Rose Blumen ~

(Nightmare)

Things go well and threats are minimal. It allows me to continue on ambitious studies.

It's nice being able to focus on more than survival.

Saps are rich in interests, but animal bloods richer. So many cells, proteins, shifts to carry energy, chemistry and information as such. Some architectures are lovely.

A droplet of blood gives more information about the wider thing it's supposed to be a part of, while carrying enormous amounts of data in itself.

I have libraries to read and not enough tools, or even eyes and awareness to make the most of them.

In thrills and growing excitement, I spend enormous efforts and resources growing these aptitudes, more than anything else outward.

I detect echoes from outside.

I hear voices, coursing through the ground and skies.

I don't reply to any of them. They're not really reaching out anyway.

I keep that awareness and minimal lookout, but with cold interest.

What I really take passion to, is now exploring what could be with a drop of these fluids in my mortars and kilns.

How much I can read, how much I can extract, and how much I can repeat.

I extract strings from cells, long polymeric threads of genes and chromatic dreams.

They stretch like rubber, they contract into molten particles. With the right friends and motions, with the right tools, they can be mechanically duplicated.

I'm fascinated by all there is to see in a cell, and all that can be done with these vibrating molecules in solutions. I see how they stretch elastically, how they contract, what they can do.

I explore with glee what I can do.

My abilities grow inside my sheltered domain peacefully. The occasional but rare human to drop by, now they give me more blood to study.

More blood to recopy materials, building blocks of cellular bodies, and grasps of organised bodies.

I extract the fundamental bricks and data. I learn to refine this oil into every possible compounds I might need onward.

I stretch these elements in every direction, test them in temperature, acidity and solvents of varied chemistries.

It's a lot of fun to play with lipids flowing through water, assembling into micelles and sheets mechanically.

The elasticity of molecules and molecules arrays are fascinating sides of what can be done with reality.

I create new molecular structures and shapes, just to see how long they hold. Everything in chemistry is about increasing or decreasing mechanical elasticity. Everything eventually flows to lower levels of stretching, and we can play infinitely with that. I'm very eager to play at higher levels of structured chemistry and biology. But there is already plenty to learn from at the levels that natural light barely interacts with.

It's just the right array of levels actually. Molecular assemblies related to biochemistry vary between levels of stretching which sunlight cannot rapidly affect, and others that do. Reactions taking advantage of this reliable supply of radiative energy to work on reactions otherwise unachievable with ambient heat only.

I look into the levels of energy related to movements of molecules and their bonds, if not ionic levels entirely.

I study all the complexity of molecular resonance arrays to hold and release energy. It's fascinating sights once you're able to look at them. And there's already infinite worlds to reach and study in every drop I can find. Why would I bother yelling outside with the other monkeys. Some of them are loud.

In a corner of my awareness, another bubble of hatred from a hostile human is again staining me. It itches. It annoys me. I'm sick hearing them, always the same.

I deal with them like before, only sharper and more efficiently now. I bleed him, and throw out his exhausted shell outside. I'll keep the bare minimum of curious sight to what comes of it afterward, but just cannot stand hearing them again.

While I gazed outside, I noticed how that thing moved in the much more distant lands.

I noticed the patterns of life following it like chemistry.

I noticed how this wide oxidizing catalyst at a wider scale attracted elements toward it naturally, like any charged potential.

And I saw how all these little echoes of viable lights taken in its orbit eventually disappeared.

An interesting but dreadful sight, outside the realm of light. I keep my notes and observations in memory. I have a reasonable awareness or caution for what happens outside of my controlled domain.

This pattern of funnelled collisions and extinction orbiting around that drifting hole was the most continuous one I observed over the time since I came to be.

Other things explode regularly around the planet, and I can feel or detect their dim repercussions. It's in the background noise. Things fall from the sky and crash loudly occasionally.

I notice some of these loud shining stars sometimes. Dead leaves and dry skin from something older and bigger keep falling. It would be interesting to study, if I didn't already have so much to work with inside.

I like how biology is a grander scale of networks for chemical reactions aiming at keeping a continuity, managing it even. I love the complexity of these systems that optimise how to keep a reliable and steady environment for bigger and smaller concepts, for longer periods of time.

Optimisation, compromises, challenges. Finding the balance between numerous parameters that are all unstable and quantitative on their own. Making the overall environment sustainable without asymptotic collapse one of either and any possible way.

The concept of homeostasis hides a multidimensional cobweb of complexity in physics even below chemistry. How wonderful!

And looking at the warm blooded animals that live on around me, I keep asking myself how and why.

How do they function overall and in every detail. Why are they settled as a species to these specific definitions and parameters. How did the wider environments design them. Why did they found better or easier balance here especially? How can I use this knowledge and tools to create other things? Where are the limits to what I could achieve with these tooling?

I want to know. I want to try. I want to make.

I want to assemble enough proteins, lipids, amino acids, phosphates and polymers to build bigger things. I want to try everything and experiment what works best.

I want to see how far I can stretch these bigger things, how they grow from single cell to bigger organisms, I want to see how I can stretch these processes of growth as much as the dimensional scales of things themselves.

My growing passion devours my focus with some senses of obsession and satisfaction. Who cares what the apes are doing, killing themselves out there. There is so much left to play with here.

Sunrise over the bay warms up some of my vestigial laboratories.

I warm up veins, refine my essential oils, and continue drawing what life might be.

~