Re:life with Karmic Gacha (Modern Family)

[Edward POV]

Early morning. An article about me went viral on the internet and then breached mainstream media, making me the most talked-about celebrity in the world that day—yet again.

As I was eating my breakfast after finishing a heavy workout, Luke suddenly walked into the house.

"Oh hey, Luke," I greeted him casually, as Robin had notified me of his arrival. I had an automatic door opener set up, controlled by Robin, so she was the one who let Luke inside. He immediately sat on my kitchen island and asked, "What are you having for breakfast?"

"Veggie Sausage Strata." I handed him a fork, implying that he should have a taste. Luke groaned in disgust at the word 'veggie,' but the intoxicating smell compelled him to try it.

As he took a bite of the dish, Luke widened his eyes in amazement and nodded slightly. "It's veggie, but it's good."

"You want a plate?" I offered, having made enough for Max, Caroline, Maggie, and Vanessa, who were all still asleep.

Not only was there veggie sausage strata, but there were also freshly made croissants, cappuccinos, fruits, bread, jam, and some biscotti.

"Can I get it to go? Mom asked me to invite you for pancakes," Luke said casually, taking another bite from my plate. Laughing in disbelief, I rubbed his head to mess up his hair and said, "Sure. I can do that. I'll just bring the food there."

Luke struggled to carry all the food in his arms as he walked back home. Claire greeted me as I entered her kitchen. "Edward, have you had breakfast yet?"

"I was in the middle of it when Luke called me here." I took a seat at the dining table with the rest of the family. "Luke stole my breakfast, by the way," I teased as I watched Luke covering the Tupperware with his arm.

"What did he make?" Alex asked curiously, trying to peek at it, but Luke hissed at her and said, "Nothing delicious. Go away!"

"Fine!" Alex raised both of her hands, trying to disarm the hostility.

Phil greeted me excitedly while Alex and Luke had their conversation. "Hey Ed. We're having chocolate chip pancakes."

"Again," Alex mumbled under her breath. Haley smiled at me and asked, "So how does it feel to be in the news again?"

"He's on the news again?" Claire widened her eyes slightly as she flipped the pancake. "For what this time?" she asked.

"He—" Haley started to explain, but I interjected, "Instead of Haley telling us, why don't we all take a guess?"

"You don't know either?" Phil was excited. I shrugged and said, "No. I haven't checked what it's about yet."

"This seems fun. I'll start first," Alex grinned mischievously. "Edward entered the news because he committed a crime again."

"No! And what do you mean again?!" Claire protested while I laughed. Alex continued, "He's quite a hothead. Maybe he hit someone again."

"Yeah, it's going to be you!" I shot back at Alex as I karate chopped her head. She was sitting next to me, while Haley sat in front of me. Luke was next to Haley, and Phil occupied the head of the table.

"Ouch. MOM!" Alex turned to her mother to complain, but Claire snorted and said, "You kinda deserve that. And he didn't hit you hard."

Phil guessed, "Oh, I know! Edward received recognition from the Academy of Magical Arts—"

"No," Haley rejected the guess coldly, not even allowing Phil to finish guessing. 

"Merlin Award—"

"He's not getting an award for being a lame magician!" Haley interrupted her father. "Aww," Phil exclaimed in disappointment.

"The sketches on his Instagram?" Alex guessed again, this time she did it properly. 

Yesterday, I posted several design sketches for the new house and created a poll for people to vote on which design they liked best. The vote wasn't concluded yet, but so far, the Batman-style manor was leading, with an Italian-style mansion following closely behind. 

There were more than 100,000 comments on my Instagram post, igniting an intense debate among my fans. The comment section quickly turned into a battleground, with two factions emerging.

One group passionately advocated for the Italian-style mansion, arguing that it would elevate my image and reflect sophistication. This faction mostly consisted of teenage girls and the female side of my fandom. 

On the other side, the chaotic fanbase rallied behind the idea of the Batman manor, insisting that I embrace my inner superhero since I already had a Batsuit. The manor would cement my superhero origin and turn me into a real life Batman.

They flooded the Thread with memes, fan art, and even mock-ups of me in a cape, claiming that a bat-themed home would be perfect for me. 

The arguments escalated, with fans hurling insults at each other, each side convinced that their vision was the only right choice, and no one would want to keep an open mind to listen to the argument of the other side.

"No. Not that. Although it was covered in the morning show, it's not the news we're talking about," Haley explained, scrunching her eyebrow as she rechecked the article, and also replying to a comment from the other faction underneath my post, using a different Instagram profile. 

"How is it that you know more about Edward's activity coverage than he does?" Claire looked at Haley in disbelief. Haley was a bit shy as she said, "A lot of people send me everything about Edward, even if he was mentioned just a tiny bit."

"I got it!" Phil suddenly slammed the table, shocking all of us. "It's about his movie!" Phil was excited, but he quickly deflated when Haley replied nonchalantly, "Nope."

"Are they covering the treasure hunt?" I asked casually as Claire placed a plate full of pancakes in front of me. 

The sweet smell of the still-hot pancakes made me impatient. The butter melted slowly as it was laid on top of the stacked pancakes, and Claire smiled happily as she saw me enjoying it.

"Not as the main topic, but they do cover it a little bit."

Luke suddenly chimed in, still holding his fork, "Edward went street racing and got caught."

"Please, Luke. I would never get caught," I replied confidently, with a sly smirk. Alex rolled her eyes at me while Haley giggled. 

Claire thought about it for a while before asking, "Could it be about his wealth again? Last time there was an article about his billionaire status—even though he doesn't even have a million in his account."

"Not about the stock value, but that is…." Haley scrolled on her phone for a moment before confirming, "Yeah, it is mentioned too."

"So, we know it's about his wealth. Since it's not what he's gained, maybe it's about what he's given back?" Alex guessed.

"Ding ding ding!" Haley made the winning sound, and Alex raised her hand in celebration. She turned to me and said, "In your face!"

Slightly taken aback, I ignored Alex and turned to Haley. "What's the article say?"

"I think this is from the same guy who wrote your billionaire status article," Haley mentioned before she read the article. 

"Oh, Edward got a stalker." Phil commented.

Haley said, "The title is: [The Benevolent Captain: How Edward Newgate's Family Has Shockingly Donated Nearly $99 Million Since His Rise to Fame!]"

"So it's clickbait?" Alex guessed sarcastically.

"Kinda," I replied in agreement. "I don't think I've given away that much." I shook my head slightly as I waited for Haley to read the entire article.

Haley used her news anchor voice as she continued, "Hmm, 'Since bursting onto the music scene, Edward Newgate has captivated hearts not just with his talent, but also with his astonishing generosity.'" She then commented slightly, "They forgot about his face."

"And his audacity." Alex also commented.

"And his food." Luke chimed in.

I looked at the trio with disbelief as they snickered together. Phil and Claire smiled happily as they watched all of us interact. 

Haley continued, "[With over $50 million committed to feeding the homeless and an impressive $30 million dedicated to supporting small businesses in his city, Newgate's philanthropic efforts have transformed countless lives.]"

Alex turned to me and whispered, "Is that true?"

"I don't keep track. But I can still count them, so it's not really 'countless'," I replied quietly.

Haley continued with excitement, "[But that's not all—he has also contributed millions to charities focused on providing medical care for sick children and funding educational programs for underprivileged youth.]"

Claire was skeptical. "When did you fund educational programs?"

"I donated a new football field to several schools and also gave inner-city kids some classes—so I guess I did help a few." I said with some skepticism myself. "How did the writer know about this? I didn't leave behind any records of it."

"The writer equated the company with you, treating them as one and the same." Claire guessed. "It's not really wrong since you made almost all the decisions for the company anyway." She added. 

Haley continued without caring about the other conversation, "[His commitment to giving back extends to his employees as well; this Christmas, he surprised them with cars and generous gift cards, showcasing a spirit of kindness that resonates far beyond his music.]"

"[As his charitable contributions approach an astonishing total of $99 million, Newgate has truly earned the title of 'The Benevolent Captain.'] Hmm, there's more, but it's just more ass-kissing."

She scrolled through the article as Claire looked at her in disbelief. "Ass-kissing?" Phil mumbled. Claire decided to search for the article to read herself, "Haley, send the link to me."

Haley sent the link to Claire while she continued talking, "Yeah. Ass-kissing. He mentioned how the company employees he interviewed only had good words to say about Edward."

"Oh, he also said that the small businesses Edward supported were the ones who approached him with their stories, which piqued his interest." Haley said.

Claire read the article and said, "Apparently, you helped struggling businesses get out of tough times by loaning them funds without charging high interest or setting a strict repayment schedule."

"Why did you do that?" Phil asked, his expression proud.

I shrugged and replied, "I don't know. Their food is good, and it only took a little to save them from bankruptcy." 

This was still after the 2008 economic crash, which caused many businesses to close shop. They needed a helping hand, but banks were scrutinizing them deeply to provide any support, after the banks were the one who fucked up in the first place.

Claire continued, "The writer thought it was a foolish approach; however, he also found that 99% of the businesses paid you back on the monthly payment plan. They even collectively displayed Edward Newgate's posters and albums in their stores, showing their support for you at all times." 

Haley suddenly leaned in and patted my head from across the table, "Nice job. You did your marketing work excellently."

"Aww. Thank you so much." I pretended to accept that compliment before I asked, "Is that all he said?"

 "I think so. I don't really care to read the ending." Haley replied with an innocent smile. 

Alex looked at her with disbelief and said, "Finish the article Haley."

"Hey, you're not the boss of me!"

"Tell us the truth, you only stopped reading it because you don't know how to say several words the article used."

Haley was flabbergasted and stammered, "I–I know how to read!"

They started arguing while I stole Alex's pancake after finishing mine without her realizing it.

"Speaking of articles, Tara has been wanting to interview you for some time." Haley said after breakfast was finished. Claire wanted to go to the grocery store, but soon after that, Phil and Luke left together to pick up some toys while Phil ran an errand.

"That will be great to watch." Alex said. I turned to her and asked, "Did you finish the puzzle yet?"

Her expression became crestfallen and she said egregiously, "I am still studying cryptanalysis. I'm not going to be obsessed with it, and I will take my time–"

I interrupted her speech, "In other words, no progress at all."

"Shut up! I will solve it soon!" Alex shouted before stomping away to go to her bedroom. 

Haley giggled and touched my arm, saying, "So, what are you going to do? Should I tell Tara there's no way she can do that, even if you promised her an interview?"

I grimaced and changed the subject. "By the way, I have a bone to pick with you."

"What?" Haley was taken aback, not expecting that. "What are you mad at me for?"

"You didn't give me any Christmas gifts," I said teasingly, though I remained confrontational.

"Oh, I umm…" She stammered before saying, "I haven't finished them yet."

"I guess I can wait." I nodded slightly before adding, "If Tara can get here before noon, then I guess I can let her interview me."

"Really? You don't want to ask me what the gift is?" Haley sounded slightly disappointed.

I smirked and said, "I am curious, but I also want to be surprised, so I'll just wait until it's finished."

"It's a shirt, by the way," she spoiled the surprise with a mischievous grin. I rolled my eyes and said, "No more details."

"It's—"

"Falalala~" I covered my ears and walked to the door. "You and Tara should come to my house later if she wants to do it today."

"Ed! The color is—"

"NO!" I got out of the house and slammed the door in her face. As I returned home, the girls were already enjoying their breakfast. Max asked as she lounged in my living area, "We have tickets to a stand-up show tonight. Do you want to come?"

Maggie scoffed and said, "Max, he won't come. He's a workaholic who hates going out."

"Also, the stand-up show is for people over 18," Caroline added with a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah, but do you think they'll stop him if he wants to get inside?" Max argued with a grin.

"Max isn't wrong," I agreed with her. "She's a bit of a wild one, but she's not wrong."

"Why did you even bring that up?" Vanessa looked at me in shock. "Of course, the other wild one will come to her defense," I shot back at Vanessa.

"Everyone should go now. I have an interview here in a few minutes, so you guys should leave," I told them.

"Interview with who? 60 Minutes?" Max asked excitedly. I shook my head and said, "No."

"TMZ?" Vanessa guessed.

"No. More prestigious."

"CNN?" Caroline guessed.

"I told you more prestigious, and you guessed CNN?" I looked at Caroline in disbelief. "What?" She didn't understand what she just did.

"Oprah! Is it Oprah!?" Maggie was incredibly excited.

"Nope," I replied instantly. "More prestigious than that."

"More prestigious than Oprah?! You're messing with us, right?" Max rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"Tell us then, who's coming to interview you?" Maggie asked with derision.

I smirked and said, "Palisades High School Newspaper Club."

Everyone was baffled by the reveal. After sending everyone away, I checked in with Robin regarding something I had asked her to do in the living room.

"Did you find out who informed the writer?" I asked.

"The paper mentioned one of them, the store owner. The charity funds are public access, and he got that information from there. However, he obtained the loan numbers from an executive in your company."

"Who?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"Brett Anderson, Portfolio Manager. She's responsible for filtering out the loan applications," Robin said as she pulled up the employees' information through holographic projection.

"Should I send her an official reprimand about this?" I asked Robin with a slight wry laugh. "Even if her intentions are good, she still leaked company secrets."

It was a fireable offense and could potentially ruin her career, as no other companies would want to hire someone who leaked confidential information. I still didn't know if she did it subconsciously or on purpose, and I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt until I knew the truth.

Robin agreed immediately. "Yes, sir. I'll notify her superior."

"Don't make it so one-sided. I want to hear why she felt the need to do this. Allow her to defend herself. If her manager feels she has a good excuse, then turn it into an unofficial reprimand."

As I was letting the matter rest, Robin suddenly chimed in again, "Sir, it seems that Brett handed in her resignation letter this morning."

"Hmm? Why? For what reason?" I asked, confusion creeping into my voice. "There's no formal record, but her manager discovered the source of the leak and forced her to resign under the pretext of being overwhelmed."

"Make both of them hop on a conference call in five minutes," I instructed, my irritation growing. "I want to know exactly what happened."

Robin quickly set to work, and moments later, the holographic projection flickered to life, revealing the anxious faces of Brett and her manager.

Brett looked pale, her eyes slightly reddened, while her manager, a weary middle-aged man, bore the weight of the day's stress.

"Since you've already submitted your resignation, I trust you won't mind explaining why you leaked sensitive data to the journalist," I said, fixing my gaze on Brett.

"Um…" she stammered, clearly flustered. "I didn't mean to! It was just… I got a little carried away. I was so excited to be part of the company, and in a moment of enthusiasm, I accidentally bragged about our projects to that—uh, journalist. I didn't even know he's a journalist!"

I raised a hand to pause her. "Okay, that's enough for now." Her voice wavered as she added, "I'm really sorry for this."

"Look, if this were a public company, you'd be fired on the spot and blacklisted everywhere. But luckily for you, it's not."

Confusion flickered across her face as I continued, "Instead, you'll face a 10% pay cut for a month, and I expect you to take on additional responsibilities to prove you can handle this. You'll also be placed on probation for another two months."

I decided to keep the incident under wraps, ensuring it wouldn't tarnish her record. The only people who would know about the leak were Brett, her manager, and me.

"So, are you going to quit, or are you going to accept your punishment and keep working here?"

Brett chose the latter. Robin would monitor her closely for the next few months to determine whether her remorse was genuine or just an act.

"The journalist is another thing." I narrowed my eyes as I looked at his profile. He has a classically handsome look, which was why Brett had fallen for his flirtation and goading. But, it's not like he has some animosity towards me. 

"Still, he's giving me a bad feeling." I said as I scrutinized his face. 

*Ding Dong*

Just as I wrapped up the call, Tara and Haley arrived at my place and rang the doorbell. As I opened the door, Enid immediately rushed to hug me, "EDWARDD!!!"

"Oh, Enid, you're also here." I said as she dangled over my body, wrapping her arms around my neck. 

…

[General POV]

"I did what you asked me to do," the journalist said, speaking into his phone after his article about Edward gained traction in mainstream media.

A notification chimed on his phone. He checked it and saw that $1 million had been transferred to his offshore account.

"Pleasure doing business with you…" he paused, then added, "Wainwright."

Agent Wainwright's voice came through cold and sharp. "Never mention that name again. This is your last warning." The agent abruptly cut the call.

"Scary," the journalist muttered, feigning fear as he set his phone down. "I wonder why he wants me to build up that kid's reputation. Is he trying to atone, or is he planning a payback?"

"Well, I don't care anyway." The journalist shrugged before he laid down casually on his living room couch.