The Extra of The Lunerra

I always loved playing the guitar.

It doesn’t matter how skilled or awkward I was... whenever I picked up a guitar, as soon as I started working on a melody, I lost track of time.

And after Paul and Aiden... I found myself doing exactly that.

Working on a composition.

I didn’t have anything different in mind at first. So... I just put whatever I was feeling into a random melody.

And then I started playing it over and over.

For minutes.

Then hours.

And then for days.

I hardly left my room except to sleep. Though, I actually didn’t leave it even when I was sleeping...

After a while, I stopped even thinking about what had happened. I just... wanted to finish the composition I had. I couldn’t even understand how the days were passing by.

But then... one day, I suddenly paused.

I stopped playing the chords on the guitar, lost all focus on what I saw out of the corner of my eye as I looked towards the door. And... that’s when the door slowly opened.

Aiden walked in slowly, his usual cane in his hand and dressed in casual clothes.

It was hard to tell from his face what he was thinking. He looked expressionless, like he wasn’t thinking about much. Still... it was different for me.

So many different emotions appeared in my mind.

Happiness, because I saw him again.

Anger, because I didn’t want to see him.

Love, because I liked him.

Hate, because he killed my brother.

Gratitude, for choosing to come to me despite everything.

Regret...

And so many more.

Each one had its own reasons. It was difficult to separate any one from the others, to determine which was more dominant. My mind was a complete mess.

"I’m... sorry, Sue."

And then...

He apologized.

Just like that, simply. As if... as if what he had done was no big deal.

"I’m sorry."

And I... couldn’t help but think.

No matter how bad he was, no matter what kind of person he was...

Couldn’t he at least let me talk to him?

Couldn’t he at least... let him live in prison?

Was it really necessary for Paul... to die?

As his sister, no matter what he thought of me, to want him to live... to feel sorry for him... is that really a mistake? Is it stupid?

"I know I made a mistake. A big mistake. And... I’m not going to make excuses."

He waited for a while, said nothing, and just looked into my eyes.

And then... he said something I never expected him to say.

"Do you want to go to Paul’s... grave?"

"Huh...?"

Paul’s… grave?

*******

Yes, Paul has a grave.

It’s nothing very important, nothing big. It’s just a simple grave in a random place in Wiathen Cemetery.

But I thought it... might be important to Sue.

And... it was, I guess.

Because when I was standing right in front of the grave, right behind Sue... I couldn’t see how she was looking at him, but I could see her body trembling.

Sue knelt down and looked at the headstone with Paul’s name on it.

What was going through her mind? I had no idea.

What was she feeling with her brother’s murderer standing right behind her? Again, I had no idea.

But then, for the first time all day, she opened her mouth.

"Sometimes... I think too much, you know?"

Her voice was shaky. Even though I couldn’t see her face... her eyes were probably teary. It was like she was holding back so much.

"I wonder... what would we be doing now if he was a good person? If he hadn’t killed my mother, if she had lived... what kind of life would we have?"

Her head fell lower, she wasn’t looking at the headstone anymore. Rather... she was looking at the ground.

"But... these are all just questions that will remain unanswered."

Directly to where Paul lay.

"And... as much as I hate you involuntarily... I know that what you did was not entirely wrong."

"..."

"I spoke to your sister a few days ago. When I heard that Paul... was in a relationship with her, I wondered what her thoughts were. Do you know what she told me?"

More or less, yes. I had talked to her, after all...

And my guess was right. She talked about her time with Paul, how their relationship had progressed, how it had ended, and... how disappointing his death had been, rather than sad.

"But... after Paul, she started talking about you."

I paused as I heard something I hadn’t expected, an expression on my face that clearly showed my surprise. Sue, unable to see it, continued.

"As if she knew exactly how things were between us... She said that things between you and her had been extremely turbulent at times. How you hurt her, ruined her life... even made her hate you."

"..."

"But behind every action, she said, you’re always thinking about the people around you, you’re working for the good of everyone around you except yourself, you try to make time for them even on your busiest day... And most of the time, even when it seems like you’re doing something bad, there’s a good reason behind it. She said you might have killed Paul because you loved me... because you loved me, because you didn’t want to see me get hurt."

No.

All she did was... tell lies inside the truth.

"I only killed Paul because I hated and feared him, Sue. I can’t... lie to you."

After a moment, I narrowed my eyes and sighed deeply.

"In fact... I won’t lie about anything anymore, no matter what the consequences."

I put my cane aside and took a slow step towards her.

"I really love you, even if you hate me, even if you never want to see me again in your life... no matter what you do."

She didn’t react in any way. But I continued.

"I love you. That’s why... I don’t want to see you upset. That’s why... it makes me angry to see you break down. That’s why... I hate Paul."

One more step.

"I... don’t know exactly what you feel... I’m not sure exactly what you think about me, what your feelings are. But... if there’s anything you want me to do, I’ll do it without question."

And one last step.

"I’ve done everything because I love you, and I will continue to do so, whether it’s wrong or not..."

I leaned down, wrapped my arms around her body.

"So... if you’re going to ask me to disappear from your sight... at least let me stay like this for a few seconds, okay?"

And... she did.

As the seconds went by, she didn’t push me away, didn’t reject me.

She just... waited.

"I..."

Even when she finally decided to speak, she did not change our posture.

"I will forget Paul."

As her body gradually stopped trembling, her voice became clearer for the first time in a long time.

"His existence, what he did, all the emotions he made me feel..."

She held on to my arms that were wrapped around her, grasping them tightly.

"I have to accept it, what kind of person he is. The evil he could do if he lived... what he’s already done. And... that he’s not the Paul I know. Not ever."

But she didn’t push them away. On the contrary, she buried her head in them.

"So... I am sorry. For hating you even though you tried to do something for me. We..."

And she accepted.

"Let’s start again, shall we?"

Silence descended upon us. I realized I was smiling involuntarily in the warm summer breeze, and then I closed my eyes.

"Okay."

And I too accepted.

*******

After the cemetery, we went back to Sue’s house. But this time the silence between us was... a little different.

Sue looked a little better. She still had a strange expression, though... but she was definitely better.

She had decided to remove Paul’s existence from her life, after all. Of course she would be fine.

When we went back to her house again, I didn’t simply leave her. I went up to her house with her and we went into the living room.

And...

"As I said, I won’t lie anymore, about anything... no matter what."

I told her the truth.

The truth about me. And everything.

The only thing I didn’t say was that this world is a game. And the reason I didn’t say that was because I myself now doubted the reality of it.

I couldn’t tell something I doubted when I didn’t even know the truth myself.

And at the end of it all... Sue asked me one thing.

"What... what was your real name?"

She believed my story, apparently. No matter how fantastic and far-fetched it was, she chose to trust me.

"Ethan. Ethan Subter."

And I too.

"Ethan..."

He said my name simply, then paused. Her lips curled upwards slightly.

"Your name is... nice."

Then I told him what I knew about my name, why my parents, whom I had never seen a single time in my life, had chosen to give me that name. And that even though I hated them... I was at peace with the name they gave me.

From there, the subject... somehow got to my previous life.

And I told her about that too, without hiding anything.

The clock ticked on and on before I realized what was happening. We talked about many different things. We had dinner, and I watched Sue work some more on the melody she was trying to compose.

She wanted to finish it for some reason. Maybe it was the last thing she wanted to do before she cut Paul out of her life completely. So I didn’t question it, I even supported it... The composition was beautiful, no lie.

So... that was the end of the matter in a way.

In a way I didn’t expect, a good one.

What I had to do now... was to focus entirely on the future.

The spirits, Cevilian, the academy, the company...

And much more.