Rizz Taoist Master [A Reverend Insanity Fanfiction]

"The Liquor worm as a vital Gu? That's a solid S-tier, but compared to the Spring Autumn Cicada? It's straight-up dirt, fam! My vital Gu in this run is the Spring Autumn Cicada, LOL, LMAO, ROFL." 

The dopamine rush didn't send him into orbit. He quickly grounded himself, doing a mental patch update:

"The Spring Autumn Cicada's ult is respawning. But it's on low HP right now, using it would straight-up delete it. But I can still flex its aura, no damage to the asset."

"Hehehe." He finished the mental checklist, closed the tabs, and opened his eyes. The Liquor worm was hovering, shaking like a chihuahua in a blizzard, trapped in his green copper vaporwave.

Earlier, it went full send, trying to clutch a W. But its willpower got ratioed by the Spring Autumn Cicada's aura, like a noob getting one-shot. It was nerfed to oblivion, its willpower barely registering on the radar.

"Spring Autumn Cicada, activate." With a brain fart, Fang Yuan released a sliver of the cicada's aura, like a limited-time buff. The Liquor worm froze, like it just lagged out. Its scattered willpower, sensing the aura, went full panic mode, like a mouse seeing a jumpscare.

Compared to the Spring Autumn Cicada's Level 6 Aura, a Level 1 Gu could do nothing to resist the rizzment.

Fang Yuan chuckled, and seized the moment, going for that speedrun. When he first tried to craft it, the Liquor worm was throwing hands, resisting like a VPN trying to protect its users data. Now, his green copper essence was flowing in smooth, like a high-speed download. No buffering, no lag.

The green copper drip spread across the Liquor worm's skin, like a viral TikTok transition. In a few blinks, the once pearl-white worm was fully green-screened.

The final boss was defeated; the last bits of the Liquor worm's willpower got deleted by Fang Yuan's will, like a bad tweet.

The Liquor worm was fully crafted, no glitches!

Compared to the initial grind, this was a speedrun, like using a cheat code.

A deep, wholesome connection linked Fang Yuan and the Liquor worm, like a perfect Discord mod-user relationship. It was an extension of him, responding to his every command.

Fang Yuan pulled back his essence, and the Liquor worm reverted to its default skin. It did a parkour jump into his aperture, did a fly-by around the Spring Autumn Cicada, and dove into the primeval sea. It was chilling, stretching and twisting, like it was in a hot tub stream.

"With the Spring Autumn Cicada, my roadmap just got a major update." Fang Yuan refocused, then pulled out the Moonlight Gu, like it was a rare skin. He repeated the process, dropping a hint of the cicada's aura, like a surprise collab.

The Moonlight Gu's willpower instantly surrendered before the Level 6 aura, went full panic mode, hiding in the corner like a scared meme cat.

Fang Yuan's essence poured in, like a high-speed download. In a blink, the Moonlight Gu got a jade green recolor. With a thought, its willpower got yeeted.

He pulled back his essence, and the Moonlight Gu reverted to its blue crystal form, like a limited-edition merch drop. He stashed it, but it didn't go into his inventory, it went straight to his forehead, forming a pale blue crescent mark, like a smiley sticker.

The whole Moonlight Gu rizzment sesh? Five minutes, tops. That's a speedrun WR compared to his previous grind, like night and day, no cap.

Not only was it a quickie, but the primeval essence drain was practically non-existent.

Past few days? Six stones down the drain just for the Liquor worm. Tonight? He was scraping the bottom of the primeval sea, but didn't even need a single stone refill.

"LOL, with the Spring Autumn Cicada, it's like having a god-tier mod menu! From now on, any Rank 1 Gu is getting insta-rizzed with its aura. Even with my C-tier stats, I don't need to farm stones. The difference is like going from dial-up to fiber optic."

Fang Yuan was buzzing, like he just hit a jackpot. His situation went from "dumpster fire" to "main character arc" in seconds.

Even though the Spring Autumn Cicada was on life support, it was still a legendary drop. Even a nerfed beast still throws hands. With just its aura, Fang Yuan's leveling speed was about to get a major buff.

Moonlight was hitting different, stars were lowkey vibing. The moon was shining on Fang Yuan's face, giving off that "protagonist glow."

"Thought I was gonna miss out on the top spot, but the plot just thickened. Time's ticking! I'm hitting up the academy, claiming that top prize, no hesitation!" Fang Yuan's eyes were glistening, like he just saw a rare loot drop.

With a mental flick, the Spring Autumn Cicada went offline, back to sleep mode. He summoned the Liquor worm, stashed it under his bed, like hiding a rare drop from the mods.

Fifteen minutes later, at the clan academy HQ.

The academy alpha, yanked from his sleep by knocking, was throwing major "I'm not amused" vibes. "Who's pulling up at this ungodly hour?"

A respectful voice piped up, "Reporting for duty, sir! A student just finished the Moonlight Gu rizzment. You told us to ping you the second someone clutched it, no matter the timezone."

"Oh, right, that thing." The elder frowned, hopping out of bed, like he was speedrunning his morning routine. "Who's the first to clear the rizzment this year? Gooner Yue Fang Zheng, right?"

"Seems like it, sir. I rushed over to drop the news. Someone from the Fang fam, apparently."

"Hehe, called it." The elder chuckled, giving off major "I'm the main character" energy. "Who else could it be but the A-tier prodigy? Those B-tier grinders are just NPCs compared to him, even with pay-to-win stones. That's why stats matter, fam."

As he dropped that truth bomb, he slid the door open, giving off major "reveal trailer" vibes. His subordinate bowed, taking a few steps back, like he was buffering. "You're spitting facts, sir," he echoed, giving off that "agree to agree" energy.

Inside the hall, a bunch of candles were lit, throwing a warm glow, like a cozy stream setup. The dude who'd met Fang Yuan was now looking like he'd just seen a jumpscare. Under the candle glow, he had a shocked Pikachu face going on. "Wait, hold up, rewind! You said Gonner Yue Fang Yuan, not Gooner Yue Fang Zheng? Are you trolling me right now?"