The Red Words

I arrived at the hardest adventure " middle school", I was discussing complicated formulas and rules. All in which made me hate my life more. My family and I discussed weight, dress code, taxi rules, and sleepover rules. It was one of the hardest years that I passed through. All my classmates were addicted to make-up and shopping, I wasn't that type and I wasn't the pretty girl but I was known in my school and I had a lot of friends. I wasn't either the type that loves to have bathroom chats gossiping with other girls. I was different among my classmates who loved baggy pants and playing basketball in my free time. I wasn't really quiet in school, but when it's studying time I do my best to study. But I faced problems with teachers that really demolished my dreams. Yes, I had a lot of those loud painful conversations with teachers. And there I remembered the rule that I grew up within the elementary school :

" Respect, don't discuss to be the good girl"

Problems, problems, problems! It seems that middle school is lasting forever! I hated my school so much. Teachers, parents, school, and principal all blamed me and claimed that I was annoying and I'm the bad girl who's ruining the "PERFECT". I remember once my principal shouted at me saying that I was born for problems. All I remember from that day is I spent it crying, my tears resided on the collar of my t-shirt and that kept me thinking " Am I really born for that ?" and I questioned myself " Is that really the answer for all that I was looking for those years?" Her words distracted me, suddenly the teacup fell and broke down for many pieces. Pieces! I am made of many pieces. At first, you think you are completely broken, but then you realize that you are made of many pieces, and little by little you start picking up the pieces and you start realizing what you are making is a mirror. And the more pieces you pick and put them together, the more you can see yourself. I should pick myself and prove to the world that I really have a reason for why I am here. I brought that small brown notebook out of my closet and I wrote my first lesson of life.

RESPECT

Dear Diary,

During my childhood, I was taught how I should treat others and myself. Respect means that I should never say no, say yes, thank you, and do not discuss to be the good girl, that was the definition of respect that was given to me. I've been told to respect people always but now I am aware that respect isn't for all. How can I respect someone who doesn't respect me! In school, why we (the students) always should be the wrong ones in the cases between teachers and students. In my early years, I didn't understand and I followed the rules. But now I'll change the definition of respect because the old one isn't working well with me. Respect is accepting the person for who they are, as the way we are. If they don't like us so they don't respect us. I understood that respect is a gift for the people, respect is like a positive feeling. Like if I love you I will respect you, if you talk to me in a nice way I will respect you. If you don't, I won't. Respect shows love and understanding between people. I believe that respect is mutual, that simple.

Advice: Never forget to respect yourself because you are valued.