repeated. "That's the best you can come up with?"

Wang Li swallowed.

"…Yes?"

Li Qingyun's flames burned brighter.

Mu Yuechan's sword hummed with energy.

Bai Lianhua's eyes gleamed with imperial judgment.

Wang Li realized, in that moment, that his bullshit had failed.

And he was about to pay the price.

"Wang Tian… DIE!"