The Butcher of Gadobhra

Long after the evening had set, two dozen workers set out from their homes for Gadobhra. It was time to sharpen their cleavers and begin butchering. The recent 'upgrade' in the Barony only formally announced what the butchers and hunters of Gadobhra had seen happening for months: The critters were getting bigger.

The enchanted stockyards now rarely produced a herd of Sedge beasts, and if they did, they were from strange varieties that lived in the deep caverns or mossy woods. Ben was delighted to see the herd of "Deep Cavern, Double-Horned Albino Sedge Beasts." The oversized beasts were Tier Three, and the bulls were Tier Four. Their hides and fur were pure white, and their horns were made of ivory. They were also crazed, mean, meat-loving, and couldn't be ambushed because of their oversized ears. Their meat turned out to be very tender and six times more poisonous than the normal sedge beast meat. Rolly managed to charm one, a young cow already pregnant with triplets. While everyone else was working on butchering the herd, he took her off to a secret pasture. A wagonload of hides and rib sections got sent to the smokehouse with warning signs to make sure the meat was thoroughly cured. Ben took the hides to Althea and Clyde, along with a small bribe, asking them to carefully tan the hides and keep their pure white coloring.

Suzette had laughed when he called dibs on two of the bulls and began to carefully skin them. "I think someone wants to make a new set of armor. I did notice that most of your household has white uniforms." Stay connected via My Virtual Library Empire

"They do. From what I could get from Harmony, it's an old tradition based on a long-ago Imperial whim. An early warning system that someone from House Franklin was riding into town. Damien caused so many disasters when he was a Courier that the peasants were starting to run away when they saw one coming. This way, they only ran away from House Franklin Couriers. I love the protection of my reinforced Sedgebull armor, and it's a lot easier to keep clean, but this leather is tough as hell."

"And the peasants get a warning! Good for everyone."

He scowled at her, "Madame, I'll have you know that if the Emperor ever sends me to help, the peasants are already in deep trouble!"

It wasn't just the sedge beasts that were increasing in size; most of the critters were now bigger and meaner. The exploding pink sheep had bigger explosions, and often, the whole flock went up in flames, and the bodies could be easily gathered up. The carnivorous ostriches had a two-headed variety with meatier wings that packed a punch. When the Infernal Dire Rabbits showed up, Rolly begged to keep a bunch of the sheep-sized bunnies and build a hutch. Finding out they had six-inch claws and breathed fire earned a veto from everyone else. Hunting them was difficult when they got loose. They were fast and used pack tactics to swarm over one worker at a time. Four people died before Ozzy could get their attention. His tough, fire-proof hide held out long enough for everyone else to bring down the colony. His clothes and apron were reduced to just his kilt and workboots, and he was covered in small wounds from their claws and huge teeth.

Suzette stroked the soft, jet-black fur of one of the dead rabbits. "This is so silky! We need to be careful with these. They'll make fabulous fur, and I bet it's fireproof." Billy had sent around a memo to be on the lookout for better materials from the high-tier animals and announced a monthly bonus for the butchers, based on what materials were found each month. The butchers were all in favor of this since they were doing the same work for extra money.

Two new types of animals were in the pens tonight. The first they dealt with were the Lockjaw Snapping Turtles. Each had a shell over six feet across and a mean-looking beak. But they were as slow as a normal turtle and when released, everyone took a break, waiting for them to 'charge' them at the butchering area. The workers spent ten minutes telling turtle jokes while they sipped Apple Kickass and ate Sedgewick Sausages to recover their stamina.

The jokes stopped when Jon and Cham went to deal with the first one.

"Careful of the mouth; looks nasty, and I bet they don't let go easy."
"No problem. Just get behind them. We flip him over and crack the undershell open."

It was a good strategy, but only for lesser turtles. As Jon got close, he heard a loud 'snap' and the turtle's head shot out ten feet, and its beak clamped down onto his leg. The head withdrew and dragged him in close. Cham raced to save his friend and drinking buddy. The second snap was from Jon's leg bone as the turtle's beak cut all the way through his leg. The third snap was from a second turtle, close behind the first, who chomped down on the back of Cham's neck. The turtle flipped him back and forth like a terrier with a rat. Cham died a second later and Jon followed him as the two terrible terrapins latched on before he could crawl away, pulling him apart. With the score now Turtles 2, Workers 0, things got serious.

Suzette began targeting their heads with spells, conserving her mana and slowly burning them down. Ozzy got out a stack of harpoons and began practicing his throws. Most of his shots hit the hard shells and bounced off. Getting near one of the flotilla of turtles proved tough to do. They worked in 2s and 3s to guard each other. It was Aleister who solved the problem. The alchemist took part in the butchering some nights, trying to increase his strength and testing out his latest concoctions. The workers were very careful when the townsfolk came to take part, aware that they wouldn't be coming back the next morning the way the players did.

Staying far out of the ten-foot range of the heads, he began rolling explosives underneath the turtles. He succeeded in two different ways. The first bottle he tossed out, the turtle followed with beady eyes, then snapped out his head to catch it and bite down. The resulting explosion blew its brains out. When some of the turtles didn't try to catch the new toy tossed to them, the explosive potion rolled underneath and flipped them over. With a little caution, the turtles were killed and dragged over to the butchering stations. The nine huge shells were kept, and the meat next to the upper and lower shells was kept for soup and sent to the Inns in Gadobhra and Sedgewick and the Tavern. The rest was dumped into the pit to satiate the appetites of the creatures inside.

The final job of the evening was dealing with three large creatures taking up a corral. Two of the Armored Army-Dillos were Level eighteen, while the last was an Elite Level twenty monster called Sergeant Bulky. All of the creatures looked like regular armadillos, except for their size, and weighed over a ton. Their tails were longer and ended in a mean-looking spiked mace. They didn't wait for the workers to release them. When their near-sighted eyes spotted their prey, the Sergeant honked loudly, and all three lined up against the fence and pushed. The side of the enchanted ironwood corral was damaged from a sheep explosion and couldn't take the strain. The sound of splintering wood announced their charge.

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Ben started to get their attention. Rolly yelled out, "Hey, Ben! Did you know that regular armadillos can sprint at thirty miles per hour and jump four feet in the air? Just something to take into account."

Ben had not known that, and the thought of a one-ton Army-dillo leaping at him was frightening. He ran at one but was dodging even before it tried to leap at him, slashing with his whip at one of the legs. Sergeant Bulky had been in the center but came to a dead stop, pivoted, and used the momentum of the turn to snap his tail at the surprised Courier. Ben took a mace to his stomach and was knocked prone twenty feet away, skidding along the ground. The formation turned and charged at him as he lay stunned. The only thing that saved him from death by trampling was Squirmie swooping in and picking him up. Ben's weight didn't slow her down at all, and she dropped him by Rolly. Another honk from the Sergeant signaled an about-face and a charge toward the workers clustered by the butchering stations.

Ozzy yelled out, "I've got the big one, trying something stupid. If it works, we can split the pack. Ben and Suzette: decoy the smaller two, separate them, then pick one, and everyone piles on. Rolly and Squirmie will coordinate everyone else." Ben groaned as he got back to his feet and fervently wished he had his horse, but even on foot, his Courier abilities let him move a lot faster than the Army-dillos. He took off to the left, cracking his whip to get his target's attention.

Suzette stepped into the shadows and then emerged from another, much closer to the pack. She slowed her target with Silverthorn vines, casting them in front of the charging beast and wrapping them around its feet and tail. The sheer mass of the creature easily tore the vines out of the ground, but it was annoyed. It was annoyed more by the two barking hounds that nipped at its heels, causing little damage but doing their best to confuse the beast. When it took two glowing arrows to the end of its pointed nose, it turned and charged the annoying slip of a girl. She ran away from it but stayed close, circling, and started a game of tag.

As Ben's target leaped at him, he leaped higher, coming down on top of it and grabbing hold of the leading edge of an armored plate, holding on with one hand, digging in his heels, and slashing with his whip. The Army-dillo spun, but he held on. Rolly and Squirmy slashed at its stubby hind legs, the little Princess able to zip under the huge beast with ease, and on her third slash, she severed tendons, and the creature lost some mobility. Several workers ran up to surround the beast, but it had other plans. Pivoting in a circle, it swung its mace tail around, knocking them down before making a small jump and bringing its full weight down on Jess, one of the farmers.

It wasn't enough to kill her, disappointing the creature. It was far more upset when she took her adze and jammed it into the soft underside of the creature as far as it would go. Jess had one broken leg and thought that the safest place was under the large creature, but wanted a better grip, so she reached into the wound and grabbed ahold of a convenient rib bone. The Dillo took off, running in pain, doing even more damage as her passenger was dragged along and holding onto its insides. Ben was still on top, inflicting damage with his whip and healing Jess every time she took damage. Faced with foes it couldn't beat, it tried to roll into a ball. It would have worked if Jess hadn't been in the way. She refused to give up her spot and eventually, with Ben's help, found something important to tear out, and the beast collapsed. Most of the workers ran to assist on the next Army-dillo. Ben stayed to extricate Jess and heal her wounds.

Her only comment to him summed things up nicely: "Butchering is a bloody and painful business, but it beats farming groats."

Ozzy, meanwhile, had trouble of his own. The first part of his plan worked and as the huge monster pounced on him, he simply grabbed in and lifted. The ton-and-a-half elite monster was no trouble for him to lift. Now that he had it in the air, he grew to his full height, straining to keep the struggling creature in the air. Unable to get loose from the Butcher's grip, Sergeant Bulky managed to swing his tail hard, hitting the Butcher in his shin. The damage was minimal, but the pain wasn't. Ozzy was pissed and expressed his anger by breathing fire into his foe's unprotected underside. Bulky showed his displeasure by hitting Ozzy's other shin. That proved too much for the Butcher, who lost control of the boss and toppled over. Bulky tapdanced on top of him for a few seconds, then ran to help his remaining soldier.

He didn't get far as a sturdy chain wrapped around his tail. Ozzy jerked hard, pulling the boss upward and off its feet, and then swung it in an arc as he began rotating. The elite Army-Dillo found itself on the end of the pendulum. Ozzy reeled it in as he kept turning to have more control, then slammed the boss into the side of a ruined wall. The wall cooperated by crumbling and dumping tons of stone on Sergeant Bulky, buying Ozzy some time. He added to that time by picking up more rubble and tossing it onto the pile.

The rest of the workers had joined Suzette, Squirmie, and Rolly and surrounded the other Dillo. It tried to curl into a ball, presenting its armor and rolling away, but Rolly's talons were sharp enough to peel sections of armor off as the other workers held it in place and prevented it from unrolling. They were heading to help Ozzy as the Elite Dillo dug itself free and charged the Butcher. He let it come and shielded just before it leaped into the air. The creature slammed into his shield, bounced, and ended up on its back. Ozzy leaped on top of it, hacking away with his flensing axes as he took slashing wounds from its claws. Healing came from Suzette, and Rolly joined him in carving up the boss, along with all the other butchers as they piled on.

[Your army is victorious over Sergeant Bulky and his Armored Army-Dillos!
All the butchers gain 10 Enhancement points and 1000 points in either Butchering or a skill used in the fight.]

Ozzy grabbed a barrel of Healing Beer and drank a third of it before sitting down and relaxing. Rolly looked around at his friends. "I know we talked about going into the Pit tonight after butchering, but Squirmie is a little tired after that fight."

Ben agreed, "Never go into a hellish dungeon when you're already exhausted from the day's work and your princess is sleepy. That's an old rule, I'm pretty sure."

The Butcher nodded slowly. "A nice day of making sausage sounds good. I'm just going to take a nap. Sunrise is only a couple of hours off."

Suzette reached into her ring and pulled out three heavy quilted bed covers bearing the coat of arms that a student of heraldry would recognize as coming from Crystalthorne Barony. "You boys sleep; I'll fetch a few picnic baskets full of breakfast from Billy's new inn and bring it back. That dungeon can wait until tomorrow."