The Returnee’s Guild Must Grow Properly

Ignoring the perplexed look on Doby’s face, I began reading the messages that had popped up.

|Pr. Spirit Master|: Are you with Doby?
|Pr. Godslayer (Guild Master)|: ㅇ

—What is this single “ㅇ” supposed to mean? Is Doby there or not?

That damned Spirit Master bastard!!

As his voice pierced straight through my eardrums, I clenched my teeth and quickly replied.

|Pr. Godslayer (Guild Master)|: He’s here! Yes, damn it!! Right in front of me, going on and on about himself and this nonsense!!!

|Pr. Spirit Master|: Just hold him there for a bit. He’s supposed to be filming a drama. Why on earth is he dealing with you right now?

|Pr. Godslayer (Guild Master)|: Because I had something to talk about, obviously. Didn’t I tell you? That little punk Doby knows I’m a Returnee.

|Pr. Spirit Master|: Oh, Ifrit…

The Spirit Master sure seemed to favor Ifrit. Every time something happened, he’d start invoking its name.

As I grumbled inwardly, the Spirit Master sent me another long-winded message.

|Pr. Spirit Master|: Why didn’t you contact me directly? I could’ve arranged something for you through my agency! And what if someone sees you? Do you have any idea what kind of scandal this could cause?!

I ignored the message, which was nothing but nagging, and flashed a sly smile at Doby, who was staring at me with a bewildered expression.

“What could you possibly have been thinking, for your face to go through so many expressions in such a short time?”

I wasn’t thinking anything, you punk.

While Doby let his imagination run wild, I rang the bell to summon the Northern Grand Duke. The Grand Duke, who had been watching us with a painterly smile, approached leisurely.

“Yes, how can I help you?”

|Pr. Northern Grand Duke|: Guild Master, I’m thinking of teaching Harim Korean. What do you think?

“Hmm… Can I get a 500ml draft beer instead?”

|Pr. Godslayer (Guild Master)|: Just let her stay a ‘baby food spirit.’ Also, bring me some alcohol.

The Grand Duke’s face momentarily froze, but he quickly replaced it with a capitalistic smile and replied, “We only serve alcohol in the evening, ma’am.”

|Pr. Northern Grand Duke|: Please, get a grip ;;

He must’ve thought I looked unwell for asking for alcohol in broad daylight. Glancing at Doby sitting across from me, the Grand Duke sent another message.

|Northern Grand Duke|: Isn’t that the guy who came looking for you last time? His face seems familiar.

|Godslayer (Guild Master)|: He’s a celebrity. Stage name’s Doby.

“What? Really? Can I get an autograph?”

“….”

Grand Duke, you traitor.

Not that I ever trusted you, but I still felt betrayed.

Doby, suddenly puffing up his chest, assumed a ridiculously arrogant pose upon hearing the Grand Duke recognize him. The sight was truly unbearable.

Before long, the Grand Duke returned with a sheet of drawing paper from who-knows-where and handed Doby a pen. Then he started flattering Doby, claiming his dog couldn’t fly, but maybe someone else’s dog could.

What nonsense is that?

Tuning out the gibberish, I downed the now-melted iced Americano in one gulp.

“There you are.”

“Pfft!!”

I choked and started coughing violently at the sudden voice.

The Demon King, who had somehow approached unnoticed, stood beside the Grand Duke with a disgruntled expression.

The Grand Duke paled visibly, his mouth opening and closing like a fish.

“Ma-Ma…”

|Pr. Godslayer (Guild Master)|: Grand Duke, watch your mouth.

The Northern Grand Duke shut his mouth tight and took a step back from the Demon King, cradling Doby’s autograph like a treasure. The Demon King, however, didn’t seem to care about the Grand Duke at all.

Instead, his piercing eyes were fixed solely on me.

“You….”

“Do you know me?”

The terrifying figure rivaling the Demon King eventually moved away from me. I wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or doomed by this turn of events.

“I remember you. You’re the one who dared to block my path last time.”

“I don’t remember you at all.”

“What…?!”

Yep, I’m cursed. I must be the most unlucky person alive.

Doby furrowed his brows in annoyance and questioned the Demon King.

“What exactly are you, to keep showing up in front of me like this?”

“I am the Demon King.”

“…?”

Oh, for crying out loud.

“Wow.”

The Grand Duke let out a small sound of admiration. Trying to defuse the situation, I messaged the Demon King like I was trying to soothe a child.

|Pr. Godslayer (Guild Master)|: Demon King, don’t say you’re the Demon King. Say you’re a friend. My friend, okay? We’re friends, aren’t we?

The Demon King glanced at me with a sullen expression, seemingly having read the message. I nodded fervently, signaling him to go along with it. After twitching his lips a few times, he reluctantly muttered in a sulky tone.

“I am Do Haun’s friend.”

“Friend…?”

Doby looked at me incredulously, as if seeking confirmation. I shrugged casually and answered with a smirk.

“Yeah, we’re friends. You saw us together last time, didn’t you?”

Come to think of it, there was that guy dragging Doby off last time. Maybe I should ask about him later.

But before I could, Doby asked something that made my jaw drop.

“So does that mean this guy is your boyfriend or something?”

“What…?”

I blurted out, dumbfounded. The Demon King tilted his head quizzically, his brows furrowing as if deep in thought.

Why are you making that face? Why?!

Bracing myself for whatever bizarre thing he might say next, I stared at him nervously. But instead of speaking immediately, he hesitated before calling my name with a hint of unease.

“Do Haun.”

“Y-yeah? What?”

“I am a boy.”

“Uh, right…?”

Something didn’t feel right.

“And therefore, I am Do Haun’s boy-friend.”

Wait. Hold on a second.

I sucked in a sharp breath and turned to see the Grand Duke standing there, pale as a sheet.

|Pr. Northern Grand Duke|: Does our guild allow workplace romances?
|Pr. 9th Circle Archmage|: (૭ ᐕ)૭?
|Pr. Hero|: Grand Duke, are you planning to date Harim? Don’t. She’s not even human.
|Pr. Spirit Master|: Allowing workplace romances? In my experience, that’s a disaster waiting to happen—^^

You absolute idiot, Grand Duke! Couldn’t you just message me privately?! And workplace romance? What romance?! Who in this cursed guild even has time for that?!

“Guy friend!!”

“…?”

I shot up from my seat and yelled. The chair clattered noisily to the ground behind me, but I didn’t care. Pointing directly at the Demon King, I practically screamed, enunciating every word with precision.

“Man! Human! Friend!!”

|Pr. Northern Grand Duke|: Uh… Are you okay?

The Grand Duke sent a private message asking if I was alright, but I ignored it. Glaring at the Demon King, then pointing back at myself, I shouted again.

“You and I are man, human, friends! Not woman, man, friends!!”

The Demon King looked completely baffled as he responded.

“But Do Haun, what else could you and I be if not human?”

“Damn it!!”

I felt mortified, as if I’d overreacted for no reason. But this was all his fault…!

The Demon King tilted his head with a puzzled expression, looking as if he genuinely didn’t understand what was going on. His flawless, angelic face only fueled my frustration further, and I ruffled my hair in exasperation.

“Argh! So annoying!!”

He must’ve thought I was losing my mind because he asked with genuine concern, “Do Haun, are you alright? You look unwell.”

“It’s because of you!!”

“Have I hurt you?”
His eyes went wide with apparent shock. I clenched my fist, trembling, then pounded on my chest to release my frustration.

“Ugh!!”

“Would you like some cold water, sir?”
It was none other than the Grand Duke, with his impeccable sense of timing.

“Yes, please!!”

But just as I thought someone finally understood my plight, the Demon King chimed in, completely oblivious.

“Grand Duke, I’ll have an iced Americano.”

“….”

Unlike the perceptive Grand Duke, the Demon King remained utterly clueless. As I wondered how to permanently shut him up, Doby furrowed his brows and muttered under his breath, “Grand Duke…?”

Straightening the fallen chair, I sat back down with a casual shrug.

“Just ignore him. He’s an extra in training.”

Doby shot me a look that screamed, And so? Taking a deep breath, I continued.

“But this time, he landed a role as the Northern Grand Duke. He’s just way too into character, that’s all.”

What nonsense.

But I also knew this:

“An extra actor, you say? Is he training to challenge me someday?”

Doby would totally believe it.

Expressionless, I took a sip of my bland iced Americano.

“How did you know I was training?” the Demon King asked, utterly serious.

Cough!

When will this training nonsense end?

Choking on my drink, I coughed repeatedly while wiping my mouth with the napkin the Demon King offered. Meanwhile, Doby stared at him, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

“Did he just say I…?” (tl/n: he says it with 짐, first person pronoun used by king or emperor)

Clearing my throat, I answered before Doby could process anything further.

“After playing the Northern Grand Duke, his next role is that of a king. He’s practicing his lines right now.”

Honestly, I had no clue anymore.

Whatever we’d been discussing earlier was now completely derailed by the Demon King’s sudden entrance.

Actually, I remembered. But having a proper conversation now? Impossible.

Damn it! Do I need to schedule another meeting with Doby? Why did the Demon King come here and cause all this trouble? More importantly, how did he even find me?

“Sir.”

I cooled my nerves with the cold water the Grand Duke had brought, taking a deep breath to calm myself. Then, watching the staring contest between Doby and the Demon King, I decided to send the Demon King a private message.

I promised myself I wouldn’t lose my temper, no matter his response.

|Pr. Godslayer (Guild Master)|: Demon King, how did you know I was here?

|Pr. Demon King|: I sent a divine proclamation.

|Pr. Godslayer (Guild Master)|: A proclamation? To whom?