Tess

She had entered Holyland to avoid being contaminated by the corrupt world. Contrary to her initial concerns, Nancy had easily been absorbed into this place. The problem was that her daughter’s gaze toward the leader wasn’t simply respect. She wished for Iliya and Nancy to marry soon and stabilize.

Iliya was sensitive and diligent, so he would tolerate Nancy’s impulsiveness well. Although she wanted to be optimistic about the future, a sigh escaped unconsciously. The leader was looking at her with the same gaze she had given him.

*

*

“Can’t you just sit still?”

Nancy was irritated by the children who wouldn’t stay still for a moment. In the communal living of Holyland, teenagers took care of the children while adults worked. They were also responsible for returning the children to their parents after gatherings or services.

Iliya performed his duties skillfully without showing any sign of annoyance. Despite being only two years older, everyone praised Iliya for being mature. However, Nancy would become sullen whenever this happened. Why couldn’t her partner be a man like the leader? Since the leader received God’s spirit, she didn’t dare think of becoming his wife. But her husband should be more manly and worthy of respect. She didn’t dislike Iliya, but she couldn’t feel any progressive strength in him, who seemed fragile.

“Ah!”

When a little boy rushed and bumped into her, Nancy’s anger surged.

“I told you if you don’t listen, an alpha will take you away! Would you like to never see your mom and dad again?”

As Nancy threatened him, the child sniffled and then burst into tears.

“Oh, you won’t stop? Do you want to become an omega? Should I tell them to give you injections to make you an omega?”

“Stop it, Nancy!”

Iliya ran over in surprise. He stood between the child and Nancy, embracing the crying child. He patted the back of the sobbing child.

“What are you saying to the child?”

“Why? I didn’t say anything wrong.”

Iliya was about to argue further but stopped. In Holy Church doctrine, alphas and omegas were objects of rejection. There was no means as effective as fear. Children were simple, and they could be easily managed by separating good and evil simply. For Nancy, to whom Holy Church was the truth, everything was clear. So Iliya’s reproach wouldn’t make sense to her.

“When one cries, they all start crying together.”

It was better to give a different reason. Nancy pouted her lips and said, “If you know so well, then just take care of everything yourself,” before storming off. As Iliya was wiping the child’s tears and runny nose with a handkerchief, Mrs. Rollins approached.

“Come on, Henry, go to your friends now.”

After patting his bottom lightly, the child sniffled and headed toward his peers.

“When will that child ever grow up?”

Mrs. Rollins clicked her tongue. Iliya couldn’t agree with her or take Nancy’s side, so he responded with an awkward smile.

“I didn’t have time to properly greet you. I heard you had trouble because of Nancy this time.”

“Ah, no, not at all.”

He had only done what needed to be done in that situation, so he didn’t need to be acknowledged. He usually didn’t talk much with people, but he still felt distance with Mrs. Rollins. She was the mother of his future spouse, so he should approach her first, but it wasn’t easy. After standing with his hands clasped in front of him, he turned to look at the children. Mrs. Rollins was somehow staring blankly into empty space.

“Ma’am?”

When Iliya called, Mrs. Rollins quickly came to her senses.

“Ah…”

“I thought you might have something to say.”

“Oh, no. I just wanted to say thank you.”

“Yes…”

After the awkward conversation, silence returned. As he was considering whether to leave using work as an excuse or to throw out some small talk, Mrs. Rollins spoke first.

“That on your face…”

“Ah, I slipped coming out of the shower.”

It was his usual answer whenever someone asked about his bruises or wounds, so the words came out immediately without hesitation. Nancy, feeling proud after the leader’s praise, was busy sharing her experiences with her peers. She didn’t care about the wound on Iliya’s face. Iliya didn’t expect Nancy to worry, so he wasn’t disappointed. Rather, he hoped no one would notice his injury.

“I’ll bring you some herbs good for bruises.”

“Ah… It’s okay. It will disappear soon.”

His mouth maintained a smile, but he pulled his sleeve to hide the bruises on his arm. His eyes met with Mrs. Rollins’. The woman, whom he had always thought was nearly expressionless, seemed to be asking Iliya with her eyes. Are you really okay? It might have been his own interpretation, but at least that’s how it seemed to Iliya.

“Alright. Be careful not to get hurt.”

When Iliya still responded with a smile, Mrs. Rollins exhaled a short sigh. Seeing the worried woman suddenly reminded him of his own mother.

*

*

Iliya’s mother was a rare case. She was a beta. In high school, she was renowned for her beauty, even being chosen as the festival queen, but she worked an ordinary job and then married Iliya’s father, who was middle class. Then, a few years after giving birth to Iliya, she manifested as an omega belatedly.

Her husband, who had lived as a beta, was shocked and couldn’t accept her. Female omegas weren’t much different from beta women except during the heat cycle. She just needed to take suppressants instead of contraceptives. However, he was always anxious and eventually began to suspect his wife of infidelity. He even questioned whether Iliya was truly his child. He resented her, asking if she had hidden the fact that she was an omega from the beginning of their marriage.

Initially, she tried to understand, but gradually became exhausted. Her husband’s suspicion destroyed her. She suggested they separate if he couldn’t trust her, but despite the situation, he wouldn’t give her a divorce.

His suspicion led to obsession and restraint, and violence became frequent. Iliya was too young to understand the situation well. Arguments were frequent; his father drank alcohol, and his mother screamed. Both were indifferent to Iliya and sometimes neglected him carelessly. His father sometimes looked at Iliya with pity, and other days he glared with frightening eyes. His mother responded either listlessly or hysterically. Iliya kept his mouth shut, and they no longer engaged in conversation either.

*

*

That day, the husband returning from work found his wife entangled on the bed with an alpha woman. Scattered on the floor, as if in protest, were suppressant pills. They mated like animals. Their act finally ended in the middle of the night. The man sat in the living room chair until the alpha woman came out dressed. It was the chair where he once sat with Iliya on his knee, playing with him. Beside it was a gun.

However, he didn’t have the guts to kill someone. Nor did he have the courage to put the gun in his own mouth. His wife came out naked, laughing like a madwoman. She had probably been insane for a long time already.

She spread her arms wide as if showing off.

There, now it’s as you wanted. How about it?

She snickered.

Isn’t it better to see for certain right in front of you than to be anxious about who I might be with?

He howled like a beast and rushed at her. When they fell to the floor, the sound was so loud that Iliya thought the house was collapsing. It must have been tremendous pain, but she didn’t react. Even as her nose broke and teeth were knocked out by her husband’s fists, she didn’t resist. Though it obviously hurt, the immediate physical pain was better than the mental anguish. When the police burst in after a neighbor’s report, he had no strength left to hit her and had collapsed on the floor. The police covered Iliya’s eyes and took him outside.

*

*

The judge declared that their marriage was no longer valid. Assault was sufficient grounds for divorce. Considering the special nature of being an omega, her infidelity wasn’t held against her. Separately from the divorce, the parents were punished for child abuse for exposing violence in front of Iliya. After staying in a child protection facility for a while, Iliya entered a foster home. But with many foster children already there, they couldn’t give him detailed attention. His life was stable, but he still waited to meet his parents again. He wanted to return home.

The court judged that a Beta father with economic stability was better suited for parenting than an Omega mother with unstable employment. The mother didn’t even fight for custody. In front of the courthouse, she left without looking back. She never came to visit Iliya. His father raised Iliya while receiving regular psychiatric treatment. He returned to being a kind father. For the first 6 months.

Severe trauma couldn’t be easily shaken off, and his suspicion shifted toward Iliya. He began to react hypersensitively to Iliya’s every action. He constantly trembled with anxiety that Iliya might manifest as an Omega. Once unleashed, his violent tendencies emerged sporadically. He interfered with Iliya and got angry, but at least until then, he hadn’t used physical violence.

During this time, he learned about the Spiritual Church. The claim that Omega instincts could be blocked through faith was like a godsend to his father. It was exactly what he had been looking for. Becoming deeply involved in the Spiritual Church, his father created his own principles by combining the church’s doctrine with the Bible. And he rationalized it.

His father’s belt was merely a whip teaching obedience to become a servant of God. The corporal punishment was inflicted only on invisible parts of the body, and Iliya desperately tried not to show it outside. Though the pain of punishment was terrifying, the fear of being separated from his parents again was greater. He didn’t want to be alone.

The first time his father laid hands on him, he held Iliya’s hands and sobbed. Saying it was for his own good. That it was necessary to prevent him from becoming a sinful betrayer. So please understand him. Though too young to fully comprehend those words, his father’s tears evoked guilt in the child. So he thought:

If I just obey well, then father won’t get angry.

He did as his father told him. He didn’t even indulge in minor tantrums. Nevertheless, his father’s inconsistent punishments did not decrease. Being unpredictable, they couldn’t be avoided. Things improved slightly after coming to Holyland and being confirmed as a Beta at sixteen, but his father’s anxiety persisted. If something displeased him even slightly, incidents like last night would occur.

What Iliya wanted was what people in the world called a normal family. Like when he was younger, when his mother and father trusted and loved each other. If he got married, he would finally have his own family. With strong bonds that no one could break. He wanted to create his own world with an entirely new family, independent of his parents. That had been his unwavering desire from the beginning until now.

*

*

“Iliya, you said you came here when you were ten, right?”

“What? Yes.”

Mrs. Rollins’s voice broke his long reverie. Was it his imagination that he felt a slight tremor in that voice? The usually composed woman rolled her eyes, scanning her surroundings.

“Then have you witnessed the purification ritual in person?”