The Porter Has No Interest in the Hero’s Party

It was obvious who would be in the luxurious carriage. That’s why none of us was surprised by the word ‘Daemon’ that came from Keiberess’s mouth. Rather, Keiberess was looking around with a more intimidated expression at our nonchalance, and with her head bowed, she was testing the ground with her feet.

During this time, she was sticking close to me, and the hero blocked the space between me and Keiberess with his body, then pushed her away with his scabbard and said:

“If you don’t want to be treated as a traitor when you return, you should restrain yourself now, Keiberess.”

Only then did Keiberess nod and stop her tick-like behavior. Both Lena and Ashuria were watching the opponent with their hands neatly folded like people at a funeral, and Mille was rolling her eyes to scout the surrounding highlands.

The hero spoke toward the stopped carriage:

“As promised, we’ve brought Commander Keiberess so that you can verify her condition. The demon side should liberate the demon stones in the village and withdraw its forces according to the original negotiation.”

The order to withdraw the forces was thrown in because he couldn’t find the right words to conclude. This was because the kingdom’s army had already confirmed that the demon forces had withdrawn before we arrived here. All that remained was for the demon horny bastard to verify Keiberess’s safety and release the demon stones.

“Hmph.”

A snorting sound reached our side. I first felt puzzled, wondering if they were still mocking us, and then irritation arose at their slow disembarking movement. Lena was fiddling with a dagger in her pocket, and Mille was putting strength in her legs so she could spring out at any time.

“Humans make things complicated. Just hand over Keiberess now. As proud demon commanders, we will definitely honor the negotiation terms.”

Daemon appeared, elegantly stretching his leg as if portraying a swan. His greasy and clean appearance, along with his lavish attire that made it hard to believe he was a general on the battlefield, captured attention. Rather than a renowned commander, he looked more like an easy target on the battlefield and a cornucopia of military achievements.

Daemon seemed to think our gaze contained some kind of respect, as he reflected his splendid armor this way and that, making it sparkle. Because of this, Mille, with her good eyesight, frowned and expressed irritation, and Ashuria sneered at Keiberess.

“What a handsome groom. Humans couldn’t possibly have such a man.”

“…Shut up.”

Keiberess seemed unable to tolerate this provocation, as she responded sharply with a boiling voice. Ashuria seemed satisfied with the fact that she had angered Keiberess, as she was grinning, and Keiberess’s ears were so red they looked like they might burst into flames at any moment.

The hero, not paying attention to the trivial psychological warfare happening behind him, looked straight at Daemon and said:

“You’re saying strange things about already agreed upon matters. Today, we were just supposed to confirm that Commander Keiberess is safe, weren’t we? The hostage exchange happens after the return of the territory demanded by the kingdom is completely finished.”

Daemon stared at the hero blankly, then stroked his chin and snickered. He chatted quietly with his aide and giggled, then said to the hero:

“Your voice sounds like a woman’s, so it’s hard to hear. Sorry, but could you come closer and say it again?”

“Wh-what…!”

The hero seemed weaker to provocation than expected. He visibly wavered at being called womanlike, then looked back at us, and with a reddened face, tried to find words to say and even stammered.

“Th-this…! Y-you…! S-so…! P-playboy and…!”

When the hero stammered and couldn’t speak properly, it was inevitable that people would say the kingdom itself lost the war of words. Even Keiberess, who had been watching the hero with ears flushed red, was becoming calm instead, and Lena, who had been observing the psychological battle between Ashuria and Keiberess, had a thoughtful expression while looking at the hero’s back.

She tapped her chin with her finger, then approached me closely and whispered:

“Mister. Can you curse him instead?”

I blinked at Lena’s words and asked back:

“Me?”

“The hero is a ‘naive country person,’ so he probably hasn’t cursed much.”

“I’m also a naive country person.”

“Oh, come on. Mister. Hmm?”

When Lena made her eyes sparkle like that and asked, I couldn’t just brush it off. Among the skills she learned in back alleys, there seemed to be one for creating an atmosphere that was hard to refuse. I reluctantly nodded, then patted the hero’s shoulder and said:

“Now, Hero. Calm down. Getting angry unnecessarily will only make those guys feel good.”

“Ah, Mister…”

The hero avoided my eyes with a clueless expression and nodded. Then he took a deep breath and placed his hand on his chest.

“Phew…”

I looked into the hero’s eyes and said:

“Are you calm now? Then leave it to me. For such a vulgar fellow, shouldn’t a vulgar person step up?”

The hero looked at Daemon, who was still standing with a relaxed posture, and then looked at me again. The hero nodded and said:

“I’ll leave it to you.”

“Understood.”

Since I had the hero’s permission, there was nothing to hold back. I stood up and boldly shouted:

“The STD-infected horny bastard talks a lot! says the Hero!”

The hero looked at me with a bewildered expression. Daemon, who had been giggling, blinked in surprise at the sudden insult, then smiled again and retorted:

“Don’t you know that embracing women is a virtue for men? You look pretty but don’t know how to properly love women!”

“Seeing that adultery is a virtue among demons, your mother must have had at least 5 men! says the Hero!”

The hero grabbed my arm and said in a low voice:

“W-wait a minute. Mister…!”

I smiled leisurely and gave the hero a thumbs up.

“Hero. Don’t worry. If we don’t go strong against such guys, they’ll look down on us.”

Daemon gritted his teeth with a flushed face and shouted at me:

“Are you insulting my parents now! How dare you! Do you know who I am!”

“I know you’re a man overflowing with virtue, just like your mother! the Hero says! Are you really your father’s biological son?”

“You! Shut up! Don’t distort my bloodline with such dishonor!”

“He also says to stop invading the kingdom! There might be a man who spent a night with your mother in the kingdom, right? Your father might be there, so how can you commit such a unfilial invasion! he says!”

Such verbal battles were extremely childish, and there was an implicit rule that whoever draws a sword loses. Daemon was about to draw his sword with rolled-back eyes, but was barely calmed by his aides and spat out in a quick tone:

“Th-the so-called hero has a rag in his mouth! The level of the kingdom is understandable! You v-vulgar bastards!”

“He asks if you share virtue with your sophisticated mother even within the family! Answer quickly, you incestuous ragged horny bastard!”

“Uaaaaaaaaaah!”

“Seeing your answer, he says it seems you indeed are that ragged horny bastard!”

“I’ll kill you!”

Daemon finally went berserk and drew his sword. But faster than him rushing toward us, demon aides grabbed him and dragged him back behind the carriage. We could vividly hear the frantic voice of Daemon causing a disturbance and the pitiful voices of the aides trying to dissuade him.

“Lord Daemon! If you cause sword trouble here and something happens to you, we’ll all die! Do you think they’ll fight fairly? If Lady Keiberess gets involved and dies, and if these guys escape, what will you tell the Demon King!”

“Oh my Lord Daemon! No matter how angry you are, you need to cool down now! Please? Please endure just this once. Today is not even the day to receive Lady Keiberess. If you cause more trouble here, your position as commander will be in jeopardy. Lord Daemon!”

“Kyaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaa! Uaaaaaaaa!”

He had provoked first, yet he was the one consumed by anger. I gave a thumbs up to the hero and said:

“How was it, Hero? Didn’t I do well?”

“……”

The hero was sitting on the ground with his face completely covered. Mille tilted her head and asked the hero:

“Huh? Hero, are you sad? Why are you sad? Didn’t we do well since we won the verbal battle?”

“…I’m not sad.”

“Then why are you sitting like that?”

The hero didn’t answer Mille’s question and turned his head. Looking at the record official who had come along to verify this negotiation, he said:

“O-Official. Who do you record as having this conversation just now?”

The official said with a stern face:

“Since the hero took the lead in the negotiation, it will be recorded as the hero’s achievement. As you can see here, it says ‘The hero called the demon commander Daemon an incestuous ragged horny bastard.'”

The hero shook his head with a gloomy face and said to the official:

“Ah, ugh…! C-can you write that this mister did it?”

The official said in a resolute tone:

“My goodness, hero, you’re currently the pillar representing the kingdom! Are you telling me to record that you couldn’t even handle a verbal battle in such a negotiation and left it to a porter? That’s unacceptable.”

“…I guess so. Yes, that’s right… Haha…”

Only after hearing the official’s resolute answer did the hero seem resigned. The hero sat down on the ground and sighed, and Keiberess was looking at me with a satisfying expression. She awkwardly gave me a thumbs up as if trying to mimic the gesture I had made, so I nodded to her and returned the thumbs up.

Ashuria looked at me and said:

“You’re good at cursing.”

I felt a sudden chill down my spine and hurriedly shook my head.

“…No. I’m not good at cursing. That was just a dialect outbreak.”

Then I avoided her gaze, but Ashuria was staring at me with a forced laugh at the word ‘dialect’.

Lena giggled and hit my side, saying:

“Mister! You did so well! I told you that you knew something!”

A brief respite occurred until Daemon calmed down.

Even in the relaxed atmosphere, we felt the coldness of the hard demon stones and secretly smiled bitterly.