Sweet Shot

#1

Song Ha-min was born as a big baby.

Usually, babies born big tend to slim down as they grow, but Ha-min was different. His mother owned the neighborhood grocery store, so he always had snacks in his hands. He had an appetite twice that of other children his age. As a result, he naturally gained weight, and from elementary school, his nickname was Fat Ha-min. Or Fat Min. Or just Fatty. His mother called Ha-min adorably chubby, but others all called him fatty.

“Who is this? Song Ha-min?? Is that really Song Ha-min??”

But now it was different. He wasn’t the Song Ha-min from back then. Ha-min, who had been bullied because of his fat body, disappeared right after graduating high school due to the shock.

Being the son of a grocery store owner, he was always surrounded by children. Just being with him meant snacks would appear. But high school was different. The so-called cool kids would pass by saying he smelled like lard, and they would throw trash at his desk to tease him. Even when he brought snacks to share, they would bully him, saying he ate too much. Despite his easygoing personality, the three years of constant bullying inevitably changed Ha-min.

He got into college but immediately took a leave of absence and enlisted in the army. He had tried dieting during vacations, but it was no use. His mother’s grocery store was largely to blame. Hearing that people lose weight in the army, he applied for enlistment right away. After grueling training, he lost 10 kilos, and with regular lifestyle and exercise, he lost another 10 kilos. Gradually, as he changed his eating and exercise habits, his body started to return to its original state.

“I can hardly recognize you??”

It was his childhood friend whom he met after losing over 20 kilos. This friend had always been with Ha-min since elementary school. The kind of friend he hung out with every day in the neighborhood. Although they hadn’t seen each other often since graduating elementary school due to moving away, they kept in touch frequently. He was Ha-min’s closest friend.

“Hey, where did our chubby boy go?”

Tae-in touched Ha-min’s face and stomach with a somewhat disapproving look. Ha-min shyly avoided his touch.

“Ah, stop it…”

Ha-min had finally escaped being a pig, but Tae-in looked displeased.

“So you ignored all my messages and went to the army to lose weight?”

“That’s how it turned out…”

The time Ha-min spent dieting and in military service was a unique period for him.

He was known as a gentle soul in the neighborhood, famous for his easygoing personality that didn’t cry even when he fell as a baby, but the three years of high school were hell. He was separated from all his close friends, and especially from Tae-in, his best friend who lived far away. He quietly enlisted, cutting off contact with everyone. Although it wasn’t easy to adapt to the strict hierarchy, it was at least better than those three years of high school.

“Even so, how could you disappear without a word? I even went to your mom, but she wouldn’t tell me anything!”

“I told everyone not to say anything.”

“But why? If I had known you were in the army, I would have packed a bunch of stuff and visited you.”

“I just… wanted some time alone. I’m sorry for not contacting you. Let me treat you to a meal. Two meals.”

Poor guy… Tae-in looked at Ha-min with a pitying expression as he awkwardly fumbled for words. Considering how he had disappeared and even completed his military service, it was clear how much he had isolated himself.

“So you’re entering as a freshman now?”

“Yeah. I’m a bit nervous…”

Tae-in stopped his reproachful words and changed the subject.

Ha-min viewed college life as a turning point and had even completed his military service first. It was natural to be nervous. And it had been so long since he had been in school with other people.

“Oh, right. My brother is also attending our school, in his last semester now.”

“What…?”

At Tae-in’s casual remark, Ha-min almost dropped the canned coffee he was holding. Tae-in’s brother. Lee Tae-rim. He was five years older than Ha-min and Tae-in. The brother he had seen several times when living in the same neighborhood as Tae-in. The one he used to follow around calling “hyung, hyung” when he was little…

“Wasn’t your brother in America?”

“Ah, he came back a few months ago. As soon as he arrived, he was looking for you first, you know?”

“Huh?”

Lee Tae-rim and Lee Tae-in.

These two were famous in the neighborhood. Because they lived in the biggest house in the area. It had a large garden and was a two-story house. But that wasn’t all. Thanks to their handsome faces, they were practically celebrities in the neighborhood. Especially the older brother, Lee Tae-rim. He was also famous for being smart, called a prodigy, and Ha-min had heard that he went to study in America when he was in high school. Ha-min cried all night when he heard that news. Because Tae-rim, that brother, was his favorite hyung. And a little later, he realized that the brother he admired was his first love.

‘Ha-min doesn’t cry even when he gets hurt?’

When they were young, five years was a big difference. When I was in lower elementary school, hyung was in middle school, and when I was in upper elementary, hyung was in high school. In elementary school, all the older boys in school uniforms looked grown-up. In reality, hyung was incredibly tall.

He always played with Tae-in in their garden. As boys often do, they would fall while running around or climbing trees, but every time, hyung would come over and treat his wounds. In fact, since he was young, because his parents were busy, he tried not to show when he was sick and didn’t cry when he fell. He didn’t want to worry his mom and dad.

‘Tae-in cries loudly even if he just cuts his finger.’

Hyung’s smile was like a spring garden. A smile like sunshine falling on a garden where thousands of flowers were blooming fresh and green. How lost he would get in that smile when he was young. Ha-min chuckled quietly at the old memories.

“As soon as he arrived, he kept asking about our Ha-min, our Ha-min. As if you were his real younger brother?”

“Ah… really?”

Since he practically lived at Tae-in’s house when they were young, he had a lot of contact with Tae-rim. They often bumped into each other coming and going, and Ha-min would always greet Tae-rim politely. Then Tae-rim would smile and pat Ha-min’s head as if he was cute. Sometimes, Ha-min would linger around Tae-in’s house just to see hyung.

“Well, hyung did love you a lot.”

“Me?”

Ha-min’s face went blank at this unfamiliar information. Was that so? Thinking about it, it seemed just normal. Just like treating a younger brother’s friend, nothing more.

“Don’t you remember? Our hyung adored you so much.”

Did he?

“My brother never greeted anyone with that annoyingly sweet smile except for you.”

He always received greetings well.

“Plus, he was always asking me, ‘When is Ha-min coming? When is Ha-min coming?’ It was so annoying back then.”

Tae-in scrunched up his face as if he didn’t want to think about it.

“Anyway, let’s meet with hyung next time. He’ll be sooooo surprised when he sees you.”

Tae-in laughed, making bold claims. Ha-min couldn’t laugh and just gulped down his canned coffee. His throat felt parched.

**

For a man’s first love to be another man was a bit difficult.

He couldn’t seek advice from anyone, couldn’t reveal his feelings, and wasn’t supposed to show any signs. That was exactly Ha-min’s situation. The only fortunate thing was that by the time he realized it was his first love, hyung had already gone to study in America, so there was no chance of being found out. But it was still just as hard. He had once secretly stolen hyung’s high school entrance photo from Tae-in. He cried every night looking at it. He even wrote letters to hyung who had gone abroad, while sobbing. Of course, he never sent them. How horrible would it be if another man, and a fat one at that, confessed his love? He just wrote dozens of letters and kept them.

“Are you Song Ha-min oppa?”

Lost in useless thoughts, he hadn’t noticed that the class had already ended. As soon as the first orientation class finished, a girl with short hair approached Ha-min.

“I’m Ha Eun-soo, the class representative. We’re just missing your contact information. You’re returning from a leave of absence, right?”

There was no way she could have known. Ha-min hadn’t attended the department orientation or the freshman briefing. Ha-min nodded his head emphatically.

“Yes. Should I give you my number?”

“Yes. I’m going to make two group chats. One for the whole department and one for our major.”

“Thank you.”

Ha-min bowed his head slightly, and Eun-soo laughed as if finding it strange.

“I’m two years younger than you, oppa. You can speak casually to me.”

“…What? No, but… speaking casually when we’ve just met…”

“It’s more uncomfortable when you’re so formal…”

“Then… okay. I understand.”

Originally, he wasn’t the type to be shy around strangers. He used to run around with neighborhood friends in a big group. But after going through a lot, Ha-min had become more reserved around strangers. He had also become more timid as a result.

“By the way, are you coming to the welcome party today?”

“Ah. Is it okay for me to go?”

“Of course. People will go crazy if someone like you shows up.”

As soon as they started speaking casually, Eun-soo talked to him in a friendly manner. He thought this might be why she became the class representative. Ha-min smiled awkwardly at her compliment.

“I’ll go. Where and what time should I be there?”

“I’ll message you on KakaoTalk. Save my number. That’s my number.”

She called the number Ha-min had given her. Her number appeared on Ha-min’s phone screen.

“Where’s your next class?”

“3rd floor audiovisual room. You?”

“Me too. I think we’ll have almost the same classes as first-years. Want to go together?”

They naturally left the lecture hall together. Ha-min had felt bitter throughout the orientation with no one to talk to, but now he felt much more at ease with someone approaching him so openly.