Rick and The Loud House

It was a rainy day outside. Lana came running into the house, carrying some mud in her arms. "In a couple more hours, this mud will be perfect to play in!" She said before splashing the mud all over her face.

Apart from Lincoln, all the Loud siblings were downstairs doing there own activities. The Loud parents had gone out for the evening leaving the siblings to be looked after by their uncle on their mother's side, Steve. A blonde, bearded man who was currently reading a newspaper in the living room. Lily was simply playing with her toys while Luan was folding up laundry. Lynn was playing with a basketball, throwing it around. "She shoots! She scores!"

Luna was holding a radio to her ear, jamming to the song. "I bloody love this song! Sing it like you mean it, Mick!" She exclaimed in a British accent. She then jumped as Lucy stuck her head out of the fire place. "BLIMEY!"

"I'm trying to write here." Lucy said, annoyed.

Lola, Lisa, Lori and Leni were sitting on the couch. While Lola was admiring herself with her pocket mirror, Lori had started a conversation with her uncle. "It was so nice of you to buy tickets for all of us to go to Paris, Uncle Steve."

Steve smiled. "Ah, don't worry about it. I wanted to thank you guys for letting me live here all this time, so I'm treating the family to a vacation!"

"That is, like, so sweet!" Leni said.

"Totes." Lori agreed. She then got distracted as she then got a text from Bobby. She giggled as she texted him back. "No, I love you more, silly."

"You two are, like, gonna be together for, like, ever." Leni remarked.

Lisa, who was holding a clipboard, then spoke. "Speaking of forever, Lori," she showed Lori her notes on her clipboard. "My study indicates you haven't used the bathroom in quite some time."

Lori gave her a disgusted look. "EWW! There is no way I'm being in your grody poop study!"

Lincoln then came into the living room, holding a comic. He spoke to the audience. "Ah, rainy days. Perfect for hanging out with the family and reading comics."

While looking into her mirror, Lola's expression dropped as she noticed Lincoln taking off his shirt and pants. She turned to him. "Groooooss!"

"What?" Lincoln asked, smiling. Not really bothered by Lola's reaction.

"Why do you always have to read your comics in your underpants?!"

"'Cause reading my comics with my clothes on is uncomfortable and distracting." Lincoln explained. "And you know how I like to be comfortable while reading comics. Now, scootch!"

As Lincoln sat down on the couch, Lola then jumped off. "ACK! You're gonna get butt germs everywhere! Ugh, it's bad enough you clog the toilet all the time! You have way too many annoying habits, Lincoln."

Lincoln rolled his eyes. "I keep telling you, I didn't do it last time. Besides, me annoying? You can't look away from the mirror for five seconds!"

"LIES!" Lola shouted. She then realised she was looking at her mirror right now. She closed it and smiled sheepishly.

Lincoln then turned to Lori. "And Lori, would it kill you not to talk to Bobby all the time?!"

"I do not talk to Bobby all the time!" Lori argued.

Lincoln then turned to Lisa, who was writing something on her clipboard. "And Lisa, you always do your weird poop studies!"

"It's quite fascinating work." Lisa replied.

Lincoln folded his arms. "See? You guys couldn't last ten minutes without doing your annoying things!"

"We could last longer than you!" Lori argued.

"I bet you couldn't!" Lincoln argued back.

A devious expression appeared on Lola's face. "Oh, really? Care to make it a little more interesting?" She started pacing around the room. "If we can stop doing our things longer than you can stop doing yours, then not only do you have to admit that you clogged the toilet, you have to give up reading in your underwear...FOREVER!"

"YEAH!" The rest of the sisters cheered.

"Hold it! What's in it for me?" Lincoln asked.

Lola smiled. "If you win, we'll never complain about your butt cooties again."

Lincoln put on a smug look. "Okay. But if I beat you, not only do you have to admit that it was actually you who clogged the toilet, Lola. You also have to buy me these beauties." Lincoln picked up an underwear catalog and pointed to a circled picture of red briefs. "Pure cotton, 2,000 thread count, non-binding elastic. I'll just call them my victory undies."

Lola rolled her eyes. "Still playing the blame game huh?" She scoffed. "Whatever. Deal. It's not like you're gonna win anyway."

"Great! So, if I have to read comics with my clothes on, Lola can't look in the mirror." Lola closed her pocket mirror and put it away. "Luna can't speak in a British accent." Luna put a hand over her mouth. Lana was about to run outside to play in the mud before Lincoln mentioned her. "Lana can't play in the mud."

"Dang it." Lana slumped as she walked back into the living room.

"Lori can't talk to Bobby."

Lori put her phone away. "Bobby who?"

"Leni can't say 'like'."

Leni grinned. "Like, okay."

"Lucy can't pop up and scare people."

"Huh?" Lucy had been deep in thought about something before Lincoln distracted her. "R-Right..."

"Lisa has to give up her weird studies."

Lisa put down her clipboard. "Forgive me, science."

"Luan can't tell bad jokes." Luan frowned in response. "Lynn can't turn everything into a sport." Lynn, who had been using a broom as a hockey stick, then started sweeping instead. "And...uhh..." Lincoln looked at Lily, trying to think of a bad habit she did. Crying? Nah, Lily didn't really cry that much anyway. And it's not like Lily could help any bad habits she had anyway. "And that's it."

"Deal." The rest of the sisters agreed.

"Pants up, buddy boy!" Lola added.

Lincoln started putting his clothes back on. "Okay, competition...starts...now!"

At that moment, Rick then came in, carrying some glowing rocks. "Hey Lisa, I brought these back in case you wanted to study them." Rick then noticed Steve and put the rocks down at the coffee table before speaking. "Who the fuck are you?"

Lori gave Rick an annoyed look. "Uh, our Uncle Steve? He's been living here almost a year now, are you losing your mind?"

"Hey, someone's been spending too much time around glowing rocks am I right?" Steve joked, getting a laugh out of the Loud siblings. Rick simply glared at the man before getting out a laser gun and shooting him in the head.

Everyone else then started to scream and panic. "What the hell, Rick?!" Lori screeched.

Rick put his hands up. "Everybody just relax for a second. There's no such thing as an 'Uncle Steve'. That is an alien parasite."

Everyone then watched as Steve screeched in pain before turned into a blue and purple worm-like creature, spewing pink liquid all over the couch. "B-But we've known him our whole lives!" Lori stammered in shock.

Rick put on some rubber gloves so he could pick up the parasite. "No, you haven't Lori. These telepathic little bastards, they embed themselves in memories. They use those to multiply, spread out, and take over planets. It's disgusting."

"Uncle Steve wasn't real?" Lincoln asked, still finding it hard to believe.

Rick dropped the parasite. "He's a real piece of shit! This is a big one, someone probably tracked in last week on the bottom of their shoe or on a piece of alien fruit."

Lori noticed Rick glaring at her and glared at him back. "Someone?"

"Get off the high road, Lori. We all got pink eye because you won't stop texting on the toilet."

"I-wha-you-" Lori stuttered, flabbergasted.

"But Uncle Steve taught me how to ride a bike." Lynn then said.

"No, 'Steve' put that memory in your brain so he could live in your house, eat your food, and multiply." Rick explained as he got out his laser gun to reload it. "We could be infested with these things, so we gotta keep an eye out for any zany, wacky characters that pop up."

"Ooh wee, whatever you want Rick! We're here to help!" Rick's friend, an alien that had recently moved to Earth with his fiancé, said cheerfully as he handed Rick a magazine. The alien was a little yellow person shaped like a chorizo with big eyes and a long nose. He wore a black top hat and a blue shirt that appeared to be very tight on him, as stretch marks could be seen around his neck.

Rick took the magazine, smiling at the alien. "Thanks, Mr. Poopybutthole. I always could count on you."

...

After Rick had cleaned up the mess the parasite had left, everyone was still gathered in the living room. They had soon gotten over what happened with Steve as after a while, their memories of him started to feel more like they had only imagined it while their real memories of past events started coming back. Rick got out a sticky note and wrote the number 13 on it before sticking it to the wall. "Alright, there's thirteen of us and that's it. Me, Lily, Lisa, Lola, Lana, Lucy, Lincoln, Lynn, Luan, Luna, Leni, Mr. Poopybutthole and Lori."

Lola squinted her eyes at Lincoln. "Just so you know, the deal's still on."

"What deal?" Rick asked.

Lincoln sighed. "Lola and I made a bet on who can resist doing their bad habits longer. Me or the rest of my sisters."

Rick raised an eyebrow. "Uh, don't you think there's more important things to be worrying about right now? I mean, can't we just agree that you all have habits that are either annoying, gross or weird and try to quit them or something?"

"No!" All the Loud siblings shouted. Rick groaned in response.

"Maybe you got the first one in time Rick!" Mr. Poopybutthole suggested.

"Can't afford to chance it." Rick pressed a button on his watch causing all the doors and windows in the house to be sealed off by blast shields.

Len looked worried. "Um, are we like, locked in?"

"Leni!" Lori berated.

Leni looked at her confused. "What?"

Leni Out

"Oh...right."

"Nice going." Lucy chastised, causing everyone to jump. "AAAHHHH!"

"OOH WEE!" Mr. Poopybutthole shouted.

Lucy Out

"Dang it."

Lola looked at Leni and Lucy in annoyance before turning to her other sisters. "Come on, ladies, stay focused!" Despite her annoyance, Lola was a little glad Rick had sealed everyone in the house. It meant that Lana would be unable to play outside in the mud, whether she wanted to or not.

Mr. Poopybutthole also looked nervous. "Ooh, gosh, it feels claustrophobic! Reminds me of that time we all got stuck in the elevator together. Y-remember that? After the Hulk musical?"

...

As Rick, the Loud siblings and Mr. Poopybutthole were stuck in the elevator, Lynn, wearing Hulk gloves, kept punching the elevator buttons. "Lynn, I don't think punching the buttons will literally do anything to help us." Lori chastised.

"Sure they will. Maybe I'm just not hitting them hard enough!" Lynn argued before going back to punching the buttons.

Lori groaned. "This is why we don't all get on the elevator at the same time."

"Why couldn't I bring my portal gun?" An annoyed Rick asked.

Lincoln was dancing in place, desperately needing to go to the toilet. "Ugh, why did all the drinks have to be extra large?"

"Just pee your pants. I did it as soon as we got stuck." Lana suggested. Everyone stared at Lana in disgust. "What?"

"Oh, y'all, we're gonna be fine. I've always been here for you guys, and I always will be." Mr. Poopybutthole chuckled, trying to reassure them.

Suddenly, a panel on the elevator roof opened up. "Somebody call for repairs?"

"Yay! Cousin Nicky!" Everyone cheered as they looked up."

"It's me, Cousin Nicky. I'm walkin' here! I mean, I'm not. I'm crouched in the elevator shaft, but hey, I'm walkin' here!" Cousin Nicky laughed.

...

Everyone laughed as they looked back at that memory fondly. "It's true. We really do get into some crazy situations as a family, mostly when we're cooped up like this. Hey, maybe Mr. Poopypants is right. L-Let's get some fresh air." Cousin Nicky suggested.

"Come on, Cousin Nicky. You heard Grandpa Rick. We have to stay quarantined until we know that there's no more of these things." Lincoln explained. He then looked over at Lola, who was attempting to apply makeup to herself without a mirror.

"See? I don't even need a mirror to put my makeup on." Lola claimed.

Lincoln snickered as Lola had put her lipstick and eyeshadow on unevenly. "Are you sure about that Lola?"

"Yes. Why? Is there something wrong with my face?!"

"Well-"

Lola put her hand up to stop him. "Wait! I don't wanna know!" She folded her arms, trying not to worry about the state of her face.

Meanwhile, Luna was listening to the radio. "Hey, cats and kittens, this is Jay Rock here! I'm giving away Mick Swagger tickets to the caller with... the best British accent!"

Luna's eyes widened. Seeing as everyone's attention seemed to be elsewhere, Luna snuck off and hid behind the curtains. She got out her phone to call the radio station. "Hello, you're on the air! Let's hear your best British accent."

"Come on, love, hand over those tickets." Luna whispered.

"Yeah, sorry, caller, I can't hear you!"

"Come...on love, hand over those tickets!" Luna whispered louder.

"If you don't speak up, you can't win!"

"HAND OVER THE BLEEDING TICKETS, MATE!" Luna shouted. Lincoln then pulled back the curtain. Lincoln gave her a smug look while the other sisters looked at her in annoyance. "Oh bloody hell."

Luna Out

"Hey, if you guys are done messing around, we've got a situation here." Rick said, getting everyone's attention. He pointed towards the sticky note. "Thirteen! There's only supposed to be thirteen people here. Now there's fourteen. One of us is a parasite." Rick glared at Nicky. "Cousin Nicky."

Cousin Nicky put his hands up defensively. "Whoa, whoa, you think I'm some parasite? Come on man, I'm just visiting here."

Lori's phone then started to ring. Realising that it was Bobby, she whimpered before hanging up. She then sighed and turned to Rick. "There's no way Cousin Nicky is a parasite. I mean, he's literally the reason we found that old nazi submarine. Remember?"

...

Rick, the Loud siblings and Cousin Nicky were all tied up as a nazi stood before them. The nazi opened up a chest, taking out a staff. "Now that I possess the mighty staff of Rah-gubaba, the world will tremble before the Fourth Reich!"

Lincoln glared at Rick. "This is the last time I ask you for help on my history homework, Rick."

Cousin Nicky glared at the nazi. "Hey, we got a word for nazis back in Brooklyn, pal."

"I'm comfortable being called a nazi. You think there's some other word that will hurt my feelings?" The nazi hit Cousin Nicky on the head with his staff. "Yeah. Think before you talk shit." The nazi held up the staff. "Rah-gubaba, help me kill America!"

Suddenly, the Loud's family butler came in and knocked out the nazi with his umbrella. "Mr. Beauregard!" Everyone cheered.

"After due consideration, I have elected not to retire." Mr. Beauregard announced, causing everyone to cheer. "Now, I believe someone needs help with their homework. Set a course for the Loud House!"

...

"Perhaps I'm biased, but if that story never happened, then I wouldn't still be the family butler." Mr. Beauregard chuckled. "Dare to dream."

Luna laughed. "Yeah dude. Who knows where we'd be without Mr. Beauregard. Man, I should've asked you to help me get those tickets."

Everyone was then silent for a moment. It was true that Mr. Beauregard could've helped Luna with getting those tickets as he had a thick British accent. "Um, why didn't you ask Mr. Beauregard, Luna?" Lola asked.

Luna looked confused. "I...don't know." Luna and everyone else then glared at Mr. Beauregard.

Mr. Beauregard looked nervous. "Well...ahem...you see I-"

Mr. Beauregard was then interrupted as Rick shot him. Like the last parasite, it revealed its true form and screeched as it bled all over the floor.

"I guess I killed the butler!" Rick laughed before getting serious again. "But there's still one other parasite among us."

Leni looked confused. "Wait...if Mr. Beauregard was a parasite, then how did he help us out all those times?"

Rick's eyes widened. "No! Don't flashback!

...

Leni grunted as she tried to get her head out of the staircase railings. Lori, Luna and Lincoln watched her, trying to figure out a way to help her. "Stop dude! You're just gonna make more swelling." Luna told her.

"It's okay Leni, I-I'm gonna call the fire department." Lori reassured.

"How's fire gonna help?" Leni cried before Mr. Beauregard poured a jar of marmalade on her head, allowing her to slip out.

"Marmalade is served." Mr. Beauregard announced as everyone cheered for the butler.

Headless Harry then came by. "I guess I take back what I said about British cuisine." He laughed before his loose head fell off. "Whoa!"

...

Rick, Lori, Leni and Mr. Beauregard were having a pillow fight in Lori and Leni's room before Luna and Luan's roommate, Sleepy Ginny, came in looking slightly annoyed. "We're trying to sleep."

...

Long Beard the pirate had Edwin chained to the mast of his ship as his crew made off with Edwin's coffins. "Argh, we've got your gold now, ye' scurry vampire."

Edwin had a pleading look on his face. "For the last time, those aren't treasure chests, they're coffins."

"Ahh, a likely story! And once we're through here, you'll be going off on a little sail, into the sunrise!" Long Beard laughed.

Edwin looked worried. "But, I'm a vampire, the sun will destroy me."

Long Beard got up into Edwin's face. "That's the idea you blood-sucking scallywag!" He then stood back. "Davey, shake a peg-leg!"

"Davey's all tied up."

Long Beard paused. "Huh? Who be saying that?"

One of the pirates pointed upwards. "Up there, in the crow's nest!"

Lucy was in the crow's nest along with her pet bat, Fangs. She was wearing a black dress. "Or in this case, bat's nest. Fangs, attack!" Fangs flew towards Long Beard who defended himself with his sword. Fangs managed to knock the sword out of Long Beard's hands and push him onto a tarp. Lucy then jumped down from the crow's nest and grabbed the rope that supported the tarp, pulling him inside as she landed on the deck and tied the end of the rope. Lucy then realised the sun was rising. "Gasp. Oh no, we're running out of time." Lucy then noticed the sail. She quickly grabbed the sword and cut the rope, having the sail cover her and Edwin.

Edwin smiled in relief. "You saved me Lucinda. How can I ever repay you?"

"Well, it wasn't all me." Lucy shly admitted. "I couldn't have done it were it not for Mr. Beauregard sneaking me on the ship."

...

"Truly, I would have surely perished were it not for Lucinda's efforts." Edwin said as everyone looked back on what they thought Mr. Beauregard had done for them.

"Everybody stop remembering!" Rick suddenly shouted.

"Whoa!" Shocked by Rick's sudden shouting, Headless Harry's head fell off again.

Lynn's eyes widened as she watched Headless Harry's head bounce across the floor. She didn't see a head. All she saw was a football. Before anyone could stop her, she grabbed the head and threw it to the ground. "Touchdown! Whoo hoo!"

Lynn Out

"Ow..." Headless Harry groaned as his body got up to pick up his head.

"Lynn!" Lola shouted angrily.

Everyone then heard someone banging on the blast shields. "Babe, what's going on? Why aren't you answering my calls?!" A desperate Bobby shouted from outside.

Rick groaned. "Ugh, Lori can you just call your idiot boyfriend and tell him to go away?"

"If she does that, she's out the game." Lincoln reminded them.

Lori slumped while Rick rolled his eyes. "Alright, everyone listen to me. These parasites are like bed bugs, and every flashback is another mattress." Rick picked up the sticky note and showed it to everyone. "Look! Besides, your parents, who are out, there's only supposed to be thirteen people in this house."

"But there's always been, like, seventeen." Leni argued.

Rick shook his head. "No! Uh, the fact that I wrote this number down means that there's four parasites."

"Are you certain about that, Rick?" Edwin asked.

"You sure youse even remember why you wrote that number down?" Cousin Nicky added.

...

"All right, there's thirteen of us and that's it. Me, Lily, Lisa, Lola, Lana, Lucy, Lincoln, Lynn, Luan, Luna, Leni, Mr. Poopybutthole, Headless Harry, Sleepy Ginny, Edwin, Cousin Nicky and Lori."

Lori gave Rick an odd look. "Uh, Rick, that's like seventeen people."

Rick gave her a crazy smile. "Thirteen, seventeen, what's the difference? I just love the number thirteen for no reason! Where's my pencil at?"

"Right here, Rick! Use me!" Pecilvester shouted as the walking pencil jumped into Rick's hand.

"Oh, thanks, Pencilvester!" Rick thanked him before writing the number 13 on the sticky note."

...

Rick thought about what happened. "Yeah, I-I g-I guess that is what happened, but I-I don't get why I would do that."

An idea then came to Lynn. "Guys, why don't we just check our photos? That should give us some hard evidence."

"Good idea Lynn." Lori said as she got out her phone.

Before she could look through her photos, Lori then heard Bobby shouting again. "Babe, what's wrong? Is something happening? Did I do something wrong?"

Lori whimpered as she got even more tempted to call Bobby. "Don't do it Lori." Lola warned her.

Lori gave Lola an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Lola, I...I have to explain what's happening." Lori quickly dialed Bobby's number in order to call him. "Bobby?"

Lori Out

Lola facepalmed as Lori explained the situation to Bobby. As the situation with Lori had distracted everyone from looking at their photos, Edwin then turned to adress Leni. "You know, it's somewhat suspicious that Leni is friends with a magic ballerina lamb that we've never seen."

...

Leni was asleep in bed before the magic ballerina lamb flew into her room. "Leni!"

Leni woke up and smiled. "Tinkles! It's past my bedtime."

Tinkles giggled as she flew around Leni. "Not in never past bedtime land!" Tinkles then grabbed her hand as the two flew out the window. "Here we go!"

Tinkles brought Leni to a magical land filled with all sorts of cutesy, cartoony creatures. Tinkles brought Leni down to dance with them as Tinkles sang.

Leni and Tinkles, friends with each other

Living in never past bedtime land

No kitchen sinkles, no little brother

Going to raves and waving our hands

...

Rick had his gun aimed at Leni. "That is su-suspicious. We're always hearing about this Tinkles character, but we never get to-"

Before Rick could finish, Tinkles then flew into the living room. "Hi, everybody. I'm Tinkles, and these are my friends."

Other creatures from never past bedtime land then came into the living room, causing everyone to gush. "Awww."

Leni hugged Tinkles as she flew over to her. "See, I told you guys Tinkles was totes real."

Everyone besides Rick then started apologising to Leni. Luna then spoke. "Dudes, look. We don't need evidence to know who is and isn't family." Luna gestured to Luan, who had been in a mood ever since Lincoln and Lola's deal started as she simply sat on the couch with her arms crossed. "Luan's my sister. I've known her my whole life." Luna then gestured to Sleepy Ginny. "And Sleepy Ginny has been me and Luan's best friend for years!"

Sleepy Ginny smiled. "Thanks, Luna. Beyond that, no offense to any of you, but all bets are off."

Rick started to get frustrated. "Look, I'm not used to being this unsure for this long. I'm just gonna aim for shoulders starting with the bitchy girl." Rick aimed his gun at Lori and fired at her. She barely managed to dodge as Rick hit the TV instead.

"Aah! Rick!" Lori screamed.

Rick glared at her as he approached her. "Hold still, 'Lori'."

Cousin Nicky ran in front of Lori, trying to protect her. "Hey, hey, whaddya think you're doing? That's my cousin you're shooting at!"

Rick then aimed his gun at Cousin Nicky. "Oh, yeah? Well, what if you just think that, Cousin Nicky? I've known you for fifteen years. Don't make me hurt you."

"Rick, these are our family and friends, the people we barbecue with. You forget about the barbecue?"

Rick shook his head. "Wait, why would you want me to-You're one of them, aren't you?"

"Rick, you love those barbecues, Rick. You love them. Hai!"

"Remember it, Rick?"

Rick glared at the two. "Shut up, Hamurai! Shut up, Amish Cyborg! What is this? '90s Conan?"

"Remember the barbecue. Remember the barbecue. Remember the barbecue." Everyone chanted as Rick tried to resist having a flashback.

...

Rick, wearing a chef's hat and apron, was having a barbecue with all the closest friends of the Loud family. He smiled as he flipped a burger. "You know what, Pencilvester? It took me my whole life to realize it, but I love barbecuing."

"You're good at it, Rick." Pencilvester complimented as he held a bun.

Rick picked up another spatula. "Watch me, baby. I'm like Tom Cruise from, um, 'Cuisine' or w-whatever that movie's called where he makes drinks. Yeah, check me out. I'm like Tom Cruise from 'Cuisine'." Rick chuckled as he served a burger to Pencilvester. "Yeah. Is that what it's called? 'Cuisine'?"

"Wow! Hey, everybody. Let's give it up for the grill master, Rick! Rick! Rick! Rick!"

As everyone cheered for Rick, Rick suddenly came to a realisation. "Wait..."

...

As Rick snapped out of his flashback, he looked around the living room, which was now filled with all sorts of wacky characters. And he couldn't tell if any of them were real or not. "Noooooo!"

While most of the sisters were concerned with Rick's state of mind, Lincoln and Lola were still concerned with their deal as Lincoln glared at the four remaining sisters. Lola, Luan, Lana and Lisa. While Lisa and Luan seemed uninterested in the deal and Lana just looked sad she couldn't play out in the mud, Lola looked like she was about to crack. Meanwhile Lincoln wasn't having much of a problem at all as the situation with Rick had distracted him from reading any comics anyway. He smirked at Lola. "Had enough yet."

Lola tried to look confident. "Y-You haven't won yet! In case you forgot, it's still four against one!"

"Make that three. I'm afraid I must withdraw from this deal." Lisa then announced.

Lisa Out

Lola looked at her in shock. "What? Why?"

"Simply put, the situation with Grandpa Rick is far more crucial then this deal you've come up with to one-up our sole male sibling. Plus I resent my 'poop studies' as you have referred to it, being called an 'annoying habit'. It's a little more important than you realise."

Lola growled before turning to Lincoln. "Fine! Whatever, it's not as if you'll beat Lana anyway! How're you gonna beat her when she can't even go outside!"

Meanwhile, Rick was pointing his gun around the room, trying to figure out who was and wasn't real. Cousin Nicky approached him and put a friendly arm around him. "Alright look, I think youse should put down the gun and we should get youse to a doctor. What do youse say we take down these here blast shields, eh?"

Rick recoiled from Cousin Nicky. "Can't do that, Cousin Nicky. All right, everybody listen to me. I don't know if any of you guys are real, but this house has been infested with fake loved ones that spread through fake memories, and our planet will be destroyed if they get out."

Pencilvester jumped up onto the coffee table and pulled at Rick's lab coat. "But Rick, even you have to admit you do tend to get a little over the top sometimes."

...

Lincoln, Luan, Sleepy Ginny, Pencilvester, Ghost In A Jar and Edwin were all watching TV when Rick suddenly came in. "Guys you'll never guess what I brought home! I-I-I brought home a mud monster!" Everyone then jumped as the mud monster came in, making an unintelligible sound. "Yeah, crazy right? I just found him. I thought w-why the hell the not just take him home? So here he is! He-He's our pet now. The new Loud House family pet, here he is! The mud monster!"

...

"Okay, yes, I definitely remember doing that." Rick conceded. "But I mean, come on, look at him, he's adorable."

The mud monster blubbered something unintelligible. Meanwhile, Lana looked at him as if she had only just noticed him. "Mud..."

Lola's eyes widened. "Lana, no!" Lola wasn't fast enough to stop her as she jumped into the mud monster, giggling as she played around in the mud.

Lana Out

Lincoln gave Lola another smug look. "Guess you forgot about the mud monster huh?"

Lola looked like she was about to snap before taking a couple deep breaths and calming herself. "It's fine. It's absolutely fine. We've still got Luan. As long as she doesn't tell any bad jokes, we'll be fine."

Luan glared at Lola before getting up. "You know what, I quit too."

Luan Out

Lola gave her a shocked look. "What! B-B-But why?!"

"Well, sorry! Wouldn't want to bother anyone with my bad jokes or anything!" Luan said sarcastically before storming off upstairs.

Sleepy Ginny watched her leave with a look of concern. "I'd better go follow her." She said before going upstairs after Luan.

Luna looked at Lincoln and Lola. "Dudes, I think you hurt her feelings."

Lincoln scratched the back of his head, feeling guilty. "Yeah...I should probably try to apologise later on when I have the chance." He then turned to Lola, who had lowered her head. "After we finish this."

Lola then gave a sinister giggle. "You may have outlasted those amateurs, but now you've gotta deal with a REAL PROFESSIONAL!" She looked at Lincoln with a demented grin. At this point, her hair was completely frazzled and her make up was smeared to the point that she almost looked like an insane clown.

Nearly everyone was disturbed by Lola's behaviour. Even Rick got distracted by it. "Geez, does she always wear that much makeup? I mean that can't be good for her." Edwin shrugged in response.

Lincoln, however, was undeterred, getting up into Lola's face. "I won't give up! Especially if this is the only way to get you to admit that you clogged the toilet!"

Lola chuckled, still grinning. "Oh come now Lincoln, IT'S SO OBVIOUS THAT IT WAS YOU!"

"Lincoln didn't clog the toilet!" Lucy suddenly snapped.

"Huh?" Lola said as everyone stared at Lucy in confusion.

Lucy suddenly looked sheepish. "It was...It was me. I did it. I clogged the toilet!"

Everyone gasped from the revelation. However, another odd feeling then came over them. "Whoa, did anyone else just get deja vu?" Lori asked.

Lincoln looked weirded out. "Yeah, it's so weird. I feel like I've heard this a million times before."

"Yeah, it is pretty weird." Pencilvester agreed.

Lucy lowered her head and blushed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, everyone. I just wanted a break from the darkness. I should have told you guys sooner but...I didn't want you guys to tease me."

Lincoln gave her a sympathetic look. "Aww, Lucy, why didn't you just tell me? I probably would've just taken the blame for you."

Lucy smiled though she still looked embarrassed. "Thanks Lincoln."

Lori also gave her a sympathetic look. "Look, it's okay Lucy, we all have embarrassing secrets. And if talking about it makes you uncomfortable, then I promise we won't even mention it again."

"Besides, there's nothing wrong with reading Princess Pony!" Tinkles added.

Lucy smiled at Lori gratefully. Meanwhile, Lola just look baffled as she realised her anger towards Lincoln may have been misplaced. "But...I...she...?"

Lincoln gave her a concerned look. "Are you okay?"

Lola giggled. "I-I'm fine. I'm still gonna win this just so you know!" As Lola giggled again, Lincoln wasn't really sure what to think.

...

As this was happening, Sleepy Ginny had caught up to Luan upstairs. Luan stood outside her room, with arms folded. "Luan?"

Luan sighed and turned to face Sleepy Ginny. "Look, I know what you're gonna say. That I shouldn't let their comments bother me. It's just that...when it's your own family saying that kind of stuff to you...it just hurts, you know?" Sleepy Ginny nodded in understanding. Luan sighed again. "I still remember what they said about me that day. Though it was nice that you and Hamurai and everyone else stuck up for me and all but still..."

Sleepy Ginny delicately placed a hand on Luan's cheek. "Luan, just so you know, I don't care what anyone else says, I've always found your jokes funny."

Luan smiled and placed her hand on Sleepy Ginny's. "Thanks, Sleepy Ginny." She then sighed. "I just wish we knew who the parasites were."

Sleepy Ginny gave her a comforting smile. "Well I know that you're definitely real. I mean, do you remember our vacation?"

...

Luan, wearing a yellow one piece swimsuit, was sat at the beach watching the most beautiful sunset she had ever seen in her life. As she listened to the waves and the seagulls chirping, Sleepy Ginny came by, wearing a two-piece bikini and carrying two bottles of soda. "Beautiful sunset, isn't it."

Luan nodded. "Yeah..."

Sleepy Ginny sat down next to her and handed Luan a bottle. Luan then accidentally dropped it. Both she and Sleepy Ginny reached to pick it up which caused their hands to meet. The two looked into each other's eyes before Sleepy Ginny brought a hand to the side of Luan's head, stroking her hair. "Not as beautiful as you though."

Luan chuckled though she still blushed at the compliment. "That's so corny." Sleepy Ginny smiled before bringing her lips to Luan's, kissing her passionately.

...

Luan blushed at the memory as Sleepy Ginny put a hand on her shoulder. "I don't give a damn what else happens out there. You and I are going to survive this."

Luan nodded. "Ok." Luan's eyes then widened as Sleepy Ginny brought her lips to hers. Luan couldn't help but feel like she was experiencing her first kiss all over again. A small part of her told her this was wrong but how could it be? Sleepy Ginny had been Luan's closest friend for years. She had always supported her and she always had her back. She'd never say terrible things about her behind her back. Which was why there was no one else she'd rather be with right now as she blissfully closed her eyes and pushed herself further into the kiss, forgetting about everything else that was happening now.

...

While she lost a bit of resolve after Lucy's confession, Lola still seemed determined to win. Though whatever anger Lincoln had towards Lola had gone as he watched his little sister rock back and forth. He couldn't help but be concerned for the state of his sister as she looked like she was close to hyperventilating. He knew how much Lola prided herself on her appearance and he was pretty certain Lola was aware of what she looked like right now. Not wanting to let Lola stress herself out any further, he spoke. "Look, maybe we should just put an end to this and forget about the deal, huh?"

"No!" Lola snapped, a frantic look in her eyes. "Lola Loud doesn't lose! Do you know what the other girls at the pageant would say about me if they found out I had a brother that read comics in his underwear?! I'd be a laughingstock!"

Lincoln raised an eyebrow. "But...you don't do pageants any more."

"Oh...right..." Lola almost whispered as she gave Lincoln a blank stare.

Lincoln sighed as he knew what he had to do. "All right Lola, you win. I give up."

Lincoln Out

Lola Wins

Lola looked at him in confusion. "Huh?"

"If me reading comics in my underwear bothers you that much, then I'll stop. I just don't want you to stress yourself out over it any more." Lola stared at her brother for a moment before she suddenly sobbed. "Lola?"

"I'm sorry!" Lola said as she suddenly ran upstairs.

"Lola!" Lincoln shouted as he followed after her.

Rick sighed in relief. "Finally! I thought that would never end."

Suddenly, Edwin grabbed Rick's arms. "That is an interesting watch you have, Rick. Would you mind if I could see it?"

"Uh, no thank-ugh!" Edwin pulled Rick's arms to him and tapped at his watch. "Ok. Trying to figure out how to lower the blast shields, huh?" Rick pulled his arm away. "Anybody here think it's suspicious that a lot of people in here can't wait to get out of here?"

Edwin waved his hand dismissively. "Alas, you are filled with paranoia, Rick. You have been paranoid since 'nam."

...

Rick and Edwin, decked out in army gear, knelt down in the Viatnamese forest, looking out for enemy soldiers. "So, what are you gonna do when you rotate back to the world, Edwin?" Rick asked.

Edwin glared forward. "Shi-i-i-i-t. I'mma bust a-"

...

Rick shook his head. "Ugh, NO! Get out of my head, parasite!" Edwin then grabbed the gun as he and Rick struggled to take it from the other one. "No! Drop it. Give me the gun, Edwin. Give it back!" Rick was unsuccessful as Edwin suddenly punched Rick and took the gun from him. As everyone cheered for Edwin, Robot Man and Sunshine Dude grabbed Rick and brought him to the chair, holding him in place. Rick breathed heavily. "Is anyone here even real? Am I the only real person on earth?!"

"Maybe." Reverse Giraffe spoke as he stepped forward, getting everyone's attention. "Or maybe, just maybe, we're all real. You know me. I'm Reverse Giraffe. I have a short neck and legs. I went to college with Hamurai."

"Hai." Hamurai nodded.

"I saved Ghost In A Jar's life in Vietnam."

"Boo rah!" Ghost In A Jar cheered.

"And Leni, how many times have I been a shoulder for you to cry on?"

Leni sighed. "Too many."

"Okay, so maybe we're just all fake." Everyone started jeering. "Or maybe, there's only one deceiver here." Reverse Giraffe crossed his arms and glared at Rick. "The person that keeps telling us the path to salvation is being held prisoner and mistrusting each other."

Rick glared back. "Hey, don't blame me! I tried to shoot Lori ten minutes ago!"

Reverse Giraffe continued. "I know we all have beloved memories of Rick, but are we really supposed to believe that a mad scientist inventor with a flying car just showed up on our doorstep after being gone for years?"

Lori gave Rick a suspicious look. "Yeah, that is pretty weird. And don't forget his incredibly vague back story."

"Lori, I'm your grandfather!" Rick snapped.

"Oh really? Is that why you tried to shoot me earlier? Well if you want to prove you're real, do what any of the rest of us would do, open the blast shields and let us out of here!"

Rick glared at her. "Why don't you make me you average, phone addicted, whiny teenager."

Lori squinted her eyes at Rick. "Give me the gun." Edwin handed Lori the gun, who pointed it at Rick. "I'm not doing this in front of my younger siblings. Bring him to the garage." Everyone cheered as Muscle Duck and Baby Wizard grabbed Rick and dragged him to the garage with Lori following after them.

...

As this happened, Lincoln had ran upstairs, not taking notice of Luan and Sleepy Ginny as he went into Lana and Lola's room to find Lola crying on her bed. She had yet to clean herself up. "Lola, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry." Lola sobbed. "I said I wouldn't get mad any more. But I couldn't help myself! I did it again. Over nothing!"

Lincoln sat down beside her. "Lola, it's okay, everyone gets mad every once in a while."

Lola sniffled. "Lincoln...do you think I'm a meanie?"

Lincoln sighed. "Lola, I think you're six. So what if you throw a tantrum every now and then? A lot of six year olds do."

Lola looked downwards. "Lana doesn't though. She's way nicer than me, isn't she?"

"Lana has her own problems. I'll tell you one thing, you're way cleaner than she is."

"Hm." Lola gave a small smile before looking down again. "Well, she's still more talented than me. I'm just a useless meanie."

"Useless? Where'd you get that idea?"

"Because pageants were all I knew how how to do. Now that I can't do them, I'm just useless."

Lincoln raised an eyebrow. "But don't you need to be talented to do a pageant? I mean, whenever you did any kind of dancing for the talent portion, you always rocked it."

"Dancing, huh?" Lola said as she thought about it. She did always enjoy dancing in her pageants. Maybe she should focus more on that now.

Lincoln sighed. "Besides, you're more talented than me anyway. All I do is read comics and play videogames."

Lola hummed in thought. "Well, why not just do something based on those then?"

Lincoln thought for a moment. He did always do well in art class. Maybe he should start drawing or something. "Not a bad idea, Lola. Also, like I said, you're really not as bad as you think you are. I don't think of you any differently from the rest of my sisters. None of us are perfect, but I love you all the same."

Lola smiled as she started to cheer up. "Thanks, but...that doesn't mean I shouldn't try to be better, right?"

Lincoln chuckled. "Everyone should try to improve, really. I mean, I probably shouldn't have tried to poke fun at you down there. Sorry, I was being a jerk, wasn't I?"

Lola giggled. "Yeah, you were kind of a jerk." The two then went to hug each other.

...

Muscle Duck and Baby Wizard held onto Rick, making him kneel onto the floor as Lori aimed the gun at him. "Listen to me, Rick, if you want to prove to everyone that you're real, then just open the blast shield doors and let us out."

Rick glared at her. "Shut up, Lori, you brainwashed bitch that might not even be real because I'm brainwashed, too."

Lori growled in anger. "Why do you always have to make things difficult for us?!"

"Oh, oh, really Lori? I make thing difficult for you huh? Then by all means, why don't you just do both of us a favour and pull the trigger?" Rick put his head up to the gun as Lori started sweating nervously. "Just do it! I know you want to! You've had it out for me since day one. You've just been waiting for an opportunity like this, haven't you? I've got about a thousand memories of your dumb ass and about six of them are pleasant. The rest is you either bitching at me or bitching about me. So do it! Do it, motherfucker! Pull the fucking trigger!"

Lori then came to a sudden realisation as she moved the gun away from Rick and shot at Baby Wizard who screeched as he revealed his true, parasitic form. Rick stood up away from the parasite while Muscle Duck looked more nervous then concerned or surprised. "Oh, wow. Baby Wizard was a parasite? He set me up with my wife."

Lori shot at Muscle Duck who did the same as Baby Wizard. Rick looked at Lori in confusion. "What the hell?"

"I figured it out, Rick!" Lori explained. "The parasites can only create happy memories. I know you're real because I literally have a ton of bad memories with you!"

Rick grinned. "Holy crap, Lori, you're right."

"That was what you were trying to make me understand by yelling at me right?"

"...Well, yeah, duh-doy. T-Took you long enough." Rick turned a dial on his washing machine. The wall behind it drew back, revealing a set of guns. Lori blinked in surprise as Rick put an arm around her. "Now, let's go, Lori. We got a lot of friends and family to exterminate."

...

Lori and Rick burst into the living room, both carrying a load of guns on them, shooting at one of the parasites which caused everyone to panic. Rick then shot upwards to get everyone's attention. "Everybody, remain calm! This is gonna take a bit of explaining." Lori said.

Rick pointed his gun towards the people in the room. "We need to kill everyone that we can only remember fondly. Who's got a bad memory about Mrs. Refrigerator?"

Mrs. Refrigerator looked nervous. "I-I-I-I-everyone has bad memories of me. You remember that one time?"

...

Everyone screamed in joy as they rode a roller coaster with Mrs. Refrigerator.

...

"Ooh, man, we couldn't stop screaming." Mrs. Refrigerator laughed nervously.

Lynn gave her a pointed look. "Uh, roller coasters aren't bad, Mrs. Refrigerator. They're fun. In fact, I don't remember you doing anything bad."

Mrs. Refrigerator started to panic. "The jig is up! Get me out of here. Get me out of here! Aah!" Mrs. Refrigerator attempted to escape through the window but to no avail as Rick shot her.

"Everybody back! If you're not a parasite, you have nothing to fear." Rick explained.

"Poo poo?" Rick turned around and immediately aimed his gun at Lily. Thinking about it, Lily wasn't that much different than the average baby. Her crying was just as annoying though she stunk way worse than most babies whenever she did her business. Rick picked her up. "Don't worry Lily, I got you."

Meanwhile, Lori pointed her gun at Leni, who had a frightened expression on her face. "L-Lori?" As sweet as Leni was, Lori remembered the arguments she got with her over her wearing her dresses. Plus she remembered some of Leni's more thoughtless moments.

Lori lowered her gun and smiled. "It's okay, Leni."

Rick then came over and handed Lily to Leni. "Here, take Lily and go hide in the garage. I don't think either of you want to see this." Leni nodded and quickly headed to the garage as Lori then took aim at Lucy who looked nervous. All the times Lucy jump scared her were a good indication that she was real as she handed Lucy a gun.

"Thanks." Lucy said before turning around and aiming her gun at Edwin, realising she never had any bad memories of him. "Sigh. I knew it was too good to be true." She said before shooting him.

Everyone started panicking again as Rick, Lori and Lucy shot at the parasites. As Lori aimed her gun at a frightened Lynn, she quickly remembered how her over competitiveness and need to turn everything into a sport could drive her up the wall. "Here you go, Lynn."

Lynn grinned. "Sweet!" She started shooting at the parasites. "Two points! Two points!"

Rick passed by Lisa, quickly giving her a gun, seemingly not putting much thought into it. Lisa shrugged and joined in at shooting at the parasites as Rick cornered Pencilvester. "Come on, man. Haven't we ever had an uncomfortable silence or an awkward fart on a road trip? Come on, Pencilvester. Give me anything."

Pencilvester had a pleading look on his face. "Rick, I'm Pencilvester. Listen to that name. You can't kill me."

"You're right." Rick turned away with tears in his eyes. "Kill Pencilvester."

Lynn gleefully shot at Pencilvester. "Two points!"

After watching Lori kill the mud monster, Lana looked at her older sister nervously. Remembering the times Lana made a mess of the house, or even worse, her room, Lori realised she was definitely real as she handed Lana a gun. "Here. Just this once, you're allowed to make a mess." Lana smiled as she joined in on the shooting.

Cousin Nicky crawled across the floor, trying to avoid getting shot before coming across Rick's feet. "R-Rick?" He looked up to see Rick glaring at him. "Hey come on...I'm walking here."

"No you ain't." Rick said before shooting him.

Luna smiled nervously as Lori aimed her gun at her. "C-Come on Lori, you know I'm real right?"

Lori thought back to the times Luna's excessively loud music had made her mess up her makeup or disturb her phone calls before handing Luna a gun. "Yeah, I know."

Luna breathed a sigh of relief. She then frowned as she realised something. "Dude, what about the guys upstairs?"

Lori frowned as she remembered that Lincoln, Lola, Luan and Sleepy Ginny were upstairs. "God, I hope they're real."

She and Luna then headed upstairs. Luna then froze as she noticed Luan. Her eyes widened in shock as she saw Luan and Sleepy Ginny passionately making out. Luan opened her eyes and quickly pushed Sleepy Ginny off of her as she saw Luna aim a gun at her. "Luna!"

Luna thought about Luan first. Well, if April Fools day was any indication, Luan was definitely real. Relieved with that knowledge, she then thought about Sleepy Ginny. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Now matter how hard she tried, how desperately she wanted to find just any kind of bad memory with Sleepy Ginny, absolutely nothing came to mind. Luna sighed. "Sorry to do this to you, Luan." She shot at Sleepy Ginny.

Luan's mouth gaped in shock as she watched Sleepy Ginny reveal her parasitic nature before dying. Luna tentatively approached her. "Luan? Are you okay?"

Luan sobbed. "No!"

Luna went over to give Luan a hug, allowing her sister to cry into her shoulder. "Don't worry Luan. Everything's gonna be alright."

Meanwhile, Lori had bursted into Lana and Lola's room only to be met with the most adorable sight. Lola had gotten herself cleaned up and was now sat on the floor smiling as Lincoln combed her hair. "Awww."

Lincoln and Lola then jumped as they saw Lori had a gun pointed at them. "Lori! W-What are you doing?" Lincoln asked nervously.

Remembering what she was doing, she first thought about Lola. Her bratty moments and her temper tantrums easily gave away that she was real. She then thought about Lincoln, remembering his tendency to read comics in his underwear as well as some of his more poorly thought out plans that led to disaster. She lowered her gun and smiled. "It's okay, guys. I figured out how to tell who's real or not."

"Really? How?" Lincoln asked.

"And that's all of them!" Lori heard Rick call out from downstairs.

Lori shrugged. "Eh, doesn't really matter now."

...

After Rick had let down the blast shields, everyone, besides Lola who was upstairs doing something, had gathered into the dining room as Rick had made dinner for everyone. "From now on, let's all be careful to wash our hands when we get back from outer space. That goes for everyone."

Lori looked around as most of the house was covered with dead parasites and parasite blood. "So, how are you gonna explain this mess to Mom and Dad?"

Rick shrugged. "Meh. I'm sure they'll conveniently be out long enough for us to clean this up."

Luna gave Luan a look of concern. "You doing okay there, sis?"

Luan looked up from her food. "Hm? Yeah, I'm okay. Don't worry, I'm over it now." This was true as like with Uncle Steve and everyone else, Luan's memories of Sleepy Ginny started to feel less like memories and more like she had only imagined them. Though, she couldn't help but feel disgusted that her first kiss had been taken by an alien parasite. On the other hand...

Everyone then blinked in surprise as Lola came down and sat at the table next to Lincoln. For some reason, Lola had changed out of her usual gown and was now wearing a pink shirt under an unzipped, pink zip-up hoodie along with a pink skirt. Though she still wore her tiara. "Lola, what were you doing up there?" Lori asked.

Lola smiled. "Oh, not much. I just finished ordering a new pair of underwear for Lincoln."

Lincoln looked at her in surprise. "Really? But I lost the bet."

Lola waved her hand dismissively. "Eh, you probably would've won if you hadn't quit. Also forget about the reading comics in your underwear thing. I don't really care that much."

Lynn looked miffed at that. "Hey, come on, he still lost fair and square."

Lola gave everyone a pleading look. "Come on, you guys, we clearly can't give up our things. Why should Lincoln have to give up his? We should all accept each other's habits...even if some of them are really, really gross."

Everyone conceded in agreement though Lynn still looked slightly miffed. Lola was then caught off guard as Lincoln went to give her a hug. "Thank you!"

At that moment, Mr. Poopybutthole had come back down and sat at the table after going to the bathroom. "Ooh, whee! This little poopypants is hungry. Will somebody pass me a pork chop?"

As Rick passed a pork chop to Mr. Poopybutthole, Lori raised an eyebrow at the small alien. Now that she thought about it, she couldn't exactly recall any bad memories involving him either.

"H-Hey Luna, can ask you something?" Luan nervously asked.

"Sure. What's up sis?"

Luan looked sheepish, seeming a little embarrassed to ask this. "How did...how did you realise you were bi?"

Both of them, along with everyone else, were then distracted by the sound of Rick's laser gun going off. They looked in shock to see Lori had shot Mr. Poopybutthole. He screamed as he was sent flying towards the wall, leaving a bloody mess on it. Everyone stood up, frightened for Mr. Poopybutthole's well being. "What the hell did you just do, Lori?!" Rick shouted at her.

Lori stared at Mr. Poopybutthole in shocked confusion. "Wait, but I-"

Luna quickly got out her phone. "Hello, we need an ambulance quick! A friend of ours accidentally got shot!"

"Why?" Mr. Poopybutthole groaned from the floor.

A teary eyed Leni approached him, panicking. "Oh no, oh no, oh no, Mr. Poopybutthole!"

"I-I-I thought-" Lori stuttered as the reality of what she had done started to sink in.

Lisa approached Mr. Poopybutthole with a serious look on her face. "Listen to me, just keep breathing."

"Oh, God. What's happening?" Mr. Poopybutthole groaned.

"Look at me!" Lisa ordered. "Whatever you do, do not fall asleep."

Mr. Poopybutthole looked at Lisa. "Is-is this what bleeding to death is? Oh, whee. Is this how I die?"

"Oh, geez! Oh my God!" Rick cried out.

Not knowing what to do and filled with too much guilt and shame, Lori ran out the dining room, upstairs and into the bathroom, unable to do much besides cry.